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-   -   Just reaching out because life is very rough right now (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=35127)

anonymous 05-15-2020 04:45 PM

Just reaching out because life is very rough right now
 
I just need to tell someone. I really need to walk to a friend's house and let loose but I can't because coronavirus and I can't because I don't have many friends of that sort because I'm just not that type of person. My one friend who I really could talk to is completely uncontactable right now, my other main option is stereotypical baby-boomer re cv (won't practice social distancing or preventative hygiene) but also sympathizes by telling me how things could be worse and how bad their life is. As a "head up, plow on" kind of a person, if/when I do finally admit things are getting to me, this is unhelpful at best. They mean well but.... And the third person has their own battle and is travelling out of town to deal with it. I don't want to burden my other friends via messaging platforms any more. They have enough stresses of their own already and when a friend reaches out in that way mostly it just makes you feel helpless and I certainly don't want to do that to anyone -I want to still be friends when all this is over, not awkward acquaintances.

OK, I think I'm done. It's rough, is all. thanks very much, you've been a lovely audience, I'll see you all same place next crisis.

Griff 05-15-2020 04:57 PM

I see your crisis and understand it's a damn poor time for it. I'm sorry. :(

xoxoxoBruce 05-15-2020 09:58 PM

I have a feeling there are a lot of people hurting more than they're willing to admit right now. one because they don't want to dump any more negative vibes on friends, and two because they don't want to be seen as a whiner like a kid with a skinned knee when a Tornado is ripping the roof off.

There are a fortunate few who have the Cellar to vent frustrations and pain to understanding friends.

Clodfobble 05-15-2020 10:46 PM

Sorry, anon. I hope things ease up soon.

limey 05-16-2020 03:51 AM

Sorry to read this anon. You know your Cellar pals are here for you and you’ve done the right thing in letting us know how you feel. Life is shit at time, eh? Hang in there.


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lumberjim 05-16-2020 06:00 AM

Could be worse. You could have made a typo in the thread topic and been unable to edit it.

Seriously though, hug. Hhhuuuuugggg.

limey 05-16-2020 06:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim (Post 1052670)
Could be worse. You could have made a typo in the thread topic and been unable to edit it.

Seriously though, hug. Hhhuuuuugggg.


But a moderator can fix that. If only we could also provide more significant help.


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lumberjim 05-16-2020 06:20 AM

Well now it's not nearly as funny....

glatt 05-16-2020 10:36 AM

Anon, I'm sorry life's kind of a shit sandwich right now. :hug:

anonymous 05-16-2020 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim (Post 1052670)
Could be worse. You could have made a typo in the thread topic and been unable to edit it.

Did you know you can get so down that you just can't laugh any more and comments like this are just another slap, even though you know they shouldn't be

Quote:

Originally Posted by limey (Post 1052671)
But a moderator can fix that. If only we could also provide more significant help.

thanks. :)

being here and being kind is significant.

lumberjim 05-16-2020 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anonymous (Post 1052690)
Did you know you can get so down that you just can't laugh any more and comments like this are just another slap, even though you know they shouldn't be







thanks. :)



being here and being kind is significant.

You know I do. Here's the thing. Maybe... You want to be sad right now. And if you do, then you might take what was clearly a friendly shot in the arm and reverse it to make me feel bad too. The emotion (pain body) that is in control will try to generate more of itself so it can survive.

You're not your depression. You see it. You've identified it. You hear the thoughts. You're not the thoughts. You're just a splinter of life like me and all these other people that care about you. The same.

Focus your attention on what's within 5 minutes and 5 meters for most of your day. Take time daily or weekly to make your plan, and then set it aside until the next step. Meanwhile give the present step your full attention. Respect it even if it's mundane.

Repetitive thought paths will erode a track to sadville. The more you think them, the more you think them. Take control of what you think about.


I'm sorry if I am not helping. This is how I deal. I am not my grief. I am not my regret. I don't identify with the emotion. I feel it., look at it, and it fades. Comes back strong at times, but it's not to be dwelt upon. If you go down that hole, it starts to become attractive.

I am sorry to preach. And I'm probably being insensitive, but I want to try to help you keep your chin up. Regardless, these kind of days don't last. You will.

Beestie 05-16-2020 01:41 PM

This may or may not be helpful but when I'm in that place you are in, an alternative is to find someone in the same or worse shape and lend a hand. It's not so much a fix but it does give you a chance to take your mind off it for a little while.

BigV 05-16-2020 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim (Post 1052672)
Well now it's not nearly as funny....

Nah, exactly as funny.

xoxoxoBruce 05-16-2020 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 1052682)
Anon, I'm sorry life's kind of a shit sandwich right now. :hug:

Life is like toilet paper, you're on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. :o

BigV 05-17-2020 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie (Post 1052694)
This may or may not be helpful but when I'm in that place you are in, an alternative is to find someone in the same or worse shape and lend a hand. It's not so much a fix but it does give you a chance to take your mind off it for a little while.

I like this, Beestie.

I have found comfort, perspective, and distraction with the the same strategy. I try to remember this tool is always available at the top of my kit.


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