I think I have an addiction
 

I think I have an addiction. I like alcohol. I like to mix it with pills when I get stressed or when I get bored. I can go a week without drinking, but the urge gets me. I can sleep. I can relax. The only problem is I often blackout. I feel like my choices are to drink till I am blind or suck on the barrel.

No pity please. I'm adult and I make my own decisions. Better to be an honest drunk than an liar

I hope you have blackout lights installed on your vehicle in case it happens while driving. :eek2:

Seriously though, the pills and alcohol are old hat; but, what do your VA docs have to say about the blackouts?

Has the VA crisis intervention hotline been of any help either to you directly; or, in motivating your docs to try different approaches?

I'm sure you already know that before you suck on the barrel you first have to squeeze lime juice on it and sprinkle it with salt. Doing that to a good barrel should alone be enough to make you try all other alternatives first. :eyebrow:

You can do it; but, you don't have to do it ... it's up to you.

I understand what you're saying, sarge. Just stay with us, that is the thing we can ask of each other. Hugs.

Sarge - Don't make me come down there ...
It'd be tough driving with the finger and all. ;).

Can you throw yourself into another passion? I traded my problem behavior for the fencing and mountain biking etc.. Work to exhaustion, sleep like a baby, lather rinse repeat.

Never had you figured for a barrel-sucker, Sarge.

Alcohol w/pills (actually anything that "makes it better") can become a crutch very easily. And you don't need no stinking crutches. You can walk on your hind legs.

God down to the lagoon and smoke a little weed.:joint:

Believe it or not, I have never tried weed because it is illegal. My daughter says it would it help me, but I won't try until it is legit. Everyday I struggle with suicide because I miss my soldiers. i know they are waiting for me. God, I miss Tull

If you killed yourself, would your children end up struggling with suicide because they miss you and know you are waiting for them?

What sexobon said. It's a hard struggle, but you wouldn't want to leave that burden and legacy to your kids.

If there is any viable treatment option within your reach - please run, don't walk.

I haven't smoked weed in 20+ years, but I'd do it again in a second if it meant I could function better, enjoy my life and spend more time with my kids.

Hey guys. It is Monday morning and I have my head on straight. Thanks for putting up with my crap. Some how or some way, I am going to beat this problem.

So forge ahead with the whoring, and making babies with busted families, and drinking, and threatening to off yourself... but don't you dare go get high, even therapeutically, because that is the end of the goddamned world?

For the record, suicide is also illegal.

Yep, it is pretty stupid. Plus, I need to man up and deal with my issues rather drinking and whining.

Try putting on big girl panties. It works for me. I think I even have pandapanties around here someplace!