malicious gifting
 

What i meen by this is , giveing something for Xmas that will confound ,be anoying ,or be destructive to some bodys house that you know( friends , family , etc,,,,) that expects a gift ( but that you don't really like ) .
Examples ,
1) we have given the largest PLAYDO play set we could find to a couple that has HEATHEN children ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and new carpet .
2) subscribeing a VEGAN to the steaks of the month club.
3) sign up a VERRY gay scared and VERRY hetro dude up for PLAYGIRL !!!


I am thinking about giveing out a few Karaoke sets this year !!!!!

Oh yes. I definitely do this every year.

My sister and her boyfriend have 6 kids between the two of them.... this Christmas is going to be sweeeeet!

I figure there's enough kids to make an orchestra. One of them is getting a set of cymbals for sure!

Thats awhat I'm Talking about !!!!!!!!

A 6 piece combo , SWEEEET !!!!!!!

Kazoo and a harmonica are must gifts for little kids. They'll blow on the things all day and they make the most annoying sounds on earth.

One year I found this super annoying electronic pogo stick that would make the most irritating sounds at about 100 decibels if it was touched at all, and about 1000000 decibels if it was jumped on. I gave it to their most hyper kid.

**virtual high five to all my malicious gifting friends**

Grant....ooooooo a kazoo... hadn't thought of that one yet. Imagine 6 of them.

yessss....

Ra-roh!

I had a keychain with a little locomotive on it. When you yank the chain it would go into a set routine of blowing the whistle and making fart and slow choo choo sounds. When you heard the first whistle you were in for a 40 second routine that was unvaried and unstoppable, short of killing it.
I showed it to a friend who thought it was cute so I said, I'm giving this to you.....if you want to give it to your kid it's on you.
When I left 2 hours later he was regretting his decision to give it to the kid but I was clean.

This year, a gift certificate for $5,000.....toward a new Boeing 737. :lol:

an 8 week old puppy makes a nice gift.....or an ant farm.

Don't forget the stocking stuffers. Cap guns and Silly String. Oh yeah.... and slingshots.

the worst gift given to me one year was this neat ass lead toy solder set , cool molds , with a melter pot and lead to melt ,
i read the instructions , plugged it up and started makeing lead soldgers ,
all at about 6:00am a day AFTER xmas ,
all was well untill MOM smelt the smoldering carpet in the liveing room and the spilled lead !!!!

Gee that new play set dissapeared real fast :D

Actually a harmonica isn't THAT horrible. They will always be blowing a chord that's sort of in tune, and if they really blow it hard the reeds will just sieze up and not make a sound.

Having said that, my sister and I once received finger paints from my aunt. Next year my mom gave my cousin a drum. Coincidence?? You decide. ;)

....science fiction music fading in.........

...GIFT WARS!...

We received a series of noisy malicious gifts from relatives who were not happy that my kids are not loud and obnoxious. Revenge was far too easy in that case. :cool:

I reserve the purchasing of loud toys only for the children of friends that I think truly deserve that.

I'm just like Santa. Good kids get good presents.

Are you sure you're not just like my older brother? One Christmas morning when I was about 6 or 7 I woke up to find no presents and my stocking filled with rocks.

It was not a Christmas gift, but I gave a woman who lives in my neighborhood my Blockbuster movie pass to use. This is the one where you can take any 2 movies out at a time and get more when you bring them back. This woman does not work and so she was going to Blockbuster twice a day, which is what suspected would happen and had a private chuckle about it. About a month later she was worn out with watching videos and running back and forth, so she gave me the pass back and I promptly cancelled it. Is it wrong to do something good to be bad? Could be.

There is nothing like watching a child open their gift from you. They have this look of absolute mischevious delight, while the parent has the look of horror.

It's perfect.

Was that it Steve? Was that the one that twisted you? :unsure:

my oldest brother and I had a problem playing together. So one year my parents gave him a bat and gave me a ball.
Sorry Dad, it din't work. He whooped my ass with the bat and took the ball.

Ok - here's where I am at so far:

Sister's little hyper kid #1 - we got her tap shoes and a leotard. mmmhmmm... they don't have a scrap of carpet in their house - it's all hardwood or tile. Yesssss.
Sister's little hyper kid #2 - we got him an electronic keyboard. This kid is weirdly compulsive so I am sure he will play the same 3 keys over & over. Yesssss.
We are still working on kid #3, but rest assured, all packages will include either a kazoo or a harmonica tucked into the bow on top.

seakdivers, you are very, very evil. I love you. :love:

I say a drum set !!!!

Zippy - I would do the drum set, but we have a $30 limit for the kids (not including shipping charges), and most really cool/ irritating items are out of that range.

Drat.

And xoBruce - I love you too.

The Harem Grows.

You've just made a very powerful enemy.

He's going to have to build on an addition to the house at this rate.

I thought everybody was coming to live with me?

One year, my father-in-law, gave my kids an electric organ when he first arrived for a holiday visit. I'm sure he meant well. (He's not the type who would give a malicious gift.)

This thing was so cheap it sounded horrible. Reminded me of a musical card. High pitched and out of tune. I made sure to get the kids set up and playing it while the father-in-law was there trying to have a nice visit with us. It made a horrible racket. He made a few comments about how he had no idea how obnoxious the present was. The last two visits, he's given the kids quiet toys. He had always given them noise makers up until that point.

I really want to give someone a Billy Bigmouth Bass or the Singing Deerhead, but I don't like anyone enough to spend that much on them.

:grouphug: Then your husband could work at home (crime scene). :haha:

xoB - he does work from home!

At the door you'll be asked to give a hair & blood sample, a buccal swab will be taken, and you'll be set!

Last one to the theater room is a rotten egg!!

I have to know seak ... does he watch CSI and point out all the errors?

Wolf - Ooooh you have no idea. The errors are one thing, but it's the stuff they completely fabricate that really drives him crazy.
In the forensic community they call it the "CSI effect". It's a real problem when being in front of a jury, and they don't understand why you didn't pull out the "crimescenescanner2000" like they saw on CSI.

Yeah, you are going to have the person that processes the crime scene being the same person that processes the evidence in the lab (using magical powders, liquids & equipment that don't exist). Of course they are also investigating the suspect, and ultimately will be there for the arrest. You can almost hear the criminal saying "if it weren't for those meddling CSI guys, I would have gotten away with it!"

You have no idea of how many people really think it works that way.

This coming from someone who has the Death Row theme from "Chicago" as their sig line...scary. :worried:

Hey, Els! Thanks for noticing!

You all know that, deep down, I'm a pussycat.
:apaw:

I hear ya! Mr. Saur usually points out the poor pipetting technique used by the CSIs. Plus he's a chemist, so he pretty much knows how to use a pipette.

Don'tcha love it when they walk into the crime scene and pick something up with no gloves on (before photographing it mind you). Aaaarrrrgh!!

CSI...The entire first season on DVD would be a malicious gift.

Goddamnit, they're sold out. :(

A Harem? The ultimate malicious gift.http://www.cellar.org/images/smilies/wink.gif

Not virtual Harems. :smack:

xoB - you should never look a gift harem in the mouth.

I know my semi-estranged dad would take great delight in buying my three kids a drum kit if he could be bothered to shop for himself. But he can't, so he sends one check to cover all birthday presents and Christmas. Do I need counselling because I used it to get them a drum kit? :3_eyes: :lol:

Do I need counselling because I used it to get them a drum kit?

Considering the sorse of the cash !!!! No , I don't think so , sick and twisted , Yes , but He would probley WANT it that way !!!

Ok, I'm ruined. No kazoos in town at all. Every shop owner looked at me like I was crazy for wanting six of them, much less one.

I'm writing this down for next year.

Try the party supply aisle of your supermarket.

Saw some at the Dollar Tree in the birthday trinket area today. (Wrapping paper, pretty and cheap!)

Yay!!! Wolf - you saved Christmas! (for me at least) I found a pack of 8 for $2.99 at the grocery store.

I can't wait.

Of course....Wolf is Pennsylvanian for anti-grinch. ;)