I think somebody needs a nap.
 

When I was a kid, and had some problem I was upset about, I would inevitably recieve the comment, "Ohhh, i think somebody needs a nap!"

This comment enrages me so much. Here I have a geniune complaint, and I am told that I am only upset because I am tired. When I get tired, I fucking go to sleep. I don't run around the house screaming because of it. This comment is so dehumanizing that it drives me crazy. I mean, what if we were in a vegan debate, Quzah makes his arguments, and somebody says, "Quzah, I think somebody needs a nap." That's fucking bullshit! What a copout.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. I think somebody needs a nap.







:D

First let me say that it is obvious that Quzah does need to get more sleep. Either that or he's naturally cranky.

Second. I know my kids. I know them better than I know anyone else [even my wife] because I'm in the business of helping them become the best people they can be.

There are situations where they start complaining about stuff that I know would not bother them if they were not tired. Often it's stuff they know better than to complain about in the first place - chores, homework, etc. When they were younger and this happened, I sent them to their rooms for a nap.

Now that they are older, I tell them I won't discuss the issue until they get more rest and that they will be going to bed early that night.

BTW, I have been in situations with my kids where I was the one that was tired and cranky. I apologized to my kids and sent myself to bed for a nap.

Third. As I recall you have a baby in the house. Yes? I am already getting enjoyment out of visualizing you handling this situation with your own child.

Fourth. The way you write it, it sounds like your parents were sneering or making fun of you when they said it. That might be what is really bothering you. I never talk down to my kids and didn't even when they were toddlers. Children are not tiny adults, but they do deserve to be treated with respect.

I'm with Dar. When my son starts crying at the suggestion of getting out the colouring books and crayons, it's time for a nap. Sometimes, what's wrong is simply that he is tired. But of course, there is no way he will ever admit that to me. Naptime is not fun (although it doesn't have to be torture), but still something that needs to be done with young children. My son gets a 2-hour nap most every day, and if he doesn't get that, starts acting fussy and rubbing his eyes, you can be pretty certain that yes, someone needs a nap.

But I do agree that more than a few parents use this as a copout. But the times I've seen it, its been used by parents who never learned how to discipline their children in the first place. Naptime should never be used as punishment, a parent should do their best to make it as positive an experience as possible.

Re: I think somebody needs a nap.
 

man, you whine a lot. take the friggin dress off, nancy.

I don't think you need a nap, I think you need an enema.

Just lay down and close your eyes for a minute. I promise you'll feel better.

I think you're probably right with this. Man, this is becoming a serious issue with me, isn't it?

So many parenting things cause me blind rage. But at their core, they're probably the right thing to do -- it's just the immense lack of respect when they're executed that ends up pissing me off. Except I end up blaming the surface action instead?

Yeah, that's why I'm trying to figure this shit out. If have insecurities, I need to figure out what they are and get over them so I can do this stuff the right way (whatever that is).

Re: Re: I think somebody needs a nap.
 

What should I do, bottle it up? That doesn't solve anything!

Well, thanks for this Perth. Perhaps when my child gets older I will see this. On the other hand, it's nice to know that perhaps both sides could be true at the same time.

I think that if instead, when I had a complaint, people said to me, "No, dude, you're just a fucking moron", that it would elicit the exact same response in me.

Like I don't know what <b>I'm</b> feeling!

"Hey, this irritates me"

"No it doesn't. You're an idiot. You don't even know what you're feeling. I know what you're feeling better than you".


Auuughh!

-------------

My apologies.. I still felt like venting. :)

I think I misunderstood you. I was defending the place of naptime in the life of a parent. Sorry. :)

I think parents often make assumptions about what is bothering a child; I've done it myself on more than on occasion. Yeah, to tell a child what is wrong with them rather than to let them tell you is an invalidation of their feelings, whether intentional or not. The best I can really do when I catch myself doing it is to stop, apologise to my son, ask him what is wrong, and then help him correct it.

In the life of a child, too...you and I both know how miserable a 2 year old is if he doesn't get a nap one day.

Dude, if you want to repress your emotions because of some outdated sense of masculinity, that's fine. It's unlikely to phase me, though.

i was just commenting on my opinion that you tend to overreact and take things personally....

who says a sense of masculinity is outdated. just because you're in touch with your feminine side, doesn;t mean you have to ignore your masculine side.

dave would be kicking your ass all over the cellar by now over this.

Maybe, maybe not. I'm open to the idea, but I'm not sure it's true.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean?

Dave attempts to control people by hurting their feelings, which is evil. If you think this a good way to "keep people in line", then you need help.

I don't mean to be argumentative, though. I'm open to any suggestion of change. That's why I voice my frustrations in the first place. I think that I have to figure myself out if I'm going to be a good parent. Is the anger I hold for the things my mom did valid, or am I just misunderstanding her difficult position? I think this is really important for me to figure out.

Depends on your definition of masculinity. In this case, I think juju is heading in the right direction. Parenting is the hardest thing you'll ever do. It's worth some reflection.

Since the only model most of us have for parenting is how our parents did it, it's very hard to escape that and parent in a different, and hopefully better, way.

If juju's way of thinking about that is to go over the stuff he didn't like when he was growing up, then that's what works for him.

He was even big enough to admit he might have been wrong. I think that deserves applause, not snide comments.

I can relate to this. I find myself looking back and wondering whether my anger with my parents' behavior is valid and whether I will end up doing the same things to my son. I realized something, though. The fact that you focus that much on how you are raising your child indicates that you are doing an excellent job, so far. As long as you keep that awareness fresh, I think it will come naturally.

I think one of the biggest problems that the world is facing today is everyone's urge to understand things instead of just letting them go.

Anger in some situations is appropriate, repressed anger over emotional trauma in the distant past is a waste of time, effort, and emotional headspace. Just let it go. Understanding it won't do you any real good.

Concentrate on how you would like to rear your child and the relationship that you would like to have with your child.

You don't think that by understanding whether or not a certain parental action was immensely wrong or a good idea, it'll help me decide whether or not to do that action?

Finding out that I was actually done wrong helps me get over the anger. Because otherwise, I'm just pissed off for no reason, to which people respond discouragingly. But then I get angry trying to justify myself, because I can't help how I feel. But if I know I was right, then maybe I can begin to get over it.

If it turns out it was a simple misunderstanding on my part, then I can realize I was wrong, and then I can get over it.

But I can't get over it without understanding. That's now how people work. At least, I don't think so.

I think we need to ask an important question here: Who the fuck cares?

Juju, you seem to have some unresolved issues regarding your parents. I'm no expert by any means, but I personally think it would be worth it for you to explore that realm further.

it was a comment meant to cut through the theatrics. The thread is now moving in a direction that juju intended. What have we witnessed as children that we can change about the way we raise our children.

That's a good thread topic.

The reason i was harsh to juju about this was because of the way he began this thread ( and he's done it before) He comes from the direction of a frustrated teenager. complaining about the way his feelings are being trod on.

[homie] i's just tryin to slap my bitch up. get him thinkin right. [/homie]
The direction this has taken NOW is what juju says he was trying to convey in the first place, right?

I'll admit to being a bit of a prick aboutit, dar512. I was just tired of the whining from him after the spaz attack he had on that thread------>
yesterday

Well personaly I LIKE to take a nap after work , give me an hour or 2 for a little dozeing and I am a HAPPY camper .

Now about kids takeing a nap , Dude after a while you will figuer out that your kid is being a hellion because they are tired , thus the saying " i think Somebody needs a nap ".

About your unresolved problems with your mom ,
Troubleshooter got it right when he said ,"Anger in some situations is appropriate, repressed anger over emotional trauma in the distant past is a waste of time, effort, and emotional headspace. Just let it go."
As a child my father died when i was 5 , my mom went thru 2 failed business , alcholisim , drug addiction ,,,,,,,,,,
She used to take out her frustrations on us , Being made to drop your drawers and getting spanked was the least of it , try getting punched out ( lites out that is ) for getting an f on a school paper , or getting your ass kicked ALL weekend for getting a second F. This was back in the days when a dr wouldn't think about calling the cops unless the parent damn near killed you , "Oh DR. he is just so accedent prone " MY ASS !!!!
But you know what I learned from the experence , both our kids are VERRRRY well adjusted , they understand how to function in society and are doing WELL !!!
So let the past be just that , the past .
Life is a learning experence , and some times EVERY body NEEDS a "TIME OUT ".
IMHO

Speaking as someone who actually puts uncooperative adults in time out ...

It doesn't work on them either.

Four hours in four-points, on the other hand ...

I don't want to hyjack this thread




My kids used to get "overtired". especially when they were very young. This state of overtiredness put them into a frenzied, eyes darting, knees bent advancing behavior mode. They would be harder to keep focused, and more likely to have violent mood swings. crying/laughing/crying ...And if it got to this point, when I finally did wrestle their jammies onto them, brush their teeth, endure the four separate trips by the tandem for drinks then potty, they would practically vibrate with chaotic energy for unpredictable amounts of time until they finally passed out.

Sort of like a Barbarian's berserker mode?

my boy is almost 2-1/2 and still gets 2 naps a day. hell i'm 34 and take one a day! if T doesn't get at least one nap in he's a hellion to the nth degree. i get the proverbial screeimg, kicking, hitting the dog, rubbing the eyes and just plain bitchy in the extreem cases. nothing that a 2 hour nap can't take care of. T is my first child and boy, what a difference he has made in my life. most people have 9 months to get ready. my wife at the time and i adopted T. it happened this fast: one sunday morning the phone rang and it was a friend of ours who asked if we were still looking to adopt and that her aunts daughters best friend had a 2 week old that she wanted to give up for adoption. T was taken home that night. talk about falling off into the deep end without swimming first! imo, you decide if your going to be the quality parent you want to be. it's in your instincts, albeit some lack this quality. Juju, you'll do alright man, your in for the learning experience of a lifetime. as T gets older, i learn something new about him and myself. these experiences will never end and i don't want them to.