What offends you?
 

We've got two third rail (does that make six?) threads going right now on gun control and abortion. Both threads have views expressed which should offend almost anyone. So my question is: what offends you? As I expressed over on the license plate thread it offends me when someone expects me to subsidize what I consider a vice. It also offends me when I read my own comments and realize how sanctimonious I get on some subjects. Tw used to offend me until I started ignoring his style and reading his content, which however wrong headed ;) is often quite interesting. So what offends you?

This is an awesome question...!

I'll start: I'm offended by violence.

Not only offended, but I have a Clockwork Orange-like aversion. It makes me a little sick to my stomach if someone says "Let's go kick their ass!" No matter if I'm on the kicker side or the kickee.

I get really fucking irritated when people bash the US for no good reason. A Starbucks opening in Australia doesn't mean that the Americans are coming to teach Australia how to make coffee.

I get really fucking tired of Americans whining about how much they hate the USA (never for any good reason) and how everything is so much better in [England|Australia|France|Canada]. Move! Go live there! Stop wasting my mother fucking time!

I get really fucking annoyed with people that post mindless claims without bothering to back them up. Which is why I love tw - I disagree with him on a number of things, but he backs all his shit up and it's always well researched. So mad props to him for that.

I get really fucking angry over asshole drivers. They offend me. But I have bitched about this before.

I get really fucking offended over bad customer service. Why should I buy your shit if you're going to treat me in an awful fashion? There are many places where I've been snapped at or subjected to other stupid management mistakes (a recent grocery store incident comes to mind), and it bothers the shit out of me. I tend to get what I want in these situations, because they inflame me so much that I don't stop until I walk out with more than what I originally intended.

Also, here's a good one: Do any of you guys go to MarketPro computer shows? Lots of times they have security guards at the door to check your bags to see if you're stealing. I get really tired of waiting in that line while some pokey "security guard" searches everyone's bags and looks at their receipts, carefully matching up items so that they can insure that no CD-R's were lifted. I've got places to go and things to do, thank you very much. Here's how I usually handle the situation:

Walk right out the door, bypassing the line. DO NOT make eye contact. Just walk out like it's nothing. Most of the times this works.

If they come after you and say "Uhm, Sir, I need to see your receipt." I say "Oh, no problem. Just go ahead and show me your search warrant and I'll get it right out."

Many times they stand perplexed, and I walk away. Probably 10 separate times though (I've been to probably 100+ computer shows), they've chased after me. "Sir! Get back here!" I keep walking. Once, a woman had the audacity to actually grab my arm as I walked away. I pulled my arm away quickly, turned around to look at her, and said very loudly, "Ma'm, that is ASSAULT and if you touch me again, I will call the police and have you arrested!" Needless to say, they are not allowed to detain you, no matter what they claim. They have no probable cause and you didn't sign anything waiving your Fourth Amendment rights when you walked in the door. They never even have notices up, but even if they do, you can claim illiteracy. :) Besides, I seriously doubt that would hold up in court anyway. Police officer friends of my father have told us that they have no legal justification to hold you back. Twice (both at the Montgomery County Fairgrounds in Gaithersburg, Maryland), a security guard called his buddies to report that someone was "leaving the premesis without being searched." I prayed for them to actually try and stop me from driving off - man, what a lawsuit I could have had!

The trick is though, you can't look suspicious. So that's why you don't make eye contact. If they have probable cause (some of them are actual police officers that are rented on their Saturday off and whatnot), they *can* detain you.

But yeah. Another important thing to remember: if you get offended by everything offensive you see or every asshole that cuts you off, you're going to spend all day pissed off. So I try to keep a light mood when it comes to these things, though those are the ones that have a bad habit of really bugging the shit out of me.

--dave

Just thought I'd post an addition: A lot of this has to do with my general intolerance of people who are in a situation they have total control over and yet bitch about it without bothering to do something. "Shit or get off the pot," he said. It's insulting to my intelligence, and to anyone who has to listen to people drone on and on about this shit.

Kim-chee farts.
Telemarketing.
Watery beer (like Coors Light).
Inanity, oka network television.
The DCMA.
Telemarketing.
Spin control.
Bureaucrats.
Adulation of politicians.
Licensing laws.
Gun control, unless you mean using both hands.
Telemarketing.
Customer relationship management.
HMOs.

That's my two-minute list.

There are a number of stores in California (Fry's electronics is a prime example) where they do this as a matter of course. And I was not willing to wait in line to be "checked" after I just waitied in line to pay.

I pretty much followed the same proceedure.... It always worked and nobody ever even tried to stop me.

My "rehersed speach" was something along the lines of, "I just paid for this. It is my property. I have no need to show it to you to be allowed to leave your store. Would you like a lawsuit for false imprisonment?" But I never got to use it. :)

They do it at Best Buy too, but they seem to be much more lax there. Read: there is no line. So I don't mind flashing them a receipt 'cause no harm, no foul. If it saves me 2 minutes of arguing then hey, I'm down with that.

It's places like CompUSA and MarketPro computer shows that really bug me. You don't need to look at every fucking item on my receipt and match it to the items in my bag. I have not the time to waste. I am not a criminal (unless you count occasional jaywalking and probably a small handful of other minor offenses that I'm not even aware of), and I don't need to be treated like one. Like I said, if it's a minor nuisance (keeping the receipt out until I get past the security staff), then no big deal. If it doesn't take but more than a second or two, I have no problem with flashing my receipt. But it's when the lines are ridiculously long and the people at the door are matching everything up and writing down the big items in a register that really bug me.

That's not a bad rehearsed speech, and I thought of using it before, but I prefer the one I referenced because when you deliver it how I do, it just reeks of helpfullness. "Sure, no problem - just show me your search warrant and I'll get it right out." End with a smile. Like I said, they generally stand there perplexed, completely unsure of what to do. I try not to escalate the situation whenever possible. I ask myself "What exactly is it that I want in this situation?" and the answer is usually "to get home and watch my dvd / put this video card in / take a damn nap." So I try and be as pleasant as possible. If you piss 'em off, they're more likely to actually go get some of their cronies and try and hunt you down - and that just takes more time to sort out.

One time, I have threatened real action like that. I was dealing with Bank of America over a completely bogus claim of theirs against Jenni and they were trying to charge her $90 in fees for *one* bounced check (I'll explain later how you could be charged $300 or more for a single over-withdrawal, if there's interest). I told the manager, after much hassle, "Look. It's in your best interest to make me leave here with good feelings, because if I leave here with bad feelings, I might have to start a letter to the editor campaign about this theft you're perpetrating, and I would think it's easier for you to refund these fees instead of cleaning up that mess." Needless to say, the money was refunded, and I sure am glad that I don't do regular business with Bank of America.

Man, I love telemarketers. Sure, they're annoying, but I have so much fun with them. I'm not sure if I posted it here, but recently I had a fun conversation with some guy from MCI. I asked him to call back because I was in the bathroom with "frothy diarrhea." Been a while now and no return call :) There are endless things you can do to these people.

Another good trick is to get a cell phone as your main home phone. They're not allowed to call cell phones, and you can get large penalties from them if they call you on it. Pretty much gets rid of that problem. Apparently another thing that works is picking up the phone and letting it sit silent for 3-4 seconds before saying "Hello?" - most autodialers supposedly drop in this time period because they hear no noise and figure it's an answering machine.

Then you can always do the blatant "fucking with you" stuff. Ask them if they sell Smurfs. When they're talking, interrupt them with a really loud "Ow! SHIT! I just stepped on my penis!" (I would love to get Jenni to do this, but she's less shameless than I :) ). Make fart noises into the phone when they're talking. Silly shit like that. You might get a good laugh out of it (plus a good story to tell to friends), and it's hardly any time wasted. Just be creative. :)

As annoying as these people are, I try to remember that it's not only my dinnertime when he's calling, it's his too. The dude on the other end of the phone is just trying to make a buck. He's not the guy who made the decision to ring you up, he's just making minimum wage and probably catching a lot of shit from people. I actually make a game of seeing how polite I can be while still extricating myself from the conversation as swiftly as possible.

The most annoying people are the most pretentious. I get all sorts of idiots from 'boiler rooms' trying to sell me stocks and other VC [1] crap over the phone and want me to invest in their commissions. They just care about selling you some nonsense and won't answer your honest questions truthfully while telling you how well they're doing. If they were doing so well they wouldn't be calling you. I'd recommend checking out the 'Touch Tone Terrorists' for some killer tactics on how to deal with them.

[1] Venture Capital, I got lucky with one by accident, so the others think I'll bite on theirs.
Kevin.

Some may consider these irritations...I consider them offenses:

--Washington, DC: That city and its bastard child suburbs offend me to no end. Lifeless, clueless, classless.

--Stupidity: Not to be confused with ignorance.

--People who rely TOO much on their cell phones: People use these phones as their business lines and as their primary private lines...yet the conversations conducted on these phones (as well as cordless phones) are not protected under Federal privacy laws. Then their phones get broken or lost...and they freak out...then they call me. Get a cell phone...it's a good thing to have, but don't be a tech whore. Thank you. :)

I'm offended by people so self-centered, powermongering and insecure that their actions are easily and flipantly cruel.

From abusing a child, to screwing a co-worker, to not even thinking to signal a turn.

But then, they are cursed with their own company.

new tactic
 

Last night the phone rang, I picked it up and I got the usual pause which means telemarketer. The guy starts by saying someting like "Mr. Furman, I'm calling for the Pennsylvania Chiefs of Police Benevolent Association." So I've got two pieces of information, he's a con artist and he's suckering old folks since my home phone # belonged to some old guy named Furman before it was assigned to me. Apparently Furman bought a sticker from them before. Long story short we spent 10 minutes on the phone and all I said was hello maybe a hundred times in my old partially deaf mentally deficient guy voice. Guys "supervisor" came on for a little while and apparently told him to keep trying, so he went on with the script and the 15 or 25 dollar crap. My kids were listening to my end and just roaring at Papas silly voice. It was good clean fun and maybe Mr Furman won't get ripped off this year. :)

Heh. That reminds me of this time about 2 years ago where I was awakened by a ringing phone.

It was this woman that wanted to sell me a book of coupons. I'm sure you've all gotten the call. She goes on and on and on for like 10 minutes while I lay there, about 79% asleep, with the phone just kinda laying on my face. I'm nowhere near conscious.

She goes "So, where should I send the book?" You know - that line that makes you feel bad when you say "Uh. You're retarded. I don't want them." Hate shooting them down like that.

I say "Could you repeat that?"

She goes "Where should I send the book?"

"No. Could you tell me what all I get with it?"

So she goes on for another probably 5 minutes, giving me a quicker run-down. Ends with something about how each book has $3,000 worth of coupons in it and whatnot. "So, how many times would you like to save three thousand dollars?"

I'm still about 78.9% asleep. I muster some words.

"I didn't hear you that time. Could you say it again?"

She hung up on me, and I think I fell back asleep with the phone on my face. I felt bad afterward, but it's a good point: Play dumb with them. It's good fun :)

Ther are all kinds of cell phone abuse...including "driving under the influence of earwart". But:

It is in fact illegal to intercept a cellphone call. An analog call is easy to intercept. A digital one is much less easy. An old-skool analog 60MHz cordless is not illegal to intercept, but it is illegal to *disclose* what you do intercept. A 400MHz frequency-hopping phone is the dickens to intercept, but it's not illegal--again, unless you *disclose* the intercept.

Now let's talk about open wireless network connections...:-)


Wardriving

Cell phones stuck to ears while driving
 

I'm a motorcycle rider. The last week this year that I rode my motorcycle to work, I had three close calls and one <actual-contact> close-call, all with people driving while phoning.

I'm a very cautious rider, that's what saved me from harm in the actual-contact incident. I had almost stopped the bike by the time the lady in the minivan, who had decided to drive across a busy road, got in my way. I hit her minivan's rear quarter-panel at about 5 mph... she FINALLY noticed that I was there when she heard the thump... and she stepped on the gas so I couldn't catch up to her. Musta been scared of road-rage; I was so scared that I was gonna get hit from behind that I just drove off.

The other close calls were all due to invasions of my highway space by people on cell phones, too busy to actually look out their damn window (that would mean their head had to turn), when they decided they wanted my lane.

Yes, bikes are harder to see than many vehicles... but since they are legal transportation, drivers should be ready to see them on the road.

PETA

AOLers (not people that just use AOL. I did myself when I started out. However, I grew off of it. I'm talking of people refuse to leave AOL and evolve to a higher state of tech-consciousness. Reactionaries....)

hacker-posers (you know, those people that come up in a chat room every so often, randomly pick out someone and threaten to hit them with some virus or another)

Pittsburgh drivers (I ranted about these people earlier. As it's on the record, I'll spare you now.)

The Sixth Sense

My current job (A tad too fascist, for-the-good-of-the-company kind of place. And I'm working on salary, so I have no real reason to bust my ass)

Fear not, I'll think of more.

~Mike

*had to be said in response*
people who wouldn't know a light joke if it stood up and slapped them in the face with a wet trout.

I got a new one:

People that think they deserve everything.

This is the REAL FUCKING WORLD! YOU DON'T DESERVE SHIT! YOU WORK FOR IT.

UN FUCKING REAL!

GO GET A JOB! WORK FOR YOUR FUCKING MONEY!

The world doesn't owe you anything.

People that think that offend me, for about eighteen thousand reasons. Besides the fact that I hate paying taxes for lazy fuckers on welfare (though a lot of cases are legit and I'm down with that), they inevitably bitch about being owed something. Well fuck you. The rest of us that work hard for a living think you're full of shit and you need to get a goddamn job and stop bitching. If your job can't give you enough to live off of, you need to cut your expenses. I hate it when I see poor people buying shit and then complaining about not having money - THAT'S BECAUSE YOU SPENT IT ALL, YOU DUMB FUCKING RETARD! Man.

I think I need to go do work before I write 20K about this shit. But man does that ever just tweak my fucking nerves.

you reallyreally need to switch to decaf
i guess it depends what they expect. SOcial secuurity i'd agree is often abused though..

Not really. Social Security is primarily for older Americans. The disability portion of Social Security (for those who are unable to work) is abused somewhat, but probably nowhere near as bad as Temporary Assistance to Needy Families (formerly known as AFDC). And even with that, the abuse is probably nowhere near as bad as some may think.

Okay. Here is how I feel.

Those that need help and cannot help themselves need to be cared for by the government. This is absolutely the government's responsibility.

Those that can care for themselves but are too lazy to do so, so they then apply for welfare and actually get it... should be shot.

I pay 1/3 of my paycheck in taxes. So for every $1000 I take home, I paid $500 in taxes. I understand that a lot of this went to various worthy causes, but some of it goes to people that are too fucking lazy to work. I know this for a fact because I know people that have done it, including an aunt of mine. Those that do this are despicable people.

I also meant that I don't like paying hard earned dollars for the irresponsibility of others. The mom in Baltimore that has 5 kids of her own doing. Of course it's going to be hard for her to work and raise her kids. Well, there she is, on welfare, taking my money. Here's a tip: DON'T HAVE SO MANY FUCKING KIDS! Only if you have the means should you have the kids. If you don't have the means, have some really fucking careful sex. For fuck's sake, ladies. Like the world needs more kids on the fucking streets. And fuck all the absentee fathers of these children too. Mother fucking fuckers, all of them.

and NO, I DO NOT DRINK COFFEE! GOD DAMMIT!

you sure?
Then i think a tranquiliser or 30 is in order..

I cna understand your point, although how your tax dollars are spent is always a messy issue - faith based charities come to mind. WHile i pay no *real* tax atm (i pay tax but i get it all back) the idea of my hard earned money going to faith based charities shats me up the wall.

'nough to drive you nuts, eh? That's why I try not to think about it very often :)