It's Cancer
 

I knew it. I knew it when I saw the mammo.

I see a surgeon sometime next week---holiday weekend and all, won't be able to talk to one till tuesday.

It's big and leggy.


I am really not ready to have a mastectomy or to die. I'm kinda in shock.

Oh, oh Bri...

But here's the deal, see? Don't go thinking of the worst possible case in your head, because maybe it won't be the worst possible. Focus on what is good. Whatever this thing is, you can surely beat it. It's something you can face with energy. It's a part of life, and dealing with such seriousness often changes people for the better. Look at Michael J Fox who, after a few years of dealing with his sad and chronic condition, wrote a book about his life and situation and titled it "Lucky Man". Lucky, he calls himself. You are too: because aside from being this cool person, which I know you are, you can beat whatever this is, and I know you can. And out the other side will be a new person with greater wisdom and a different sense of what life means.

We love you Bri. Stand strong, woman, and kick the shit out of this thing.

You can manage this. I've seen enough of it in my family to know you can beat it. Be strong.

I'm very sorry to hear this. Being a nurse, you probably know way more about the subject than I do, but I'm going to write this anyway. Most cancers are survivable by a majority of the people who are diagnosed with them.

You know you can work on the odds by taking care of yourself. One of the more recent studies, ironically using registered nurses, showed that diet and exercise can help with the odds.

Take care of yourself. Help others to take care of you.

You are going to beat this.

cock :(

Bri, I"m here for you. Good luck.

Thankyou all so much---god, my eyes actually hurt from no sleep (went to my son's football game [he's captain!!!] last night [they won 45-zero!]) and then had a rotten cry this morning.

My family's reaction has been...well, like they themselves, it's been strange. My older sis (a pediatric nurse) has been amazing, my little sis (nearly dual citizenship with Jamaica d/t her deep love of the ganja) has been good and my mother--a woman I am closer to than any other person on earth--is acting like nothing is going on at all! Like, well, it's a cold, you'll get better. Now, I know why she is doing this--but in all honesty, it's weird. My father said NOTHING. My exhubby (the one I LOVED--HA!) said, "Claudette, I'm taking what you're saying and cutting it in half--you make mountains out of molehills....blah, blah, blah..." and, I will concede, he does have a point. I do tend to (to use a fucking AA term) "awfulize"--in my defense, I SAW the mammo. I SAW it. I was a member of the American Registry of Radiologic Technologists and I took another test to be Mammo certified tech AND I was an ultrasound tech--I know all this does not sit with many cellarites ideas about me, but, honestly, I was good at what I did and I had a critical radar (some call it intuition) that allowed me to see what was going on (a gift that I, not knowing how to handle, squandered and let destroy a part of me) and I know NOW what is going on. i was able to kid myself for this past week--oh, most lumps are benign, 90% are false positives, etc., etc. but, I saw the mammo thursday (the tech left it out while she had the spot films checked by the rad) and I saw the monster--all tentacles, from my armpit legging down toward my nipple---all legs. THEN I saw the US (I had to see it, I was facing the screen--plus, I used to work there) and I saw that the edges were blurry (bad) and there were echos in the mass itself (not liquid, like a simple cyst) I begged the US tech to tell my what the Rad. said and she onlly said, "Claudette, we're going to expedite this--your doc will have the resutls tomorrow." I knew then I had cancer.

Look--I've had an amazing life. I really have. I cannot doubt that this thing has metzed. Microcalcifications, huge, leggy, by my armpit--at the very least it's in my lymph nodes (the bodys Highway!!).

The point of all this is: thank you, all. For your compassion and love and fellowship.


I'm going to fight, yes. but If i don't win---it;s oK, too.

That sucks! Don't give up. If it's at all possible, get a second opinion. When my sister had it she got a completely inappropriate level of chemotherapy.

Even if it had metastacized, you can still beat it. One of my friends has been living with it for 10 years. It's never going to go, but she has it beat. She's living with it, not dying slowly.

Bri, I'm so sorry, but you've already given yourself the best chance you have -you're coming out fighting. Good on ya.

My mother-in-law is almost a year out of her mastectomy due to stage 1. She finished chemo about 2 months ago...her hair is growing back now and she gets her fake boob after our wedding.

Hang in there, Bri...I'll be sure to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

ahh but now you can get away with smokeing some weed , kemo ,angziety , etc,,,,, ;)

Seriusely though , hang tough , all will be well !!!!!!!

My mother is a survivor...I've lost track of how many years.

You will beat this. If nothing else, you'll sarcasm the crap out of it and it will run fleeing from your body.

Bri, I don't know what to say, aside from trying to make a joke out of sheer speechlessness, but know that I am not far away and if there is anything I can do let me know.

Love ya, girl.

Hey Bri -- you're right, you are an expert in this field. Take charge of your own wellbeing. Do the research, read the papers, get accurate typing and diagnosis, and above all, pay attention! Don't like your onc? Fire him/her and get another. Visit the experts. Take charge.
You are uniquely poised to be the best health care provider possible for yourself, both by training and by inclination. Make the effort, because you are surely worth it.
- Pie

Oh...and if you die, Bri, I will be offended and never speak to you again!

Much healing mojo headed your way - get in the fight we support you.