Bitch, moan, kvetch
 

this is MY time to bitch, moan and kvetch about my life

being apart of my family is really hurting and sometimes i just want to leave, as horrible as that sounds
my job is increasingly annoying and every time i wake up i think "i don't want to go to work today" and the pay isn't good but i cant quit, i just cant
dont worry im not suicidal, i think thats the most selfish decision you could make and anyway that wouldnt help my problems
i want to drive at 100 mph on the expressway to nowhere. that really helps me when i feel angry, upset, sad, confused or an extreme emotion
but life just sucks at this moment in time and i wanted to get it all out

i really miss a certain someone

I don't know when I have ever been so conflicted. ever.

one minute, I'm cool, getting my work done. The next minute, I'm freaked out that all my waiting will be my undoing. Not answering calls is not getting easier.

Basically, I don't know what to do. I want someone to take charge for a while.

The mood swings, from neutral to panic, man, that's new and I am not digging it. I have a very thin thread to hold onto here to keep the *very bad things* from happening, and I swear, it does not look like it will hold me. I'm scared.

I am incommunicado. That is hell for me. I appreciate solitude, I enjoy quiet. But the pleasure of quiet is that it is a break from the noise. The prospect of no communication at all in the future drains all the pleasure from the solitude.

Sleeping on the floor? What's to come "home" to? No wonder I tarry.

And I'm conflicted on the goals. My goals. Her goals. His goals. Their goals.

What do they want and how is it related to what they're saying. Cause they don't match. Not even all the communication matches.

My brain hurts. My gut hurts.


My heart is broken.

Your heart is broken, but your eloquence is intact.

I hope that your being able to express yourself is helping.

Wait is this the same anonymous? is this a thread were everyone can bitch moan kvatch about their problems, secretly?

Anonymous. You'll get through. You will. You'll get to a point where this is in the past and won't feel so raw. Just keep doing the basics and sleep a lot (my own personal solution to heartbreak and addiction-breaking). Get as much exercise as you can too. If there's somewhere you can walk, then go for walks.

Point of order ~ Don't PM me for the password, I don't remember what it is.

oohhhh... rough night... very bad.

Big V, if what you've quoted is [or is similar to] your situation, then I think talking to the parties concerned is a start. Can you do that? Do you need/want a counsellor with you to help keep talks on track? Each (or either) party trying to work it out in their own head alone is not a method conducive to mutual understanding.
Some simple points (forgive me if they're too simple):
When talking about how you feel, don't say "you make me feel ..", just say "I feel ... when you ...".
Try not to say "always" when mentioning another's behaviour.
Allow the other party/ies to have their say, and politely request the same of them.
Good luck.

daylight.

I'm just sayin....

:whew:

That's good to hear, BigV, but I still hold to what I said in post 8 ...

BigV, whatever it is you're dealing with, I really hope you get through it.