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-   -   Is it over? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=11140)

anonymousfornow 07-02-2006 01:03 AM

Is it over?
 
My boyfriend of 10 months has been caught answering personal ads with an invitation to his apartment and a XXX pic. Keep him and forgive or cut my losses? Be brutally honest.

xoxoxoBruce 07-02-2006 01:17 AM

Welcome to the Cellar, anonymousfornow. :D
Cut your losses...run like hell.

anonymousfornow 07-02-2006 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce
Welcome to the Cellar, anonymousfornow. :D
Cut your losses...run like hell.

I was pretty sure this is going to be the major consenus. I am in shock and looking for some magic.

AlternateGray 07-02-2006 01:59 AM

I second Bruce. And you have my sympathy.

limey 07-02-2006 03:40 AM

Lose the boyfriend. Take some time to be with yourself. Welcome to the cellar

DucksNuts 07-02-2006 05:17 AM

I'm with the others, lose him!

Sorry you have to go through this though....and welcome :)

WabUfvot5 07-02-2006 06:16 AM

magick to kill him i hope.

anonymousfornow 07-02-2006 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jebediah
magick to kill him i hope.

I am hurt and sad but I'm astonished over the lack of anger I am able to rouse. Is there no hope? I can't understand it. Nothing is wrong. In fact, everything is going perfect. It was an accident that I found out. There were no signs there that made me want to investigate.

limey 07-02-2006 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anonymousfornow
I am hurt and sad but I'm astonished over the lack of anger I am able to rouse. Is there no hope? I can't understand it. Nothing is wrong. In fact, everything is going perfect. It was an accident that I found out. There were no signs there that made me want to investigate.

Nothing is wrong except your "boyfriend of 10 months has been caught answering personal ads with an invitation to his apartment and a XXX pic". Everything is going perfect except he's looking for sex elsewhere. Was it an accident you found out, or did he set it up that way? Lose him. If you're not angry so much the better, don't waste the emotional energy on someone who won't expend any emotional energy on you.
Good luck.

Beestie 07-02-2006 11:18 AM

I'd at least ask what it was he wasn't getting from you, why he wasn't comfortable bringing it up with you and go from there.

If you are so inclined, break it off but I'd at least try to find out what was going on. Not that the answer will make you feel any better but the info may prove useful.

Without knowing more about you two, I can't advocate a course of action.

Trilby 07-02-2006 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie
I'd at least ask what it was he wasn't getting from you, why he wasn't comfortable bringing it up with you and go from there.


What he wasn't 'getting' from her was a variety of pussy-experiences as she only has the one. Lose him, my dear. The sooner, the better. A guy who does this will KEEP doing it.

I know how you feel and you have my sympathy.

anonymousfornow 07-02-2006 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna
What he wasn't 'getting' from her was a variety of pussy-experiences as she only has the one. Lose him, my dear. The sooner, the better. A guy who does this will KEEP doing it.

I know how you feel and you have my sympathy.

I know this.You are right. I have only one. I provide plenty with just my one. Thats why I know something is deeply wrong with the whole scenario. I am using all my might to refuse acceptance. I don't want it to be true. I love this man.

Trilby 07-02-2006 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anonymousfornow
I know this.You are right. I have only one. I provide plenty with just my one. Thats why I know something is deeply wrong with the whole scenario. I am using all my might to refuse acceptance. I don't want it to be true. I love this man.


Men like 'plenty' but they like 'plenty of DIFFERENT' even more.

What do you love about him? His duplicity? His sneaky-ness? His ability to pose for XXX pix to send to complete strangers? What?

anonymousfornow 07-02-2006 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna
Men like 'plenty' but they like 'plenty of DIFFERENT' even more.

What do you love about him? His duplicity? His sneaky-ness? His ability to pose for XXX pix to send to complete strangers? What?

Keep it up please. You are making progress. So, as women, are we doomed? Doomed to a life of acceptance of these tendencies in men? Being alone or casual with people forever? Help me out here. I cannnot even go over this with any of my girlfriends as they all have troubling issues with men, and I dont want them to know. I'm embarrassed.

AlternateGray 07-02-2006 12:23 PM

"I am using all my might to refuse acceptance. I don't want it to be true. I love this man."

*Sigh* I'm telling you now... in my experience, and from what I've seen, you can accept the situation and forgive him, but if you do, you're setting yourself up for a long, painful relationship. He's just going to be more careful in the future.

And don't rationalize it. If he knows you're hooked, he's going to try a million different excuses, and you're going to want to believe all of them. It'll seem so easy.

But here's the truth. GOOD PEOPLE DON'T DO THIS TO THE PEOPLE THEY LOVE. If there was something intrinsically wrong with the relationship, a man who loves you will probably approach you about it instead of slapping his pic on the net and trolling for sex (at ten months?)

Good people cheat too, it's a fact. Anyone can screw up. But this isn't like he got drunk at a party, swapped spit, and things got out of hand. This was calculated. Don't forget it.

Just my opinion.


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