The Cellar - Don't Mess With Mom

> My son came home from school one day,
> with a smirk upon his face.
> He decided he was smart enough,
> to put me in my place.
>
> "Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
> that's taught by Mr. Wright?
> It's all about the laws today,
> The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
>
> It says I need not clean my room,
> don't have to cut my hair
> No one can tell me what to think,
> or speak, or what to wear.
>
> I have freedom from religion,
> and regardless what you say,
> I don't have to bow my head,
> and I sure don't have to pray.
>
> I can wear earrings if I want,
> and pierce my tongue & nose.
> I can read & watch just what I like,
> get tattoos from head to toe.
>
> And if you ever spank me,
> I'll charge you with a crime.
> I'll back up all my charges,
> with the marks on my behind.
>
> Don't you ever touch me,
> my body's only for my use,
> not for your hugs
> and kisses,
> that's just more child abuse.
>
> Don't preach about your morals,
> like your Mama did to you.
> That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too!
>
> Mom, I have these children's rights,
> so you can't influence me,
> or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as C.S.D."
>
> Mom's Reply and Thoughts
>
> Of course my first instinct was
> to toss him out the door.
> But the chance to teach him a lesson
> made me think a little more.
>
> I mulled it over carefully,
> I couldn't let this go.
> A smile crept upon my face,
> he's messing with a pro.
>
> Next day I took him shopping
> at the local Goodwill Store..
> I told him, "Pick out all you want,
> there's shirts & pants galore.
>
> I've called and checked with C.S.D.
> who said they didn't care
> if I bought you K-Mart shoes
> instead of those Nike Airs.
>
> I've canceled that appointment
> to take your driver's test.
> The C.S.D.
> is unconcerned
> so I'll decide what's best."
>
> I said "No time to stop and eat,
> or pick up stuff to munch.
> And tomorrow you can start to learn
> to make your own sack lunch.
>
> Just save the raging appetite,
> and wait till dinner time.
> We're having liver and onions,
> a favorite dish of mine."
>
> He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
> to watch on my VCR?"
> "Sorry, but I sold your TV,
> for new tires on my car.
>
> I also rented out your room,
> you'll take the couch instead.
> The C.S.D. requires
> just a roof over your head.
>
> Your clothing won't be trendy now,
> I'll choose what we eat.
> That allowance that you used to get,
> will buy me something neat.
>
> I'm selling off your jet ski,
> dirt-bike & roller blades.
> Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', It's in effect today!
>
> Hey hot shot, are you crying,
> Why are you on your knees?
> Are you asking God to help you out,
> instead of
> C.S.D..?"