Random Cellarite Fact of the Day
 

As i mentioned in another thread, i will continue posting a new cellarite fact of the day every day - except the days i don't. from this point on i will be posting those facts in this thread. although any and everyone can post to the thread i would ask you not to post additional "cellarite facts" directly to the thread. i will gladly accept any submissions through the PM and i will credit you with the submission - i just don't want to see a bunch of facts every day for 3 or 4 days and then see the thread die.

ok?

TW, my noble nemesis, i hope you are honored (or at least see) that you are the very first permanent Cellarite Fact of the Day.

TW once challenged a dead woman to a staring contest. The corpse nearly won, until TW's famous humor made her laugh.

i know i know. i've been too busy to keep this up. this one is from Zippyt. please submit ideas. (maybe some that aren't about TW, even)

arguing with TW is like wrestling with a pig in mud, after a while you just realize the pig is having fun rolling in the mud .

Lumberjim likes to think he is the most annoying Cellarite when, in fact, it is a rotating honor that he only occasionally holds. He is, however, the most annoying husband that Jinx has.

I forget who typed this one, but i saw it and grabbed it. (then modified it) whoever typed it - good job.

Who is Jinx's least annoying husband then? And isn't she afraid of getting busted for polygamy? :lol:

They haven't found a body. He was declared legally dead, though.

It's not polyandry if she endures them serially.

:snort: As if.
I'm not enamored enough with men to clean the body hair from more than one out of the tub every day. :headshake

Based on this response, I offer this new Cellar Fact of the Day Suggestion:

Jinx would have become a lesbian if Lumberjim hadn't started doing a full-body depilation each day.

Actually, I think it's the depilation that grosses her out. She really just wants him to clean his own hair out of the drain. She prolly knew he was hairy to begin with, but the shedding! Oy!

OH SHIT! :lol2:

It is only messy the first time. Doing it on a daily basis removes such tiny hairs that they are held in suspension and go easily down the drain.

Its the long, snarfy ones that coagulate in the soap scum and really make it grotty for Jinx.

I didn't need to know that.

not all that random fact:

Lookout should know better than to hope that people wil follow his rules about posting in a thread. Given the tangental nature of this beast, it is more likely to devolve into a discussion about an innocent bather's body hair composition and retention rates than to stay on track as a repository of actual random facts.

PS. my body hair is nothing compared to the birds nests i pull out of the drain each morning from jinx's mane. and the random 3 foot long ones that always seem to find their way into the armpits of my clean shirts so that they dangle out my sleeve and tickle the inside of my arms until i realize what the hell is going on, and spin around like a dog chasing his tail for ten minutes trying to see this single fucking hair, and capture it. gah!

jim is right. i now open this thread to your pre-scheduled thread hijack. and if you think of any random facts... post 'em if ya got 'em.

Why does the above narrative make me think that someone needs to do a sitcom about the LJ/Jinx household?

As with all "facts" posted on The Cellar, the nature of same is always going to spur some debate. The hijack is indeed inevitable. The more creative the alleged fact, the more diverse and derailing the debate.

what the fuck? why the fuck did you edit out the fucking word 'fucking' from my fucking post, spode?

The universe is again in balance. Thank me later.

You cannot possibly compare the single strand of love, that gently caressing reminder of your beloved, inserted carefully into each and every one of your shirts, to the pelt-ring left behind when you drain the tub.

Net Nanny does it. I have no control.

:smack: of course. what was i thinking? but pelt-ring? the visual is unsettling at best, and innacurate besides.

PS, put a few beers in the fridge for me? thanks!

that's just phucking wrong

Elspode:

Ask netnanny this question: I'm thinking of a word...

Hot, smokin', sizzlin, starts with F and ends with U-C-K. Well netnanny? Give up?
















































firetruck

This is the best sentence I have read in ages. thanks :lol:

Here's something even more wrong...the netnanny won't show me the rest of this page. Too many instances of the word "fuck". It will replace one or two on a page with dashes, but if it appears too many times, it just won't let you view the rest of the page.

Pelt ring. Priceless.