Two lies and the truth
 

very simple. Put up two lies and something true. About you, preferrably. The only rules are that two statements must be false, and one true.

check it out:

I have a vast collection of designer boxer shorts.

I have a 34 different pairs of sneakers.

I listen to the sound track from Saturday Night Fever in my car.

lie = boxer short?


I get most of my news from Foxnews and Fark

I can read Greek, Hebrew, and some Aramaic

I make it a point to buy anything being sold by neighborhood children door-to-door.

I guess the sneakers is the true one. Because... I can't say why, just because.



I was trained as an adolescent to speak in over a dozen accents.

I almost drowned when I was 12.

I drive a Honda Element.

smoothmoniker, I guess that #2 is the true statement.

sm: 3 is true
cf: 2 is true


I have 13 piercings

I had a horse named Cheval as a girl

I like brussel sprouts

I am the love child of G.W. Bush and Hillary Rodham.

I have Ann Coulters number on my speed dial, mainly for phone sex.

I was once bitten by a monkey.

One of my dogs is featured in a TV commercial that will go nationwide this summer

I single-handedly prevented a bad state bill from becoming law by getting the governor to veto it

I have over $20,000 in credit card debt

At 14, I passed out in the middle of the street in broad daylight because I was so drunk.

I lost my virginity when I was 14 yrs old.

When I was 14, I weighed 235 lbs.








boxers

ok, i played the game wrong. I told two truths and a lie (foxnews). I'll try to pay closer attention to the instructions from now on.


I was the marching band drum major in high school.

I was the captain of the chess team.

I once accepted $37 from friends and onlookers to drink a milk-based "leftovers" shake.

(you can never do anything important in life if you were popular in high school)

-sm

I have 3 cats living with me at the present time.

One of the cats weighs 14 pounds.

I had a cat who did use the toilet.

I have had several books published
I have never voted
I furnished my entire house for less than £2k

Hmm....I reckon you had a cat that used the toilet...

Right. But he only used it once in desperation. He was an indoor-outdoor cat who never used kitty litter, and we had had a 2 foot snowfall that drifted in front of the doors so that he couldn't go out, and if he could, the ground was frozen. We prepared a box with torn newspaper for him which he sniffed at, rejected and then jumped up on the toliet and proceeded to pee into it. He never used it again.

DanaC - I reckon no 3 is true.



I was born on 4 July.

I have never eaten meat.

I have met HM the Queen.

(My true one is B - nobody cares to guess so not sure how this thing works)

what law was that?

UT, I am glad that you don't have $20,000 in credit card debt...

BOY, i thought yours were too obvoius to guess. I figured 20K in cc debt was true. i've seen people with over 100K in plastic, so , with you being self employed 20K seemed entirely believeable.

so, let's hear about the law.......and the governor you spoke to.

i had no idea you were so influential.......


and, having learned my lesson about obvious guesses....RichLevy, how the hell did you let a monkey bite you?

It would have increased the signature requirements for third-party and independent candidates to get on the ballot in my state, to a level they couldn't possibly reach. The legislators snuck it in at 1:30 am after a long night session on another topic. I found out about it and started a quickie campaign to change it. I had previously lobbied the League of Women Voters on that very topic (a few months earlier) so they spoke out against it, and pretty soon all the major newspapers wrote editorials against it. The gov had to veto it, even though he hadn't vetoed anything else all year.

I've been convicted of beating up a cop

I like to listen to music

I have skated a marathon in less than an hour and a half.

I've moved countries more than 5 times.

I can't drive a car.

I have AIDs

I lived in Chicago for a year.

My first car was a 1980 Chevrolet Monte Carlo.

I've been engaged three times.

--
Jag's true statement is the first one. Matt's true statement is the third one.

1) i have anal sex at least once a week.
2) i spent almost $500 on a lamp that simulates natural sunlight to ease seasonal depression.
3) i ordered proactive from an infomercial to fix my pms blemishes.

Hmmm.

I have decided to leave Pennsylvania and move back to my native North Carolina.

I have been accepted to present a history paper at a conference for IT professionals.

One of my photographs of Saturn will be included in Sky & Telescope magazine's "reader photographs" section later this year.

stacey- the lamp.....i think you might have mentioned that.....or was it the face cream?

hmmmmm......

Stacey--#2

Steve--#2

My true statement was the speaking in accents. I did a lot of voiceacting and theatre.

I'm thinking that Syco's truth is that he's been engaged three times. A dashing chap such as he probably has to fight the ladies off with an aluminum bat.

Here's mine:

A. I appeared briefly in a popular 1980's movie.

B. Several years ago I worked with engineers at NASA's jet propulsion labs.

C. When I was a child, I almost died after being run over by a car.

UT - I definitely had #3 as the true statement - cool story.

Stacey - the lamp with #1 being a close 2nd. :-)

Jag - #1 is true unless you mean that you actually moved the country :-)


1. I know someone in the witness protection program.
2. I can swim 50 yards underwater.
3. My favorite TV show is Iron Chef.

so this is where you got that neatto jumpsuit!

No dice. Guess again, sucka!

SteveD = #2 (i would say #1, but that's too obvious)
hot_p = #1 (does porn count?)
Beestie = #1 (because I know someone in the witness protection program :gray: )

[list=1][*]I smoked weed with Willie Nelson.[*]I drank with Charlton Heston.[*]My explosive diarrhea was a featured case study in the Canadian Journal of Gastroenterology[/list=1]

You got it. Not porn though. I was an extra in Footloose, and had about 10 glorious non-speaking seconds on-sceen. John Lithgow was there, though he didn't comment on my acting abilities. I think he was jealous.

Regarding yours, I'd have to guess that you drank with Heston.

Why do you feel that being obvious makes it not true?

You're actually so geeky at heart that you went to space camp?

Or they have really cool thrift stores in Houston, where these are plentiful and cheap?

Or you've got broadband, a fast mouse trigger finger, and premium positioning on ebay?

wow. now i gotta go rent that again.......what were you like 7 yrs old? what scene?

yeah, it was the lamp :)

So, where's our vid cap of you, HP? Can you autograph it?

Yeah, I was pretty young. It was a scene where John Lithgow is in a church talking to Dianne Wiest, and somebody (I think it's Dianne Weist herself) picks me up and carries me into the other room. I can't say where the scene is sequentially... I've never managed to watch the movie from beginning to end. Heheh. I think it's near the middle of the movie.

If I bump into someone with the DVD, I'll put it in my computer and grab a screen capture, and post it. As far as autographs go, I'll do anything for a fan. Except what Lumberjim is thinking. Ew.

Bah, I made that too easy.

I've lost $3000 worth of sunglasses in 2 years.

I've been imprisioned in Vietnam

My watch is worth over $10000

Actually, its #2 - 50 yards underwater. I did have access to one of the program's secret locations, tho.

For you, I'll guess #3. Sorry :-) Although I guess #1 might also be right in a way since, whenever anyone smokes weed, Willie is also smoking it so its kinda like smoking it with him in a cosmic sort of way :)

Correct on both counts. :)

Clod, hp, pretty damn cool!

Jag I'll guess #2, either for overstaying a visa, or unintentional solicitation of prostition.

Russ...I am guessin you like listening to music:)....but that might be a red herring....You didnt actually beat up a cop did you?

My truby was furnishin' m'little cottage on less than £2000 ...top to bottom and starting from scratch right down to the TV the cutlery and the lamps;)God bless IKEA!

HmmmJaguar....the lover of stories in me really wants it to be 2 but I am goin to guess at the first ....Sunglasses go missin all the time...

Although I was hoping that one of his dogs was gonna be a star!!! (they are soooooooooooo cute!) :D

Sat with Chuckles Heston and consumed a few glasses of wine at a reception a few years ago. Spent the whole time wanting to ask him to say "get your hands off me, you dirty damn ape". He was very old man-ish. Stoop shouldered, doddering, slightly medicated air about him.

"Drinking with Charlton Heston" sounded cooler though.

Jag - I'll say #3


i once raced a supercross event in the astrodome

i've flown right seat (co-pilot) in a beechcraft king air

i beat the shit out of a dude who smashed into me by running a red light

Hmmm.....Catwoman....did you meet Her Maj?

plthijinx....you were the copilot?

nope, i only sat up in the cockpit between the pilot/co-pilot. it was back when i first started to fly. only had 9 whole hours at the time.....

1 :D
It's a bad habit, expensive taste, bad memory.

i had sex in the laundry room of a navy frigatte.
i had sex in my mom's bed when i was a teenager.
i had sex with my mom's boyfriend when i was 17.

oh please let it be 3



i'll guess 2 though cuz it's obvious

Going with 1 for stacyv

You're a perv.

But as long as we're discussing it, why not 2 & 3 together? Oh, wait, that would be 2 truths.

Originally posted by staceyv I'll guess 2 AND 3 :)

OK...

1. I drove a stock car at Darlington at over 145 miles per hour.
2. I scuba dove inside a school bus in 38° water.
3. Ted Nugent has been at my house.

Wait a minute wait a minute! HP saidThat means that each and every one of us is one degree away from Kevin Bacon!!!!!

(In SOME way, anyway)

stacyv, I'm sensing a theme here ...

-sm

It got me wondering...how many cellarites are famous or one-offs from famousnessess? I bet at least some of us are "names" in their respective worlds...

If any of those people would like to give me a job, or just some money, please PM me. :D

I have a signed copy of the Crucible if that counts......and my Ex's dad is a genuine bonafide left wing playwright....who whilst not widely known has had his plays translated into many languages and performed in many countries.

Oh ...and my mum once shook the hand of Princess Diana when she was visiting the hosipital mum worked at......she said it was surprisingly limp

I shook Jimmy Carter's hand on a Habitat for Humanity jobsite once. His hand was surprisingly not limp.

i had this conversation with a buddy of mine just last week. I think I can trace myself to 90% of the music industry with two steps - me to someone, someone to them. We went for two hours and didn't come up with anyone that didn't work (should specify, american pop music industry).

-sm