original fortune cookies
 

if your job was to write new fortune cookies for a fortune cookie company, what would you come up with?

"On January 23, 2007, you will be diagnosed with lung cancer."

You will be bitten by bedbugs

Nothing new will happen to you today.

"So sorry: Chef didn't wash his hands."

But real ones are stranger.

http://home.nc.rr.com/rellis/fortune...s/prisoner.jpg

...and more like it.

Your house has a burgler in it.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to give your wait-person a generous tip!

Fate is the last excuse of the apathetic. Write your own destiny.

-sm

You will soon have gastrointestinal distress.

you will soon be hungry again

"That wasn't chicken"

HARHARHARHARHARHAR!!!

hm, case, ...good ones!


to rip case's off....
"cat tastes just like chicken"

Drink a Pint of Milk a Day

me chinese, me play joke.......how was your coke?

Don't read me or you'll have bad luck forever!

Its behind you!

Mrs. Dallas once got one that said "Trust him, but keep your eye on him."

Several months later she got another that said "Trust him, but still keep your eye on him."

She kept both of them, and carries them in her purse for deployment at strategic moments.

i think i've told this before, but....
my mom had a depressed friend that she took out to a chinese restaurant for dinner to cheer up.

her fortune was blank.

This Is Only A Test.

I've actually made my own fortune cookies before, though it's been years, and thinking up the fortunes was the funnest part. I can only remember a few:

"Inspected by #114"
"Duck!"
"Order more fortunes today"

...I'll have to see if I still have the list I made, some were pretty funny. I made the fortune cookies large novelty size, about the size of a softball, so I had the option for some lengthy fortunes.

9....8....7.....6....5....4.....3.....

That lump is cancer

You will soon argue incessantly with a bunch of people you barely know.

:)

OK, I still think you're kind of a dick, but you do crack me up.

You will marry an Asian cook


Your next fortune cookie will have a lie


Employees mush wash hands before returning to work


You forgot to feed your dog this morning, he is unhappy


Made from 100% recycled fortunes

A close corollary to that which I pulled on some friends one New Year's Eve in a Chinese restaurant..

"Your house is on fire and your dog is dead."

halve your cake and eat it too

The sound in the kitchen was not a cat.

That wasn't beef

Mirrors do not lie

Your waiter did not wash his hands

You were adopted

(both sides) See other side.

Your colon will self destruct in five seconds

We know where you live.

You will be hungry again in 30 minutes

Ask your waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.

As long as we are cutting and pasting from Google:

Everyone's meal today is on you!
The 'special sauce' came from the floor!
Guess what our special 'drop' was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!!
Your colon will self destruct in five seconds.
A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time.
Your dog Sparky...he's no longer missing.
See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.
We know where you live.
You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.
MSG? NO!! Ebola Virus....maybe