What is Love?
 

I'm reading 'A Road Less Traveled' By M Scott Peck

He has a very different definition of love than I've ever come across. It's a very pragmatic definition, and I think it makes sense.

from the wiki page:

(bold mine)

This is a quote by jinx during a recent chat conversation where we were discussing my occasionally loose grip on reality:

that statement rang a bell in my head. a loud one.

I think I DO get caught up in the fantasy of 'true love' and 'destiny', when in actuality, real love is what you DO, not what you think, hope, wish, or attest. SAYING you love someone ....and meaning it is all well and good, and can make the other person feel good about themselves for as long as they believe it....but that belief has to end at some point if your actions are not in agreement with these attestations.... The lovey dovey affection part of love (cathexis)will only last for so long. Real love abides in the DOING. The actions you take to share yourself with your partner, the work you do in paying attention to their spiritual growth, and the loving acts you perform for them and for others.... THAT is love. That is HOW to love someone.


Is it serendipity that I read the above quoted passage mere hours after that statement by jinx?


This is a really really good book. I'm only halfway through it, but I already want to own a copy. It reads a little bit like a text book in places, so I have to slow down and re read some paragraphs, and be careful not to zone if I am getting sleepy... but this kind of perspective can change how you see the things you do, and thus WHAT you do going forward. ...and I'm all about change right now.

In English the word 'love' is overloaded. Depending on context it can mean many different things. The greeks had three different words, and the concepts you describe above fit (sort of) with the Greek words eros, agape, and philia.

I think this overuse of the word 'love' is one of the (admittedly many) reasons that we have so much trouble with long-term relationships in our society.

It's great to have that feeling of love at the beginning of a relationship, but if you don't have that dedication to put another's welfare equal-to or above your own, then the relationship will not stand.

The trick it to find the person for whom you feel the romantic attraction and with whom you also are compatible enough that you are willing to do the work of love.

Well said Pete.
...and feels the same for you. Its gotta be a two way street.

I strongly feel that once the horny, dewey-eyed, butterflies-in-the-stomach stage wears off, and it does, love is a choice. The choice to stay with a person, to consider how they feel about what you do, to work on the partnership. It doesn't sound very romantic, but surely choosing loving actions is far more romantic than simply being swept along by the vertigo of falling-in-love-ness?

Love is a decision. A decision that regardless of the worldly outlook of all evil, that you will act upon your most enlightened instinct to do the right thing.

Baby Don't Hurt Me.

and if she doesn't like you doing the right thing it is your solemn duty to make her see it that way until death or restraining order do you part

[/wrongthread]

(where's the OSHA compliant psychostalker soulwash? I've been contaminated!)

the monsters loose, honestly dude I don't think you have a clue what true love is....

JBKlyde is craaaaaaaaaaazy

monster ain't a smart man, but monster knows what love is, jenneh.

snort!

not really addressing the thread, I was thinking about this, and it seems like something we learn in life is the person who loves more has less power in the relationship

and it is up to the person with more power to never take advantage of that.

Love is what a woman makes when a man fucks her.

Yes, I know. I am an fucking phallocrat.

;)

Discussed here:

The one who loves less is in control of the relationship

Crystallized here:

"like riding in the trunk"

fuckin fact.

Or that the person that is loved more is more loveable for some reason. And thus holds more 'power'.
And all the shades of grey between.

Being conscious of your power and respecting it is a sort of 'Grace' I agree.