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lookout123 08-04-2005 12:47 PM

Favorite Simpson's Quotes
 
It's that time of the year again! i know we've had a similar thread before, but Happy Monkey inspired me to dig through my Simpson's quotes in search of a particular one, which i, of course, can't find. but i have been laughing out loud for the last ten minutes and i thought maybe you'd like to as well.

Many of my favorites involve Ralph Wiggum, here is one.

Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things.

what are your favorite simpson's quotes?

and before anyone says it, "Is Chicken of the Sea chicken or tuna?" doesn't count.

Happy Monkey 08-04-2005 12:51 PM

Ooooh! Floor Pie!

lookout123 08-04-2005 12:55 PM

Mayor Quimby: Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with digging up a corpse?

Happy Monkey 08-04-2005 12:58 PM

Lou: That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place.
Wiggum: Forget it, that's two blocks away.
Lou: Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney.
Wiggum: I am proceeding on foot; call in a code eight.
Lou: (into radio) We need pretzels; repeat, pretzels.

lookout123 08-04-2005 01:11 PM

Ralph: Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office.

jinx 08-04-2005 01:12 PM

No beer and no TV make Homer something something.
Go crazy?
Don't mind if I do!

Take it outside, Godboy.

I bent my wookie.

D'oh!
A deer!
A female deer!

lookout123 08-04-2005 01:17 PM

Principal Skinner: Order, order. Do you kids wanna be like the real UN or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?

grazzers 08-04-2005 01:19 PM

All classics so far.

My favourite is:

Bart and Lisa to Marge: Pocket money time, ding ding ding ding ding ding!
Homer running through: ICE CREAM VAN!

Hobbs 08-04-2005 01:29 PM

Marge: You already pet the dog. Go pet the cat.

Homer: Pet the cat...? Ohhhh, why bother?

Trilby 08-04-2005 01:42 PM

Ralph: (after eating a berry on a deserted island) It tastes like burning!

lookout123 08-04-2005 01:47 PM

Grandpa: Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.

melidasaur 08-04-2005 03:25 PM

Oh, I have soooo many.

Here are a few to start:

Ralph Wiggum: Hi Principle Skinner. Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers.

Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my case against the movie "The Never-Ending Story."

Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such motivational films as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Confident, Stupid."

Lionel Hutz: I want to declare a bad trial thingy.
Judge Synder: You mean a mistrial.
Lionel Hutz: Yeah. A mistrial. That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.

Elspode 08-04-2005 03:54 PM

"More...mmmppfff...more...mmmppfff...more...mmmppfff...more" - Homer, being force-fed donuts while strapped in Satanic donut force-feeding machine in Hell.

Undertoad 08-04-2005 07:54 PM

I am so smart!
I am so smart!
S-M-R-T!
I mean S-M-A-R-T!

smoothmoniker 08-05-2005 01:17 AM

ralphie wiggum has soooo many winners:

tomacco - "this tastes like grandma!"

"Me fail English? That's unpossible."

Queen of the Ryche 08-05-2005 08:31 AM

Ralph: I sleep in a drawer.

breakingnews 08-05-2005 08:41 AM

Homer Simpson: "I don't have to be careful. I have a gun."

Homer: "I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."

Chief Wiggum: "Ok folks, back away nothin to see here... Oh my god a horrible plane wreck! Hey everybody crowd around, come on don't be shy crowd around."

Trilby 08-05-2005 09:27 AM

Homer: "When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle! They're on TV!"

Trilby 08-05-2005 09:28 AM

Homer, meeting aliens--"Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!"

bigw00dy 08-05-2005 09:31 AM

nelson:your moms going to jail...HA_HA
bart: your mom is already there
nelson: oh, lets be friends

Clodfobble 08-05-2005 10:07 AM

Homer: Linguo... dead?!
Linguo: Linguo... IS... dead...

capnhowdy 08-06-2005 08:06 AM

Homer: " The girl of your dreams has gotta be in SOME bar......"

melidasaur 08-06-2005 09:06 AM

Rod or Tod: Lies make Baby Jesus cry.

Trilby 08-06-2005 03:22 PM

Ned Flanders: "Kids, we're going to have an imaginary Christmas this year!"

Rod & Todd: "YAAAAAY!"

wolf 08-08-2005 04:04 PM

From the "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show" ...

"Heidiliho Pagans! We've brought you some ram's blood for your godless ceremony!"

From King Size Homer ...

"And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain."

(I have a special place in my heart for Dr. Nick ... there's a doc at a local ER that sounds JUST like him)

Sun_Sparkz 08-09-2005 12:01 AM

Ralph: "... And so my doctor says it wouldnt bleed so much if i just kept my finger outta there"

Homer "Donuts... Is there anything they can't do?" (after using a donut/anchor to stop the monorail)

IN THE OZ Episode .crocodile dundee "That not a knife! THIS is a knife!"
Bart "Thats not a knife.. thats a spoon"
Croc Dundee "Ahhh.. I see you've played Knifey - Spooney before!!"

grazzers 08-09-2005 05:48 AM

So thats where the knifey spooney thing came from. On a bus trip back from a weekends hillwalking trip couple of the people on our bus started saying that, then applying to anything we could see out the window. It got a bit wierd when we passed an Ostrich farm... "i see you've played knifey ostrichy before then!" Good times...

Queen of the Ryche 08-09-2005 09:35 AM

That's all they taught me; punch and grope, punch and grope........(Cedric Mason, retired boxer)

perth 08-09-2005 10:10 AM

It really has to be *seen*, I guess, but my favourite Simpsons moment is from the same-sex marriage episode, when Homer imagines marrying himself. The quote and an mp3 of it are third from the bottom on this page:

http://www.lardlad.com/assets/quotes...marrying.shtml

Elspode 08-09-2005 02:28 PM

"The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, that's the day you start to the top." - O. J. Simpson

This *is* the lame-ass OJ Simpson quote thread, right?

wolf 08-10-2005 12:19 AM

Darnit, el ... you beat me to it.

I was going to use the infamous quotes, "Not Guilty" and "Now I can devote myself to finding the real killers."

melidasaur 08-19-2005 05:05 PM

Who wants Purina when You could have Fancy Feast? -- Homer talking about his attraction to Marge

Kagen4o4 08-20-2005 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Queen of the Ryche
Ralph: I sleep in a drawer.

not ralph, kerny's kid

marge: homer, that crazy lady that lives in our trash pile attacked me again today
homer: thats not the way she tells it

lisa: but who will police the police?
homer: i dunno...coastgaurd?

homer: a moron? but im from earth!

*homer lifts up his shirt to reveal all his organs visable after being attacked by a badger*
homer: i should probably see a doctor about this though
lisa: how did the badger do that without ripping your clothes?
homer: what am i a tailor?

becky: you got poison to play at our wedding?
leadsinger: we're not poison, we're a living tribute to poison
drummer: WE NEED A RIDE HOME!

scorpio: ever seen a man say goodbye to his shoes?
homer: *chuckles* yes once.

homer: do you have any sugar?
scorpio:hmm let me see *pulls sugar out of his pockets*, here ya go, sorry its not in packages *puts hands back in pockets* want any cream?
homer: eeehhh..noooo

sorry that will do for now

grazzers 08-20-2005 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kagen
homer: do you have any sugar?
scorpio:hmm let me see *pulls sugar out of his pockets*, here ya go, sorry its not in packages *puts hands back in pockets* want any cream?
homer: eeehhh..noooo

I remember that one, laughed out loud.

The episode with the cat burglar:
Barney (waking up naked in a bare apartment): Hey, I'm sure I had more stuff than this...

Trilby 08-20-2005 07:59 AM

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes (lie detector blows up)

Trilby 08-20-2005 08:00 AM

Homer: I'm not normally a praying man, but, if you're up there, please save me, Superman!

xoxoxoBruce 08-22-2005 07:59 PM

By the way kiddies, this site will let you download 41 short clips of the pre-Fox Simpsons that aired on Tracy Ullman's show.
You need a Divx codec that can be downloaded from the same site, though. :)

Queen of the Ryche 08-22-2005 10:19 PM

at teh Robot Rumble, with Cheif Knock A Homer: "...join us next week for more inconclusive action..."

Kagen4o4 08-23-2005 07:49 PM

homer - "white gold! texas tea!...sweetener!"

homer - "ah hah! whered you get the sugar for that tea?"
english guy - "i nicked it, when you let your gaurd down for that split second...and id do it again...good day"

bee keeper 1 - "to the bee mobile!"
bee keeper 2 - "you mean your chevy?"
bee keeper 1 - "...yes"

richlevy 08-23-2005 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf
(I have a special place in my heart for Dr. Nick ... there's a doc at a local ER that sounds JUST like him)

Is that supposed to be comforting? :worried: I hope you just mean the accent.

wolf 08-24-2005 12:38 AM

He's a reasonably competent doc.

Looks like Dr. Nick too. Dark hair, shifty eyes, kinda yellow.


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