Tidbits
 

This is from last night. I originally stuck this in another thread for temporary storage, then thought I should start a thread for storing tidbits - little ideas that someone might eventually find a use for.

Feel free to use these ideas, or to add your own.

(I'm putting these in the Cellar instead of on my local hard drive because sometimes when I'm travelling I might want access.)

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Ignore this 1) He had hair as white as nuclear winter

2) Darn, I can't remember the second one. Something about... I can picture what I was seeing when I had the thought, but the thought escapes me. There were two guys sitting at the bar, and one of them was putting his arm around himself, from behind. Maybe I'll know in the morning.

Oh yeah, there was a third thing. I was eating peanuts at work and I swear that one of them was, except for it's size, an exact replica of the virgin Mary's left breast. Unfortunately I ate it. But you do believe me, don't you? (meaning me, tomorrow)

You idiot, that peanut was probably worth $30k, to the Golden Palace, on ebay.
Sigh... I guess I'll get a crappy birthday gift... again. sigh

Take LIVE tuna fish, and FEED 'em mayonnaise! Oh this is great. [speaks into tape recorder]

Night Shift?

I... think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

That's funny, because I was just cleaning the kitchen and thinking that mayonnaise looked like something oozing out of a serious burn.

So did the fish.

Real actual scholarship essay:

Because I get my work done, and I don't leave anything unfinished.

Real class satisfaction survey:

I didn't learn nothing from this class. I found it repetitive and redundant.

Real career aspiration essay:

I would love to get into the medical assassinating field. (Student used this word twice. Student's last name was not Kevorkian.)

Followed by another student who said:

I know it sounds weird, but I'd really love to sit in on an autopsy.

These are just from the past couple days, IRL, here at my job. Now, do you think my book will be hilarious or what?

I'm reviewing 3 grant proposals for Oklahoma State University (e.g. High-Throughput screening and evaluation of filamentous fungi for improved bioconversion enzyme efficiencies).

In the contact information section, I put that I work in the Department of Duplicate Redundancy.

it's the:
Department of Duplicate Redundancy Department

Yeah, I ran out of space.

I'm glad to see someone's paying attention.

Robert Bradley
Robert Cray
Robert Randolph
Robert Ward

calculating errors.


funny.

BigV - A hungry mind is an angry mind

by your feet and hands...