Just reaching out because life is very rough right now
 

I just need to tell someone. I really need to walk to a friend's house and let loose but I can't because coronavirus and I can't because I don't have many friends of that sort because I'm just not that type of person. My one friend who I really could talk to is completely uncontactable right now, my other main option is stereotypical baby-boomer re cv (won't practice social distancing or preventative hygiene) but also sympathizes by telling me how things could be worse and how bad their life is. As a "head up, plow on" kind of a person, if/when I do finally admit things are getting to me, this is unhelpful at best. They mean well but.... And the third person has their own battle and is travelling out of town to deal with it. I don't want to burden my other friends via messaging platforms any more. They have enough stresses of their own already and when a friend reaches out in that way mostly it just makes you feel helpless and I certainly don't want to do that to anyone -I want to still be friends when all this is over, not awkward acquaintances.

OK, I think I'm done. It's rough, is all. thanks very much, you've been a lovely audience, I'll see you all same place next crisis.

I see your crisis and understand it's a damn poor time for it. I'm sorry. :(

I have a feeling there are a lot of people hurting more than they're willing to admit right now. one because they don't want to dump any more negative vibes on friends, and two because they don't want to be seen as a whiner like a kid with a skinned knee when a Tornado is ripping the roof off.

There are a fortunate few who have the Cellar to vent frustrations and pain to understanding friends.

Sorry, anon. I hope things ease up soon.

Sorry to read this anon. You know your Cellar pals are here for you and you’ve done the right thing in letting us know how you feel. Life is shit at time, eh? Hang in there.


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Could be worse. You could have made a typo in the thread topic and been unable to edit it.

Seriously though, hug. Hhhuuuuugggg.

But a moderator can fix that. If only we could also provide more significant help.


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Well now it's not nearly as funny....

Anon, I'm sorry life's kind of a shit sandwich right now. :hug:

Did you know you can get so down that you just can't laugh any more and comments like this are just another slap, even though you know they shouldn't be

thanks. :)

being here and being kind is significant.

You know I do. Here's the thing. Maybe... You want to be sad right now. And if you do, then you might take what was clearly a friendly shot in the arm and reverse it to make me feel bad too. The emotion (pain body) that is in control will try to generate more of itself so it can survive.

You're not your depression. You see it. You've identified it. You hear the thoughts. You're not the thoughts. You're just a splinter of life like me and all these other people that care about you. The same.

Focus your attention on what's within 5 minutes and 5 meters for most of your day. Take time daily or weekly to make your plan, and then set it aside until the next step. Meanwhile give the present step your full attention. Respect it even if it's mundane.

Repetitive thought paths will erode a track to sadville. The more you think them, the more you think them. Take control of what you think about.


I'm sorry if I am not helping. This is how I deal. I am not my grief. I am not my regret. I don't identify with the emotion. I feel it., look at it, and it fades. Comes back strong at times, but it's not to be dwelt upon. If you go down that hole, it starts to become attractive.

I am sorry to preach. And I'm probably being insensitive, but I want to try to help you keep your chin up. Regardless, these kind of days don't last. You will.

This may or may not be helpful but when I'm in that place you are in, an alternative is to find someone in the same or worse shape and lend a hand. It's not so much a fix but it does give you a chance to take your mind off it for a little while.

Nah, exactly as funny.

Life is like toilet paper, you're on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. :o

I like this, Beestie.

I have found comfort, perspective, and distraction with the the same strategy. I try to remember this tool is always available at the top of my kit.

The Cellar. Where you can get a hug and still practice social distancing.

That is bery, bery gut

It was, actually.

Concur.

Suddenly I have a craving for blackberry yogurt.

berry berry gut would be a good slogan for a probiotic yogurt

Did Saturday Night Live play across the pond back then? Did ITV, Channel 4, etc exist back then?

We had ITV by then - but no Ch4 and no Saturday Night Live :P

Then you would not appreciate Roseanne Roseannadanna or Baba Wawa. Never mind.

Is it safe to eat yogurt that just got out of jail?

I completely understand your problem. It seems like a crisis.
I wish you good luck

I am so sorry anonymous :(

My depression is really hammering me right now. Everything is overwhelming, even the tiniest things and I'm really a very capable person, so seeing that is depressing in itself. I'm making myself do them anyway, but it's not making me feel any better, more accomplished or more capable. And I'm barely touching the surface compared to what needs to be done. Still pressing on though. Just needed to say it to confirm it to myself.

You know the score. Every little thing is overwhelming because you're at your limit. There's a big, daunting to-do list but you struggle to get out of bed-- how could you ever tackle it all? And you also know that your limit fluctuates, that you'll be at a higher capacity at some point in the future, and that you can't force yourself to get there, it will just happen. Things go in cycles. While you're on the downswing, it doesn't help to beat yourself up-- and you know this, but it's just the way things are right now. Batten down the hatches and try to take small, positive steps each day, like remembering to drink enough water and trying to get enough sleep. Exercise, if you can. Even a little bit helps.

Good luck, it's rough. I know.

Flint gets it. Be strong.

Wise words, Flint.

I'm still here for you, as we all are. Flint says good things. Be gentle with yourself and just do what you can without berating yourself for not doing more.
This will pass.

Sent by Magick. [emoji3314]

Having battled with clinical depression for decades, I can relate. Barely touching the surface of what needs to be done is a popular refrain when I'm in it.



It's so fucking realistic, depression, it feels like it's always been dark, will always be dark, and that light never existed. Saying it will pass or it's just a storm in your brain may help, but it feels more like fake it 'til you make it. The realism of the depth precludes any chance at believing it will get better, but it actually will get better. Remember that.


It's like an existential flu - hunker down until it passes.

From one so-called capable person to another, you're not alone. I also know those words don't really help us capable people, because the only thing that matters is our internal opinion of how we're doing... but it's all I've got right now. Sometimes the stuff just has to wait.

Seconded.

One thing I try to remind myself when i am in the midst of it, once I find myself ruminating in circles is that 'this is the wrong time to try to fix/sort out any major issues or lifestyle changes'. Itry to give myself permission to do the minimum and that be okay - it's like: okay, I am big and daft enough to deal with this stuff so why is it so hard? Because it just is right now. Right now in this moment, successfully getting dressed and having a wash is an achievement. This is what i am capable of right now and that is not a reflection of my overall capabilities.

I wouldn't beat myself up as a failure if I had a torn ligament and wasn't up to my usual level of walking. For some reason, just the way my brain works, every so often (very much on a cycle) I become temporarily less competent and able on basic shit and thats fine.

I try to remind myself of that every so often - I dont always listen to myself but sometimes it seems to help.

Yup same with me...... Its very sad :(

Im so sorry anonymous :(

OP: I do not know you and read a bit but I spent 10 miserable yrs in a clnical depression and it was a sluggish thyroid that was undetected by docs for 10 yrs...finally a SMART old time D.O. I saw knew right away and fixed me...that was in 2002... I have not been depressed in 18 yrs now. Live in chronic pain from OA but manage it and laugh when I can. j