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-   -   I'm gonna be soooooooo rich (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=14220)

xoxoxoBruce 05-19-2007 03:34 PM

I'm gonna be soooooooo rich
 
I got a letter today from, Michelle Swan, 837 Sylvan Drive, Battle Creek Michigan, 49017. Actually it's a 3 page letter, the first page being written by a retired lawyer (no name) saying it's legal(several times) and he made OVER $800k in his first attempt and $2,344,178 on the second try.

Page 2 starts out with poor Bill Hollman having his car repo'd and unemployment run out in Oct, then taking the family on a 10 day cruise in January and buying a new Caddy in February. Oh, and now he's building a second home in VA. Well damn, there's proof right there.

Further down page 2 the claim, "This is not a chain letter", and a caution to follow the instructions exactly.

1- Send $1 to;
Ken Plonski, 2020 S.Mission, #147, Mt pleasant, MI 48858
Ana Lopaz, 1303 Sulross St, #2131, Houston, TX, 77006
Jester P Leary, 12641 Magnolia Dr, Moreno, CA, 92555
Michael Sailor, 23001 Sweetspire Ct, Elkheart, In, 46514
Merav Landsman, 217 Weymouth Ct, San-Ramon, CA, 94583
Robert A Whipple, 4226 4th St.S., St. Petersburg, FL, 33705-4501
And of course Ms Swan that sent the letter

2-Then I plonk Plonkski and add my name to the list

3- Make 200 copies of all three pages of this letter.

4-Purchase a mailing list of 200 names from DATAFAX for $40, making sure I ask for a list of 200 OPPORTUNITY SEEKERS. For a couple bucks more they'll print the list on mailing labels.

5-Get 200 envelopes (walmart recommended), stuff the letters, buy and stick stamps.

6-Mail 'em and in 20 to 90 days you'll get over $800k at a 7.5% response rate.
Again it says its not a chain letter and its legal, referring me to Title 18, sec 1302 & 1342 of the US postal and lottery laws.

The third page tells me how much money for nothin' I'll be reaping and tips like, get an electric letter opener and keep calm. Keep your day job until you finish the second mailing, give 10% to charity, save 10%, set 10% aside for the expenses of your next mailing, 20% for bills(lawyers bills?), 30% for taxes and 20% for fun.

then more testimonials by, J. Holts, S. Frisch, C.Hoffman and D.Bradzon.
It closes with;

We will invest in lotteries, enter sweepstakes, clip coupons, etc. We need to invest in one another. Maybe you are not in need of money - then do it for someone else... a neighbor, college student, etc. Let's help each other achieve our dreams and secure our future.

Well now, if you don't have goose bumps after that, you must be an anti-American terrorist.

btw, if you live near any of the people listed, stop by and share their wealth.

Griff 05-19-2007 05:32 PM

Dude, I'm totally swinginging by Michigan next week. If you want I'll handle all the cellar cash. ;)

xoxoxoBruce 05-19-2007 09:28 PM

Sure, tell Plonski and Swan, I sent ya.

Urbane Guerrilla 05-20-2007 03:47 AM

:biglaugha :rotflol: :spam1:

:f167: solely because I think Scotland is ancestrally cool, on my mother's side.

And a rebus: :f93: oh :f93: .

xoxoxoBruce 05-20-2007 01:34 PM

I don't know if it qualifies as spam, because it came in the mail.

Oh, do you mean spam because it's spelled out here?
Should I have added, For entertainment only, only an asshole would get involved in this?

skysidhe 05-20-2007 02:07 PM

I have adversion to phrases like....'going to' and 'trust me'

The only info needed is 'how much' and 'for how long'


lol ( not directed at anyone...just men in general)

xoxoxoBruce 05-20-2007 07:18 PM

Uh, that letter was sent to me by a women. Are you telling me I should trust her?

HungLikeJesus 05-20-2007 09:59 PM

xoB - does that mean that you're an "OPPORTUNITY SEEKER"? Or how else did you get on the mailing list?

Rexmons 05-21-2007 08:49 AM

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat im about to become rich too by helping out a deposed nigerian king...maybe we can time-share in aspen!

Shawnee123 05-21-2007 09:47 AM

Hang on...going to check my Rolling Cash 5 tickets from the weekend to see if I can leave skid marks on the floor of my office getting out of here.

jester 05-21-2007 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rexmons (Post 345176)
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat im about to become rich too by helping out a deposed nigerian king...maybe we can time-share in aspen!

we get those letters here at work all the time - usually drs, business men who have x-amount of money and need to transfer to an american bank ac - they will gladly give us "millions" for allowing them the use of our ac. - they never include return addresses and by looking at the postage it almost looks authentic -

can ya smell what the rock is cookin?

xoxoxoBruce 05-21-2007 11:43 AM

Have you seen the ads for the Nigerian University offering spamming and scamming courses?

Shawnee123 05-21-2007 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123 (Post 345200)
Hang on...going to check my Rolling Cash 5 tickets from the weekend to see if I can leave skid marks on the floor of my office getting out of here.

Well, poo.

cowhead 05-21-2007 03:21 PM

well.. seems I have won the yahoo/microsoft lottery, the honda lottery, the uk lottery. and a couple of nigerian kings know ex-relatives of mine to whom the owe money and/or a debt. I've been saving 'nigerian' scam e-mails for a couple of months now, just to see the variations in the theme and also to try to figure out where in the hell they are getting my e-mail from... aspen sounds good! then again perhaps a little spot by the gulf? I mean since everyone of us are suddenly multi-millionaires... hmmm... the cellar nation might not be too far off...

jester 05-21-2007 03:28 PM

true dat


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