Who will be the next Pope?
 

I nominate this man, and he gets the bulletproof PopeMobile thrown in for free:

Does it actually have to be bulletproof?

I'll nominate NBN ... I'm sure I have a relative somewhere who is a cardinal. So, NBN, what will you pick for your pope name?

As reported on Fox News, the pope has died, but only after he made several (?) appointments, promotions.

http://www.news24.com/News24/World/N...684172,00.html

still looking for death report link

The Vatican's server appears to be overloaded. I guess everyone is going straight to the horse's mouth for information.

Since I'm already going to hell for being a lapsed catholic, this won't make it hurt any worse ...

Oh, this is a bummer. I liked JPII. I thought he was very cute. I'm sorry he's dead. Poor guy-he was so sick and he tried so hard over Easter. May he rest in peace.
:blackr:

I nominate Bono. Since he didn't get the world bank gig, maybe he could head the church instead.

I can see it all, in my mind's eye ....

(screen gets wavery, focus resolves on ... pope's sickbed, Vatican City)

Cardinal in Charge of Making Sure the Pope is Dead: That is it. Il Papa has breathed his last. We must destroy his ring and papal seal, organize the College of Cardinals, and notify the faithful.

JPII: April Fools!!!

Hey! The Pope isn't dead yet!! What's going on? He's dead, he's not dead, he's dead....what is this? I can't rest until I know!

well, now there is no ambiguity for Schiavo, so we had to move on to the next one.

BRI.- I PROPOSE A MUTUALLY BENEFITTING RELATIONSHIP THAT WILL ENHANCE YOUR REALITY FROM ACTING OUT YOUR DREAMS. SPANK ME IN THAT THREESOME, ITS A CARDGAME.

Its like the freaking Kremlin over there. I'll second Bono once I'm sure I'm not getting called up to the show.

Wolf,

My papal name would be John Paul George Ringo I, naturally.

I'll throw my support behind you 100% ... if you run on a platform of bringing back nun habits and nun names ... Bring Back the Penguins!!! :tux:

Rome is with you on the penguins, but the first Papal Bull will be quite clear on the subject: it's <i>Nasty</i> habits and <i>No</i> names.

NOW he's dead.

Hello- are you out there for me today? I had difficulty reaching the Internet Website that brings me to precious you, admiring your every intelligence,today. How do you access you at this site when you do come on. There could be a trip to your location and some of those Finger foods you like so much in it for you. No promises.
How are you? Please help.-LOOK ME UP- ANTHONY FRANK CHIRICO

Hi Brianna- What is the significance to adding someone to a buddy list? Can I add you to mine. This is Anthony Frank Chirico.

Settle down Beavis

I don't know why but I feel embarrassed. :blush:
I never did or said anything to this guy--he just fixated on a name.
I feel so dumb.
Sorry.

Fear not, he has (thankfully) been exiled from the Cellar - reduced to a swirl of ions in the cold, uncharted, nether regions of cyberspace never to post here again.

for the next two days in the penalty box...

I heard on CNN that the Apostolic Conclave, the body of people that (s)elects the next pope, consists of 117 men. Of those 117 men, only three (!) have had any experience in this process. This is another perspective on the exceptional length of service of John Paul II.

Yep - I was not quite correct. I visited his profile and saw the status of banned before I saw the other thread indicating the 2-day duration. I just read all of his posts from start to finish and there's no way I'd let that brain-damaged cyberstalker back in here.

Huzzah!

Couldn't agree more.

From here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/religion/S...051841,00.html

"After the pope dies, an event confirmed when a senior member of staff strikes him on the forehead with a silver hammer and calls his baptismal name to make sure he is not just asleep, the cardinals will gather within a fortnight in the Vatican to deliberate in great secrecy on the choice of his successor."

This seemed so unusual to me. Naturally, I flashed on the Beatles' tune. I wonder what connection if any existed.

The Convlave will have about 4 ballots per day, and election requires 2/3 majority. The rules state that if there is no white smoke after 30 ballots, then the cardinals can vote to change the rules to make the threshold a simple majority, 50% + 1.

Wrong! If you're having trouble realizing your the victim, then that explains a lot. :eyebrow:

Anywho, What continent will Pope George-Ringo be from?

The front runners are from Africa and India. But because of the amazingly complete coverage of the intricacies of the process we are getting, I heard an interesting saying ...

"The man who goes into the conclave a pope, comes out of it a cardinal."

My first instincts said Africa. But the India choice is surprising. What kind of market penetration does the Roman Catholic Church have in India?! Interesting.

I also wondered if South America, particularly Brazil, had an inside shot, since it's the country with the largest population of Catholics.

I've heard a ton of coverage today and I didn't hear this piece. Not that that means much, but I confess I don't understand it. I mean, no man goes into the conclave a pope, by definition. What am I missing here? :confused:

More trivia, there's a Cardinal from the Philipines named Sin. Yep, Cardinal Sin.

http://www.tourism.gov.ph/explore_ph...do&province=80

Archdiocesan Museum of Manila
In 1987, His Eminence Jaime Cardinal Sin set up an eclesiastical museum with the theme, “History of the Catholic Church in the Philippines.” The collection includes ecclesiastical, liturgical, and various antique items.

The buzz has some leading candidates going into the conclave. The doors close, the world is locked out, and the College of Cardinals gets down to duking things out in a process shrouded in mystery, which may or may not involve arm wrestling. A bunch of time will pass, and the Cardinals will amuse themselves by tossing different things, including leftover pasta from lunch, into the Very Sacred Furnace to see what color smoke comes out. When they accidentally get something that burns white smoke, they panic and draw straws to be able to decide who is really going to be the pope. And so, the winner is not always who the polls pick going into the vote.

You know, just like our Presidency.

sick, twisted, and, um, funny in an I'm-embarassed-to-find-myself-laughing kind of way. :rolleyes:

I'm a professional. Don't try this at home.

I thought the nutty guy was fixated on marichiko. oh well.


I nominate a whale penis for pope. Already has a funny hat.

[quote=mrnoodle]I thought the nutty guy was fixated on marichiko. oh well.[quote]

Ouch.

waiting for the images.....

I just realized -- I'm the perfect candidate. I've got an Italian last name, which is close enough to Italian. And a Biblical first name, so I wouldn't even need to change my name. Woohoo, me for Pope!

Uhh, do you have to be Catholic? That could be a problem....

Pope 123. :eyebrow:

one of these guys...

haha i wouldnt know wich one i prefer! I guess Yoda would be the first pope that needs a popemobile on scale! :lol:

my fave...

Let's just Americanize the damn thing like everything else in the world that was decent but now sucks.

Aw shit, attachment did not attach. Gotta upload and link.

<IMG SRC="http://www.supdogg.com/popebracket.jpg" WIDTH="600">

OMG that's funny!
:p :mg: :lol: :cool: :biggrin: :sweat: :thumb: :biggrindu :lol2: :lol2:

Duke still sucks.

the communion wafer ad at the bottom made me spit pizza on the keyboard :lol:

Is there a version of that somehwhere that the text is large enough to read?

It looks like the image was resized within the page: if you click on View Image then the text size is much more reasonable.

Bruce - i took the family to Disneyland for a few days so I'm just catching up on the cellar.

i appreciate the nomination. if i get the nod for that cushy job, i'll definitely think about it. but can we do something about the hat? us bald guys sometimes don't look that great in hats.

:apimp: Something like this in a Papal Purple?

Thanks! That actually ended up working. I appreciate the suggestion. It hadn't occured to me to do that.

hmm
 

Someone old and European

Isn't that kind of...obvious

Never a sure thing when half the candidates could kick of natural causes before the voting is over. :biggrin:

Who will replace the Pope
 

Ummm ... why did you link to a login for your email account? I don't get it.

Where is Guido Sarducchi? In rehab again?

euh
 

i think ive seen him before....
http://www.francesco.biz/papa.jpg

wow, that's actually an uncanny resemblance.

What is it that lives inside you that delights in abusing the Faith of a quarter of the planet and ridiculing two men that have never harmed you, but that have spent their lives in brave dedication? Where inside you does this shameful glee come from?
Do you not recognize its smell? Do you not know its name?
Can you not feel how it is trying to kill anything noble in you?

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"If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me. " --- Christ
(John 15:18-21)

"Happy are you when people abuse you and persecute you and speak all kinds of falsehoods against you on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven." --- Christ
(Matthew 5:11-12)

"When persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we try to conciliate; we have become, and are now, as the refuse of the world, the offscouring of all things."
(St. Paul to the Corinthians)

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What have they done to deserve this from you? Even if you don't believe anything they believe, when was it you lost the most minimal and basic sense of decency towards your elders to speak of them like this?

Even if you believe all the accusations against every priest that's been accused of abuse, since when were you taught that justice allows you to tar innocents with the same feather? If one of your co-workers gets caught abusing his child, is everyone in your firm a child-molester?

What happened to you along the way to bring you to this, to be cackling like jackals circling in the night, afraid to approach the campfire, but balefully coveting anything that might stray away from it?

Is this who you wanted to be when you grew up?

Two men? Palpatine and Ratzinger? I guess the Emperor never harmed me, since he died long ago in a galaxy far far away.

As for Ratzinger, he's the Cardinal who tried to get John Kerry to be denied communion, so your scolding falls a bit flat.

Finally, any topic you're not allowed to joke about is also a topic you're not allowed to think about.

Ratzinger wears two hats...and has two faces.
One is the smiling pious Pope ministering his flock.
The other is the back alley politician....making deals, pulling rank, stifling dissent and bolstering the power of the Vatican. The hat and face he's worn for many years.

Do I recognize the smell? You bet your ass I do....and it stinks like any power hungry politician. Quotes of John, Matthew, Paul and Christ have no bearing on Ratzinger or the Catholic Church which has done more harm to Christ's teachings than any other organization.