keychain psychoanalysis
 

what can your keychain tell us about you?

does everyone have a digital camera?

take a picture of your keychain in it's current glory (no cheating by adding or subtracting for the photo) and put it up. We'll all make fun of you, and tell you how fucked up you are, and then you can do it to someone else. it'll be fun. Mine's boring, so I won;t bother for now, but, I know there are some freaky ones out there.

I imagine that xoxoxoBruce's are one of two extremes. either a simple loop of keys, or some major doodadderish extravaganza of doodaddyish doodads.

Onxy Cougar's definitely has at least one purple feather.

Wolf's has a tiny Glock

Toad's has a frog and a vw logo

H_P has to have one of those clear plastic balls with the eyeball inside in water.

zippyt's has gotta have semper fi or usmc somewhere

let's see!

Very simple.;)

Is that a key on the right to a pair of handcuffs Bruce? It looks like one but I could be wrong.

I don't like a lot of keys on my keyring...

Yes.;)

where's the cruiser key?

what does it say on the back of that little round tag?

My house is unlocked.My apartment is unlocked.The key for my car is in the ignition.I hate things jingling in my pockets.I like to move quick and make no noise.

"Love Always, Lara" on one side and "4/6/01" on the other. The camera just couldn't pick it up. The keyring was a fifth-year anniversary present.

On the oversized electronic gizmo.
I have 8 cars. I don't carry all the keys all the time.

No eagle globe and ancor here , just a porsche fob. Mostly work keys , every thing from alarm panel keys( Yes I probley have a key to open your alarm panel ) to keys for coin counters ( in casinos ).
Oh and they all weigh 1lb 6.5 oz

and now the pic

Holy Crap Zippy - what do you carry that thing around with - a wheelbarrow?

Well I used to carry that conglomeration of keys in my pocket ALL the time untill a few years ago I took a header into a scale pit , i fell about 3-4 feet flaling about trying to fly I guess , I landed flat on my thigh all 250lbs of me on top of those keys on the top web of an "I" beam . Can you say CHARLEY FUCKING HORSE THE SIZE OF A GOD DAMN GRAPE FRUIT !!!!!!! So now i leave most of them in my truck , and just carry ingition and tool box keys .

Please tell me you don't let that hang off your ignition, ever ...

Or do you just replace it regularly?

Ok these are just my in pocket keys ,
There dose every body feel better !!!

Now , the original subject was to analize keyrings ,
What does this show about a person ???

Here they are. The jeep key is alone and usually hangs in the ignition all the time. Sometimes when I have the top off and run into the store it might go under the seat. Every older jeep I know doesn't need the key to start and run so I don't bother to remove it.

Everybody should have a p38 can opener on their ring as well. Never know when you need to open a can of peaches.

These are the keys I carry with me when using the car. The keys with a fob are the car "winter keys" that stay in the car running during short periods of running into a store for food or whatever. Once a car's warmed up I'd rather leave it idle for a few minutes rather than restarting. That must be a habit from the old days when it was considered a gift from the car god if the it even started during cold weather.

I hate to point out a problem with this fine idea, but it is a simple matter to make a duplicate key based on a photograph... I'd recommend modifying your photo to coincide with your paranoia level. You never know who's watching...

Thanks, but I have "anti-theft" protection.

My keyring is nothing to look at... I'm a keyring minimalist. I have two rings... One with my car ignition and door keys, the other with my house key, parents' house key, mother-in-law's house key, and gun lock key. No fobs, no souvenirs, no garnishes of any kind. Alan is a boring boy.

You missed the picture of my .44 magnum didn't you.

Go ahead and make a copy er my day.

The jeep is never locked, the house is sometimes. The dogs should help you find my secret pot of gold.

If you wouldn't mind feeding the cat though that would help. She'll try to trip you if you don't.

Keys just keep honest people honest though. If a person wants what I have they will get it no matter how many locks I have.

This is a sentimental keyring. It's a long story but each one has a small story behind it.

http://blackstatic.net/keys.JPG

Asterix is from a visit to Parc Asterix in Paris.
The key is to a friend's house in Melbourne, to remind me I'm always welcome.
The magic 8ball is from a friend who's helped me make a log of hard decisions
The elephant is a hindu god who's supposed to help clear your path of obsticles
The platapus and the ultra-tacky Australia ones are internal jokes.
The other blog is a light, damn useful. Should move that to the keyring I carry on a daily basis some time.

http://cellar.org/2004/keychain.jpg

A utilitarian, geeky night-owl sort: the least number of keys needed, and a white-light, AAA battery-powered, water-resistant LED flashlight.

Mine:

how come noone has those little cards on their keychains that you get from the grocery store and the drugstore, and petco, and blockbuster? i have 6 of those, a rhode island thing with my name spelled wrong on it that arsen bought for me at an airport, a ceasar's palace thing that a customer gave me, keys to my grandparent's house, then my house and car...

jinx has one but its black and is behind her jeep key. wegmans markets.

Ljim's:

Wow! I thought the exact same thing when I started looking through this thread. It's nice to know I'm not the only paranoid son-of-a-bitch here.:thumb:

Zip has one too.

darn you alan. foiled my plans again. damned meddling kid. i would have gotten away with it, too. i was going to wait until it was to late to edit the posts before i mentioned that. note that my photo obscures the "important" keys.

Because those little tags are annoying ... I actually keep mine on a separate keychain by themselves that I only pull out when I'm at the giant, shop rite, clemens, genuardis, petco, suncoast video, etc.

Upper Left - My house key set with my wife car fob and key. I put the pocket knife back on today since this project just reminded me that I had removed it anticipating going though security a few weeks ago. Special items include a new LED penlight (bright blue), a small penknife, and a small pen which I just found (the last one broke). The chipped blue triangle thing is my old LED penlight whose clip broke. There is also a Habitat for Humanity token which might not be visible.

Bottom left is my supermarket tags which are normall on my house chain but which I unclipped and artfully fanned for this photo.

Middle is my work set which includes my car key, office magentic key, and my Securid FOB. Securid works by changing the code every minute so that seeing the numbers is no help to a hacker, especially without the serial number and other information. The keys are designed so that if they are lost/stolen they will not be of use to hackers.

The others keyfobs are ones I have had lying around but had to pare down for weight. They include a 'working' mini tricorder, a multitool and a mini crackerjacks box (with toy surprise inside).

The tiny bronze penknife is one I used before upgrading. My favorite (not shown) is temporarily lost. It is a 3/4 inch bronze peanut with a 1/2 inch blade. I used to carry it because noone would ever be able to stand up in a court and say with a straight face that a 3/4 inch peanut is a concealed weapon. It was just right for opening boxes until the blade got gunked up with packing adhesive.

BTW, Hot Pastrami, I blurred the visible key edges.

found batteries.

even managed to find my keys ...

http://scribe.fork.org/cellar/wolfkeys.jpg

So yes, LJ, you're right. There is a tiny Glock on my keychain. The other dangly bits are an inert .40 S&W hollowpoint, a P38 (the work can opener gets stolen fairly regularly by other departments. Not being able to open a can of coffee can cause rioting.) My handcuff key (on this ring anyway) is not as impressive as Bruce's. I do have a fancier one (with an attached LED flashlight) but the hanger fell off it, so if I want to use that one I have to carry it in my pocket. The two most recent additions are the kubaton (aluminum) and the moose thingy ... actually up until recently I had a fairly minimalist keychain ... the only dangly was the bullet. (I don't count the P38 as a dangly, as it is technically a key.)

The kubaton was purchased at a gun show in December, and the carabiner with the moose was a gift from a friend at Yuletide. I had previously had just a carabiner threaded through the keyring. By habit I keep the keys attached either to my belt loop, or if I'm using an off-body concealment holster or purse, to that. The story behind the Glock is kind of interesting. They are made of the same polymer material that's used to make the receivers of the pistols. I have wanted one of these things for a long time, and occasionally would bid on one on ebay. I, however, don't get ebay fever, and drew the line at $10 for what is essentially a free factory promo item. They usually go for around $20-25, so I've never won the auctions. Anyway ... as I was in the WaWa (that's a Philly area convenience store chain) one day, getting some coffee, a guy commented on the hat I was wearing (A Glock Shooting Sports Baseball cap), complimenting me for my taste in firearms.

Got my caffiene fix and went back to my car, to find the dude waiting in the parking lot ... he handed me the little Glock and said "Since you're a fan I thought you'd like this. I've had it for a couple of years and just thought I'd give it to you."

That was it, no further conversation, no attempt at giving or requesting a phone number ... just gave me the Keyfob and drove off into the sunset ...

Below you will find my collection of not-keys. The flashlight on that ring is a Streamlight, not a MagLite. Streamlight is a locally based company hereabouts. I buy Maglites for my headbashing-in needs (my car flashlight is a 6 D-cell Maglite) but my smaller kicking around lights are from Streamlight (including that cool handcuff key mentioned above).

http://scribe.fork.org/cellar/wolfnotkeys.jpg

I recently went through the notkeys and removed tags for stores that have gone out of business.

I'm going to try to not be bitter about the fact that I just discarded about 75 of the damn things we got from the SHOT show for the gunshop. The idea was to give them away when people bought a Glock, but we usually forgot. At some point during the last couple years, they ended up in my possession. No one else wanted them, and I think I trashed them last summer.

I could've gotten $1500 on eBay for those little bastards? Dang.

I went a whole $20 for a Glock Armorer's Apron.

Thought that was worth it. You have to be properly dressed to barbecue, and I've paid that much for other, more conventional aprons.

Glock merchandise sells like wildfire. The bidding wars get pretty amazing.

WOLF!

whole foods tag.

is this the fresh fields in devon, or is there another that i dont know about?

Mine say...nothing, really.

I have a Rainbow records tag which shut down all their remote stores and have one left in Newark, DE.

So I have 5 supermarket tags, one pharmacy, and two 'other'.

It looks like Wolf has 5 market tags, although I'm not sure about some of them.

I thought I was the only one who had a truckload of supermarkets near work and home. I keep on hearing stories about the lack of supermarkets in cities, etc.

North Wales.

I don't go there often, but do go. They've probably deleted me out of their database (again). I used to shop there more regularly when I lived in Ambler, which was MUCH closer than where I am now. I do still sometimes go to Fresh Fields with some of my hippie treehugger friends. Somehow, though, I always seem to go on "Hostile Lesbian Day." Or am I misinterpreting signals and being rammed in the ass by a cart wielded by a bull dyke in Birkenstocks part of their mating rituals?

I really like their breads and oooh ... the bittersweet chocolate they sell!!! Some of the personal care product lines they have are good. I like the JR Liggetts Old Fashioned Bar Shampoo, and can't get that anywhere else. Their coffee and tea selections are also pretty darn good, and they do occasionally have ginger beer (which is a soft drink not an alcoholic beverage).

Most of the major chain supermarkets have increased their organic/whole foods sections (like Genuardis) so I don't have to go as far to get things like overpriced tasteless organic cup o' miso soups and cup o' couscous.

There are six supermarket tags on there ... Giant, Clemens, Acme, Shop Rite, Fresh Fields/Whole Foods, and P&C (which is a supermarket chain near Fort Slang). I don't carry a Genuardi's tag. They key to your phone number. I actually use my mom's card there, saves me the trouble of having to actually fill out the damn forms.

I generally hate these kinds of things ... tracking what you buy is a pet peeve of mine. For stores that give cards immediately on filling out the application rather than mailing them (which is most of them these days, assuming you aren't adding "check cashing privileges") I provide not quite accurate information.

The only card that I use with REAL regularity is the Suncoast "replay" card. I should be getting another rebate coupon any minute now ...

FUNNY.

yeah, that would be hostile lesbian day.

Jinx went on a miso kick a while back, and the cup o miso was replaced by homemade miso, which was more cost effective.

next time your in there, grab some chicken nibblers from the prepared deli section. yummy. buffalo style or plain are best.

we go there once per month for essentials, vitamins, dr bronners soap, ricemilk, etc. i cant get out of there for under $250 and thier carts are tiny.

is that an 8 ball, or just a ball and chain? and how does Rho feel about that if it's the latter?

That is because their food is fucking overpriced.

Even if you are buying regular old cornflakes, or one of the other "convetional/available at the acme" products ... 1.5 - 2X the cost.

But don't you feel better by not being a total corporate tool and slave of marketing ... oh wait. You just WERE. But you don't think of it that way, because, well ... that's how those stores are marketed. Tee hee.

I'm not sure I hold with the whole notion of a keychain being any sort of serious indicator of personality, but if it is, I'm guessing there's not much to me.

Starting with the large Ford key and going clockwise, the sole content of my keychain is:

Ford Explorer key, Nissan Sentra key, Martin HD48 case key, PO Box key (pretty much concealing) my house key, key to someplace at work, key to front door at work, key to my office at work, camper key, another PO Box key, another camper key. These are mounted on an easy-open key ring.

It's an 8 ball, though the number has worn off...I noticed last night that Jag and I have similar keychains.

The only one in chains around here is Rho, except when I let her out of the house.

well, i dont think the keys themselves tell us much, but what they open may. like your guitar case.

big$$ guitar, that one. the juggernaut. my dad has one. it's magic

i dont think you even have to know how to play to play that guitar. its almost like cheating. they get better with age, as you have, i'm sure, uncle elspode.

oh yeah, i forgot to mention that you and bruce are everyone's uncles on here. did you get the memo?

actually, their rice milk is 1.69/box, where lower quality fro wegmans goes for 2.79. most of what we buy there cannot be found elsewhere, but, yeah, 2.99 for a jar of salsa sticks in my craw. but jinx tells me it's the best around.

The real deal for keychain psychanalysis is this ...

I have a theory I call diagnosis by accessory. Part of my job is to go through people's stuff and log it into the safe.

Certain psychological issues often manifest themselves in the things people carry.

Schizophrenics have lots of little bits of useless crap tucked either into their pockets or purses. Old cigarette butts are a favorite, straw wrappers, church flyers and religious tracts, and their last twenty years worth of electrical bills.

Crazy old ladies have thousands of dollars. In bank envelopes. Many for banks that went out of business in the mid-80s. These envelopes are hidden in various secret comparments in her purse, and it takes you three fucking HOURS to find all the hidey holes in the lining of that black pocketbook with the snap closure that's she's had since Eisenhower was president.

Bipolar Disorder, Manic Women carry LARGE purses that contain everything they might possibly need at every given moment. (Males may have briefcases or messenger bags).

People with Antisocial Personality Disorder, the career criminal type, all carry those wallets with the chain attached to them that you snap or hook to your belt.

Borderline Personality Disorder is diagnosable in two ways. One is the existance in a person's suitcase or plastic bag collection of a stuffed animal. It does not have to be a bear. It can be any plush comfort item. One of our most famous borderline patients had a pig named "Chucky". We'd come into the office and see a pile of crap with this pig on the top and say "Oh, when did Pam get in?"

The OTHER diagnosable item for borderlines is the keychain (this is what you've all been waiting for). The number and size of non-key items is important. Storetags do not count in this assessment. borderlines have all kinds of shit hanging off their keychain. There may be one or two keys on the chain o' stuff, but always far fewer keys than fobs. There will be souvenier items from various places, and a lot of those "message" key tags from Spencer Gifts, particularly ones with statements indicating that men are bad or stupid, as well as one identifying the holder of the keys as either "princess," "diva," or "bitch." There may be at least one mini clothing item ... shoe, leather jacket, hat.

Just as not every schizophrenic sees things and hears voices, not everyone with the above disorders carries the above diagnostic items. But I do have a high degree of accuracy with my diagnosis by accessory theory.

Oh? Really? Fuck.

Jag, because you're so transient, you need extra fobs to represent home and roots.:)

So what do depressives carry? You covered everyone else. What about ME?;)

My keys are on a simple ring, 6 keys (work keys are separate)
the only thing of note is that I have 3 color coded cap thingies on my house keys, cause there are multiple locks to keep straight. And this maybe telling, my spouse has the three keys color coded as well, but differently, so if I grab his keys I have to remember that combination. But have I taken the time to sychronize the keys? Or he mine? nah. pathetically lazy disorder.

As a 40 something woman who loves to cook I have to chip in about Whole foods: Great meat. Great chicken. Great Sausage. Great cheese. worth the extra $- but the weekly sales are good too. I gotta say I get freaked out by the state of the meat I see in general supermkts. WF is clean, fresh, cut and wrapped to order.
There are two in my area, one is big, posh and very strangely arranged. (would you put all the pasta in one place please?) The other is smaller and great.
Our Whole Foods has "365" label products- from olive oil to crackers, pop to chicken broth. priced very well and generally tasty organic. they have a 1lb frozen peeled shrimp bag I'm diggin.
Organic produce is so expensive, so unless really tempting, I usually go to the supermkt- and wait for the Farmers mkt.
Comparing "health" type foods between the regular market (here its Rainbow Foods) and WF- Like Stoneyfield Yogurt- WF is .20 cheaper. I like Kashi products- WF is easily .50 cheaper across the board. Muir Glen tomato things- WF is cheaper. Specialty cheeses also compare at anywhere from $1-2 less per pound than other mkts if you can find them there at all. So I'm a WF fan.

And what about people who just have KEYS, no keychains at all?

Rho shops at Whole Foods, but I'm not overly impressed with their products. Maybe I'm just spoiled by the preservatives and other not so good stuff that is put in "regular" food.

This is my key chain. The purple thing is something I got at a convention a few years back (meant to hold your ID badge for the convention). I have it on my key chain because I loose the stupid things all the time and I find the long purple thing attached to it helps me find it under papers, chairs, pillows, and the many other places I set my keys down.

Whoops...that should have been HD *28*, not 48...doh!

I must admit, with some embarrassment, that I really like those new coated Kwikset key blanks (like beestie has) ... of course, they become available JUST as I get my apt lock replaced which, instead of being on the original Kwikset blank like the OLD one is on the newer, larger style blank.

Feh.

No cool US flag or tiedyed keys for me. :(

Wolf, did you move since the last time I checked in with you?