Need advice on daughter's interest in Wicca..
 

My 13-year old step-daughter, along with her cousins and some of her friends, watches "Charmed" and has developed a lot of interest in Wicca and witchcraft. My husband and I aren't really freaking out, but we don't care for it either. I'm 99% sure it is a phase, considering her age and the TV show that got her interested. We hesitate to make too much of a big deal about it, since sometimes that just makes kids more determined to do whatever you tell them not to! So far we have just kind of rolled our eyes and let her know that we do not believe that her, or anyone she knows are real witches or have any special powers. So far it hasn't had enough influence on her to affect anything like her grades, changing friends, or stopping any other activities, she's not obsessed with it every minute of the day.
I would appreciate and consider any advice anyone would like to offer on this subject.....thanks!

I went through a similar phase when I was 13, except that my focus was Christianity. It didn't affect my grades, friends, or other activities. It was just something I thought about. After a while I got over it. Good luck

Lady Sidhe bought this book to help with Little Sidhe down the road. As a non-theist I'm inclined to dissuade her from any religion but pagan orthodoxy seems to be the least intolerant overall.

Raising Witches

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...67911?v=glance

"Editorial Reviews
Product Description:
More and more Wiccan families are looking for specific advice about raising their children in the faith. Here is the first book to give parents the means to teach Wicca in a more formal fashion than just "chatting with the kids" around the kitchen table. Featuring a Wiccan curriculum for each of the five age groups, Raising Witches offers a variety of sample lessons and both a structure and a prototype for readers who want to develop "Sun Day School" or "Moon School" classes. There's also the material you would expect-This book includes charms, spells, songs, and guided meditations in addition to practical ideas for educational activities. It includes a glossary and a recommended reading list as well. Featuring detailed discussions of how children grow and learn so that Wiccan parents can teach their Tradition effectively, Raising Witches finally gives parents the means to communicate the rudiments of their faith to their children."

About.com review: http://paganwiccan.about.com/cs/book...ingwitches.htm

"Guide Review - Raising Witches
Though the book is subtitled "Teaching the Wiccan faith to children", the material in the book would be appropriate for pretty much any Pagan path. It's not so much about teaching specifics, as it is about raising your children in a spiritual environment and making them conscious of the Divine in the world around them. The tone of the book is helping your child to develop their own strong identities and to have a healthy relationship with their parents. There are good parenting ideas here that are not religion related at all. Many of the structured lesson ideas are geared towards teaching a group of children, but most could be adapted for use with a single child."

Mine was too, at 13. The biggest difference I'm seeing with Wicca is that I didn't suddenly start believing that I had a third eye in the middle of my forehead that was very sensitive, and that I had special powers to move objects and make people do things unwillingly. Maybe helping these kids discover what Wicca truly is about may be a good thing, because I don't think they really know. (I would learn much more about it myself at the same time.)

Try setting up some good double blind tests on the spells. ;)

:devil:

:thumb:

this is a really touchy one. i think the most prudent course of action at this point would be to gather the whole family together and invite a local pastor to join you. gang up on her, place your hands upon her body while screaming for the unclean spirits to leave this girl alone. this is to be immediately followed by beating her upon the forehead with the heaviest Bible you can find, until an imprint of the cross appears upon said forehead.


oooor, you could let her know that an inquisitive mind is a good thing and agree that if she really is interested then she has to learn the real facts of the belief system. and because you do want her to be well-rounded and see multiple points of view she must also study 2 or 3 other belief systems of her choosing.

ooor, you could turn the channel and let her know that she can be a witch just like the girls on tv, but only after she becomes a former fighter pilot/lawyer/general do gooder like the guy on JAG.

My experience in high school was that the kids who got into the whole witchcraft thing were feeling socially helpless, and were specifically looking for a way to make other people do things. They got totally wrapped up in the "spells" to make people love them, or cause people pain, etc., and had no real interest in the rest of it.

Of course, if your daughter has lots of friends who are into it too, it may just be a way to fit in socially in and of itself. But you might talk to your daughter about what she thinks other people would think about it--might reveal whether it's purely a personal interest, or if it's more in reaction to the people around her, either positively or negatively.

You may also want to check and see if any of the local covens have been on a recruiting drive in the school. No wait...

Sorry about that, flashbacks.

Seriously though, you may want to see if there are any groups in your area. Growing up eclectic would probably be a bit difficult and/or disorienting.

:lol:

:headshake

I'm going with this!!
[quote][quote=Happy Monkey: Try setting up some good double blind tests on the spells. [/QUOTE]

i have a lot of female friends who watched The Craft and went though the same thing, they all seemed to come out of it just fine.

You could tell her that if she really wants to pursue it she'll have to practice 30 minutes daily and show her achievements from time to time. Nearly guaranteed that she'll lose interest quickly. :lol:

Well, my witchly indignation is sure as Hel rising ...

Would you guys be cracking jokes about this if the young lady were asking for copies of the Jesus book ... oh, wait, you would. Okay, so that's fair at least ...

Wicca is a religion, with a growing number of adherents. Some of them are even sensible people. I have met a few. It is one of a variety of pagan paths that are gaining (some say regaining) popularity.

What the girls on Charmed are doing isn't Wicca. Neither was The Craft, although both lifted convenient and theatric looking elements from the religion.

Spells are prayers ... so there isn't much differnce between praying to God that so-and-so notice me and take me to the dance and going through a lot more dance steps to make the same request of multiple Gods/Goddesses. What's important is that your daughter learn that this is a religious path, rather than a source of power and control.

Most reputable teachers will not take a student under the age of 18 ... that's a long-established tradition, mostly to avoid any freaking out parental issues ... or in some cases charges of statutory rape.

There are sexualized elements of the religion, and there are some unscrupulous bastards (and bitches) out there that use sex as a means of power and control.

There is a lot of information available on line, much of it repetitious ... so are many of the books available, incidentally. Everyone has their favorites. I usually suggest two of Scott Cunningham's books ... Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner and The Truth About Witchcraft Today. The second book I think would be particularly useful for you to read.

Kids being kids, the more you restrict her from learning about something, the more interesting it might become to her.

wolf - i think my post was more in line with making fun of christians (and remember, i am one.) more than pagans. the second part of the post was serious though. if she is going to start learning about religions, she needs to look at more than just one. just like shoe shopping, you need to make sure you get the one that fits.

I thought I phrased it to indicate that I was cool with what was being said ...

OOOHH. you expected me to be able to comprehend ENGLISH.

yeah, sorry - i was a bit spacy last night and misunderstood. :o

Senor, tu vives en el Arizona. Necesita que comprender espanol, gringo.

no habla

tu madre es una...

see? i know the important stuff.

Nessicito hacerle por favor un examenacion del recto. Comprende Ingles?

We used to have a phrase book for simple medical Spanish. This was the only useful sentence in the book.

wicca isn't bad,
 

I've been into the studdy of wicca scince I was 12, oh my goodness boy am I old! At first for me ot was just a phase, something I showed of to my friends, but then I met a women who was a true witch, when I told her i was wiccan and she began to ask me questions that I didn't know the answers to, I fealt like what you may call a poser. But I began to study it, and to really BELIEVE it, and its not dark and evil like people think it is, its the study of nature, and helping, casting spells and preforming rituals for things like healing a friend who is sick, or partAY-ING with the lost loved ones of the past one more time. It's the celebration of life, and not the worship of the oh so sacred death. It's the teachings and learnings of appreciating a breath of clean air (with the way our economy is t may not be around long so appreciate away! :p ) If anything at all yo should encourage your daughter in this study, it may lead to a future in the Peace Corps. also in wicca there are different types of beliefes, really if you poke at it a bit Wicca is more a philosophy (excuse my spelling please, I never learned to spell very well) then a religion, this is because there are different ways to practice it, in Wicca there is often seen a God a Goddess and A child, sometimes onle a God and Goddess, different combinations of things. If your family is as some people put it 'A traditional Catholic Family' or anything like that, she can incorperate that into the religion. My best friend Worships the lord as the God, Mary as the Goddess and Jesus as the child, and on his altar he has a statue of Jesus and Mary, and A candle for the lord. He feels exetremely close to them, and he didn't want to give them up when he converted. It's a choice, and besides if you don't want her to do it, she may end up practicing in secret anyways, but I'm only reasuring you, you have nothing to worry about. But just to let you know, from my description you should be able to tell Wicca is exetremely different from that TV show, although it is a very interesting one isn't it... I'd love to be able to teleport and Zap things and stuff, that'd be pretty cool... lol

Dear, you're 18.

Not that I have any greater authority or better directions on the path to enlightenment than you, or anything like that, but I've been involved with Wicca and other alternative religions for longer than you are old. So has at least one other person here.

Yeah, but wolf? You're like Yoda. The Force is with you.

That does help.

BH - What you are experiencing is an increasingly common concern in the world today (as has been pointed out in a couple of different ways). First and foremost, I would advise you ask yourself *why* you are concerned.

Non-Christian religions are dismissed out of hand and stigmatized by the predominantly Christian society in which we live, shunned as being everything from misguided, eccentric humanism to outright service of Satan. However, sensible people such as yourself can easily look at the evidence at hand and decide whether or not a reasonable course of study and practice is being undertaken by your child.

First...if your child is claiming to go around casting spells on others to get something that *she* wants - she's not learning properly. If she appears to be masking other sociological shortcomings by becoming a witch, she's not learning properly. If she drops all her other friends, withdraws, starts drawing pictures of Beelzebub on her bedroom floor...*then* you need to step in and get some counseling.

On the other hand, if your daughter keeps her grades up, continues to be socially adept and doesn't start becoming outright delusional, then consider that she might be growing up and beginning to make decisions on her own that truly reflect her increasing sense of empowerment in her own life and the world as she sees it. For young girls especially, Wicca is an attractive path, and rightly so. It is a religion of female empowerment and responsibility, a religion which reveres both goddess and god. It is a path of reflection and discipline, of learning and, yes...faith.

Wicca is indeed a valid religious path. Like any other religious path, it involves belief and visualization of things that others might not see (Christian example - big serious invisible man in the sky...and son). Wicca, however, involves some more concrete things at its core. It involves a reverence for the Earth and all of Creation. It involves knowledge of the bounty of Nature, her plants and stones and energies. It involves respect for your fellow beings and other living creatures. It involves tolerance and acceptance of different races, gender preferences and religous paths. You'll never have a Wiccan knocking on your door at 8:30 on a Saturday morning trying to sell you magazines or insisting that you are going to writhe in eternal agony if you don't believe what they believe.

The most critical thing, IMHO? Find your daughter a good teacher. I can probably help you with this to some extent as I have a couple of contacts in your home state, and could possibly drum up a good class or two for her. Use the Web, but use it with a grain of salt...there is a great deal of incredibly stupid crap out there. A good starting point is www.witchvox.com. The operators of this, the largest and most popular of Pagan web sites, are vey grounded, educated and extremely pleasant people who dedicate themselves to the dissemination of sane and accurate information.

The same codicil about quality goes for books. There are both good ones and drivel. Our coven degree system maintains a good reference list of required reading (for our own members, that is - we make no claims on the contents being the be-all or end-all), and I'd be happy to send it to you.

My wife and I have run a coven for many years now, and my wife is only the third teacher of the fundamental Wicca classes here in KC which go back some 20 years now (and both of the other teachers are our very good friends). Most of our discretionary time is concerned with spirituality through Wicca, serving our local alternative religious community, and providing open public access to rituals and community socialization on the eight major sabbats of the Pagan year. All this to say that I have more than a little experience with all of this, as does Wolf.

As with any undertaking your children may become involved in, parental involvement and attention is essential...even if you don't approve or agree. Only *you* will know if your child is safe and sane. If you need counseling or advice, or simply to talk about what's going on so you can be more well informed, there are a few people here on The Cellar who will be more than happy to serve as a resource for you.

The third eye thing is a derivative of Hindu practices, based on the Chakras of the body. There's a lot of crossover with Wicca and other practices. That being said, "Charmed" is *not* Wicca...it isn't even witchcraft as practiced by our ancestors. It is fictional television.

I have met several young people who became interested in Wicca via "Charmed", "The Craft" and "Practical Magic". Although elements of Wicca exist in all of these entertainments, *none* of them reflect the truth of the matter. However, serious-minded individuals have come to Wicca through these harmless amusements and grown into serious practitioners.

My son's girlfriend calls herself a "neo-pagan" and today my son asked me what that is.

It seems she doesn't even know or can't explain it.

*sigh*

Ouch. Will you be explaining it to her? Starting with the word "neo"?

Well, there was recently a spat that I'll write about in a new thread in a moment, but the the short answer is I will explain my views on the subject if it comes up.

She's one of those people that LIVES by astrology and tarot, rather than using it as a guide.

I will, however, educate my son on the proper use of tools and various methods of divination and spell casting. More than likely he'll be interested for a few days, then when he realizes he's learning something, his interest will wane.

I think that makes her a new age whack-job rather than a neo-pagan.

It's hard to tell the difference without all the pertinant information. What does she drive?

And, more importantly, what do the bumper stickers say?

Not to be too terribly critical, but you're a self-described "...witch, who believes in God(tm), and is a literalist creationist..."

I'm not seeing where you're qualified to point anyone in a sensible direction regarding a consistent path to enlightenment.

She doesn't drive, so no car or bumperstickers.

My path is consistant, it just took some time and lots of years of study to figure it out. My being his parent makes me qualified. In fact, it makes me uniquely qualified. See, I have done my homework and lots of research and followed several different paths, so unlike some, I have a better understanding of different belief systems.

I think I have well thought out and sound reasons for my beliefs, and there are many many other "Christian Wiccans" out there. It's not like I just made this shit up like Joseph Smith or something....





edit: for clarity

Um, everybody made this shit up like Joseph Smith or something...

Joseph Smith was just a lot more obvious about it.

So she found out I used to be a High Priestess of a coven and wants me to teach her and her friends "how it all works" because all they know is "stuff they learned from books and the internet".

*sigh*

At least she was credulous enough to know that there is more out there to learn.

And at least she is sensible enough to seek out a mentor with some experience. This is not a bad thing, even if you don't precisely believe the same things as you did when you did HPS duty.