Bean, a dog 1994-2005
 

My first dog and fine friend is gone.

http://cellar.org/bean/beanboy.jpg

Bean was the best dog I could have hoped for as a first dog. He was bold, beautiful, funny and happy.

http://cellar.org/bean/beanboy2.jpg

My ex Sharon and I got Bean after looking for a dog for a year. First we went to the Philadelphia Dog Show and looked at and met various dog breeds. We were both totally inspired by the Boston Terrier. The breed seemed to have the personality and needs that matched what we wanted. We talked to breeders for several months and finally drove to Chambersburg to see a litter of young puppies. Bean stood out immediately.

He was also missing an ear. It turned out that his mom bit it off. Bostons are generally born C-section, and coming off the anesthesia, Bean's mom didn't understand that the puppies milling about were hers. Bean got in the way, and lost an ear for it.

But he never lost that bold personality.

http://cellar.org/bean/beanboy4.jpg

And he was cute as hell.

http://cellar.org/bean/beanboy3.jpg

And funny.

http://cellar.org/bean/beanwildball.jpg

Bean's first obsession was chasing the ball. He was nuts for it, and would demand a session every day.

http://cellar.org/bean/beanballsnow.jpg

Even in the deep winter.

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http://cellar.org/bean/beanhearth.jpg

We kept his toys above the fireplace. He learned to jump up there, knock the fireplace tools until they clanged, and then look at you -- to say, hey, do me a favor and throw me that toy would you? We got tired of this and move the toys elsewhere, but for his entire life he would still stand up by the fireplace to signal play time.

http://cellar.org/bean/beantired.jpg

After playing ball he would be exhausted.

http://cellar.org/bean/beansofa.jpg

He would find the highest place on the sofa possible.

http://cellar.org/bean/beanpillows.jpg

We called it his "throne".

http://cellar.org/bean/beanface.jpg

He was irresistable. Everybody loved Bean. Even though he was bold, he was also polite, and begged by simply sitting by your side and looking at you until you gave him your crumbs.

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http://cellar.org/bean/beanperl1.jpg

Halfway through his life, Pearl arrived. They got along as well as possible even though she became the "boss".

http://cellar.org/bean/beanperlkiss2.jpg

But even though she sometimes made his life harder, it seemed, he would pine for her when she wasn't there, and they got along as well as two dogs will, never ever fighting.

http://cellar.org/bean/beanperldeck.jpg

In the summer they would lie together on the deck, sunning themselves endlessly. What a life.

http://cellar.org/bean/beanperljoe.jpg

And always an ambassador for his breed. My friend Joe came to visit, and when he returned home he decided he wanted, then finally got, a Boston Terrier.

http://cellar.org/bean/bean7.jpg

And then of course he got older, and put more white on his face, and his outdoor sessions got shorter.

http://cellar.org/bean/beanold.jpg

And by his last month, he had eye problems and couldn't see anything beyond about ten feet. He had arthritis in his leg, a bad back. And then he had a seizure. It turned out he had an inoperable brain tumor.

He went on anti-seizure medicine, but he was half the dog he had been, after that. It was a great favor to me. For his last two weeks he lost some awareness. His world got smaller for a while. But it gave me one last chance to call his name and have him come, one last chance to chase that ball.

Two days ago he had a set of seizures. If you've ever seen a dog have a seizure, it's horrible. After he had multiples the vet decided to put him under for 12 hours. This is an attempt to "reset" the brain a little. But when Bean came to, yesterday morning, he had a heart failure, and then couldn't breathe normally, and couldn't get enough oxygen to his brain. I gave the call to put him down.

http://cellar.org/bean/bean.jpg

I will never forget you, my first boy, my friend.

Your dogs used to crack me up when I came over. I'm very sorry for your loss, UT.

for what it's worth, I'm sorry for your loss. sounds like he was a great dog.. and that's saying something.

I am moved to tears. That was a beautiful tribute, UT.

I'm sorry UT. Bean was an awesome little guy, full of spunk, and all the best things that bostons are. Big dogs in little dog bodies.

My thoughts are with you and Pearl. Give her an extra hug tonight.

Bean sounds like he was a great dog. Sorry, UT.

hey, bummer, Tony. just remember: all dogs go to heaven.

sorry, man.

Losing a cherished pet is never easy. You have my condolences.
This was sent to me after our little cat Princess was run down by a hay mower. It never fails to choke me up a little.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Damn, Silent...that's awful! :(

Seeing all those pictures of Bean and reading your tribute made me cry. Even though I only met him a few times, he changed my life forever, since if it hadn't been for Bean, Joe & I wouldn't have adopted our own precious dog from Boston Terrier Rescue in San Francisco. I just thought Bean was the most adorable dog ever and wanted one of my own! It's hard to believe he's gone... however, I'm sure he had the best life a dog could ever hope for.

It probably wasn't too bad for her. Heard a loud noise, got down low and ....

The hard part was trying to find the parts of her to bury them.

My condolences. Pets are harder to lose than people because of their constant unconditional love. Looks like Bean had a great life while he was here.

UT - Sorry for your loss. It is always very hard to lose a cherished pet...but he will always be in your thoughts..

We had a cat that had seizures. It is the most unbelievable story. This cat belonged to someone my husband knew from work. Well it seemed the cat had seizures and the guy didn't know what to do. He tried to blame it on the cat food but the cat food company said that in order to prove it he would have to ship the cat to them so they could do an autopsy. He wasn't going to do that so he kept the cat for a couple more days until the seizures got out of hand. I guess the guy thought the cat died so (get this) he put the cat in one of those big black garbage bags and put it in the dumpster. A while later he heard it meowing and got it out. Still not knowing what to do with it. Well my DH and I talked it over and decided to take the cat in (we had to others at the time). We had the vet come and put the cat on phenobarbitol and the cat was fine for many years.

Can you believe that story! (I swear its true)

Dear Undertoad:

Sharing like this is said to divide the burdens and multiply the blessings.

Your tribute to your friend and companion is very moving. I loved reading about your play and seeing his happy face. It really is a blessing to me to see a story of such a happy life. Thank you for sharing it with me.

And I share your grief, too. I, too, have had to make the call to put down my dog, a faultless friend of 14 years, whose only mistake was to get old. The pain was awful, as I held her head through her last breath. I grieve with you UT.

I've been in it and through it, eventually. Now you're in it, and you'll be through it too. Eventually. But you're not alone, despite how it feels now. Your family and friends surround you, and, of course, Bean's in your heart forever.

I never knew Bean, but I love him.

Sorry Tone. While I was reading this my old dog came over and laid down on my foot...

I am sorry to hear this, UT! I am not a dog person, but reading this thread might have converted me. I might look for a boston terrier, now. Great that you provided such a loving home for Bean. Though I never knew him, I will miss him too.

Beautiful tribute.

Sr. UT,
I saw my first dog get run over, my second dog and my first cat given away, and my father's first cat I had to take to be put down. I miss them all, and appreciate you sharing one of the saddest times in your life with us. Spreading the pain around helps ease the load and helps me remember all the good parts about my pets. Thank you.

Aww. Bean.
I'm glad that you were there to love Bean along. He was a sweet boy. Kiss the Pearl, she'll be lonesome for the little guy, too. Take care T. xxxooo

Beanie was a great dog and a fine companion to UT. It was comical to watch him "chase" the ball. It wasn't really chasing of course - more like bull-dozing. Head down, pushing the ball with his face, running at top speed - I have no idea how he could see where he was going...

Even funnier was watching him chase the walnut. It was just the right size for him to pick it up and carry it back to you.

Beanie also loved to "sing" happy birthday. As soon as you'd started singing to him, he'd join in and howl along. Of course you could get him going with any type of howling noise... we had quite a few conversations, Beanie and I.

At night, when everyone was settling in, you could count on Bean for a good foot washing. Although it was a slightly slimey experience, there was something oddly relaxing about it. When he was all done, he'd find just the right spot under the covers (usually somewhere near the small of your back), curl up, and sleep right next to you for the entire night. In the morning you knew it was time to get up when beanie got his morning face rub.

Actually his morning face rub was one of the rare times he readily volunteered for extended touching. It was so funny, he'd come over and hang out with you, walk all over you, but if you reached down to touch him, he'd sidle away and sit just out of reach and give you that "don't touch me" look.

He was definitely one of a kind; a unique spirit. A lover of cookies, ball runs and face rubs, and to the end, a faithful friend to Tony.

Good work by you Beanie boy, we will miss you!

i'm sorry for your loss UT. i still feel the loss of my favorite dog 2 1/2 years ago. what a great tribute to a friend.

I had two dogs at different times when I was growing up. They were each completely different but lovable in their own way.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Thank you everyone!

Oh damn, Tony. Losing a good friend is the worst. I'm really sorry you have to go through this. I also feel like an idiot for sending you that dog video earlier tonight. :o

Tony,

Thankyou so much for such a wondeful, personal and beautiful tribute to your little mate.. Whilst reading it i at first was wooed by his cuteness, then actually laughed aloud at him in the snow! what a cutie! then i awwwwwed at his "throne".. and then i got so teary and sad at his end... and i NEVER cry.. so thats something!

Thankyou for sharing this with us, i hope that when i die someone does something like this for me!!

Last week i lost ALL my animals (except 4 cats) . On saturday morning i woke up and went into the backyard and found all our animals maimed by foxes. Such a waste as they only ate one or two things but killed the entire lot. I especially miss our "mr and mrs duck" - my SO and i had them given to us when they were ducklings, and lived with us ever since.. they were free range and would follow us to the clothes line every afternoon and would try to eat my pants and sniff all my laundry.. then waddle back to the house with me.. just the cutest!

This thread has inspired me to do a tribute for Mr and Mrs duck.. i think i will paint them on a canvas and dedicate it to them.

Tony i hope your sadness eases soon, Bean will always be there in your heart - sleeping on the lounge, and sunbaking on the deck.

*wiping tears off of keyboad before typing* I too am very sorry for your loss. I remember you posting pictures of them in mid-catch of dog treats...those were a riot. Thanks for sharing, it reminded me of my first dog, a stray that my parents took in. I held her paw and talked to her while the vet injected her with 'put to sleep' medicine. I hope the pain doesn't last too long.

Like StaceyV, I didn't have the honor of Bean's acquaintance, but I feel as though I know Bean from that loving tribute. I am so sorry, UT.

Sorry to hear about your dog man. I felt sorry when my ex-wife gave away my dog, but at least I knew he was alive. It takes a long time to get over a loss like this. I still think of the dog I had growing up and think of him fondly.

Beautiful way to send your dog off, UT. I'm sure he felt the love you obviously had for him all the way to the end.

Tony, I don't know what to say. What a beautiful and loving tribute to Bean. I now return the compliment you once paid me when I wrote about my familiar, TC.

Your humanity shines through brightly indeed in your tribute to Bean. Make sure you take a ball with you when you pass through the veil. He'll have been waiting a long time to play with you once again.

What a fantastic little dog! Obviously you two were great friends Tony, I'm so sorry for your loss.

UT, Dude I am SOO sorry for your loss !!!!
Here are a couple of pics posted of him over the years I have been around here that i thought are cool ,
The first is a movie poster some body made ,
The second is Bean in over his head , I have seen our Boston do the same thing , we go float and hang out on the Spring river here in Arkansas , there is this spot that is PERfect for launching with an inner tube , Olliver saw me step in and thought " well DAD can do it so I can to !!!" In he jumps , thankfully we have a life preserver jacket for him , I dove in and SAVED him , I still have to do it every now and them , BOLD little dude !!!!!

Ahhh, Fuck. Fuuuuuck. When did it get so dusty in here? Where did all this fucking dust come from?

I just want you all to know that this post didn't even touch me a little bit. I could totally care. I didn't even know the dog, could care less.

It's just really, really dusty in here.

(sniffle)

OR maybe allergies. If anyone doubts dust, I'm going with allergies.
Ugh, so now I feel compelled to tell my abbreviated story; here's the readers' digest version.
Had a dog, golden retriever, for about 15 years. Loved that dog more than any person I've yet met.
Anyhoo, One xmas I'm staying at my parent's house and my Dad wakes me up at some unGodly hour and say's the dog's gone off to die and we have to deal with this shit before my 2 younger sisters get wind of it and hopefully they won't notice. Thus the Disney story of "The Dying Dog Cover-up So We Don't Ruin Christmas."
We find the dog at the corner of the property and clearly her time has come. She's "gone off to die". Wake up the Vet on x-mas day. Bring in the dog. Vet says "yeah, it's time." Dad asks if I'm cool. I'm totally cool. Vet whips out needle to mercy kill my best friend in the world.

Suddenly, I'm not so cool.

I wuss out and opt to go wait in the minivan. I didn't realize that I'd be able to see out the windshield, through he front door of the vet office, down the hall to see the the vet give the black shot of death and watch my buddy quiver a little and then lie still.
Keep in mind, I'm like 23 at this point. I oughta be able to handle this.

Dad loads the dog in the back of the van and gets in the drivers seat. He looks over at me. "You OK?"
(Keep in mind I'd pretty much rather voluntarilly stick my foot in a fucking bear trap as have my Dad see me cry). But I'm a fucking mess.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I say, looking out the passenger window and refusing to look at him.

He pauses for what seems like forever and drives us home.

We're on a schedule. We've got to get the fucking dog in the ground before my little sisters wake up and this event ruins christmas. So here we are, my older brother finally woke up and we're hiding behind the shed digging a grave on Christmas morning. Digging our asses off. "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas..."

A caddillac of a grave for the dog. Digging, digging, digging. Has to be the worst Christmas ever. Meanwhile, the dog next door is barking incessantly. Non-stop, unbelievably annoying. I'm totally depressed and making damn sure I don't cry in front of people. Dad comes out to check up on me and my brother.
""How's it going?"
"We think we're done. How's it look?" It's about 2.5' wide; about 4 or 5 ' long and clearly deep enough. Dad looks at it critally, the neighbor dog still incessantly barking.
He rubs his chin for a sec and decides, "Go down about another foot and we'll throw the fucking other dog in there, too."

Thank god for humour.

I am so sorry for your loss.

damn UT, sorry bro. i lost my lab 2 years ago and I think about her every day. i know it's hard but bean is chasing that ball with casey! (just a little game of keep-away!:D)

Damn, I'm so sorry for your loss UT. I know what it is to lose a beloved pet. Your tribute even made me cry (a little). And that's a rarity. I think it's good that you were thre at the end, it's a kind of closure for you. Bury Bean close by and visit him from time to time. Plant some flowers for him to smell. Never forget a true friend.

Brian

The House Dog's Grave

I've changed my ways a little; I cannot now
Run with you in the evenings along the shore,
Except in a kind of dream; and you, if you dream a moment,
You see me there.

So leave awhile the paw-marks on the front door
Where I used to scratch to go out or in,
And you'd soon open; leave on the kitchen floor
The marks of my drinking-pan.

I cannot lie by your fire as I used to do
On the warm stone,
Nor at the foot of your bed; no, all the night through
I lie alone.

But your kind thought has laid me less than six feet
Outside your window where firelight so often plays,
And where you sit to read--and I fear often grieving for me--
Every night your lamplight lies on my place.

You, man and woman, live so long, it is hard
To think of you ever dying
A little dog would get tired, living so long.
I hope than when you are lying

Under the ground like me your lives will appear
As good and joyful as mine.
No, dear, that's too much hope: you are not so well cared for
As I have been.

And never have known the passionate undivided
Fidelities that I knew.
Your minds are perhaps too active, too many-sided. . . .
But to me you were true.

You were never masters, but friends. I was your friend.
I loved you well, and was loved. Deep love endures
To the end and far past the end. If this is my end,
I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours.

- Robinson Jeffers, 1941

Godspeed, Bean.

Holy crap, Windhund. That was beautiful.
Lost my Buddie to cancer two years ago, after being my bestest friend for 13 years.
Sounds like a lot of people here understand and sympathize with your pain UT.

Windhund, that is a glorious tribute. Thanks for sharing it. Kind of a doggie version of "I'm not there". Actually that's appropriate for Bean too ...

Thank you windhund. Very very moving. And all true.



wolf, thank you, too. Likewise. Despite the upward emotion of these two beautiful poems, I feel a wave of menalcholia bearing down on me.

I thought I was a tough Marine until just now when I read Bean's tribute.
I wept bitterly. Come to find out I ain't so tough after all.
You are one helluva guy, U-Toad......What a heart.
My sincere condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. Makes me wish our dogs could outlive us, so as not to have to go through this. Hang in there, friend.