Save your soul!Jesus loves you!Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near
 

Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. 19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God

The time has come," Jesus said. "The kingdom of God is near. Repent

"You've caused trouble for the last time!", the Romans screamed, and nailed Jesus to a cross while his own people watched. Later, they were pretty bummed about having ratted him out in the first place, so they made up this story about him rising from the dead. Much later, they started giving each other chocolate bunnies because someone finally figured out that the old Pagan ways were a lot more fun anyway.

Jesus walks into a motel and hands the desk clerk 4 nails and asks "Can you put me up for the night?

One of my all-time favorite jokes.

Repent of Christianity! Repent ye hypocritical sinners!

No.

I think we have a new kind of spammer on the forums.

Jesus loves me, this I know. But I'd sell my bible for some blow.

yeah yeah.. now do you have some swampland in jersey to sell me or what?

Or maybe Jesus sports figurines, like Golf Jesus:

that golf figurine is just wrong. with the distance the kid is from the ball it looks like jesus is kipnapping her and the young boy is reaching for something to hit him with

The creator of the Mircea.Gabriel.Bot has a dual bible holster too, I bet.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/102/2...a89ee4fdd5.jpg

Does Jesus have his hand on that little boy's putter?

...

So why does Jesus never eat M&Ms?

They keep falling out through the nail holes.

Sisyphean, I'm tellin' ya.

Unless Tantalus is more the thing.