Arrrrrrgh
 

There's absolutely nothing like a wet holiday morning, when you go downstairs with the intention of whipping up a bit of breakfast, perhaps with some bacon to help things along, and instead of the happy pop and sizzle of long strips of fatty, maple cured pork crisping themselves up in the microwave you get a rather louder pop and sizzle sound, along with the smell of ozone.

The trusty Nuke-o-Matic gave up the ghost this morning. :(

Why do I suddenly have a craving for popcorn?

I'll sell you my little Sharp for $50 if you want it... I want to upgrade

It has an excellent user interface, I've never seen one better for any kitchen appliance. It has a built-in carousel. But it's too small for me, and it's a bit low-powered.

Although I'm not looking for anything fancy (it doesn't have to be a combination toaster and/or convection oven, I just need a microwave) I do want a full-size.

Ol' Sparky gave me 10 years of excellent service, so I don't have any hesitation about starting fresh.

I'll get up to the Best Buy sometime in the next week or so.

Assuming I can remember how to operate the regular oven and the George Foreman Grill. Might have to go sooner.

wolf, do your self a favor, and don't replace it. go get a convection toaster oven. microwaves are evil.

My ass...you'll be there when the doors open at 10 tomorrow morning.

No man, didn't you get the May issue of Closet Hippy? Microwaves direct all their energy right into heating the food. Convection wastes energy by letting all that heat go everywhere else! Not only aren't Microwaves evil, they are Gaia-Approved(TM)!

jinx, lay down the truth for brother toad. he needs to be saved from his microwave.

We had this discussion before.

well. so we did. sorta.

from an end user standpoint, without getting into the technical nutritional and energy cost effectiveness of it all, let me just say that cooking your bacon in the microwave is morally reprehensible. Popcorn is marginally acceptable, but the fact that the fumes from it can fuck you up serve as a sign of the inherent evil resident in your indigenous domesticated microwave.

Now, take left over pizza. You put your slice in the nuker for 45-50 seconds, and it is piping hot, melty cheese.....but the crust is soggy and tough.

I put a piece in on fan/bake for 2 minutes at 400, and mine is piping hot, melty cheese, and the crust is crispy and delectable. I bet tomas rueta would even prefer it to sex. ( i can prove that, actually). I'll trade you 1 minute for crispy anytime.

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Of course!

-- The popcorn gas comes from the flavoring, which is made in New Jersey. The microwave is not at fault here.

-- The correct way to reheat pizza is to pan-fry it. Heat the pan, swipe a little olive oil in the bottom (not much needed), slap your slice down until the bottom blackens. Perfect your heating technique so that this happens at about the same time the cheese melts a little. After you try this, you will return to the Cellar to personally thank me for introducing you to this method.

-- Nobody sane would microwave broccoli, so we can ignore that completely. But nobody sane would re-steam next-day broccoli either. No, even if they were a fuckin' hard-core researcher, you can bet they'd mic it, and they'd eat it, and they'd be happy about it.

-- Lastly, bacon... mic'd bacon would be terrible for bacon-eaters who don't eat their bacon crisp. It would be a travesty. BUT, crisp bacon eaters get a great deal out of the wave. It cooks the fat faster than the meat. This is exactly what you want if you mean to eat it crisp.

yikes!

christ, i just took shelby's word for it before.
this is from the article:


how does a microwave work, really?
and on a purely taste based comparison, food just gets fucked up in there. Everything gets rubbery or soggy or chewy.

Interesting...I see that same information from the first quote on a few different sites, but I can find nothing on the Atlantis Raising Educational Center or these Russian investigations.

Re: Arrrrrrgh
 

Thankfully, in my quest to own every cool gadget I can find in clearance sales from shopping network outlet stores, I own an aluminum stove top popcorn popper. You put in the kernels, some oil, maybe a little butter, and some honey if you don't mind the extra cleanup. Heat, pop, and eat.

I still use the microwave, but I eat maybe one package of microwave popcorn a month. Not because of carcinogrens, but because the hydrogenated oil that starts as a solid in the bags and turns into a liquid when heated probably turns into a solid again in the arteries.

That stuff is all just alarmism. All cooking involves chemical changes and carcinogens are all over the place. One could write a similar description of regular cooking, because all heating is causing molecules to move faster.

There is no high school chemistry student who doesn't know this sentence is a load of microwaved and thus steaming horseshit.

indeed. you can find support for almost any side of any argument on the internet. I grew up reheating things in the microwave, and I'm not dead yet.

I listen to my gut, though. And it just seems wrong.....like feeding a baby formula.....or instant coffee......or watching golf on tv.

It was jinx's idea to get rid of our microwave, and i stubbornly resisted her for a good year. But, after not using it for 3 months after I got that convection toasteroven....I put it in the garage just in case i missed it......I finally disposed of it.

http://a1412.g.akamai.net/7/1412/243...011/img81m.jpg

Re: Re: Arrrrrrgh
 

I am familiar with this device.

In fact, I am old enough to recall making real popcorn on the stove in a regular pan. Doing so, however, would require that I have in my cupboard popcorn that doesn't come in an individually wrapped waxed paper bag with mysterious gooey substances inside that will cause it to heat and cook and pop to perfection.

Eating Cheerios by the handful is my only recourse at this point.

Wawa is your friend.

Gawd, reminds me of work - they banned microwave popcorn, because some yutz walked away from a bag that he left on high for 7 minutes....(yes, 7 minutes) that burst into flames, started the sprinkler system and ruined a good bit of office equipment. (this was in another site, not ours...)

But as you know, one good yutz ruins it for the intelligent folk.

Dangit, and microwave popcorn is a good craving buster on WW!

Re: Re: Re: Arrrrrrgh
 

Well, at the Shipyard Outlet near the Blue Rocks stadium in Delaware is a Lillian Vernon outlet store. A few weeks ago they were dumping a carmel popcorn maker shaped like a little vendors cart for about $20.

Gawd, reminds me of work - they banned microwave popcorn, because some yutz walked away from a bag that he left on high for 7 minutes....(yes, 7 minutes) that burst into flames, started the sprinkler system and ruined a good bit of office equipment. (this was in another site, not ours...)

On the day that you throw your hands up in discust and walk out of your job,,, make sure you have been by wal-mart and got a bag of microwave Porkrinds ,,
set the microwave on 15 minets and walk out .
The stink will NEVER go away !!!!!

I've resisted getting a microwave oven so far since getting into my new place. And it's nice, because I have more counter space, I make less food in one go because I know I can't easily reheat it, and because popcorn is so much better when you have complete control over all ingredients and the heating environment.

That said, I very nearly buckled when I walked into Media Play yesterday to find that they had microwaves on sale for 30 bucks. But I stayed strong and spent my money on stuff with absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever.

YAY, PERTH!

i'm here for you if you need support.

I bought video games.

I got a video game (GBA Metroid Zero Misson), 2 books (Star Wars New Jedi Order Dark Tide I and II) and a movie (Muppet Treasure Island for the pirate-obsessed kidlet). Spent way more than 30 bucks, but what the hell, right? You only live once. I think.

When I was a kid, my mom usually made popcorn in a pan on the stove. However, we did have an electric popcorn popper that was basically a heated surface on the bottom with a glass dome on top (similar to this -- an Ebay auction, so it probably won't stay around long). I thought it was way cool because you could watch the corn pop. Though I don't doubt it was a bitch to clean, which presumably explains why it wasn't used as often.

We had something similar, a Stir Crazy , and my sister and I made popcorn almost everyday as an after school snack.
I just pop it on the stove in a heavy bottomed pot now.

My microwave (originally purchased in 1988) died a couple years ago so I took it down to the neighborhood Mr. Fixit - you know - they guy with the 1968 Magnavox in the front window with an inch of dust on it but still with the original service order tag from 1974 and with a sign that says items left over 30 days will accrue a storage charge - yeah, that guy. Anyway, he fixed it for 50 bucks and its still going strong. It is actually a remarkable device - if you looked at it, you would never know its more than three years old.

I read somewhere that if you microwave food in plastic some of the plastic molecules can break away and stay with the food. Some of these molecules apparently mimic estrogen. I read this in a story that was trying to explain why so many girls in Puerto Rico were nearly fully developed females at the tender age of 11. I think they ended up blaming hormones in chicken meat and eggs (from the feed). I microwave only in glass or ceramic containers now - I'm not worried about me or my wife (at this point) but about my two toddlers.

The National Cancer Institute maintains a site to show/encourage folks to eat enough fruit and vegatable servings each day.
National Cancer Institute's "5 a day" program.

An excerpt from the NCI page.

# Have a fruit or juice at breakfast daily.
# Have a fruit or vegetable snack each day.
# Stock up on dried, frozen, and canned fruits and vegetables.
# Make Fruit and Vegetables Visible in Your Home.
# Microwave vegetables for dinner.
# Grab an apple, orange, banana, pear, or other piece of portable fruit to eat on-the-go.
# Snack on raw veggies like baby carrots, pepper strips, broccoli, and celery.
# Pick up ready-made salads from the produce shelf for a quick salad anytime.

for some reason that does not surprise me.

I replaced my microwave... with a micro-hood. Doesn't take up counter space, is bigger, and produces just as many tasty carcinogens. (I don't eat vegetables anyway so I'm not worried about those) It also has a popcorn setting which is quite reliable.

It's also got a convection oven in it but I actually haven't used it yet.

I assume by "microhood" you mean one of those devices that replaces the stove-hood and installs overtop of your range? Neat idea, but not a possibility for me. I'm in a rental, so I can't buy anything that involves installation more complex than "insert plug in wall socket, enjoy."

Once again I went out with intention of buying a microwave.

I saw many beautiful and powerful ones.

I was in awe.

The shiny chrome kind are really cool.

And oooooh the wattage! 1200!!

(having a 10 year old microwave one loses touch with the new and exciting developments and increases in power)

However, I forgot to measure the counter space.

I will have to go back.

And I spent my microwave money again.

Angel Heart has been rereleased on DVD.

And Wiseguy Season One is available too.

Quite surprisingly, the quest for the new nuke-o-matic continues.

I have been to the two closest large chain retailers near me, that is stores whose names end in -Mart for $100, Alex.

I don't know what's going on here.

A microwave is your basic kitchen essential.

I should be able to walk into nearly damn anywhere and point at one and say "load it in my car, here is specie."

Yeah, right.

Having been entranced by the shiny chrome microwave, I would certainly like one like that. But it doesn't have to be.

In fact, I would accept the damn thing in PINK at this point, and everybody knows how I feel about pink.

So from this you might expect that I am having a frustrating time ...

All I'm freaking looking for is a 1100-1200 watt, turntable microwave.

I have seen MANY of them. None of them, however, are in stock.

I tried for THREE different models at Boscov's. Not one of them was in the store.

Nor were there any in the warehouse.

So then the trips to the *mart stores ... nothing there either. The ones available on the shelves were of minor wattage and also less than 1 cubic foot interior space.

So back to Boscov's, two weeks later ... no, nothing has come in yet.

Trip down the other end of the mall to Strawbridges ... they HAVE three different microwaves to choose from, all of which represent models sold AT Boscov's. Each of them is $40 more than the Boscov's price for the same unit.

And no, they are not likely to be going on sale, according to the friendly sales associate that it took me 15 minutes to hunt down. Apparently nobody actually BUYS anything at Strawbridges, so they don't bother.

(I was really, REALLY missing Strawbridge and Clothier at just that minute. I would have had an obsequious sales person at my beck and call, who actually knew his merchandise rather than the young lady who advised me "yeah, they're like all over $100 and summing." I requested a specific price on the one unpriced model ... "yeah, it's like over $100 too." If you shopped there before the out-of-state buyout, you know what I mean.)

So, I come home, and start checking other sources. I figured that maybe sometime this week I'll just go to Target and put myself out of my misery over this nonsense ... and I surfed around a little bit, searching for the brands and model numbers of the ones I'd kind of liked.

And you will never guess what I found ...

Chrome. Shiny. Lovely. amazon. $90. Eligible for super saver shipping.

Haven't done it yet, but likely will after sleeping on the decision.

Major bonus: I won't have to carry it up the front walk.

Jesus LJ, you let the wife get rid of the microwave? What's next, your balls?!

Look at poor wolf here, struggling mightily to find what you so callously discarded. You should be ashamed.

I too have a 15+ year old model, plate thing is all cracked, hasn't been cleaned in this century...only damn thing I own that works, and works right every time I need it.

Two words buddy....Jiffy Pop.

my balls are radiation free. and present and accounted for, thank you.

wolf, you've managed this long without the evil device in your life. come towards the light that is the convection toaster oven.

No microwave, but he's more than willing to drive a fucking SUV. ;)

We all have different hot-buttons.

The only thing I missed, not having a microwave, was popcorn. I never managed to make it properly on the stove, but that was remedied handily this weekend with the purchase of an air-popper. That makes the best damn popcorn I've ever had.

Best dry popcorn, you mean?

Although I do like the ability to add buttery goodness to taste.

My favorite popcorn popper was the one that got me through college ... a West Bend (I think ... they were the ones with the yellow lids, Hamilton Beach's were clear). You put the popcorn and oil in the base, and loaded the top of the lid with pats of yummy butter so that it dripped evenly down onto the popcorn as it popped.

I got a Presto Hot Air Popcorn Pumper after that one bit the dust. The only thing the Hot Air Popper did well was see to it that popcorn shot all over the room. Chewy bland popcorn that the salt wouldn't stick to.

:popcorn:

EDIT TO ADD: Boo Hoo!!! The popcorn smiley will not display properly because the first two characters are being immediately parsed as a tongue-sticking-out smiley. :(

I have a truely worthless microwave that someone gave me. I use it because I tend to burn every damn thing that I put on the stove due to the fact that I now have the memory of your average ephemeral insect which lives out its entire adult life in 24 hours. My microwave is so low wattage that it actually takes longer than a regular oven to cook things. How this is possible, I don't know, but somehow my "mini-wave" manages to pull off this feat of modern cookery. It DOES however still make pizza crust dried out and soggy just like a regular microwave would and it cooks bacon to dried out strips like a regular microwave would, as well. I recently came into a small (VERY small) inheritance of sorts and went down to the local Walmart to survey microwaves. I was hopelessly confused at the selection and ended up buying a new ink cartridge for my printer instead. If you come up with a good buy, Wolf, let me know. The whole thing has me hopelessly lost and I've been subsisting on cheese and crackers for weeks. :3eye:

http://www.cellar.org/images/newsmilies/popcorn.gif Does this work? (inserted as an image, not a smilie)

Apparently so.

Use "corn" :corn:

Yes, a smilie code that starts with a "p" doesn't work. I had to rename several.

Well, yeah, it's dry popcorn. I like tossing it with a little olive oil and kosher salt or parmesan cheese. But the thing about the popper I got is that it has a butter warmer on the top, so you can prepare some melted butter at the same time, which is better than the bizarre butter-flavoured stuff in the microwave bag any day of the week. :)

Microwave advice:

Do not be tempted by the large shiny objects.

Normal humans don't actually NEED 1200 watts of microwaving power and the ability to fit an entire turkey into it is of limited usefulness.

You microwave one plate's worth of dinner, not an 8 course meal for 4 ...

Don't spend more than $50. This will assure two things.

One, you will be able to carry your new microwave to and from the car.

Two, it will fit into the car when you get there.

Oh, and get one with a turntable.

Contrarian advice: order the mighty Panasonic 1350W from Amazon, and they use their FedEx trucks to get it to your doorstep, for free. It only winds up with a small dent in the top, which you can probably bend back into shape.

I had actually considered that option, especially since items over $25 qualify for free supersaver shipping.

I had the nuker of my dreams in my shopping cart. Probably still is there, I'll have to be careful if I order some books.

But then I thought ... "What if it breaks and I have to return it? That will suck ass ..."

So I went with the "small enough to fit in the car" option.

Small microwaves defeat the purpose of the turntable, because whatever you put in (aside from a plate) will hit the edges and not turn. Packages of meat, pizza boxes, etc.

$50 microwaves don't have cool features like automatic popcorn and reheat settings. (yes, they really work in mine)

OK well I would just like to point out that I would have sold you my little turntably Sharp for $50 at the second post of the thread and you turned it down!

Do so! Mine does, anyway ... the popcorn pops to perfection. It also has a setting for beverage heating that is adaptable to the smaller teacup size and the larger mug size.

And single dish items placed on the turntable are able to make a complete spin.

Oooh! I like that one, Wolf, and its in my price range, too! I'm gonna run down and get one this afternoon. Hot meals again! Hot diggety dog! I even printed out the best buy page so I could be sure to get the right one! :browhappy

They have cheaper ones too. I just liked that it was both cheap AND shiny.

and evil. dont forget evil

Based on real-world prices I will drop my asking price for my Sharp with the best user interface I've ever seen to $30.

I adore evil! I have been practicing evil all day now with Wolf's dread machine. The devil made me do it! Bwa-ha-ha! :nuke: :scream: :lol: