eating disorder accusations
 

:rant:
I am naturally thin. Sometimes, I am way too thin, other times, I'm at a healthy weight. I go up and down 10-12 lbs, usually up in winter and down in summer. I am a lot more active in summer and I'm not stuck in the house with nothing better to do than eat...

I have many strange food intolerances, so I never ever eat the employee meals at work. I can't have anything with wheat or grains in it so it's easier to just eat at home. I also get very tired after I eat a meal, so I bring apple slices to work because they'll give me energy without filling me up and making me tired. I always get home starving and I eat a huge meal, like 4 potatoes and a steak, something like that.

Anyways, I would tell you guys if I puked or starved myself, cause you know I'm honest like that- But I DO NOT. The ONLY time I let myself go hungry is at work, because I don't want to get tired, but I'll still snack on apples and drink coffee with real cream.

I couldn't make myself puke if I tried- I DID try one time, because I took an energy supplement and started to feel like I was gonna have a heart attack- so I tried and tried to get it out of my system- and you know what? I simply am unable to make myself puke.

So there you have it- I never starve myself and I never make myself puke. I don't use laxatives or diet pills and I eat plenty of carbs every day.

So WHY THE FUCK does everybody think I have an eating disorder????

I am SO SICK TO DEATH of hearing either " :headshake ooooh, stacey, you're so thi-in! :eyebrow: :3some: :eek2:" or " :D OH! Stacey, you look so GREAT! It's so GREAT that you gained weight! You were really too thin...You should stay at this weight. And you're still really skinny! ;) "

WTF? WHY? WHYYYYY?
I hear this from people at work. And it's not once in a while- it's every friggin day. And I won't even go there to eat, because I swear to God, at least 6 people will creep up to see what I'm eating, like it's a big event.

Why are people so nosy? And why is it that just because a girl is skinny, she must have an eating disorder :3some:.

It's RUDE to talk about someone's weight if they're fat, but why is it that I have to hear about MY weight every fucking day?
Why are people so fucking obsessed with it? If I hear one more comment about my weight, I will punch someone. How can I make it stop?
What do I say? I don't want to be rude, I have to work with these people...

I've already tried to explain my food allergies- I think they believe I'm making it all up as part of my sick little eating disorder. Maybe I should bring in my allergy test results from the doctor? Then it would make it look like I'm overly concerned about their accusations and I must really have a problem...

I can't help it that my parents were both thin, or that my gluten allergy prevents me from eating most junk foods. I eat potatoes, butter and steak or fish every day, not to mention the fact that I put butter or oil on every meal and I love to drink red wine...I know I take in at least 1800 calories everyday.

I am so innocent of having an eating disorder, it's not even funny.

UGH! What would YOU do or say?
I have attached a very recent picture so you can see for yourself...

you're not that stupidly thin (though the jacket makes it hard to tell) it's just that there are so many fat people. I always worked on the ballpark 'if you can count all the ribs it's time to eat something'.

The previous picture is the weight that everybody is praising endlessly. I was about 7 pounds thinner last summer.
This pic is from the summer before last- you can see my stick legs and twig arms...

Not to try to change the tone of the thread too much, but how can having no gag reflex and being a meat eater be a bad thing?

Seriously though, unless any of those people pay your bills or or go home with you at the end of the day what does their opinion matter?

Just simply tell them to shut the fuck up, do their job, and leave you alone about it.

oh, I wish it was that easy, but like I said, I want to stay friendly with everyone. Everyone seems to like me at work, I get a lot of smiles and "Hi Stace!"s when I show up. If I need help, someone will always be a "team player" for me. I have to stay positive with whatever my comeback is. I've known everyone there for 5 years and I don't want to hurt their feelings either.

I wish I could shrug it off, but it bothers me so much! How would you like to work with people all the time knowing that they're analyzing your weight and secretly pitying you for having an eating disorder- when you DON'T HAVE ONE?

It does matter to me.

Yea. Course not.

Next time the ask you go for an option that will shut them for a while: 'cocaine is a hell of a drug'.

The only way I can see of really getting them off your back would be to next time it comes up, bring up the medical stuff, same stuff you told us, can't eat wheat etc, makesit hard to keep a steady weight etcetc...if that doesn't put them off it you don't have much hope.

Whenever I have questions about how to deal with people I look to Cartman:

"Cartman: Okay, that does it! Why has everything today involved things either going in or coming out of my ass!? "

"Cartman: Don't call me fat you butt-fucking son of a bitch"

"Cartman: Yeah! I want Cheesy Poofs!"

"Cartman: Well God, I guess you got me again, didn't you? Yeah, that was a good one, God. Hope it made you laugh, you sick bastard."

"Cartman: What kind of side dishes will we be enjoying this evening with our frozen waffles? "

Did I mention that my ex-boyfriend's entire family was also convinced that I had eating disorder? Or that every single doctor I go to asks me if I have one before I tell them anything about myself, and it was something my shrink felt the need to talk about, too.

Sometimes I wonder if I have an eating disorder- I mean, I'm accused of it so much, I start to think, "hey, maybe I have a raging eating disorder and I'm in denial!"

But then I'm like "but I eat when I'm hungry, I don't throw up my food, I don't limit my carbs, I don't take pills, and I don't excercise. Hmmm."

Maybe I should binge five times a day and get really fat and then I'll never have to hear about it again.

Or maybe I should save every meal I eat for when I'll be around people, so I can showcase the fact that I'm eating.

Or maybe I should just say "screw my intestinal wall!!!" and eat what everybody else is eating- who cares if I get sick?

Eat what you want. Ignore fools. Simple path to happiness.

If you eat large amounts in front of people they'll just assume you're puking every time you go to the bathroom, even if you're quick.

Stace, those people are jealous. They are insecure about their own weight, so it makes them feel better to assume that you have an eating disorder. You should tell them you DO have an eating disorder...you just binge everytime you can. They don't know it, but when nobody is looking, you are scarfing down packages of doughnuts and potato chips. That would really irritate them.

Or those people could be genuinely concerned and just need to you demonstrate some emotional stability.

huh?

cheese

There are a given number of rude, self-appointed know-it-alls who feel it is their role in the world to pass judgement on the rest of us. They medicate their own self-loathing by trying to make everyone else just as miserable as they are. The best counterAttack is to refuse to feel badly about yourself and turn their comment into a compliment then, cut them with their own blade. Unfortunately, smacking the piss out of these walking inferiority complexes is not socially acceptable so our response is limited to words, body language and expressions. But you can do a lot with those three.

First, never dignify the comment by "defending yourself." Smile, look the person up and down to let them know that their physical inadequacies are on display for the world to see, then respond. But never, ever, show weakness - instead, you must strike back quickly and effortlessly to deflect the pain and self-doubt they desperately need you to bear right back at them. I think you can figure out which body language and facial expressions work best with these sample comments.

"Well, thank you for noticing."
"Thank you for pointing that out."
"I'm very comfortable with the way I look.... Not everyone is, you know"
"Maybe they should average us together to get one normal person"
"Who needs to carry a lot of extra blubber around wherever they go?"
"Yep, harpoons are the last thing *I* worry about"
"Some people are thin, some people are ugly.. its always something"
"Guys tell me they love my body.. do you get that a lot too?"
"Guys tell me they love my body.. when's the last time you heard that?"
"Overweight people ask me about that all the time."

I bet you could come up with some good ones yourself.

Its kind of amazing how a perfect stranger is so desperate to spread their inferiority around that they would blurt out a hurtful comment just so they can watch you bleed inside. Don't give them the satisfaction - with perfect confidence, strike back. Hard if necessary.

i think you should just screw with them.
- let a bottle of ipecac fall out of your purse.
-let them see you come out of the bathroom wiping your mouth like you had just barfed.
- ask if anyone has a mint - "i don't want to smell like vomit, you know"
- when anyone offers you a small piece of food look at them in horror and gasp - "do you know the amount of laxatives i would have to ingest if i ate that thing???"


my aunt works as a therapist at an inresidence eating disorder clinic. my wife and i have a lot of fun messing with her.

has anyone actually accused you of having an eating disorder, or is it possible you're mistakenly inferring it from otherwise innocent comments?

The one I got all the time was, "Smile! It's not that bad, is it?" Patronizing mumblemumblemumble grrrr. Apparently it wasn't enough that I abstained from ripping their tiny rocklike hearts from their Ambercrombie & Fitch exoskeletons, now they want me to SMILE ABOUT IT???

No, really. Apparently people mistook the natural non-tooth-showing hang of my face for unhappiness or depression. I'm forever accused of scowling, even when I'm completely happy. But I really don't think they're being jerks, and I've finally overcome the selfconsciousness that makes me feel like I have to walk around with a permanent rictus.

You can't control other people, but you can control your reaction to em. I never had witticisms at hand, the ones everyone has come up with here are good, though.

That's some funny ass shit. :lol:

I heartily agree with Beestie, mock them. I'd pay money to see you say the above line to someone. I, too, get the "You need to eat more" comments, and I've always said, "Yeah, but you should see what I look like without the methamphetamines."

Oh Noodle, I get the same damn thing about my facial expression- it's always "are you okaaaay?" And it's always when I'm deep in thought. I guess thinking makes me look like I want to cry, who knows...

To answer the question about actually being accused, yes, I have definitely been accused. My ex-boyfriend told me everything his family said about me, and they were dead set on that.
The girl at work who won't shut up about how GREAT I look and how I was too skinny before, and how GREAT it is that I gained weight- every single fucking day,
Has accused two other girls I know of having eating disorders. And she talks behind a lot of people's backs- so don't tell me that she isn't saying it about me!
She even had a conversation with one of the cooks about my weight and thank God I gained some weight. He told me later.

Yesterday, she mentioned it AGAIN, for like the fifth time this week.
She says "Stacey, I was talking with so and so about how pretty you look and good it is that you gained some weight."
I said :wow, I gain 3 pounds and everybody here is talking about it! You guys keep track of my weight better than I do!" And I tried to say it with a smile so she couldn't tell if I was being rude or not.

Like I said, I've known my coworkers for five years and I don't want to be a total bitch to them...

These people are obviously jealous of you, and when people get jealous, they want bad things to be true in order to "even the score." Sad but true.

There are so many overweight people in this country, and most of them will always be overweight. They see you and think "wow, I wish I had a bod like her," but instead of doing anything about it they order a Biggie Meal from Wendy's and spend all their time in front of the TV, on the computer, playing video games, etc.

So take it as a compliment, girl--the best revenge is living well!

no the best revenge is to set them up on a date with your friend who is really nice, but unfortunately has herpes.

just tell them that you got tapeworms from not cleaning your toilet for 3 years.

you could back it up with pictures.

:lol: now THAT might actually work!

Beestie had some great comments. Too bad I don't have the necessary situation in which to use them.

When I was pregnant, a guy I worked with had the nerve to actually tell me "Hey, I didn't know you were pregnant!" (at 6 months it was pretty obvious). I told him "Oh, you just thought I was REALLY getting fat...like I was sitting around eating doughnuts all day, didn't you?" I then laughed like he had told the best joke all day. He shut up.

Just for the record, as a guy, I can tell you that we can be pretty unobservant. One day he probably noticed you were pregnant, and said "hey, I just noticed you are pregnant." Dumb, but not mean.

Better for him to call you fat and you be pregant, than you be fat and he ask if you're pregnant ...

I suppose that is true. I didn't like this guy to begin with, so I wanted to embarass him, even if it meant embarassing me in the process. I am more difficult to embarass. (I realize that by saying that, I am asking for trouble!)

I hated the after-pregnant questions people would ask, like "Are you pregnant again?" It took me a while to lose a lot of that babyfat.

I also hated when people made comments about how hot I must have been when I was 9 months preg August 100+ degree weather. I wanted to make a hole in their heads with my fist. I did smack a few people for touching my tummy without my permission. A pregnant tummy is not a public touching spot. People don't get that! Sorry, that was a rant meant for another thread.

No, that's cruel and unusual revenge. And will be remembered for future use.

Case, I totally sympathise with you.
If I ever decided to have children (AFTER I quit smoking and got out of debt!),
I don't think I would ever leave the house because if I had people trying to touch me and rub my belly all the time I would think I would flip out.
All the hormones in my system probably wouldn't strengthen my self control, either.

Maybe it's because I'm over 6 foot tall and scowl at people that approach me, but when I was pregnant, *NO ONE* came up to me or touched my belly.

They would have lost a hand.

i'm a mere sprite compared to OC, but no one did this to me either....

I think I was just around too many people, back then.

I took your advice, Grant. Cheese and wine everyday for the last week- the perfect PMS remedy...Now maybe they'll accuse me of being pregnant and start rubbing my belly when I get back to work...

Test them and ask if they can tell, yet. See if they ooh and aah at your normal belly, as if they can actually tell. It might be kind of funny to see what they do. Or you could just tell them you are worried about it, since you didn't have pms. See how they react.

Actually, even if I DID get pregnant, I would hide it from my coworkers/boss because then I wouldn't be able to take a week off every month for my period!

Once again, LJ beats me to the punch.

I suggest that you reply:
"between the tapeworms and the TB, I just can't keep the weight on"
Then cough loudly and wetly, look at your hand, and then pat them on the back, smiling in a strange kind of way.

SWMBO is also rail thin, for a long time she was barely 112lbs. soaking wet and 5'-10". She got a lot of the same looks and comments from her friends and family.

She eats like there is no tomorrow. five times a day. I eat about 1/2 to 2/3 the amount of food she does in a given day. Calories don't stand a chance against her. They disappear like snow flakes on a wood stove.

Since the Bedwe'er was born she is able to keep it up to 134lbs.

YMMV :)

uh, what does YMMV mean? And 134 is the ideal weight for her. You're lucky she has such a great figure! (Whoever SWMBO is- don't know that one either.)
I found my solution in the cigarette thread! If I quit smoking, I'll gain 15 lbs and then they'll all shut up!!:)

Your Mileage May Vary.

She Who Must Be Obeyed. (I was about to say I had no freaking clue, and then I got it. From H. Rider Haggard's "She" and also Rumpole of the Bailey.)

I came late to this thread, but I know how you feel. I've never been over 112 lbs in my life (except when I was pregnant), and I'm 5'8". I hear the same thing. "You need to eat," "You're so skinny!" but I have as yet to be accused of having an eating disorder. No one who's seen me eat would dare say that. I eat like a pig--when I'm hungry.

I just tell them the truth--I have a fast metabolism, and always have. I'm not skinny because I'm a vegetarian. I wasn't always a vegetarian, but I've always been skinny. I could eat an entire large extra cheese pizza every night for a month, and probably not gain more than a couple of pounds. And it's not like I exercise or am continually moving around. I do neither. I think I'd be scared to exercise, except maybe to tone...

I currently weigh in at 104 lbs. Of course, I have small bones, too. My ideal weight is 130, but if I weighed that, I'd be waddling.

It'd be so nice to have curves *sigh* ...to be able to look good in a strapless gown or a swimsuit...but I comfort myself with the knowledge that I can eat ANYTHING I want, whenever I want, however MUCH I want, and I'll never have to worry about a weight problem (although being too underweight is as much of a problem as being too overweight).

And babe, I'd love to get to your weight. You look like what people would call "slender." You wanna talk about bony? Just ask TS about bony. I hate wearing short skirts or sleeveless shirts because I have chicken legs and bony elbows. And a bathing suit? HAH! Not unless I want to kill someone with my hipbones.

Don't bother explaining about the food allergies. Just say you were blessed with a fast metabolism. Tell 'em you ate before you got to work or something. Fake going to lunch. Or, you could put a sign on your desk that says: "Ask me about my tapeworm." *wink* That should steer them in the opposite direction....

This seems to be the time to share this tidbit with the class.

i weigh more than stacy and jinx together, each holding one end of ladysidhe's dismembered torso.

Thank you for that lovely visual, LJ! :p

Does that count anything below your shoulders?

Well then you're just lucky to have two thin parents. But I did notice you smoke. Now that's even worse for you. If you quit smoking, you'd probably gain 10-15 lbs. I've seen my very thin sister in law try it and that's what happens. So then she goes back to smoking. Stupid choice in my opinion. :mg:

Jupp, smoking does make you thinner. Especially noticeable with women. It has the effect of giving a kick of energy and suppressing hunger.

Weight means nothing, take a look at BMI. You don't look that twiggy to me (said the thin lanky fencepost) but as somebody said America is a land of fatties. In Europe we'd be normal to bulky.

As for the coworkers I think you should confront them about how they suppress their sorrows with food and detail al the negative health consequences with it. If you're the passive-aggressive type it would serve you well to say something before blowing up (never done that myself, nosir ;))

Wow, you just got here and already, most likely correctly, diagnosed me as passive aggressive. Nice job!

Welcome Jeb - I like you already.

Thanks :D I have been browsing this fine parcel of internet estate for a while, but nothing in depth. Maybe that will change as I'm finally moderately healthy again and my metal forum seems to be in the shitter as so many sites are these days.

I'll add that being a thin male is not a good thing. Aside from many women going after the big dumb jock type some women I know don't like the guy being lighter than them :-/

There's a BMI calculator you can try there. I end up smack dab in the middle with 21.0. Maybe such a number can help nicely refute any claims that you're purging yourself and possibly strike up the notion that your accuser(s) could indeed be overweight :)

24.4
I'm normal! My piseyekiatrist will be so happy.

Neat link. Never saw this before.

I'm 19.3

I'd have to lose 7 pounds to be underweight, or gain 45 pounds to be overweight. I always thought I was skinny, but this says I'm normal. Go me!

18.9- whew, I just made it!!

And I cannot STAND jocks. I actually like skinny guys. Even really skinny. No geeks, but a skinny skinny musician or foreigner or something like that- something that makes them cool or different is WAY beter than a stupid muscle head.

25. I have one extra chin and a little spare tire. This thing wants me down to 160 lbs to be square in the middle of "normal". I look like a skeleton at 160 lbs.

16.6
I need to gain 12 lbs to hit 'normal'... probably won't do it though because then I'd have to buy new clothes (which is only fun when you're going down a size, not up).

Woah now, hold on. Why are you all shattering my belief that everybody on the internet is morbidly obese?

And I resemble that geek comment.

23.8. 5'2'', 130 lbs. My ideal weight for me is 120, leaves enough cushion for the pushin' without seeing ribs. Any less than that and hubby starts to whine, he likes my big 'ole butt. Jinx, I would have to be 90 lbs to hit a 16.5 BMI. At 90, I would die of starvation. OMG!!! I went to school with a girl (Kindergarden to college actually) that since she was 6 was skin and bones. Most photogenic girl/woman ever, absolutely beautiful face. Just never put any weight on, even well after puberty.

JInx is a vision. (I stole that line from liss, who had a cop say it to her)
But I do want to feed you sometimes. Worrying is what I do best.