Time to judge the capitalist pig
 

This is primarily a vent, so if you are looking for humor, look elsewhere.

Let's pretend that someone is more or less selfemployed. Let's call them Jimbob. They work for a company, in name, but the profit/loss, and everything that goes along with that are theirs. if there is a profit, they get it, if there is a loss, they get that too.

Now let's say Jimbob has an assistant. this assistant requires no more skill than a secretarial position, but does require more selfmotivation and dedication. the assistant, let's call her clementine.

clementine is competent at her job and fulfills all the blocks that are technically required. Jimbob is regularly frustrated though because clementine consistantly grumbles about anything out of the ordinary, such as learning new tasks, etc. in fact, she sometimes "forgets" to do said new tasks until she has been reminded several times. but, overall, she does a good job. the real sticking point is that Clementine, while a very nice compassionate individual, has a personality that just grates into Jimbob ceaselessly.

Well, Jimbob has been stressing out over Clementine's review for about 2 weeks now. he would really like to see her transfer elsewhere (but there are no other people with an opening) or retire. because that isn't possible, Jimbob knows that clementine is competent and gives her a positive review and a 6% payraise with some recommendations for areas to work on and some ideas how to score better the next time around.

Clementive is positively offended at the pittance of a payraise. she has bills. she is paid too little. she is responsible for Jimbob's success and accolades. she suggests repeatedly that she will give Jimbob a few minutes to reconsider. it would be important to know that there was only a possibility of a 7% total raise.

Jimbob, who is controlling his temper and, who likes to please people, is really wavering between embarrassment and his boiling point. he calmly reminds clementine that she has a very flexible schedule, she can come and go as she pleases. Jimbob also reminds her that he frequently sends her home for free halfdays on Friday (paid time off without dipping into her vacation). Jimbob also explains how the P&L works. for every dollar in raise that she receives it takes two dollars from Jimbob's own bonuses, bonuses that he already splits 70/30 with her, even though he isn't obligated to do so. JImbob explains that he has reached his decision and hopes that she can come to appreciate what she did receive without holding a grudge for what she didn't.

Clementine storms out and within minutes is on the phone with her peers throughout the region telling them how she got robbed.

Jimbob hasn't worked a job that had payraises and reviews in a very long time, so he continues to be very stressed about the situation. Is 6% (out of a possible 7%) an insult for an employee that isn't going above and beyond in any way? Is Jimbob just a typical capitalist prick holding down the little people? should Jimbob rethink the raise?

Does Clementine normally pull the "I'm entitled" attitude? Sounds like Jimbob has been more than fair, and Clem needs to understand the correlation between performance and rewards. I'd inform her that yes, I'm rethinking the raise, but not in the direction she wants. And I'd write her up for being stupid.

6% is very reasonable. The worst thing Jimbob could do right now would be to give in and increase the raise in any way.

Jimbob definitely won't change it. he is going to be doing some checking around to find out if he was completely offbase with his appraisal.

I'd fire her ass, end of story. 6% is a nice raise given the economy. I've only received an "annual" raise twice, 1% and 2.5% respectively. Granted, I've also worked for a lot of failing companies, but my husband works for a major, thriving computer company, and their raises last go-round maxed out at a possible 5%.

I'd ask her directly how her peers said their raises compared, and if she isn't very apologetic, I'd tell her to ask those other people in the regions for a job then.

Don't rethink the raise, rethink her job! Can her ass, and then hire someone who wants the job.

there is no possible way to fire her. she does work technically work for the firm, not just me. that is one of the drawbacks to our employee status. the pluses are getting a w2, group benefits, etc...

she does her job competantly.
she is a nice person.
she just pisses me off beyond belief and this raise issue has really set me off. i'm going to explore some "promotion" opportunities for her, but she likes my office. that is what i get for being nice to her. she is pissed about the raise, but not pissed enough to go away.

I have no sympathy for Clementine. Our "excellent performance" raise is 3%. Adequate performance gets you 2%. BFD.

Clementine cannot both do her job competently, as you say in your last statement, and need constant retraining on tasks at the same time. Nice is good, but if it's not getting your clerical stuff done right and on time, it's not totally essential.

Is Clementine related to Jimbob? That brings up a whole other set of issues.

Our standard raise is 4% and normally it tops out at 7% unless you walk on water or something.

Un-uh, you got that wrong. She is not doing her job competantly if she is spending the afternoon on the phone with personal calls and she is not a nice person if she smears you all over town and tells YOU how to run the office. You have basically let her get away with attempted murder, and I would advise that you start documenting every move she makes because you are going to need it when she files a complaint against you with the company you both report to. And she'll do it too, the next time she does not get her way.

She has NOTHING to bitch about! In my last two jobs a 3% raise was the max, a flexible work schedule and half days on some Fridays is rare and a very nice perk. It sounds as if she may not be happy unless she has something to bitch about. I think Jimbob should rethink her raise and appraisal - and NOT in her favor - considering she discussed it all with her peers. In most places, that stuff is supposed to be confidential.

Clementine needs to be kicked out on her whiny ass.

A suggestion.

Jimbob should her the extra %age, and remove some of the bonus, if not all of it, and let her know that her response, while possibly reflecting her initial feelings on the matter, was not that of a team player. Team players split the spoils, and she is not on the team anymore. Jimbob should not reward assholes, nor "promote" them into someone elses life. People should be rewarded for performance, not "opinions". Part of the problem we have in the professional world is that we reward non production.

Jimbob is doing her no favors by allowing her to attempt to dictate her own terms.

Promoted to the point of incompetence.

Just my 2C. Good of Jimbob to worry about his employees though.

Jimbob, the manager, needs to not be emotionally manipulated. He needs to be impassionate and clear. He calls the numbers, if Clem dont like, Clem can walk. Jimbob is the leader. If his superior suggest a rething, mediation, so be it. If not, stick. Further, if Clems actions are unprofessional in anyway, its grounds for dismissal. Best for all concerned. No one should labor under the illusion that they are indispensible or irreplaceable.

Cirocco has a point, give her her 1% and take the bonus.