Dear Penis Spam
 

I don't know who you are.

I don't care who you are.

Please don't tell me who you are.

Please leave me the fuck alone.

Kthxbai.

Someone's got a GF
Someone's got a GF
:eaty:
stalker

Dear Penis Spam

I am having trouble living my best life.
I blame Oprah.

Sincerely,
Cunting Crows

Dear Penis Spam,

I want to marry you and have like ten thousand of your babies.

Circle YES or NO.

Simmeringly,

Bastid Chile

Dear Penis Spam:

Why are so many people so fucking stupid?

Splintery,

Marcus Parkus

Dear Marcus Parkus

I think 'Marcus Parkus' is a made-up name and you might be trying to hurt me. But I will answer your question: People are fucking stupid because they have two brain neurons firing and that makes them think they are smarty-pants. Which is probably what you are. I have to go now. My landlords wife is having a wake right now and I have to be there to jump out of the cake.

Sincere in my Sincerity,
PEnis Spam

That's not funny. That's funny.

I am not now nor have I ever been Penis Spam
I have not been a Penis
I have not been Spam
I have however sent spam
But not here
Just sayin'

Dear PEnis Spam:

Marcus Parkus is NOT a made-up name. It was the name of my father and my grandfather and his father before him and his landlord before him.

Simulatingly,

Marcel Marceau

Dear Marcel

How many posts do you post in a row?

Like, seven?
coz, man. That's crazy.

Longing to love you longer,
Mr. Obvious

Why are you so mean to me? I have tried hard to make friends. It is not easy for me. I know my breasts are large, but that is the way God made me. You are making me so mad that I have torn all of the pictures off the wall. I reached out to one person who might live near me to be a friend. He said mean things about me. I am blind and it is not nice to make fun of me

Dear Penis Spam,

How many posts must a man walk down
Before he must puke on his shoes?

Sneeringly,

Artemus Confabulous

Dear Penis Spam,

It is very lucky you have such large breasteses that can act as bumpers as you are sure to bump into things due to your blindness. I'm going to design a pinball machine and name it Penis Spam.

Slovenly,

Tommy Mommy

That explains the hair...

*snort*