A worky-type question
 

So this friend of mine shared an interesting situation with me recently. Given that Dwellars are the fount of all wisdom, I thought I'd ask your opinions.

Here's the situation: my friend has been employed at the same place for 7 years. During that time he's had a boss who has been a true partner and mentor in his work. So, now that it's time for that boss to step down into semi-retirement, my friend obviously wants to make sure he doesn't do anything to in anyway dis the boss or make him think he's not grateful.

Yesterday my friend was notified that there will be a semi-private surprise dinner for the boss this weekend, and further details would be forthcoming. Today an email informed him of the location of the dinner, catered at a local restaurant, and that everyone attending is expected to pony up $50 to cover the cost of the dinner.

My friend is a cheap bastard who probably doesn't spend $50 on FOUR dinners out, and he's also kind of aggravated that this is happening at the last minute.

In his position, would you shell out the $50?

yeah, unless he'd rather go through the drive-thru and bring that with him :lol:

Yes. As long as he doesn't make a habit of it. Retiring that is.

However, Miss Manners says that if he cannot attend, sending along a card and small gift with apologies will cover it. A "previous engagement" (read: empty wallet) can always be remembered.

Personally, I would pony up and shut up. IF the man was so instrumental to me for years, I would want to show my gratitude and send him off with a nice dinner and gift. Uh, this DOES include a nice gift, right? It had better. $50 is not too much to cover a nice dinner plus a portion of the boss's dinner and gift.

That's my take on it anyway.

$50 is a small price to pay to honor someone who has been instrumental in one's career path. obviously if he truly cannot afford $50, then he'll have to make his excuses, but even then his absence will be noted.

No gift. Just dinner.

I echo the comments above regarding the truth that $50 is small compared to help in one's career through the years. Cheap don't enter into it. However, I reckon that the mentor knows already the mentee's gratitude. I would certainly hope so. And the "dinner" was clearly not the mentee's idea given his penchant for frugality. If I were the mentor, I would understand either way. Id "know" my mentee, and wouldn't judge him on this call. Perhaps seeing him at the dinner and being able to infer the personal cost to him I would understand what a gesture his presence represents.

I think it's useful to observe that even though the party is in the retiree's honor, the decision to have the pay as you go dinner was the brainchild of the other attendees, not the guest of honor. You'd be confronting them on the $$ issue.

Which brings up another question. Why isn't the company paying for the dinner? If it's just us guys out for fun, we all pay our way, but if it's a work celebration, anniversary, retirement, everywhere I've been, the boss picked up the bill. Maybe that's not the company dynamic here...seems kinda cheap though.

Your friend sounds like he might be a selfish bastard.
You say his boss was a friend and mentor that he knew for 7 years and now he's retiring.
Your friend is too friggin dirt cheap to part with $50 for this? That's sad.

There is a company-wide lunch for the boss. Whether this dinner is an "official" function or not is extremely ambiguous. My friend was not originally on the guest list and was added at the last minute. (To be fair it was supposed to be "senior management" and the person setting it up didn't realize that included my friend.)

well, with that little bit of info i would say that it is even more crucial that he pony up and go along for the ride.

A) $50 isn't too much to pay for honoring a friend and mentor
B) if he is senior mgmt and the others didn't know it, this is his chance to make his membership in their club known.
C) if he isn't senior mgmt and they included him it would be very unwise to reject the invite.

Pay it and take a BIG doggie bag. ;)

Ditto the wise counsel of l123. Think of it as an investment, or at least a self advertising expense.

Ouch. Schooled by a waitress.

(no offense to the profession, it's just that I know how hard you work for often meager tips)

I agree with those who say the money is a small price to pay for the show of gratitude.

My boss left about two months ago - we had a quick and awkward lunch send-off (she quit because of her superior), but later that night we put together a bar party for a real farewell. Figured 5 or 6 of us were going to split up the tab, but my boss was so happy to be leaving that she picked up the entire bill. That's gratitude!

I'm another pony up the $50 and go to the dinner vote.

In addition to honoring someone that he has worked with over this period of time, this is also essentially a political appearance ... Your friend may or may not be in line for the newly-vacated position, and showing that he is indeed a company player will either further that, or at least make certain that he's known to upper management.

Of course, I'm working for a company in which I've advanced as far as possible in the food chain, unless my boss has a stress-related heart attack.

I too am seconding the sentiments echoed above. If he was added at last minute, maybe there is a good reason for that - like a promotion in the future. Plus, if he's cheap, he'll make up for it somehow later on - ie by buying generic toothpaste or just dipping his toothbrush in a box of baking soda.

Doesn't viagra help with that?

Your friend is extremely cheap. I've spent more money on that taking my boss out for lunch and I've only worked here for a few months.

If the boss/mentor knows this person well enough to know how cheap they are, and they show up, that might also go to show how much the boss/mentor meant to the friend in addition to the friend telling them so face to face. Just make sure he doesn't comment on how he's going to have to scrimp on toiletries for the next month since he showed up to the dinner :)

Pay up, eat well, don't ever even let a HINT of disgruntle....ment?... show its ugly face. No good can come from skipping the lunch, and your $50 might net some friends in the right places.

Plus it's just a good thing to do for someone who has helped you in your career.

My friend apparently bit the big one in deciding not to go.

I suspect that's going to be a penny-wise pound-foolish decision.

I think I am the only cheap bastard here. I think if he were close enough with the guy he could have his own goodbye lunch with him where he treats. It would be more meaningful and he would have a better opportunity to express his gratitude.

corporate management goodbyes are less about the person leaving than about those who are staying. my guess is your friend has a HUGE gaping wound in his foot and a smoking gun in his hand.