Pam's sister.
 

I don't know where to begin with this website. My name is Jessica, and I am the older sister of 'Pensive' Pam. I've spent half the day trying to figure out this site, and half the day trying to get Pam to submit me her password.

We (the family) have been trying our best with Pam. A lot of people are going through a tough time right now. Some have lost jobs, some have lost loved ones, some have severed relationships. My sister in no different except that she takes it to the extreme.

As her sister, I am shocked that she would open up to an internet community rather than her family, and her best friend and sister - me.
I read some of her posts with great trepidation. Mum will not be informed of what Pam has been doing, it would just upset her.

We are getting her help, and I and her family apologize for what has happened on here. She was not always like this. A few years ago, we were at Starbucks. A girl cut us in line, or so Pam thought. Pam grabbed her by the poneytail with one hand, and grabbed the girl's cell phone with the other and smashed it on the floor. I had to beg the police not to arrest her.

We will make an effort to ensure she does not return. And again, we apologize for the disturbance she has caused. I guess you guess just have to read about it. We have to live with it. Again, our aologies.

Jessica (if you really are who you say you are and not just another Pam ruse) how old is Pam? I imagined her to be late 20's or thirties.

I hope she can get the help she needs with the support of her family. We can't help her here.

This is tough for me because I don't want to sell her out, and I don't know you. But it breaks my heart that strangers may know more about my sister than I do. Pam is 22, the baby of the family. As for me, I am a little older at 29. Seriously, none of us can handle the drama at times. And no matter what happens, everything is a crisis with her. I'm just beginning to look at her posts, and it's the same shit she does in real life but just written down on here. I'm scared to death of what I will find. Last night she tore apart her room and refused to eat. She thinks people are against her. At the same time she can be a wonderful sister and person. She does charity work and that is the only thing that makes her happy she said. I'm sure I must come off a strange to you because I don't know you. But I guess this is therapy for me. I cannot always be there for her and some of her posts are starting to really worry me. This thing with her jumping in front of a train was posted on her myspace account last year. She is still here. A cry for attention? We don't know, and she won't tell. For some reason she manages to wear down her psychiatrists to the point where they simply ship her off to a collegue because they can't deal with her. Not sure what else to write.

Do yourself a favour mate. Don't bother reading it. It's just the same stuff over and over again. Sounds like you have enough to deal with in her real life without adding this to it.

I'm sure I speak for the community when I say we wish you well and hope you can find a way to keep her off internet forums. I don't think it would be very good for her mental health at all.

eta: Jessica, we appreciate honesty on this site, so thankyou for talking to us about this. I think it will help.

Thanks and sorry if I chewed your ear off. I looked at her profile, it appears that she has made 1 friend on here. A girl named DanaC+. Not sure what the significance of that is. It's just bizarre to read what she has posted here because she talks like that in real life. Thank you for responding. If you, or anyone knows what brought her to this site please let me know. It appears to be a global site based on what I could find on Wikipedia. Thanks.

You'd have to ask Pam what brought her here. It is a global site. I'm from Australia. Dana is in the UK. We have people from all over the place on this site, and in broad terms, there are a lot of very understanding people here, but everyone has their limits as you know, and Pam didn't take too long to find them with some.

Pop back and let us know how she's going - if she doesn't do so herself. And you're welcome. :)

Jessica:

I would like to invite you to establish your own login here, so you don't need to use Pam's. Also, to just read her posts, it is not necessary to login at all. You can read, but not post without logging in.

If you do create your own name here, you will be able to post, as you have, but you can do it as yourself. I think you would be pleasantly surprised by the amount of grown up, substantive connection there is here in this community. Pam's had a taste of it, you could too. It's true, we have our own share of bullshit and Pam's had a taste of that too. We're a package deal, but I assure you it's much more good than bad.

Or not, as Aliantha suggested, Pam's posts ranged from friendly to WTF? Regardless, we've a nice community here, you are welcome to join us, with or without Pam.

Last but not least, I hope the very best for you and for Pam, for your family. I understand how helpless and bewildered it feels to be in a position like yours. Pam's lucky to have a caring sister like you; friends like you matter. Good luck.

I'm not surprised by this; it's pretty classic. As a family, you may want to educate yourselves about personality disorders, and "Borderline Personality Disorder" in particular.

Like several others here, I do hope you're really her sister, and not merely the next move in the game.

Cmon.

Really?

Fun troll and all, but remember that pam is a man. A stock trader. A crazy one.

Thank you Jim ...

I remembered pharmaceutical rep which would explain all the drug reference posts he makes...

Oh yeah..that's right. Big sarge data mined him. Pharma rep, not stock trader.

Still,... What fun.

Still looking for information on her posts as I see more of what is coming through. Pam was a an intern for a large pharma company in college, so that is accurate. I have seen her posts on that site too, which is why we are concerned.

As far as her being a man, I would have to look into how that rumor got started. She did rub people the wrong way, so maybe someone did that to her. I honestly don't know. But that is news to all of us. The photo depicted is her, so I do not know why people would think else. I have to dig deeper I guess. Need to register my own account, and tend to Pam for now. Enjoy your night everyone.

Did you see the accusatory post in that other thread? PP almost slipped out of normal sister mode for a second...

Each user has the ability to specify a number of "Buddies". It doesn't really have any meaning beyond marking an association on the profile page. The person buddied does not have to respond in any way to the request. The + just means that the person is on her Buddy List (or friends list, or whatever they call it now).

Pardon me but your Freudian slip is showing LINK

same use of ! symbol in the top of this post, anger swimming just below the surface of the facade...

"DanaC+" shows up as a friend but there is no photo of her. I am hoping that this is not a girl named "Erica" who was Pam's love interest for while. I am also curious to the fact the Pam was removed from the site for a period of time yet was able to return.
I will send you a message on here with a user name that I will register tomorrow. That way you will know it is me. Goodnight.

Whether this is another stunt by Pam or it really is her sister, isn't it more appropriate to just not post if you think poorly of the thread?

Seriously, either way, the person behind these posts needs help. Even if it is just someone trolling, they are going way beyond the pale here.

I just feel sorry for this person. no matter who they are.

No one here is obliged to post a photograph.

if you log in under your own username, simply post to this (or some other thread) something on the order of "this is pam's sister and I have my own account now." There is no need to use private messaging.

As far as Pam having been disinvited from the site, yes, that's correct. She was placed on a temporary ban for violating the rules of the site ... which are pretty straightforward.

Good for you Ali! are you talking to me if so here is your response below if not disregard and have a nice day!

I am an adult and I do not need your help posting. BUT THANKS FOR YOUR OPINION :)

I just thought people might like to show a little bit of compassion.

I guess I was wrong, but not surprised.

This thing? http://cellar.org/images/icons/icon4.gif I know I'm not the most internet savvy, but it took me a few minutes to figure out where that icon was.

Nirvana, you may be on to something ...

nirvana might... might not...


Why not just treat each screen name as the individual they're trying to represent? or. give up?





what IF both voices are coming from the same person? so?

isn't that what you're implying? and that therefore they need to be treated as one?

ok,,, what3ever.

or take it at face value.

I'm actually trying to find the old thread where she/he was outed.
If its Pam's sister .. I'd react one way. If it's pam, I'll block her until she is banned permanently.

here is one
and here is another.

Update: Thank you Wolf for your compassion. Pam was admitted last night to the ER and test were being performed.

They have found a growth/tumor on her pituatary gland and are running more tests. For now, I still have her laptop. If I open an account on her laptop will it nullify her account? Not sure what the rules are and when/if she comes back I don't want to further upset her more than she is. I am exhausted as you can imagine.

I will return back to my own home sometimes tomorrow or Wednesday, but for now it is best I stay near her and family. Thanks, and Happy Halloween.

Hi Jessica

It doesn't matter from which computer you establish a new account here, one laptop is as good as another. The accounts live on the cellar, not on the laptop. What you do on the laptop, like establish another account for yourself, doesn't affect what happens to the other account on the cellar. I don't know how to keep from upsetting Pam, but you're not likely to mess up her account.

Good to hear that Pam's getting some help, that sounds very serious. Hang in there.

Well I appreciate the kind message. Truth be told I have gone thru a lot of her posts. I have also seen responses. Your responses have not always been positive towards her. I guess it does not matter at more important things have been pushed to the forefront. I guess I will be on here intermitenly today while I wait for a response from Wolf. In the meantime I am on stand by at a Starbucks waiting to get a call when/if to pick her up.

we are supposed to go to a Halloween party tonight and I hope we can still go but it does not look likely at this point. The whole thing is just downright disheartening. Enjoy your day.

I like the guilt trip at the end of your post. "Enjoy your day. I hope you're happy that you've ruined my life. I mean her life"

the red part is where she(he) gives away that it's actually her(him) posting. feels kind of familiar, huh? I mean... you can play a role, but at some point, you're going to shine through the facade.

Don't lose hope Aliantha. There are some compassionate people out there and Pam has received some nice private emails.

Remember that when you place darkenss and light together in a room, the light will aways win. Check back later. Peace.

I'm going off the rails on a crazy train ...

Pituitary tumor, go to a halloween party, whatever.

I have no idea what it is I'm supposed to respond to.

And I'm calling shennanigans on an ER diagnosing anything ... particularly what would most likely be a microtumor of some rarity ... in the midst of what presented like a behavioral emergency. ERs stabilize and dispo ... admit or discharge. Follow up with your regular doctor sometime within the next week ... Nuts die in ERs of heart attacks because they are known to be nuts, treated as nuts, and frank symptoms get ignored. ER doctors treat horses, not zebras.

I call double-secret probation for PP and her wicked witch of a passive aggressive sister!

SO THERE!

Nnyah!

what a fukking load of bullshit today.

My bullshit detector is ringing so loud it's disturbing the neighbours...

We told you before we let it back in that if you wanted a pet troll for Halloween, you would have to take care of it. It would have to be fed, trained, and cleaned up after. But NOOOOOOOOO, you fed it then let it run around loose to crap all over the place. Adding insult to injury, you've made a lackluster attempt to clean up after it. There'll be no more Cellar pets for you.

*skulks away*

You were on her friend's list so I am a bit mystified by your last two comments about her. I was going to join, but not am a bit hesitant after seeing some of the hate. Some thought is going to be required I suppose. I would also need a user name, and at the moment can not think of one.

Ghostly Tampon?

brooding brandy, contemplative carla, meditative missy, musing milly, pondering priscilla, reflective Rachael, ruminative rhianne

Its a guy F3

it's not that challenging of a task.

Terrifying Terry?

So, wait? My sister has been a guy for 22 years? Sorry, she's a chick. That rumor is about 3 years old. Do you believe what someone says on the internet? Yes, and the Easter Bunny delivers eggs, and Santa exists. Sorry but you are way off base. We have a good laugh everytime someone falls for that rumor. But then again, maybe we had a hand in it? Don't be so stupid. LOOL!! Yes, Pam is Paul from CA, Jay, John the stockbroker, and many other people. Hell, she might even be MTP and Wolf. If you think she a dude, you surely got trolled. Not by her, not by me. By a guy who was jealous of her and started the rumor. Perhaps you?

Welcome to the Cellar, Jessica.

How about just Jessica?

It's mesmerising. Tonally, completely different. Structurally, identical.

S/he's good I'll give 'em that.

Dana, I think you've fallen off your surfboard.

Read above you. Yes, we have the same blood in us so certain similarities may come out. And yes, we are both 'she.' It's actually pretty darn funny to have people believe the S/he thing. LOOOLLL!!

Stucturally I don't think I post anything like her. Pam's writing is more fragmented. She also doesn't use contractions most of the time which irritates me when she emails or writes on Facebook. Also, I do not use semicolons. Nor do I 'page break' after 3 of 4 sentences. I am a court reporter so I pay a lot of attention to words and structure. In fact Pam would have started a new paragraph by now. Glad you are concerned for her well being.

That sounds like an interesting occupation. Have you considered signing up for your own cellar account? It's a little distracting having two people post under the same user name. (Kind of like the Anonymoos).

Yes I am. However I am typing from Pam's laptop with the same wireless IP address. I am not sure if it is allowed, or if it will nullify her account. I have inquired about this to Wolf (I believe), and am waiting to hear back. We did have a joint account on another site, and when she got banned, it knocked me out as well.
Sorry for the confusion, and I still need to come up with a user name. Personally the internet blogging thing is not my cup of tea and would only be used to keep an eye on Pam. I can't build a brand like her anyway. But I can be a responsible older sister.

:D

That's not what I meant by structure.


@lol @ Pierce. I hadn't spotted that :P

I think what BigV said is accurate.

I realize there's some hostility in the room, but don't hold it against us - it's the "once-bitten, twice shy," effect.

That's exactly what I was trying to show. Trying to write like her but unfortunately you didn't get it. Hope you do now. Happy Halloween.

I'm not so sure Jessica isn't Jessica. In reading letters from my uncle I would often get several paragraphs into them before I realized the letter was not from my father. I think a lot of language styles are similar within a family. My sister writes a lot like I do.

And as for the emotional blackmail/ guilt tripping that certainly runs in families.

I'm willing to believe Jessica's story for now.

Your father is your uncle? That explains a lot, feets.

I guess so. It was just the coded insult to Nirvana that was identical structurally to one of Pam's just delivered in a different style and tone. Implication that she's a man, and suggestion that she is attacking Pam because she is jealous.

I don't believe this. But I am also open to the possibility that I am wrong. I think I will step away from this particular conversation. Either I'm right and this is Pam in which case I don't want to play the game, or I am wrong, and this is genuinely Pam's sister, in which case anything further i have to say would likely be insulting and unjust

.

Either way, I probably shouldn't participate for now :p

Care to elaborate? - Jessica
Care to elaboreate??? - Pam

See the difference??

Oh, wait, 2 question marks. Now what?

I dont mean the language or grammar. I mean the way in which emotional blackmail and insults are structured, and where they appear in a post. The language alters. The mood alters. But the basic structure remains.



[eta] i was stepping away wasn't I? :P This time I really am.

Jessica, pay me no heed if you are who you say you are. I will say no more on it.