The surge was successful!
 

The Iraqi Occupation has been stretched out and is now officially the next idiot-in-chief's problema. Mission Accomplished.

We are bringing the troops home. By 2054, we expect to have brought home 6 or 7 of 'em. (Or something equally non-committal and vague.)

Does your wife complain about your drinking? Here’s what to do. Raise it from 5 ounces a day to 7 ounces a day. Take the heat. Then promise to cut back to 5 ounces, and make a token move in that direction.- Michael Rozeff

haha

Ahh, yes...the Forsythe "Jughead" Jones maneuver:

Archie: I need to borrow 10 dollars from my dad. He'll never give it to me.

Jughead: Easy. Just tell him you want 50 dollars, then when he recovers from that say you could get by with 10 dollars.