Life's a...
 

in the last few months I've worked with my son who has been hit with a condition that will affect him for the rest of his life, I've sold my business, accepted a judgement larger than my boys' tuition, seen my personal finances take a considerable hit, felt my personal reputation brutalized, been sued by people for the results of their decisions, been anally raped by uncle sam, allowed to be a coach to a group of exceptional young males, been called a douchebag by an elected official, and charged with a misdemeanor that will never stick.


What's crawling up your ass right now?

Wow. Lookout, I got nothing for you but prayers and good thoughts, and the hope that you have a strong group of friends / family to lend a shoulder.

In the last 8 months I've lost both my children to a devastating metabolic and immunological disease that is costing around $1000 a month to treat, and may or may not affect them for the rest of their lives. They may be completely independent normal adults, or have to live at home, have no friends, and be unable to hold a job, their futures uncertain after I die--it's totally up in the air. I have learned a completely new dietary lifestyle, and stopped being able to eat out of the house, ever. I have discovered in the process that I am almost certainly an undiagnosed Celiac, as I can no longer eat bread products even on the sly without severe stomach pain. I am aware this greatly increases my risk of getting the colon cancer than runs in my family. I have lost friends over my new lifestyle, but gained a few new ones. I have told off our pediatrician. I have started a website that I secretly hope will somehow make me millions.

Next?

Hey Clod -- I meant to send this article to you earlier. I don't know if you are aware of this, but you may be able to finagle some tax write-off in the grocery budget.

to any

Sending out good thoughts knowing there is always the promise that tomorrow cannot possibly feel as bad as today.

In between the days of despair are the days full of hope and promise.

I concur with smooths good words too.

THis year, I achieved my childhood dream, but too late for my Father to see it. I watched him die and held his hand as he did. I have lost my political moorings and with them friends I thought were fast. I have gained a friend I hadn't realised was such and am grateful for that. I lost faith in my party and my work then regained some small semblance of the same in what I do. I saw a good friend go through hell and survive. He has given me some grey hairs for a souvenir. I have reacquainted myself with old demons.

It has been a strange and unsettling year.

Oh yes, I keep every relevant grocery receipt, and I have a spreadsheet that I fill out. It's based on this one. I'm really eager to file taxes this year because we're going to get a huge refund after all the medical writeoffs.

This year I have finally had meaningful help about my problems with alcohol.
I have fallen off the wagon a number of times, but have dutifully got back on, and each episode has been of a shorter duration.

I've got to know my parents far better than either of my siblings ever will - for good and for bad. I've established a better ad more honest relationship with Mum (although we'll never really be honest with eachother) and had to distance myself from Dad. Which is possibly a good thing, as I hero-worshipped him before.

I've had the most comprehensive treatment for my depresion, which almost amuses me, given I loved in two progressive cities and am now back in a county town (state capital divided by 10)

I am learning to love myself. It's damn hard. But not drinking helps. Drinking will always be there in my life.

Life is... a journey. I pulled into the shitty way-station. I'm pulling out.

:thumb: I've said it before, I'll say it again: you rock!

Prayers headed to all of you.

I cannot even begin to start posting my issues...

I am on the "perspective" bandwagon. I am maintaining a positive perspective. It's all relative.

I very recently achieved my lifelong ambition (publishing a real book that appears in real bookstores), but I have been too unhappy with the rest of my life to really enjoy the moment. Blah. I experience brief flashes of, "Wow, I published a book!" but such happy thoughts are quickly snuffed by my cynical psyche.

Rest of my life = unhappy marriage, mountain of debt, unhealthy weight gain, and profound shortage of ambition.

But, it could be worse.

I recently moved my mother, at her request, to be much nearer me so that we could enjoy a few more japes together, as she is surely getting older.
Sadly, the move seems to have precipitated an abrupt and bumpy ride into dementia, with falls, two broken arms (she's never broken a bone in her life before) and, tragically, an intermittent awareness of the awful quagmire into which she is sinking.
Instead of having two or three visits a week from me, and living in a more stimulating environment at this critical time, I can only get to see her once a week as it's a three hour trip each way for me for a three hour visit and she is in a totally unfamiliar place where there is absolutely zero mental stimulation. A regimen almost guaranteed to make things worse, and I don't see how I can change that.
I am in despair.

I'm actually pretty happy right now.

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Feeling helpless is horrible, and the situation you and your mom are in, even worse. If you can't be there, and there isn't staff who can regularly stay with your mom, look to hire a person to go sit with her and visit her. If you can't afford to hire, there are probably volunteer groups who help the elderly in the area and would be willing to visit your mom. On your once a week visit you can remind her that she will be having a visitor. With her dementia she might be distrusting of the person, but if you are able to get the same person to go every time, she might accept them. Having a presence there, someone who just talks/reads/checks up on her, could help her a long way. If not, you'll know that she didn't have to spend all that time alone.

I have had zero responses to my resume. Son of A B&*@#!!!!

Where is the thread where I just get to curse? The gods even......I am willing to curse the gods as well. I will so do it.