Humor in the campaigns
 

I hope we can locate humor on the campaign trail and reduce some of the partisanship, lighten the load of anger in the country. In that spirit I open this thread with two examples, one from each side, both of which happened yesterday, and both were decent one-liners, pulled off with fine comic timing.


Kerry is standing with Edwards, speechifying: "I want you to know we think this is a dream ticket. We've got better vision. We've got better ideas. We've got a better sense of what's happening to America. And we've got better hair."


Bush is being asked about the Edwards choice by a long-winded reporter asking how he would compare Edwards to Cheney. The question went on but Bush answered it with a tiny deadpan quip: "Dick Cheney can be President. Next?"

Seen somewhere on the blogs, paraphrased.

"Dick Cheney can be President. Next?"

That's one more reason to vote for Kerry.

And the spirit lasted 37 minutes.

Hey, I thought it was a funny one-liner.

Someone should do this:

1. Get all four of them: Bush, Cheney, Kerry and Edwards.
2. Tell them this is a fun bipartisan publicity stunt, to show no hard feelings between party incumbents.
3. Have them dress in something they wouldn't mind getting dirty...Tshirt, jeans, whatever.
4. Line them up in front of a large patch of prepared mud, with four shovels sticking out of it
5. Distract them a bit, let them think they'll have to do something or other with that mud.
6. When they least expect it, pie them in the face.

While not a defining value, the reactions by each man would factor in a bit in my desicion to vote for them. I find the 'Show The World That He's Just A Regular Guy Too' campaigns are a little too scripted to really show what kind of person the Pres- and VP-hopefuls are. I want to see how they react to something they totally don't expect. But, regardless of my reasons for wanting this to happen, I think it'd be great fun to watch anyway.

Is this better?

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2004/WORLD/as...owell.2.ap.jpg

:thumb:

Oh the humanity!! The Horror!!

If you read it while pretending that Jay Leno is saying it during his monologue then it becomes pretty funny.

Heehee. Does Colin Powell dressing up as a Village Person mean that the White House is dropping support of DOMA?

Via Dailykos, the humorous Kerry retort to Bush's line: Kerry said Bush was right one thing about Cheney. "He was right that Dick Cheney was ready to take over on day one, and he did and he has been ever since, and that's what we got to change."

OK, I'm game. Here's two I picked up off the net. One for each side in my best bi-partisen spirit:

Best anti-Kerry sound bite: Speaking about the Democrats in an address to the Republican Governors Association, Bush said, "The candidates are an interesting group, with diverse opinions: for tax cuts and against them ... for the Patriot Act and against the Patriot Act, in favor of liberating Iraq and opposed to it. And that's just one senator from Massachusetts.''

Best campaign rally chant: At an Iowa campaign rally, Gephardt ticked off a litany of Bush administration failings and capped it off by saying, "And now he says we need to go to Mars!'' The crowd began chanting: "Send Bush to Mars! Send Bush to Mars!''

A Michael Moore editing of W's State of the Union:

nucular is the least of your worries :)

(Quicktime format)

It would be a nice change. In this election, there will be a lot of pissed off people no matter who wins. Showing some good hearted humor here would go far to keeping the country together.

As irritating as many people are to me personally, just from their political views, I do recognize they are also Americans ( around here anyways ). Until there is a concerted movement to split the country up (again ), lets see something funny damnit.

If there is some type of secession though......all bets are off.

In the spirit of humor;

Same spirit;

:).

FUCK THEM CONSERVATIVES!!! REALLY!!!
 

This could have been it's own thread and gotten some good responses, but I consider this pretty funny so I posted it here. It's from the Pittsburgh CityPaper (Liberal Giveaway weekender rag).


F#ck The Vote (www.fthevote.com)
Because Liberals are Hotter


Pittsburgh, PA -- FtheVote.com encourages liberals to use their sex appeal to seduce and bed George W. Bush supporters in exchange for a vote against the incumbent in the November Presidential election.



F#ck The Vote (FTV) launches its Web site www.FtheVote.com on July 4, 2004, which invites its visitors to trade sex with conservatives in swing states for votes against George W. Bush in the November presidential election. FTV’s strategy is to encourage visitors to download or print from the site a Pledge Sheet to be signed by any potential sexual partners before or after relations pledging to not vote for George W. Bush in November 2004. … Additionally, FTV will promote and host a number of summertime activities. The first of these planned events will involve a number of hand-selected liberal hotties traveling to swing states for sexual meetings with conservatives on a “Swing-er-State Tour 2004” planned for late August … [T]he company will unveil its Tour Van -- complete with a convenient deployable bed for swingin’ on the run -- on a trip to the Republican National Convention.



FTV is based on two straightforward facts, liberals are hot awesome lays, and conservatives are desperate, sexually repressed, and willing to trade their vote for a good F#ck. FtheVote.com provides resources for liberals to use in locating, seducing, and (contractually) binding conservatives to vote for anyone other than George W. Bush in the November election.




I'm thinking of starting "Lick a Liberal Pussy" as a political countermeasure.

This Land is Your Land. Funny.

Awesome!! The whole point of the thread!! Two thumbs way up!!

Boo! Not the point of the thread!! Thumbs down!!

°

∙

I saw the fnords.... :worried:

Hey. I've got the same music stand. $29.95 at Sam Ash.

I bet I sound better than Powell.

The New Yorker explores political vulgarisms.

Oh, don't be such a tight ass. :p

.

the New Yorker rocks.

Holy 2x4 upside the head, Batman, the New Yorker made a joke and I actually GOT it!

Here's a fun quiz: http://politicalhumor.about.com/libr...ewbushquiz.htm

And...

From the quiz: "Bush/Cheney '04: Don't Change Horsemen Mid-Apocalypse." That's some funny shit.

.

They need a star shape that says Badnarik or Libertarian next to it.

pretty funny wolf, but i still don't get what the big deal was about the bunny suit. everyone in that environment has to wear one. why should it be an embarrassment?

Well, Dukakkis (or however you spell his name) was wearing the appropriate suit for the ride in a tank he took when he was campaigning years ago. He was mocked for those pictures, because he really looked out of place in the tank. I imagine that memory popped into the heads of the handlers.

Of course, the official reason the pictures were removed from the NASA web page was that NASA, as a government organization, is not allowed by law to endorse one candidate or another.

the dukkakis thing was because he looked so out of place there - he truly didn't belong in a tank.
if i were kerry's handler i would have taken the photo and promoted it - something along the lines of kerry is trying to work with nasa for sending our astronauts to _____. people wouldn't have paid any attention.

funny bumpersticker

Oh,....it seem wrong, but then again, it feels so right. ;)

ROFLMAO - that is good bruce!

ohgawd...i can't breathe...i can't BREATHE....:lol:

Here's a bumpersticker for ye...

.

..

and;

Nice!!! I wish it were a joke though. Bin Laden has been in custody since June. He'll be "discovered" in mid to late October.

*straightens foil hat*

[quote=Radar Bin Laden has been in custody since June. He'll be "discovered" in mid to late October.[/QUOTE]

I imagine you will soon be posting the Top-Secret Crypto document
that verifies this "fact".

Do ya think they've been doing thrice weekly dialysis on him? That would be counterintuitive, NO?

(Brianna only posted this post so she could use the word 'counterintuitive')

There were several newspapers reporting it months ago but it got hushed up after the government denied it. I have said for months that they will spring the "we captured Bin Laden" card right before the election. It won't help Bush though. He has already lost the election, but he just doesn't know it yet.

I'm sure you'll attack any sources I post, but I'll do it anyway. Anything is more reputable and believable than the whitehouse.

http://www.etalkinghead.com/archives...004-02-28.html

http://english1.people.com.cn/200402...8_136103.shtml

http://www2.chinadaily.com.cn/englis...ent_310332.htm

http://english.pravda.ru/war/2003/03/07/44136.html

http://www.paktribune.com/news/print.php?id=56525

hey radar -i'm not saying it is an impossibility but i don't really think they have him yet. but i did follow all of your links and i don't really see any point in discrediting any of them, but each one of those stories is simply reporting the fact that ONE SOURCE reported the capture of OBL while everyone involved is quoted as saying it is untrue.

the ONE SOURCE they are eaching pulling their stories from is Iranian radio. do you really think that is a credible source?

If Radio Iran and Pravda said it's true, that settles it! This veteran is voting for the guy with all the *cough-choke*medals!

Etalkinghead says That doesn't make sense. :confused:

You believe those "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth"?

You mean Karl Rove's Navy? :)

Inherited from Nixon.

"there wernt no bullets, there wernt no danger! Kerry forged all them documents cause hes so crafty! He wernt hurt at all,..er not enuf anyways! He didnt shoot no bad guy, it was just a misunderstood kid in a loin cloth, no threat at all! He's a big faker! has everyone hoodwinked! Them guys that were actually there with him...well, He must got some kinda hypno-spell cast on em. Hes powerful thata way. Me...well I dont know were my own records is...My mean exwife musta hid em. Uh...well yeah, we're coming forward with this, changing our stories, cause of Kerry being so cowardly as to turn god damn hippie. Pissed me off! Oh, and we gets alot of money."

These guys are pathetic.

http://zoom.cafepress.com/6/4542146_zoom.jpg

http://zoom.cafepress.com/1/3089841_zoom.jpg

http://zoom.cafepress.com/8/5024868_zoom.jpg