1/26/2003: Fake guard
 

http://cellar.org/2003/brazilguard.jpg

I'm late today so I won't feel bad about having nothing much to say about this. This was a fake prison guard in Brazil, where apparently they don't have enough guards to watch prisoners. I don't have any notes on it but I think he was the only guard watching a good number of prisoners, from a tower.

He's probably just as attentive as the real thing. And you don't have to pay him benefits.

Don't be so sure...they're probably unionized.

If he wasn't deceased, they could commission Duane Hanson to do some much better quality guards. His works look real...scary real, as in, if you saw one move you'd piss yourself, but unless you know they're sculptures, you'd wonder why they aren't moving. We have a couple of them in our two major art museums here in KC, and both of them are guards...

And the other one...(took me awhile to find a picture of it).

I wonder how many of the 170,000 Homeland Security employees we're paying fit this profile.

Having done a bit more "research", I am chagrined to report that the first picture that I sent here is *not* of a museum guard, but rather a car salesman. The display location in the Kemper Museum of Art makes it look as though the subject is scrutinizing people as they come in the main entrance, and having been around the older, uniformed guard sculpture in the Nelson-Atkins Museum for years, I think I just sort of drew the incorrect conclusion.

This is why no one asks me my opinion of art...I'm a moron.

Meanwhile, the crops around there are being decimated with no scarecrows to protect them :rolleyes:

I'd be more afraid of the used car salesman statue! :eek:

Well if I was a prisoner I would be convinced ... he just looks so ......... ?