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-   -   What's the Worst Movie You've Ever Seen? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=6969)

Vindwyn 10-09-2004 01:00 AM

What's the Worst Movie You've Ever Seen?
 
I'm sure this has been repeated before, but I'm new, so I didn't get to see the results.

In my opinion, the worst movie ever is Drop Dead Gorgeous. For those of you who have been lucky enough not to see it, let me give you a quick synopsis. A very "country" town has an annual beauty pageant. The winner of the pageant can compete at the state level, and then at the national level if she wins that. Kirstie Alley plays the mother who would do anything to see her daughter win the pageant. The two conspire and come up with an evil plan. This includes shooting one girl's potential boyfriend in the head. They also blow up the tractor another competitor is riding on. Finally, a huge beam falls on yet another candidate who is on stage.

Of course, Kirstie Alley's daughter wins the pageant, but, as she is riding on a float in the parade, the float catches on fire and she dies. Bad karma, eh? The float being super-flammable had something to do with Kirstie Alley having ordered it from Mexico.

Soooo...the girl whose potential boyfriend was killed ends up receiving the local title after the other girl's death. She competes at the state level and wins because all of the other contestants end up with food poisoning. So, finally, the poor girl makes it to the national contest...only to learn that it has been discontinued. The sponsor is bankrupt or some such.

This movie SUCKED. I've see bad movies, but this reached levels previously unheard of.

With that said, what is the worst movie that you ever saw and ended up watching the whole thing anyway?

wolf 10-09-2004 01:34 AM

I have a vast collection of incredibly bad movies I've seen all the way through.

A few highlights from my personal video stash:

Percy: British Comedy from the early 70s about the first successful penis transplant.

The Stuff: A tasty desert takes over the world. Michael Moriarity and Paul Sorvino were cast for Law and Order despite their appearances in this film. Garrett Morris obviously needed to pay the drug bill that month.

Mars Needs Women: Classic 60s SciFi romp. The title really gives away the plot, though. I love the scene at the planetarium where the tape breaks and Tommy Kirk gives the lecture about Mars. Why didn't Yvonne Craig catch on to his nefarious plans then??

Santa Claus vs. the Martians: Mere words can not express the badness

Edit to add: for a worst double feature, you can't beat The Abominable Dr. Phibes and Dr. Phibes Rises Again

Trilby 10-09-2004 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf
Santa Claus vs. the Martians: Mere words can not express the badness

Santa Claus Vs the Martians was saved by MST3K---HILARIOUS!

melidasaur 10-09-2004 09:28 AM

My vote is for Sleepaway Camp. When my friend told me about this movie, i thought she was making it up. She wasn't. It's about this camp where everyone gets killed and they are being killed by a girl who ends up having a penis at the end... www.sleepawaycampmovies.com - yes, there is more than one sleepaway camp movie. In 2 & 3, the penis is gone but the killing continues.

It's a horrible movie, but if you watch it with some good friends who have good senses of humor, it is a GREAT laugh!

lookout123 10-09-2004 10:13 AM

passenger 57. *shudder*

Clodfobble 10-09-2004 10:54 AM

Never Been Kissed.

The movie whose moral is, "It's never too late to be popular with the in-crowd. Keep trying!" UGH.

lookout123 10-09-2004 11:18 AM

About Schmidt

Kathy Bates nude... :greenface

wolf 10-09-2004 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna
Santa Claus Vs the Martians was saved by MST3K---HILARIOUS!

Since I am truly fond of the genre of bad SciFi movies of the 50s and 60s ... there are many films that were done by MST3K that I saw beforehand. I had clean copies of The Brain The Wouldn't Die and War of the Colossal Beast.

For example, I was very disappointed by MST3K the movie, because I knew without checking that scenes were deleted from This Island Earth (which is actually not a suck-movie) to fit what was probably a studio designated running time.

I really LIKE that scene with the cat. It's even a plot point ...

vsp 10-09-2004 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf
Percy: British Comedy from the early 70s about the first successful penis transplant.

Edit to add: for a worst double feature, you can't beat The Abominable Dr. Phibes and Dr. Phibes Rises Again

I saw a DVD of Percy a month or two ago at a flea market. Passed on it.

The Phibes movies are high camp just for Price's relentless scenery-chewing.

Worst I've seen in many a year: Superstar. My wife talked me into watching this with her, and there was one (1) laugh in the entire film, based around a gratuitous f-bomb that came out of nowhere.

That dethroned Spy Hard (which couldn't even be saved by the casting of Andy Griffith as an insane Middle Eastern dictator) as my all-time stinker comedy.

I have not had the heart to watch Baby Geniuses, but the fact that they actually made a sequel sends a chill down my spine.

BrianR 10-09-2004 03:07 PM

Gigli and Cool World. I'm still going to counselling for those two.

Griff 10-09-2004 08:01 PM

Broken Arrow- Look just because you are Travolta and Woo and it is easy to raise money for a movie, you don't necessarily have to make the film.

wolf 10-09-2004 08:10 PM

Battlefield Earth. Just because you're a scientologist doesn't mean you have to make a movie out of the master's book.

footfootfoot 10-09-2004 11:23 PM

I had to walk out of a movie with Kevin Kline (sp?) where he was supposed to have a french accent. His accent careened wildly from french to bronx to german. It was so distracting I had to walk out after about fifteen minutes. I think it was "French Kiss" or something like that.

You'd think that if they had the coin to pay him and Meg Ryan, they could come up with the scratch for an accent coach.

I thought he was great in "A fish called wanda",

smoothmoniker 10-10-2004 08:42 AM

The Wind and the Lion.

You should really see this movie, if for no other reason than to hear Sean Connery play the Khalif of Saudia Arabia with a scottish brogue.

Elspode 10-10-2004 10:49 AM

"Firebirds" with Nicholas Cage and some other people. *The Worst (tm)* dialogue ever written.


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