10/19/2004: Hung moose
 

http://cellar.org/2004/hungmoose.jpg

Geodog points out this remarkable one... thanks!

If it's an animal image, and it's not Friday, it's not gonna be good. And that's the case here, as this moose was eventually destroyed. But he's alive in this shot...

Very similar to 1/15/2003: Dead deer mystery, except in this case we kinda know what the full story is.

This moose was happily minding his own business. And his business was kicking the ass of any other moose in the area. He was in "full rut", a condition in mating season in which a male moose is so horny and full of piss and vinegar that he will pretty much fight any other male moose in the area.

Unfortunately he is a moron, and so sometimes he will pick fights with things that aren't other male mooses but kinda sorta LOOK like other male mooses. Anything that looks like another set of antlers and moves. Pissed as hell, horny as hell, dumb as a stump... we've all known guys like that, and the destruction they can cause.

OK. Now, PAUSE a moment and consider stringing up electrical cable over long distances. As tw ponts out, maybe the lines should be buried. But when they're stringing across the Alaskan wilderness, where there's basically nothing, it'll be a lot cheaper to do it this way.

They've come up with an interesting way of stringing the cable, too. They lay the cable out along the ground, and then climb the poles and hang the cable through an eyelet at the top of every pole. At that point, the wire runs along the ground, except to where it rises up to the top of each pole. They leave it like that, and when they've strung FIVE MILES that way, they just PULL the ONE END of the cable, roll up it with a huge winch, and the five mile long cable is pulled, up from the ground to taut on the poles, with 5000 pounds of force. Cool!

Linesmen came through here and rolled out the cable in this way, days earlier. And then, from miles away, they started to pull the line. And this dumb moose saw this large movement, and decided it was fightin' time. But he proceeded to lose the battle spectacularly, as his antlers got caught up in a cable, and Mr. Moose got slowly dragged up in the line as a winch pulled it from miles away!!!

Fifty feet up, hung by his skull, barely alive, horny, pissed... by the time they got him down, he was thrashing about. They couldn't get him free, and figured he would die if they tranquilized him. In utilitarian Alaskan fashion, they decided that the best approach would be to just shoot him and donate the meat to a local needy guy. And that's what they did.

Let this be a warning. -- Never let yourself get in a rut.

Don Quixote would be so proud.

Never thought I would use "quixotic" and "moose" in the same sentence.

When you live out in the middle of nowhere, you'd figure it'd be safe enough to strut your stuff but nooooo.

"Like a moose on the wire
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free"

--Leonard Cohen

I agree when they took him down, he was probably dying, pissed, and probably terribly confused. I just don't know about his still being horny............ Anyway he won't have to worry about ending up in that situation again. He appears to have sacrificed his life. However, some say something good comes out of all difficult life situations. In this case some hungry soul will have a nice dinner.

Hey, Rocky...watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat! Nothin' up my sleeve...presto!

No doubt about it...we gotta breed a smarter moose.

when I saw hung moose as the headline, i wasn't thinking that this moose was going to be literally hanging - i thought it was going to have huge genitalia.

Well the picture isn't that detailed... he just might.

What a really bad day for this guy. Get up ill and horny, can't find a "friend", settle for a powerline, realize you've gotta fight for that, get strung up by the horns, rescued, shot, and eaten. Glad it was only one.
What the hell is the plural for moose anyway? MEESES??????????
Reason for going for the powerline: Closing Time!
Sportsmanship: Getting the moose on the ground before you shoot him.

MEESES a pig.

Maybe moose get Autoerotic Asphyxiation Syndrome. :elkgrin:

You didn't.

:smack: He probably seen that line moving out there?

So it's not just North Carolina. Good to know. :smack:

So Fish and Game didn't actually SEE the moose, just made the decision to shoot it based upon the word of people who string electric wire for a living and use poor grammer.

Mhm.

Kerry came to Ohio and said, "Can I get me a hunting license here?"

Apparently he felt that is the way we Ohioans communicate. He's wrong, though. Most of us speak in E-bonics.

Oh, well. Back to the moose. Poor devil. I can't help but feel his passions had cooled a bit after hanging by the skull all day. I wonder if this would work for teenaged boys?
(that's a JOKE.)

Apparently the cat was offended by the overly familiar moose.

Given the likelihood that this fellow did not get a chance to get his moosey rocks off, we just did.

Can animals win the Darwin Award? This boy at least deserves honorable mention.

"Moosey Rocks Off"...yet another band name!

When one of my coworkers was in college she wanted to name her band "Brief Reactive Psychosis."

I don't know what they ended up with.

I vote for The Fabulous Undertoads. :band:

huh??? :eyebrow:

Hate to nit-pick your nit-pick, but it's wrong on two counts. First mmmBoy never claimed to use those two words in a sentence. Although the "never thought" construction implies that conclusion, it doesn't make it explicitly.

Second, mmmBoy did indeed use those two words in a sentence, though they weren't subjects in the sentence.

If I said, "Never thought I'd jump off the roof" it would imply that I did jump off the roof.

And while it does not make it explicitly, as you stated, the implication was there.

So fuck you.



Edit: On reflection, that's a bit harsh. But christ on a cracker, I forget a smilie and I get nitpicked. Cut me some slack, bit.

It's good to know that not just people in NC screw grammer up. ;)

SEE... SMILIE. THIS INDICATES A JOKE. JEST. ATTEMPT, HOWEVER LAME, AT HUMOR. PLEASE DO NOT NITPICK THAT REMARK. THANK YOU.

Onyx, Baby, breath...in...out...in...out...in...out. Now isn't that better? :)

*buries her face in Bruce's shoulder and nods*

Get a room, you two! :D

Bruce is mine! Back off!!

:love:

Oh cool, a cat fight! But you're in the wrong thread, this is the moose thread... :biggrin:

We'll need a lot of jello...

Cheers, Bitman. And I thought that I was the only one with two English professors for parents.

BTW, if I said out loud "Oh, a quixotic moose" and then wrote "I never thought I'd say quixotic moose" it doesn't mean that I want to go bungee jumping. :confused:

Actually it's also wrong on a third count. If I said "Never thought I'd jump off a roof" it doesn't necessarily mean or imply that I had jumped off a roof. I could say "Never though I'd jump off a roof, but after getting ripped on for not including a smilie in what I intended to be a *wink wink* post I'm seriously thinking about it."

Oh yeah, and before I forget, ;)

:corn:

:notworthy Sorry Bruce, that emoticon was too good...

"With this 5 mile long cable and telephone poles we make big trouble for moose and squirrel"

I will cut you.

brave quixotic moose
fly high you great horndoggie
it's what's for dinner

*said while snapping in a very groovy manner*
Groovy Griff, groovy.

Bring it on! *whips out trusty shiv and slowly circles OnyxCougar in menacing fashion* :evil2:

I like this movie! :corn:


*With the tune 'The Rumble' from West Side Story in the background*

Under The Highway - 9:00 p.m.(The gangs come in from separate sides, Brianna and Onyx are just beginning the "fair fight" when UT tries to stop them. Onyx hits Brianna and both open knives. As Onyx is about to kill Brianna, UT moves to stop her. Brianna runs her knife into Onyx. Onyx falls toward UT; UT takes the knife from her hand and kills Brianna.The gangs disperse in panic and confusion, except for UT who stands horrified, over the bodies of Onyx and Brianna. Suddenly he realizes the danger and runs.)

Nice screenplay 404 -- except they were fighting over Bruce.

um--who won?

Easy, Action!

*growls and sizes up her opponent, flicking open a butterfly knife, weaving sinuously in an attempt to intimidate Brianna*

brianna, totally not intimidated, opens fire and shoots OnyxC in the brisket.

queue swelling "death" music.

And now---after Marichiko!

Never bring a knife to a gunfight.

OnyxC---really, I regret that I killed you. I feel badly about that. But...I just met a man named xoxoxobruce---say it loud and it's like music playing...say it soft, and it's almost like praying....xoxoxobruce....

Can't we all get along? :eek:

Count on bruce to find a catfight and turn it into an orgy! You go, my man!! :thumbsup:

Well Bruce was just sitting back eating popcorn watching the girls go at it. I figured UT would jump in to *moderate* the fight. ;)

Isn't all this posturing over a mate the thing that got the moose in trouble in the first place???

It sure is mmmBoy. I'm not taking a chance on getting hung. After all, I never have been. :blush:

Shot by a jealous husband seems more likely with all these women pawing the ground over you. :)

Cyber pawing, Dar, only cyber pawing. :blunt: