Parents of Aspeger's (AKA Aspies) Children
 

Hey, anyone out there have a child dx'd with Aspergers Disorder? I already know what it is because my son was suspected 2 years ago and I have done extensive research on it....... But I'd like to meet others in a general type forum- (I like to discuss other things too) who are dealing with this also.

I have worked with some Asperger's Clients, and also know of the best-known Asperger's "success" story ... Temple Grandin.

Wolf-
Yes, Temple Grandin is an amazing individual. I am glad you know her story. It's comforting to me that in spite of this disability, many have overcome it to a point of being able to live happy and productive lives. My son is only 5 and I'm having trouble with the school district wanting to change or should I say drop his AU dx because they are so impressed with his amazing intelligence (they suspect he's highly gifted-I do too) and see him as only "odd or eccentric". I honestly think thats a mistake and wanted to find a place to discuss it with others who might be able to be more objective or knowledgable.

I think the youngest person with Asperger's I have interacted with was in her mid-teens, and I only saw her because of frequent violent behavioral outbursts.

I'm probably not your best resource for encouragement.

My son is autistic. I have a half-neice diagnosed with Aspergers.

Richlevy, however, is. I have had the pleasure of meeting his now-adult son. I have spoken elsewhere on The Cellar of my respect for Rich and the time, patience, and excellent parenting that he has exhibited in raising his son. Although young Mr. Levy is clearly a person with special needs, he is able to communicate and interact socially with a far greater degree of skill and ease than many of his peers. It can be said often enough ... a hearty well done to you, Rich, and to all of your family, since each of you have contributed to his success.

Thanks Wolf, but my wife Marci deserves almost all of the credit. She's had to be a stay at home mom, and she attends %75 of the IEP conferences at school. I get involved when she hits a roadblock and it becomes necessary to add the voices of both parents.
Having good teachers and 'wrap-around' services as early as possible is the key. My half-niece, actually my great-half-niece, was diagnosed recently. Her parents talked to my wife and got advice about IEP's and resources. They decided to mainstream her, and it appears to be working pretty well.

Autism and Aspergers are really a scale. If you look at the symptoms for Aspergers, social clumsiness, attention or obsession with hobbies or other interests, you realize that a case of mild Aspergers is pretty much what we would associate with 'nerd'. In fact there is speculation that some very smart people had some degree of Apsergers.

The reasons they refer to Autism disorders as a spectrum is that saying where Autism and Aspergers start is like looking at the color spectrum and saying 'red ends here and orange begins here'. You could look at the middle of the red band and everyone would agree that the color is red, but get towards the edges and no two people would draw the line in the same place.

My son Jeffrey is obviously Autistic. His voice and mannerisms are distinct so that anyone who has seen 'Rain Man' could probably figure it out in a very short time.

Asperger's is different in that high-functioning Aspergers, before there was a label, was simply 'eccentric'. There is a debate now as to whether Albert Einstein and Isaac Newtwon has Aspergers. There is also speculation about Bill Gates. Since high-functioning people with Aspergers are compulsive about their interests, it is possible for someone with high intelligence and Aspergers to be successful, since in many fields social skills are not necessary.

We live in a society where individuals are rewarded for their contributions. A person who thought he was a chicken would end up sleeping over at Wolf's workplace. A person who thought he was a chicken and could actually lay golden eggs would end up sleeping in the Licoln bedroom in the White House.

I don't know how old your son is, but if he is high-functioning I would see what his interests are. If he's interested in math or the sciences, then later in life he might end up in a work community that doesn't care about social interaction.

I'm working with kids on the spectrum, but have only been at it since September so I'm not gonna claim any expertise. We're using applied behavioral analysis to help them control the behaviors that are roadblocks to learning. I've been impressed with the results but it can be pretty intense. richlevy is pretty much the guy here with the wisdom on this stuff, unless someone else decloaks who has just been a lurker up to now.

Richlevy is dead on, people that are at the top of their fields operate on a slightly different plane where the line between odd and things like aspegers start is a funny one indeed, hell one psych thought I might be for a bit (and dyslexic, that's another fuzzy-as-hell one). I know a number of guys who word in tech R&D, some of which have been diagnosed with aspergers, some not. They're all rather odd fellows, living rooms littered with circuitry, thousands of massive dry textbooks, they work strange hours and for insane stretches but in the end, they're happy, productive people who are responsibly for many of the breakthoughs that keep our world hurtling forward, just a bit different. In terms of school, I don't know if it exists anywhere in the start but any kind of selective-entry academy you can find might be the most productive environment, brilliant kids with poor social skills are rarely going to fit in well with the chaff.

Richlevy clearly knows the ins and outs of raising a kid with those kind of symptoms, I wish you the best of luck and hope that your child reaches his full potential.

Speaking of "Rain Man" that's what I reference when trying to explain to others what
Asperger's looks and sounds like. While the character "Raymond" had it (IMO) on a scale of about a 9, my son is more near a 3.

It's hard for others to see it in my son unless they spend about a week with him. Its not "normal" for a child of 4 to have a complete emotional breakdown because he's been asked to cross the street in a different place than where he always does.

He didnt like making a transition to a Prek K class a couple of days a week- he resisted, resorting to writing a note to his teacher, "Pre K is not on my list of things to do today at school" (he was 4) He wrote it by himself. His teacher got a big chuckle out of that one, but he still had to go. It took us a couple of months to get him used to it. He had to be escorted and the aid had to stay in the room so he wouldn't completly meltdown. One of his primary complaints were, "There's too many kids in the class". (there were 23 including him)

Now that he's been mainstreamed into regular K classes- he's used to the class size of 22 now. But it took us months to get him to adapt to it. We also had to place him on the end of a table; so he feels less crowded without somone right next to him on both sides. Little things like this work wonders for him.

If they drop his AU lable, I wont be able to force the teachers to make small adaptations (in his EIP) for him that really help him a lot and keep him from melting down and being percieved as a behavior problem. IMO his high intelligence, amazing memory and early intervention and follow through has made it easier for Matthew to mask a lot of the Aspergers behaviors. I have watched him close his eyes, rapidly moving them back and forth and shaking his head (as if he were rewinding a videoptape in his mind) to look for similar situations to get a clue as to how he is "supposed to act" or what he is "supposed to say". I even asked him once if he was "rewiding his mind's video" and he told me, "Yes". He basically figures out what we want and he cooperates to the best of his ability.

Btw, I have heard about suspicion about Bill Gates being an Aspie. But I read a direct quote printed about a year ago where he addressed that. *Paraphrased, he said, He didn't have Aspergers disorder but if it makes parents of autistic children hopeful for their childrens' future he didnt mind people voicing suspicions about him.

I'll do do some research (when I have time this week) to see if I can find the exact quote and source.

Does anyone know how to use the spell check in this forum? I am a horrible speller and my grammar is just as bad. Sorry 'bout that. Looks like my son siphoned most of my brain cells while in utero. LOL

If you at least make an adequate go of the grammar and spelling thing, people won't bust your shoes too badly.

Unless you are zippyt.

Or a total lost cause like that mistic rythm idiot.

Wolf-

Cool, but if my mistakes are terribly annoying to anyone, they can always put my name on their ignore/block list. Because odds are, I'm going to make many more. ;)

Yes, but it is a prouder moment to make an ignore list for content, rather than outright obvious stupidity.

Some of us wear our ignore list entries with pride.

Thanks Jaguar and thanks to everyone who has replied.

*Still trying to manuver around this forum; figuring out the tools and how to use them. I hope I quoted the part of the post I want. <deep sigh>

I sometimes forget to use the preview option and go back to correct a typo, a usage issue, or something in between (Did my brain or fingers cause me to type "to" instead of "two").

Of course I find myself drilling into that kind of detail and making corrections, am I merely being a good writer or am I giving in to some facet of Aspergers. I've never been diagnosed, and if I did have it I would be a '1' on the kind of scale Messageboardjunkie describes, but I always wonder if it's there.

In general, unless the grammer, punctation, and spelling are so tortured that I get a headache trying to follow it, I'll generally ignore the flaws to read a message.

I personally would love to have something like autocorrect to check spelling and grammar in my posts. I could always type them in Word and cut-and-paste them in here.

Anyway, while I was on the subject of hidden disabilities, I would like to say that it would be interesting if there ever was a completely thorough assessment of the population so that we could finally understand how many people have some kind of disorder, from color-blindness, to dyslexia, ADD, ADHD, Autism, Aspergers, Bi-Polar, etc. The ranks of the functioning flawed probably vastly outnumber the 'perfect' specimens.

This is an interesting subject , early on i was diagnosed with dislexia and hyper active disorder , and put thru LOTS of testing , they found out my IQ was in the high 140's but i get distracted easly , oh and over the years i have figured out that i AM a social troll , all ways been a loner , I just do my own thing , my own way , but there IS a method to my madness , oh and don't bug me or ask STUPID and OBVIOUS questions when i am trying to figuer something out i get WEIRD ,, QUICK !!!!! :mad:
I have Allways suspected there was something else going on , this Aspeger's sounds sorta like me. I suspect i would rate about a 2-3 on that scale :yelsick:

Find your sons intrests and encourage and help him , if he does things differently, let him , he may come up with a better way , or a way that works beter for him . Focus , or should i say HYPER focus can be usefull .

Oh and don't worry Too much about your spelling and grammer , a few folks will mess with you , but they are just generly being uptight anal rententive butt heads :eek:

It would be interesting and I think I'd have to agree with that probability. My husband is color blind, my mother has personality disorders and my sister claims her "ADHD is kicking in". If I sit here long enough, I bet I can come up with other maladies for almost everyone in my extended family. LOL

That and more.........

Oops! Sorry Zippyt.......seems I still dont understand how to use the quote tools on this forum. Sorry about the misquote in the previous post. I'll get it right, eventually.

My 11 year old is borderline Aspergers, and after 7 years of special ed, he's finally transitioned into normal class (5th grade). It's a bumpy trip, but we're still chugging right along.

I read the short book "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" a few months ago by Mark Haddon. The main character is a teen with Aspergers and its interestingly written from his view, although I think they label him as autistic- he's pretty high on the spectrum, more Aspergers. The reader is left to piece together the emotional responses of the surrounding characters. I found it very interesting writing.

Looks like you got your wish:
US Govt. Introducing possibly mandatory psych testing for kids

Not that big pharma is the *slightest* bit in making sure every one of those dangerous psychologically damaged kids that don't watch MTV and don't like McDonalds is on drugs to make them 'right'.....

I think the mandatory mental health screening thing is scary in a "Brave New World" kind of way ... Ron Paul did try to have a requirement for parental consent added to that bill, but it didn't make it.

In case you're missing it ... your children are now shown to be the property of the state.

if you send them to public school.

Even if you don't.

The minute you applied for a social security number, they stopped being yours.

Not sending the kids to public school just limits the state's ability to indoctrinate them. Private schools still have to follow state-approved lesson plans.

Well, the bumpy ride took a turn for the worse this week.

My son had an incident in school Monday. For some (still unknown) reason, he sat down on the floor. He says it's because he didn't deserve to sit at the table. After repeated attempts and requests by his teacher to get him up, he was finally dragged to the office, and given 1 day in school suspension. The note came with a recommendation from his counselor to get him into therapy for "self esteem and anger issues".

Monday evening, I came home and all was fine. At 9pm, (his bedtime) he hands me the ISS notification. He waited because he knew that he was going to get into trouble and wanted to squeak that last bit of tv in before the hammer fell.

So he got 3 swats for lying to me and corner time for 2 days. Corner time means he sits in a corner of the living room, and cannot leave it without permission, and can't watch tv or play or generally goof off. He sits there.

Tuesday night he went to bed and didn't give me a kiss goodnight. This is unusual.

Last night was to be the last night of corner time, but he kept breaking the rules of the punishment, so he got assigned one more night. We spoke to him about how rules are important and that no one really likes to follow rules, but some are there for good reason.

He tried to go to bed without kissing me goodnight. My husband called him over and told him to give me a kiss goodnight so he came over and leaned on me. I asked him why he was so angry at me. He said "Because I'm adopted." "Why do you think you are adopted?" "Because of the way everyone treats me badly. Because my brother picks on me." I told him he is not adopted, and we don't treat him badly. We're trying to teach him what is and is not acceptable behavior because we love him.

He went to bed and started the loud crying "I want attention" cry, so Husband went in there and talked to him for awhile and I went to bed.

The guilt set in. Maybe my daughter's dad was right. Maybe I'm a bad mother. Maybe it's my fault he's this way. I didn't know I was pregnant until 5 months in, and I wasn't taking care of myself.

I didn't sleep well last night and I don't know what to do now.

OC, when I was about 7 or 8 I went through this phase where about once a month or so I would run away, and when asked why I would reply something to the effect of "Because I know that wherever I go I will be loved more than I am here." The first time I said it, it made my mother cry in front of me.

The point is, at the time I did not actually think that I wasn't loved, I was just mad about some punishment or rule or whatever and knew that telling my mother she didn't love me would hurt her. After awhile I grew out of it when I realized that even when I hurt her, I still didn't get my way. I don't know how old your son is, but it sounds to me like you're doing exactly the right things regarding discipline, and presenting a united front with your husband which is also really important.

He's 11. And I know you're right, but I don't think he did it to hurt me, I think he really thought he was adopted. He can't think metaphorically. He is a very literal person. If I said, "I've been beating my head into the wall" trying to do something, he'd look at my head to see if I was bleeding.

Here's a prime example:

I've told Bryan not to talk to strangers. He went to school and refused to speak to any of the children or staff he didn't know. He took me that literally. I had to explain that teachers and policeman and fireman were ok.

Then, a few weeks ago, he comes in holding a dollar. "Mom, I got a dollar!" "Where did you get the dollar from?" "From the man in the red car." "What red car?" "He was driving and he asked if I wanted a dollar and I said yes. He asked my name and I told him and he gave me the dollar and drove off." I was suitably alarmed. "Do not talk to that man again, and how many times do I have to tell you "Don't talk to strangers" before you listen! He could have grabbed you and hurt you." "But he didn't." "But he could have. So don't do it again, ok?" "OK."

And he was back to not talking to teachers again.

:|

My youngest son Sam, just turning 11 in a month, was diagnosed autistic at age 3.5.
Seriously so.

After the usual agonizing and crushing first few weeks absorbing the info that usually goes with that diagnosis regarding what his future would probably be like (they didn’t pull any punches, at both places we had him tested), we dried out, straightened up, and started doing what we could. Apart from the usual IEP and special ed stuff, which in my opinion is valuable, but just isn't anywhere near what is required, timewise, at school. No school system could afford what’s required, timewise…

What we did is what was done for me, and what I had done for his older brother (age 13 now). We taught him how to read by age 4.5. Using at first magnetic letters on a small steel blackboard. First letter recognition. "Find me the L." Then when he mastered the letters (we would have him pick them out jumbled every which way in a mess on the blackboard), we moved to the Be, He, Me, We stage, (just changing one letter in a list of things that ended the same, phonetically. Then with things that started the same phonetically. Then pasted signs on a couple hundred items in the house of things he knew (phonetically) already, so he'd see the word for "television" above the TV, etc. The whole process took 8 months, but at the end, he could see an unfamiliar word and sound it out even without knowing its definition yet. Of course, we read to him every night, then after a while he'd read one page, we the next page, and so on. I don't know how kids are taught to read today, but that's the "common sense" way I was taught to read by my grandfather. Had me reading the newspaper and doing the crossword puzzle by age 4.

I bring this up because it worked, in more ways and with more challenges that we ever imagined when we started. And it might help someone. It was always done as a "game" and in the beginning we'd cut it off after 10 minutes, 3 or 4 times a day. Later we'd gotten attuned to his level of interest waning and would stop before it got there, and changed the game next session to rekindle it.

The key thing was that when he hit Kindergarten, it gave him something he knew that the other kids didn't. Self-confidence in ANYTHING helps a lot in the socialization process. By age 5 he was reading anything he could get his hands on. But the social aspect was still ahead of us.

The reason I bring reading up so much is that there is no way we could have given him a repeated insight into how other people think, with a wide variety of characters to mull over. Time is limited, and I'm not schizo enough to be 600 people for him. : )

We made a point of picking books that had kids his age in a variety of situations: historical, cultural, geographical, sci-fi, etc. But the same set-up, a kid trying to figure out how the world works.

A movie would often be used to chase a particular setting in a book, but only now and then. Because the reading forces him to imagine settings, and reading pries into other people's thoughts, unlike film, which is a great medium in some ways, but not as a primary medium for him. Particularly good were films where the protagonist kid narrates his thoughts as he's thinking.

Telling stories, real fables or made up ones, about kids losing out because of "all or nothing" attitudes getting in the way of achievement helped reduce that typical attitude. He slowly stopped the "I'll sit here till the next ice age till I get what I want" stuff.

We sold him on "manners" by asking him if he ever noticed how adults tended to ignore kids or treat them different than they treated other adults. He said "Yeah...." So we asked him if he wanted to try an experiment with adults. That if he always looked up when any adult entered the room, looked straight into their eyes, and smiled and said "Hello! I'm Sam. Who are you?" while holding the look (and several other gambits), that we thought adults would treat him much more like an adult than they did other kids, and would he help us test that hypothesis. (Worked like a charm). After a while, the sense of power made him come up with his own "gambits". Realizing that he could catch adults off-balance and crack them up this way made him a LOT less shy about introducing himself to other kids his own age. And so on....

I'm rambling... but I feel for other parents that have and are going through this, so much... And if any of the things we did can help, try ‘em… don’t let anybody tell you it’s too late. The brain keeps rewiring throughout life, responding to the input. Consistency of input, sometimes straight ahead, sometimes flanking, is the key. It’s a muscle. Train it. But make it a game. Teach them to enjoy competing against themselves.

Bottom line. All I have said is part of what seems to have worked. I cannot but believe that prayer, constant prayer by us and his grandparents, uncles and aunts (we are Roman Catholics) was crucial. But then, that's me.

If I was to rank the order I'd have to say my God, most Merciful, Sam himself, Mr. Tenacity, then my son Nick, who has spent the most time with Sam (fighting, teaching, ribbing, goading, kibbitzing over his shoulder at the computer games), then my wife, then me, and finally the school. All essential, each with with their own angle.

By age 6, Sam literally had his Kindergarten teacher in love with him. By age 9, elected class representative. Salient ability: Writes long stories with a command of grammar and dialogue 5 years ahead of himself. Scores 93% percentile and just got admitted into the Highly Capable program his brother has been in for several years.
Caused an odd reaction from Nick (resident genius) until I took Nick outside and told him where he stood in that ranking as to who was the most helpful to Sam getting where he is. Then I swore him to secrecy, that he was never to EVER tell Sam that.
That put an end to that jealous nonsense.

Asperger's? Possibly. He does have a very good memory, but not the kind usually ascribed to Aspies. He can concentrate on a job for hours, but not to the point of tuning out the world, nor does he get upset when interrupted. Though he used to be, and holler up a storm. Socially skilled now, funny, more so than his brother, lol, the only things that remain are a bit of stuttering when nervous, but not bad. Oh, yeah, and he still turns red-faced and tears up mightily, to the point of being almost speechless when faced with having to eat something "strange". I only see it now over food, though it used to happen over many, many things. Bizarre, that that one would hold out...

What can I say. I consider myself the luckiest bastard alive. <shakes head> And the most grateful.

And I pray that some part of this helps someone out there. I'll pray for that anonymously; my Lord knows well who needs those prayers without my having to know their name.

That's awesome work by you sir. You deserve all the credit in the world. Good goin'!

Beautiful work Philo. Working with kids on the spectrum, I can see how important good strong effective parenting is. Some parents get so beaten down they just can't carry on. You are blessed having the strength and know how to put your child on the road to success. *Big pat on the back!*

I'm glad I found this thread; I wasn't around when it was last active.

I just wanted to register here as a P of A; my 19 yo son was diagnosed in 1997 and retested in 2005. He is a senior in HS and will graduate this December. He has a big score gap between Perfomance versus Proceesing Speed. While many kids with diabilities have a gap of 60% versus 20%, Rock Jr has a gap of 99% versus 30%. He's high functioning but really slow at it, frustrating uninitiated teachers. Health professionals are reluctant to name a specific condition. It's Asperger's like with a strong indication of Non-Verbal Learning Disorder.

We are in the process of researching colleges, trade schools, and possibly therapeutic living environments. I will post some info about this post-HS stuff at a later date.

There's a lot to catch up with on this thread. So, I won't comment more until I read more.

I told you about this thread when you came out of the closet! Where's my credit?

Yes, staceyv, rawks. Thanks for the pointer. Anymore of this behavior and we'll think you're a bigger attention whore than Gwennie! if that's possible. :o

I wish the world worked in a way that people actually got what they really deserved, because a lot of people here should be Kings and Queens for who they are inside. Reading a thread like this reminds me that I need to shut up about my pittily little problems and refocus on the big picture. Thank you for sharing. My parenting skills can always use some sharpening, and I get lots of ideas here for things to do to help the RugRat be the best she can. All of your kids are very lucky to have such wonderful parents. At the risk of sounding really stupid and cheesy, you are an inspiration to me.

*whew*

I have read the whole thread and began my reply to MBJ, but I see her (?) remarks are many months old, so...I'll recast the thoughts a little differently.

HouseofV has two sons in it, and both have reasons to have special programs at school. One is deaf and the other has epilepsy. The IEP is invaluable as a support tool. It does a couple of critically important things: It calls attention to your child's needs. It gives you leverage to compel the school district to do what needs to be done, in a language that a bureaucracy understands.

This is really a testimonial to the value of an IEP. Get one, demand one and stick to it and make them stick to it.

I would also like to echo LR's comments. The parenting triumphs hinted at in this thread are humbling. They say that parenting is the last great refuge of amateurs. Amateurs, maybe. Virtuosos, definitely. *applauds*

Two Autism Conferences in State College, PA
 

The PATTAN website lists conferences for teachers, individuals, and caregivers in Pennsylvania.

We will be attending the Pennsylvania Community on Transition Conference 2005 - Strengthening Transition: Achieving Results.

The 2005 National Autism Conference is Aug 1-5 in State College, Pennsylvania.

Unfortunately, I have no vacation time left to attend the National Autism Conference.

I'd like to ask a question - for any of you terrific parents who may respond - do you spend much time or energy dealing with the "why?!" part of your children's disabilities? I know you have to wonder at times, but do you spend much time researching the possible causes, etc.? I seem to have dealt much better than my kids' Dad has, with the guilt issues that every parent has when they lose a child. My ex is convinced our daughter developed childhood cancer because of his work in a local refinery. I stopped researching neuroblastoma a few years ago, although I did try to research it a lot for several years. Our situation is a bit different of course, because we no longer had her here to focus all of our energy on, but I would really like to know how you guys deal with this part of your kid's disabilitites. Thanks.......

Well, first it depends on the disability. Some, like Tay-Sachs, are obviously genetic. Autism at one point was considered behavioral, the result of bad parenting. Now it is thought that it might be genetic or environmental, the result of exposure to mercury or some other chemical.

The science on issues like cancer is very difficult. For one thing, cancer can occur for no obvious reason. The only way to measure if proximity to a chemical plant is the cause is by looking for cancer clusters. Sometimes this evidence is enough to assign blame to the company.

Autism now is treated more as a symptom than anything else. I have really not paid much attention to the research because of all of the conflicting information being presented. I don't really spend much time thinking about it because there was really nothing we could have done to prevent it. There were no blood tests for Autism genes when we were married. Even now, I can't be sure if it was the doctor's fault for not inducing labor when there were signs of distress, mercury timerisol in a vaccination, our living near an industrial area, or genetics.

I would like an answer someday, even if it is one I don't like. However, I might have to wait another 10 years for the research to present me with one, and in the meantime I intend to deal with the reality.

I hope everything worked out alright with your daughter. I couldn't tell with your statement. The fact is that it might not have been the job so much as the location where you lived. It's very hard to find out how many chemicals are released by plants, even when they actually file their reports and don't lie. Sometimes the industries which supply the jobs to support our familiies are the ones which pollute the environment around them. Not working for a company is not a solution, since entire regions can be affected. The only real solution is to make enough money to afford a house far away from an industrial location.

If I had a tool like Enviromapper when I bought the house where my kids grew up, I would have at least had more data to make an informed choice.

This map is where we first lived. Green = hazardous, Blue = toxic release, Orange = Superfund, Red = Water Dischargers

If you map your current address, it would likely be similar or worse. Actually given your primary proximate industry, I'd guess worse.

I just checked the EPA map for my own neighborhood, it appears to be just a map of gas stations and dry cleaners.

I mapped my area ... you can't see the town names for the dots.

BH:

Yes, of course, we ponder the "Why?", but for myself, once we were over the initial grieving period (like that first ding in the door of a new car, y'know?), the "Why?" was only important in the context of "what is the best strategy to cope?" Naturally, why is important, but it doesn't reign over our lives. Even in situations where the disability is "reversible", like with hearing aids or cochlear implants, the why factors into the decision. But. But for us, the how will you get along each day was the major focus. How will we prepare our young child (formerly young child, off to university this fall!!) to cope. That's the focus for us, really. Coping.

RS. My son 17 sounds simular to yours. His score gap is 27% which is where the anxiety comes from??? He took a beginning programming class and thought it was too easy and boring?? I still don't know what that 'gap' means except for this. When my kid jokes about the military he says if there was an order to 'hit the deck' because of incomming missle or whatever he'd still be looking around saying, "huh,? wha....t?" .....

He begain his first successful school year last year. He is so smart but still He will be late in graduating . It has been the last three years he was afraid of busting someones chops and or anxious about the social situations or being in a class with kids with more problems than his own. He is in a good emotional space right now yet he is in the developmental space most middle schoolers are. He just learning how to be disiplined.. Last year he begain transitioning into regular class where he found himself feeling relaxed. He uses an emotional growth class as a home base in case of feeling overwhelmed but thankfully ( or ironically ) it is the special needs class that makes him feel overwhelmed. He has lectured his peers many times about how immature they are. AND THEY ARE. His teachers use him as a role model but I am not so comfortable with that. He dosn't belong there really but his anxiety disorder demanded some kind of accomodation. Now that he is older ...he just says, 'man I thought I was messed up' ( ironically refering to his classmates)' I guess I don't have it so bad' and signed up for a full load next year. ( I am kinda proud but realistic about that)
He too is planning on going to college.

Rock steady , I would like to know how your son managed getting through all his classes. You can email me?


anyway...

My son wasn't diagnosed until middle school. His early years were full of social activities and friends. I might have noticed if he hadn't have been an only child. I just thought he was perfect.:p I should have known that perfect wasn't perfect after all.
His first diagnosis from a psychiatrist was Non Verbal learning to our face but on paper it is PDD/Anxiety disorder. The anxiety is the true disorder and I blame the system it'self for it. He kicked a bully down in middle school and was suspended for it. The school cop threatned him that any further acting out and she would arrest him. So later During his assesment in middle school he yelled at the counselor. Our house keys flew out of his hand and hit me. This was infront of a room full of specialists so they knew too it was an accident. He was gestering and everyone knew it but the counselor called the school cop. She came to my house and arrested him. I would have stood infront of her but I didn't want to get arrested too. Of course, I immediatly called his parole officer and that was the end of her. ( he was out within an hour) I wish I could have had the counselors job too. Anyway he was too freaked out to go to school much. Until now. :D He is still really afraid of cops.


p.s. It wasn't until after meds that my son started talking and telling me where the anxiety was comming from. I wrote so many letters describing that situation to everyone in high places. The early years were volitile and I didn't want to mess him up further by getting arrested myself, or worse. He would have become higly aggressive if I would have been put in cuffs.

.............then it would have been worse much worse. He has it in him to let loose with 'whoop ass' and I have had to work long and hard on him accepting himself. He is not bad for having those tendicies. It's all about self control. We have choices.



I found some interesting articles about NLD and PDD.

http://www.nldontheweb.org/Dinklage_1.htm

http://www.autism-support-community....of_Autism.html