Gifts
 

My stepdaughter's 9th birthday is coming up, and we are at a complete loss as to what to get her. Any suggestions?

I know you're going to ask, "What sort of things does she like?" and the answer is nothing in particular that we can determine. 99% of the time she fiddles with the baby's toys rather than any of the tons of things in her room. She wants to watch whatever the other kids watch, wants to do whatever everyone else wants to do. She is the ultimate people-pleaser and will not express an opinion even if pressed. She does like to read manga, and we've gotten several for her, but we need to get her more than just books.

So what would you get a 9-year-old girl you knew nothing about?

Pogs!

No, wait. I might not be the right person to ask.

a trampoline

Books.

Stuff without batteries.

Craft-y cut it up and glue it together kits.

If she's attuned to the baby, maybe a baby doll of her own. I'm not sterotyping here, I'm trying to read your vibe. I saw a commercial this weekend of a "Mommy make me better" baby or something like that. Brings out the inner nurturer. The dolly has red leds behind her translucent cheeks. They glow when she has a "fever" and dim when the "medicine" is administered. The same for the heart shaped boo-boo on her wrist when covered with a band aid.

A musical instrument.

A special trip somewhere--the zoo, the museum, the science center.

A bike. I remember fondly my first two wheeled bike. My world expanded dramatically when I had my own "wheels".

A ball to play catch with. A glove. Not a baseball whiz yet? How about one of those kits that have hook covered paddles for the hands and a fuzzy ball. Velcro catch. Veeerrrrry easy to succeed. Or a throw toy called a foxtail--a ball with a long (three feet) fabric tail. If you miss late on the ball, maybe you'll trap the tail.

A kite.

Clothes. I love the sons and the daughter (and nephews and nieces) equally, but you have to admit, the girls are a lot more fun to decorate.

Jewelry, maybe a special pendant or earrings? Can she get pierced ears yet, Mom?

I could go on and on. I love kids. :)

My first reaction is to go into an independent toyshop and ask them - but I don't know whether these are prevalent in your area. Independent (proprietor owned) shops usually get feedback from parents and children and so can give you real feedback.

If she usually fiddles with the baby's toys I'd give her something small that uses imaginative play. She may still be interested in real toys and creating her own stories. Something like Sylvanian Families or Polly Pocket - as long as it's complicated, not just a toy figure.

One of the issues I find both working here and with friends/ family is that people assume that children grow up so quickly - and then complain how grown up they are. Girls up to 13 still appreciate small, delicate, intricate toys. And away from everyone else, a 9 year old will definitely role play. If you really think she is worldly wise and will despise these, Barbie is still a safe bet - again, role playing but with the fashion and lifestyle edge. Same with Girl's World (do they still do that? a head you apply make-up to and arrange her hair)

If she's a real people pleaser, give her a wonderful book. She'll read it to please you and you'll have given her a gift for life. I started to really rate books at 10 (as in books I will reread now). Something like Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House in Big Woods.

Hope you find something she enjoys.

--Shoes from Zappos--some cool Converse perhaps?

--take her shopping for clothes if she likes that

--some "grown up" coloring books and a set of really cool markers. Dover makes some really nice ones, and there are educational ones on animals, anatomy, etc. that are fantastic.

--an ipod if you want to spend some bucks

(I'm not trying to shoot you down here, I'm just trying to give you more insight into her personality for additional help...)

She has about 6 or 7 of them, never opens them.

This is a possibility. She's only with us for a weekend at a time though, are there negative repercussions if the baby doll has a fever for two weeks? ;)

We have a nice keyboard, and she takes piano lessons at her mother's house but hates them. Maybe a recorder (you know, the kid-friendly flute-like things) or something though.

Her main birthday present last year was a trip to a local water park, and the year before that was a special trip out to see a play with her grandmother.

She's had one since she was about 5, but still doesn't know how to ride it (doesn't have one at her mom's.) We work on teaching her a little bit each time she's here, but she's generally terrified of falling over and it's hard when you don't get regular practice.

The velcro paddles are a possibility. She has a foxtail ball (and it never gets played with... notice a pattern yet? :)) Easy-to-catch would definitely be a requirement, she's not terribly athletically inclined. She's complained before that at camp they don't let her "sit and relax" enough.

She has two.

Unfortunately she views clothes as a simple necessity, not an enjoyable thing. Her relatives all give her clothes and she has told us (in private, she's a polite child!) that she doesn't understand it.

She has pierced ears, and probably a half dozen each of earrings and necklaces, but she never wears them. She just keeps the same one pair of studs in her ears at all times.

Please do! I love kids too, and I'm usually the one who comes up with really awesome gifts, but this kid is just so introverted and really hard to figure out!

I'm not sure I'm ready for one of those huge monstrosities in my backyard, and the little round ones suck.

At last count she has about a dozen Barbies and probably a similar number of Polly Pockets. She does play with them on occasion, but I kind of feel like giving her more of them is a cop-out? Maybe I'm trying too hard to expand her horizons though.

I was about her age when my mom got me a large and complex dollhouse kit where you painted and assembled the whole thing yourself. I really liked it once it was done, but I admit I got lazy and made her put most of it together. Maybe I could find something like that.

We've thought about one of those large, really detailed posters, I forget what they're called, where the inked part is actually fuzzy like black velvet? It would take her forever to finish, but that might be part of the appeal. Her Lite-Brite has been one of the few artsy toys that's retained its fun for her.

money?

Get her a motorcycle and you could use it during the week.

My daughter always liked Barbies, Polly Pocket, etc. at that age. (I prefer Polly Pocket myself. The accessories, being soft and flexible, are much less painful when you step on them in the carpet than the Barbie shoes etc.) But sounds like that's all tapped out.

My daughter suggests dress-up clothes. She also likes Tamagotchis.

How about a razor scooter? A pair of roller skates?

How much are you looking to spend?

Is she the kind of kid that will do things with other people, or does she prefer to play by herself?

Admittedly, I was an usual kid, but a Hoyle's Complete Rules of Card Games (which includes solitaire games as well as games for two or more players) and two decks of cards was good for me for hours upon hours of amusement.

I collected Breyer Horses ... they're still around, but you might want to avoid dust-ables.

I was looking at the amazon.com listings for 8-11 years olds, but honestly, nothing really stood out. Scrabble is timeless, but a poor choice without someone willing to play with her.

I have four very expensive Native American Flutes, but I keep one of these in the trunk of the car in the event of a flute emergency. These plastic flutes have pretty good tone for the price, and they are very durable. It's musical, requires only a small amount of musical skill, but has a high coolness factor. It can reinforce a lot of the skills she's learning in piano, but without the drudgery associated with piano practice (I took piano, and a bunch of other kinds of music lessons, so I know what that's like).

When my daughter turned 9, instead of a birthday party, I took her and a few (3) of her friends to the mall to one of those "glamour shots" places.

The girls had fun getting made up (It was age appropriate). they each had a few outfits (supplied by the photographer) and we took group shots and individuals for each of the girls. It was not expensive (trust me - back in the day I didn't have an expansive budget) and my daughter and her friends had great take aways.

We still have the one large picture of my daughter hanging in the living room.

Yeah, maybe instead of giving her a thing you can do something together. A camping trip with one or two of her friends, a movie and ice cream, a day where "she is the boss" and decides what is for dinner, what movie to rent, when bedtime is, horseback riding...

The RC Dragonfly! My 9yo daughter adores hers -she saved up to buy it. We all do in fact. I think I posted about it somewhere, wait.....