Top 10 Worst Reasons To Have A Kid
 

10. Can’t get into sweet Burger King playland ball-pit without one.

9. MySpace profile looked lame with friend count at “4,999”.

8. Well, somebody is gonna have to avenge your untimely death in a drunken bar brawl.

7. Looking to sell naming rights to GoldenPalace.com.

6. Your cult leader insisted.

5. Two words: Instant Carpool

4. Wife refuses to listen to your angry diatribes about post-modern art. Kid has no choice.

3. Potential kidney donor.

2. Seemed like the best way to quell media rumors about your impeding breakup with Tom Cruise.

1. Already spent that sweet “Dependent Tax Credit” on World of Warcraft weapons upgrade.

...So I can use the HOV lanes. Its ok. I leave the car running and a box of Cheerios next to the car seat while I'm at work.

...So I can meet the new pre-school teacher. Grow faster, damnit!

...Well, somebody's got to cut the damn grass and it ain't gonna be me.

...Because I can't figger out how to work this new internet thingy. Damn kids are born knowin this stuff.

...Gator bait.


You know, the problem with knowing that your going to hell is that after that, doing more stuff that makes you go to hell - well, they can only send you there once so... ;)

I know plenty of people that had kids simply because they love babies and wanted the attention. Strangely, it never seemed to fully sink in that babies don't stay babies forever, nor did they seem to realize that children have a tendancy to drain wallets.

The first problem is usually overcome by simply having another, which compounds problem #2. Sad.

And they keep making those babies until they have grandbabies to get their fix. :(

Eleventh worst reason to have a kid:
So I can name him Sue.

#1 Worst Reason to Have a Kid:

Hunger

"My daddy left home, when I was three..." -- A boy named sue, great example of reason(s) not to have kids...

...love that song! :D

12) to keep Social Security afloat.
13) to show how good a ball player you could have been.
14) to prove that they pretty much raise themselves.

15) To prove to your parents it ain't that hard.

16: To fulfill your continuing desire to play dress up dolls.

17) Because you wanted something to fit into those baby handknits.

what about the old tried and true:
"it will help cement our rapidly crumbling marriage?"

My fave is that you don't have to worry about getting her pregnant, (because she already is, for nine months anyway)

In order to attract the attention of girls. "Aww, such a cute baby. Is he/she/it yours?"

The one I always hear from insecure young women.
"I just want someone to love me"
Which confuses the hell out of me... don't they remember what they said to their parents from 11-19?