Not much time left...and I miss my parents...
 

Congrats to the community. You WIN. I wanted things to be so much different for my life. Today was easter adn i was too ashamed toi call home. ashamed of who i am. Ashamed I could not get the job done. ...so be it...i guess.

I know how I am viewed on here. i see what is written. i AM a loser. and am low on food and money. i see what little I have. not much to see. i came here because of someone telling me to. i know i am looked at as a 'troller' person. my circumstances are real...

things got out of hand in my life. i wish i could blame the econmy. but i will take the blame. please do not ever say i was not honest about my being. do you know what it is like deciding to spend money on food or medicine .... when yuo can not buy both???

so please do not evr call me a fraud. most of you will never knwo...and i hope you do not ever have to know what it is like - even those on here who tried to destry my soul.

yes, i lost the gotham's writer contest. she was better. and yes, i did get banned from cafepharma. i was her on that site. howmuch more can one bare their soul to an anonymous website????

no of you care. so if you do not like what I post then let me be...just let me go. a life of pain. a life of mutilation and regret.

Pam.

p.s. enjoy your life fuckers!!! i will never return
EVER.

Last post,
Pam!!!

PLEASE.

Sweeps week over so soon?

I, like many here, thought it was Emma. Emma has gotten around her IP ban in the past by posting from locations other than home during school breaks, and last week was a school break. I assumed Emma was staying with someone who lives in Queens. But I decided it wasn't Emma, because there was no politics. Emma could never resist baiting liberals, and I've seen none of that with Pam. I expect to see Pam posting again tonight.

Wolf taught us about Borderline Personality Disorder a while back. Bold mine:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publi...et/index.shtml

Wait..

..who are you? Jk. Don't mind me!

I was working on that assumption from her first post, incidentally.

Hi. Yet again, you have forced my hand. I am not 'Emma.' But I have seen all comparisions. I do not talk politics or religeon...as Mr. Glatt stated. It is not me. What I meant by 'not a lot of time?' If i do not find a job this week, I will be foreced to move back home...

That has nothing to do with school break. I graduated college already. I am unemployed and on 'permanent break.'...or so it appears. I have been honest about my sitauation...have I not???

I do get upset by the comments, and at times have wine and go into a fit of rage... I do not know what else to say at this point...

I know I have a personality disorder! Is that what you want to hear?? Well there, i have just stated that for the record. I do not mean any disrespec tto anyone, nor tihs site. I thank Mr. undertoad for allowing me here. and i thank Glatt for believing the truth about me.

Not, I shall ask some of you to prove to me that this 'Emma' person existed. It is driving me nuts... yet nobody will tell me??

upset, jaded, disallusioned, sad, and very confused right now,
Pam.

glad you're back,

jim

not just pamming, either

Step one: Don't have wine.

Or vodka.

Or weed.

Or other clearly ineffective means of coping.

Stay on your medications, continue in therapy.

Decide what you want. Write it down.

Rewrite it into achievable goals and steps to achieve those goals.

Hang a printed copy somewhere that you will see it multiple times per day.

Implement the steps that you have defined.

Pam, I asked you a question that I was serious about, but you never answered it. So...one more try.

You say your 'rents live in a nearby state. I was curious if you and they moved over here at the same time, or were you born here? Or maybe you were adopted? I'm just trying to figure out the logistics.


You've been most entertaining. I don't know your story but would like to know more.

I used to miss my parents too. Then a friend told me I wasn't leading them enough...

and you have to allow for windage

Wait a minute. She said her mother died giving birth to her and her father died when she was 16.