what ever happened to good old porn flicks?
 

They don't make 'em like they used to.

All the tits are plastic. There are no plot lines. ( not even hokey ones). It's the same 5 guys in every movie. The scenes are repetitive, and too long. I personally am not turned on by 10 straight minutes of a shot from behind some guy's shaved sack.

Is anyone making good porn anymore?

Re: what ever happened to good old porn flicks?
 

They don't make 'em like they used to.

Hey it's the digital age man , Make your own. I thought thats what Home Video was invented for...... :D

Your best bet nowadays is the compilation DVD's. You can pick your flavor. If your depravity of choice is female, Latvian, lesbian transvestites there's bound to be a 4 hour compilation to suit your tastes.

Re: Re: what ever happened to good old porn flicks?
 

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Careful...this is Lumberjim you're talking about. Next thing you know, we'll have an Amateur Porn thread started in Lumberjim's Office...

;)

And the problem with that would be............

what, exactly???

:rolleyes:

You mean *besides* the possibility of seeing LJ in all his "glory"?

:D

I'm afraid that even I would be grossed out by that.

Hmmm that would be a problem.... Hopefully he'd go the "Seymour Butts" route and simply handle the camera. (Speaking of which, "The Family Business" was worth a Netflix rental. Or at least the first disc was.)

Hmmm. Is NetFlix worth the price? I've been tempted to try it out, but the thought of yet another monthly payment makes me cringe.

Re: what ever happened to good old porn flicks?
 

I didn't know that. I guess watching 3 minutes at a time, you miss those subtleties.:cool:

3 minutes? Pfftttt! I could beat that.

And for the record I get credit for suggesting the amateur porn forum first.

blue, blue,blue....man is judged by his actions, not his words.

It depends on how much you spend on video rentals and what you like. If you get a hot top seller a couple times a month, it's probably not worth it. If you you rent 5 or more a month and/or you're interested in other things besides the mega-hits, you should seriously consider Netflix. (There are also competing services like greencine.com and nicheflix.com for those who are REALLY into foreign/art things, but they tend to have slower turnaround time than Netflix since Netflix has different shipping locations around the country. Of course that depends on exactly where you live.)

Edit: Strictly in order to avoid thread hijacking, you also have xrentdvd.com.

Not enough bandwith for my butt **G**

amatuer porn is only tolerable to those starring in it. And that just barely. There are legends of hotels where the porn on your tv is the action in the room next door.

I'm thinking more along the lines of Behind the Green Door, and Deep throat. the "new porn" MIGHT have a premise, like a group of people at a resort or on a dude ranch, or girls in prison, but the mst appealing thing for me was always the lead up to the deed. A bit of graphic detail can be good, but you gotta keep those scenes brief, and then move to the next. The sexiest thing, IMO, is the whole "sex could happen anywhere" knid of thing. Like, you( I say "you" meaning the star of the film that you imagine yourself as) go to the dentist, and it's a Librarian Hot" dentist, and she ravishes you right in the chair, or you get pulled over by a female cop.....or you stumble into the dormitory of an all girls catholic college.....

the films they make now might as well be a guy calling a hooker, and banging her by the pool. there's no mystery....you KNOW they're gonna do it.

Yeah, they sure don't make films like "Alien Lust" anymore ...

You need to download more.

Milf Hunter, Mike's Apartment, Flesh Hunter, Anabolic etc. etc.....

Some of them are pretty good. And it is a fresh parade of women, for the most part.

Some of the German stuff (as long as you don't need to understand the finer points of the conversation) is good.

The only dangerous stuff is the Japanese porn. Most is fine, (I have a weakness for orientals) but some of it is sick shit.

Speaking from my lofty position as the closest thing we have to a resident porn star, I can tell you that there is an "indie" movement out there that still makes movies with "plot", some of the older, established California companies still make half decent films (now on video of course) and every now and then, someone comes up with a new and/or funny idea that makes a video (or scene) worth the effort to keep my eyes open.

And if you look carefully, you might even see yours truly in one of those compilation DVDs. I'm out there, and I saw one of my stills on the back of a box at a video rental place in Jacksonville Fla. But you're out of luck, I can't remember the title anymore.

Brian

I'm rarely opposed to a good skin flick, but I do have problems trying to find one that doesn't push my wife's "ewwww" buttons and remains interesting.

She's not into girl-girl scenes (can't blame her, as I doubt guy-guy scenes would excite me), anal sex or facials; for the most part, movies without one or two (let alone all three) of those are watered down to late-night-Cinemax standards.

How does she feel about "Girls Gone Wild"?

Try The Devil in Miss Jones pt 2.

Dagney saw this and laughed heartily. It has no anal, lesbian or facial scenes and a half-decent plot to it that even women can relate to. For porn standards anyway.

It remains one of my top ten porn favorites.

Brian

Is anyone making good porn anymore?
 

Wait, you're married...and you STILL get to watch porn?! How the hell do you pull that off?

1. Go to video store

2. Make selection

3. Go to counter & hand them your card

[3.5. Optional step: smirk at female college student working at the register]

4. Return home

5. Start the tape or disc

That's weird...
 

besides trying to get my own porn label started, since I'm from Philadelphia I would call it the 'dirty quaker'.....with an old man in a billy penn suit with the most lewd smile you can think of :yum:

The other thing I would LOVE to do, would be a to make a porn show, ALA mystery science theater!

I mean come one!!! The indie scene would love it!!

get the REAL bad one's from like the 60'-70's-80's & 90's and just have at them!!

Instead of Tom Servo it could be Tom Cervix
Instead of crow T. Robot it could be Russ T. Knob
Instead of Mike or Joel I would have black guy named Tyrone Shoes and he sits home all day instead of working and watches porn! (of course his baby mamma works to pay the bills) OR if you think that may be to of 'color' I would have a white named Phil McGroin and he's lives in his Mom's basement and watches porn while she's asleep......

THAT WOULD BE GREAT!!!

Oh well I can dream, Later!:rattat:

Dude. I don't wanna rain on your parade, but Phila is NOT the place to try to do porn. Take my word for it.

The place to be is Los Angeles, CA or MAYBE Miami, Fla. That's where the infrastructure, support, and talent is. You can maybe do a scene shoot at a local college for a series like Barely Legal (Hustler) or like that. But there's really no talent here. Professional talent, I mean.

I used to work for Good Time Charlie Video Productions here. They were a startup. Found out that it takes like $10,000 to even THINK about a porn movie. Not counting the investment in camera and editing equipment. Then you got sound stuff, lighting (there's never enough ambient light) and models' fees. Then there's the intangibles like hotel rooms, catering, makeup artist, costuming (yes, costuming. Lingerie is a costume.) Never mind retakes and cuts for stock footage. You think those professional studs always come? Not on your life. They cut in stock footage of a previous money shot he may have done in the past. Watch carefully and you may see the Incredible Changing Nail Polish, Mysterious "Chameleon Hair" or clothes that appear and disappear out of synch with the models and the timeline.

But it IS a nice fantasy. Think of getting PAID to lay pipe! With all those hot chicks! And getting to watch while you recharge for your next scene.

Glad those days are behind me now.

Brian

Actually I'm told Conshohocken is a new center for such stuff. I was told that before that one porn chick turned up dead on the bike trail near there the other week.

OK - so what are some of the best titles for porn flicks that you have seen. I remember stumbling into a porn video store a good while back with some buddies and laughing our asses off at some of the titles. Two that stuck out:

Lickety Clit

...or...

Assmasters

Of course, we could make it interesting and think up a title if a Cellarite were in it.

Such as...

Slumberjim's Lumber Party

...or...

Lumberjimson - Not Just A Hair Gel Anymore

...or...

Lumberjim Whips Out The Wood

...or...

Lumberjim's Log Splitter

Don't mean to pick on Lj but he started the thread and, like a bad Michael Crichton book, sometimes these things take on a life of their own :D

My favorite porn title ever (and, I must admit, some friends rented this one after I noticed it, because we were drunk at the time and were only stopping by the adult video store because it was right next to the liquor store where we were restocking before we headed back to the party)....

Gilligan's Bi-Land.

"politically erect"

Lumberjim's Lumberjohnson

Beestie's Allity

Blew58....he needed the money!

Elspode and his choad

xxxbruce

and so on

Real Porn Title dredged up from memory because I thought it was silly: "21 Hump Street" (loosely based on the Fox TV series popular at the time)

Cellarite Porn Title that I am almost too ashamed to type: "Wolf, at the Back Door"

The Boy Who Cried Wolf