yes it was, hon. Bruce got it.

In that case, shall I make you a bloody mary dear?

Budweiser will suffice. And another serving of humor,please, I need a giggle.

http://www.lifeisajoke.com/Pictures/hellsmostwanted.jpg

Man, I've got at least a dozen on this list.

This isn't a judgement call on the intelligence of that banner... but Sports Fans?

That's what I'm saying. They got me on being a sports fan. I don't remember that part of the bible, but sheese, they are opening the doors to lots of new people in Hell.

Who ever made that sign is a hypocrite.

From the Armstrong and Miller Show. The first one made me think of LJ....Cock!

I can recommend the rest in the menu for a giggle too :) Particularly 'Teenage Girls'

Where did you get that from DanaC? So nice the palm lounge theme and the stiff upper-lip humour, smells like Michael Palin. Excellent. Thank you.

It's the Armstrong and Miller Show (BBC) Those are two of their regular characters. That was off youtube:)

New Living Will Form

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Martini ______a Margarita ____ __ a Scotch and soda ______a Bloody Mary ______a Gin and Tonic _______a Glass of Chardonnay ______a Steak ______Lobster or crab legs ______The remote control ______a bowl of ice cream ______The sports page ______Chocolate or ______Sex

It should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: ___________________________ Date: ___________________________

NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy place PLEASE pass it on!

Ok, I printed out three of those wills, will sign and notarize and give a copy to the hospital, my oncologist and my mother.

do you think it'll fly?

A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is holding a nickel. After a few minutes in the store, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickel and starts panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive and serious-looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, 'I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?'
No,' the woman replied. 'Divorce attorney.'

Photo on the Night Stand


After a long night of making love,
the guy notices a photo of another man,
on the woman's nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.

Is this your husband?"
he nervously asks.

"No, silly,"
she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?"
he continues.

"No, not at all,"
she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?"
he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!"
she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?"
he demands.

She whispers in his ear

"That's me before the surgery."