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-   -   Im not really sure what to do (bdsm) (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=19178)

bella-lunagirl 01-07-2009 07:17 PM

Im not really sure what to do (bdsm)
 
Well the thing is, I think Im a sub. A 'life style' sub. And I had tried subbing for a Dom (my very happy ex) but It felt weird to me because we were really close friends, and He was over a thousand miles away.

Im not really into a LOT of pain (i like the idea of being spanked and flogged and stuff) and Im not really into public humiliation.. I really just like being dommed, told what to do and being controlled in the privacy of closed doors.

The thing is, Im pretty young and worried that I 'll be abused past 'play' and I dont want that to happen. That, and Im in a really small town and I highly doubt there is anybody in the scene here.

Suggestions?

Beestie 01-07-2009 09:28 PM

I think you need some advice from like-minded individuals who, I imagine, probably convene in a forum dedicated the the topic you are asking about.

SteveDallas 01-07-2009 09:57 PM

Maybe she was making some kind of cellar = dungeon association.

Or maybe she determined that reading the posts here was painful, if not an actual form of torture.

monster 01-07-2009 09:59 PM

or, maybe she saw that a similar thread started by Treasaenuk had lead to some helpful responses....

Lighten up, guys, welcome the noob ...

hi, bella :)

xoxoxoBruce 01-07-2009 10:01 PM

Beat me to it, I think probably Treasenuak's posts led her here. :welcome:

Cicero 01-07-2009 11:36 PM

AAAhh, if you are too young just don't do it.

Signed,
Mom

DanaC 01-08-2009 03:22 AM

I would suggest you seek out one of the more respected and trusted scene sites online. Trease may be able to advise you on that. They may be able to hook you up with someone who wants to play at the same level you do in a safe setting.

How young is young? ( I don't mean tell me your age, just roughly) Depending on your age I'd be cautious. However fun and light and based on thrills and giggles; however dark and beautiful the fantasy, this stuff draws on very basic and deep parts of the psyche, and it isn't always a one way road. It helps if you are sure of yourself, psychosexually. Of course, how does one become sure of oneself if one doesn't experiment? *smiles*

That you're here posting and recognising potential areas of trouble, suggests you already have a healthy degree of caution. Good luck with it. And welcome to the Cellar :)

Sundae 01-08-2009 07:03 AM

What she said.

And especially welcome. You might have chanced upon us because of other posters/ topics, but if you have other questions - especially if they're interesting - you'll find them satisfied here ;)

SteveDallas 01-08-2009 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster (Post 519963)
Lighten up, guys

Most days that's as light as it gets for me. ;) But I'm always happy to see newbies join the party. :welcome:

Shawnee123 01-08-2009 08:35 AM

Im not really sure what to do (bosom)
 
Welcome bella. You've been officially clone-threaded. :D

Flint 01-08-2009 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie (Post 519955)
I think you need some advice from like-minded individuals who, I imagine, probably convene in a forum dedicated the the topic you are asking about.

Haven't you heard? This is that forum.
I'm certain that this board showed up in a Google search for...whatever. If we weren't talking about this stuff, she wouldn't be here.

Shawnee123 01-08-2009 10:54 AM

Tis true, when I got here I had googled "shithead" and it sent me straight to a Flint post. ;)

Beestie 01-08-2009 11:28 AM

To be clear, I wasn't trying to be unkind or unwelcoming to Bella-Lunagirl in any way.

I really do think that she should seek out forums frequented by and dedicated to the lifestyle she is curious about. The Cellar braintrust is indeed collectively formidable but I'm only aware of one lifestyle sub here and recall that she is also seeking clarity.

My point, therefore, is that we can discuss it all day long but if BG is seeking guidance about whether or not to make a lifestyle change she is advised that better, more experienced guidance is probably available elsewhere.

I think the word "Cellar" may be directing some folks in this direction who understand the word in a different context.

DanaC 01-08-2009 02:26 PM

For all we know she might have been lurking for a while. Also, sometimes it's hard to sift through the stuff online and know which ones are 'good' and which ones less so. Best way to find a good forum for stuff like that? Word of mouth. We have some of those mouths. As a starting point, posting in a multi-purpose forum in which others have also discussed BDSM and subbing is probably a good way to start imo.

Flint 01-08-2009 02:39 PM

Should we tell her about the special thing that I do?


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