Interesting new policy at the post office
 

New rules for packages now?

I sent a package overseas via US post office yesterday. One of the items was a 3.3 oz bottle of purfume. It was not allowed in the package.

At the counter of a very hot and crowded post office.....

Clerk: Any bullets, guns, knives, rockets, biological agents, nuclear material, shoebombs, broken glass, gasoline, toenail clippers, boxcutters, tweezers, ...(takes a breath)..lighters, sharpend pencils, rolled up newspapers, scary holloween masks, staples, thick rubber bands, combs over 8" long.........or purfume going into this package?
Slang: Ummm......yeah (grabs the purfume)
Clerk: YOU CANT PUT THAT INTO THE PACKAGE!
Slang: Oh. Am I under arrest or something?
Clerk: What are you thinking trying to send something like that in a package. Jesus Christ!
Slang: Yeah, I guess I just wasn't thinking. (looking down at the floor)
Clerk: (stares at me while processing the shipment documentation)

This is getting just a bit ridiculous, but you can't argue with the postal workers or they might just....well, go postal.

Perfume?
What's it gonna' do?

I lie about what goes into my postal packages all the time.

Pretty soon we won't be able to ship anything. Jeez.

You'll have to put the perfume in a balloon up your ass.

Apparently, people were shipping perfume in large quantities to the Middle East, and that just pissed them off. Something about how they enjoyed the way their camels smelled, and we should, too.

Easy solution: just lie.

That sucks.

No, it stinks.

Hey, the post office never promised you a rose garden...

That too. :)

Clerk: Any bullets, guns, knives, rockets, biological agents, nuclear material, shoebombs, broken glass, gasoline, toenail clippers, boxcutters, tweezers, ...(takes a breath)..lighters, sharpend pencils, rolled up newspapers, scary holloween masks, staples, thick rubber bands, combs over 8" long.........or a balloon full of perfume up your ass?
Slang: Damn!! How'd you know?
Clerk: I work for the post office and we know everything....except where your missing mail went.

The camelipstick sailed through. Go figure.

From jail......

Convict: What you in for bitch?
Slang: Well, I had some purfume up----ah....murder.

"...and creating a nuisance"

Probably flag perfume because of the flammable liquid thing. :flamer: