Favorite Simpson's Quotes
 

It's that time of the year again! i know we've had a similar thread before, but Happy Monkey inspired me to dig through my Simpson's quotes in search of a particular one, which i, of course, can't find. but i have been laughing out loud for the last ten minutes and i thought maybe you'd like to as well.

Many of my favorites involve Ralph Wiggum, here is one.

Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things.

what are your favorite simpson's quotes?

and before anyone says it, "Is Chicken of the Sea chicken or tuna?" doesn't count.

Ooooh! Floor Pie!

Mayor Quimby: Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with digging up a corpse?

Lou: That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place.
Wiggum: Forget it, that's two blocks away.
Lou: Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney.
Wiggum: I am proceeding on foot; call in a code eight.
Lou: (into radio) We need pretzels; repeat, pretzels.

Ralph: Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office.

No beer and no TV make Homer something something.
Go crazy?
Don't mind if I do!

Take it outside, Godboy.

I bent my wookie.

D'oh!
A deer!
A female deer!

Principal Skinner: Order, order. Do you kids wanna be like the real UN or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?

All classics so far.

My favourite is:

Bart and Lisa to Marge: Pocket money time, ding ding ding ding ding ding!
Homer running through: ICE CREAM VAN!

Marge: You already pet the dog. Go pet the cat.

Homer: Pet the cat...? Ohhhh, why bother?

Ralph: (after eating a berry on a deserted island) It tastes like burning!

Grandpa: Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.

Oh, I have soooo many.

Here are a few to start:

Ralph Wiggum: Hi Principle Skinner. Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers.

Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my case against the movie "The Never-Ending Story."

Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such motivational films as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Confident, Stupid."

Lionel Hutz: I want to declare a bad trial thingy.
Judge Synder: You mean a mistrial.
Lionel Hutz: Yeah. A mistrial. That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.

"More...mmmppfff...more...mmmppfff...more...mmmppfff...more" - Homer, being force-fed donuts while strapped in Satanic donut force-feeding machine in Hell.

I am so smart!
I am so smart!
S-M-R-T!
I mean S-M-A-R-T!

ralphie wiggum has soooo many winners:

tomacco - "this tastes like grandma!"

"Me fail English? That's unpossible."

Ralph: I sleep in a drawer.

Homer Simpson: "I don't have to be careful. I have a gun."

Homer: "I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."

Chief Wiggum: "Ok folks, back away nothin to see here... Oh my god a horrible plane wreck! Hey everybody crowd around, come on don't be shy crowd around."

Homer: "When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle! They're on TV!"

Homer, meeting aliens--"Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!"

nelson:your moms going to jail...HA_HA
bart: your mom is already there
nelson: oh, lets be friends

Homer: Linguo... dead?!
Linguo: Linguo... IS... dead...

Homer: " The girl of your dreams has gotta be in SOME bar......"

Rod or Tod: Lies make Baby Jesus cry.

Ned Flanders: "Kids, we're going to have an imaginary Christmas this year!"

Rod & Todd: "YAAAAAY!"

From the "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show" ...

"Heidiliho Pagans! We've brought you some ram's blood for your godless ceremony!"

From King Size Homer ...

"And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain."

(I have a special place in my heart for Dr. Nick ... there's a doc at a local ER that sounds JUST like him)

Ralph: "... And so my doctor says it wouldnt bleed so much if i just kept my finger outta there"

Homer "Donuts... Is there anything they can't do?" (after using a donut/anchor to stop the monorail)

IN THE OZ Episode .crocodile dundee "That not a knife! THIS is a knife!"
Bart "Thats not a knife.. thats a spoon"
Croc Dundee "Ahhh.. I see you've played Knifey - Spooney before!!"

So thats where the knifey spooney thing came from. On a bus trip back from a weekends hillwalking trip couple of the people on our bus started saying that, then applying to anything we could see out the window. It got a bit wierd when we passed an Ostrich farm... "i see you've played knifey ostrichy before then!" Good times...

That's all they taught me; punch and grope, punch and grope........(Cedric Mason, retired boxer)

It really has to be *seen*, I guess, but my favourite Simpsons moment is from the same-sex marriage episode, when Homer imagines marrying himself. The quote and an mp3 of it are third from the bottom on this page:

http://www.lardlad.com/assets/quotes...marrying.shtml

"The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, that's the day you start to the top." - O. J. Simpson

This *is* the lame-ass OJ Simpson quote thread, right?

Darnit, el ... you beat me to it.

I was going to use the infamous quotes, "Not Guilty" and "Now I can devote myself to finding the real killers."

Who wants Purina when You could have Fancy Feast? -- Homer talking about his attraction to Marge

not ralph, kerny's kid

marge: homer, that crazy lady that lives in our trash pile attacked me again today
homer: thats not the way she tells it

lisa: but who will police the police?
homer: i dunno...coastgaurd?

homer: a moron? but im from earth!

*homer lifts up his shirt to reveal all his organs visable after being attacked by a badger*
homer: i should probably see a doctor about this though
lisa: how did the badger do that without ripping your clothes?
homer: what am i a tailor?

becky: you got poison to play at our wedding?
leadsinger: we're not poison, we're a living tribute to poison
drummer: WE NEED A RIDE HOME!

scorpio: ever seen a man say goodbye to his shoes?
homer: *chuckles* yes once.

homer: do you have any sugar?
scorpio:hmm let me see *pulls sugar out of his pockets*, here ya go, sorry its not in packages *puts hands back in pockets* want any cream?
homer: eeehhh..noooo

sorry that will do for now

I remember that one, laughed out loud.

The episode with the cat burglar:
Barney (waking up naked in a bare apartment): Hey, I'm sure I had more stuff than this...

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes (lie detector blows up)

Homer: I'm not normally a praying man, but, if you're up there, please save me, Superman!

By the way kiddies, this site will let you download 41 short clips of the pre-Fox Simpsons that aired on Tracy Ullman's show.
You need a Divx codec that can be downloaded from the same site, though. :)

at teh Robot Rumble, with Cheif Knock A Homer: "...join us next week for more inconclusive action..."

homer - "white gold! texas tea!...sweetener!"

homer - "ah hah! whered you get the sugar for that tea?"
english guy - "i nicked it, when you let your gaurd down for that split second...and id do it again...good day"

bee keeper 1 - "to the bee mobile!"
bee keeper 2 - "you mean your chevy?"
bee keeper 1 - "...yes"

Is that supposed to be comforting? :worried: I hope you just mean the accent.

He's a reasonably competent doc.

Looks like Dr. Nick too. Dark hair, shifty eyes, kinda yellow.