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Serious advice needed
Ok, normally I'm far too wordy with my posts... this one is easy.
The past couple days my posts have been hyper-logical concerning relationships. I'd reduce it down to numbers and equations, doing my best to look at it from as unemotional a viewpoint as I could. I broke up with my girl exactly one week ago. For months I had grown malcontent b/c she seemed materialistic. And she never seemed to want to DO anything for me, even though I did my best to draw blood from stone for her. And while I try to be the most open-minded person I can be, she always seemed so close-minded. We couldn't carry on a solid debate b/c she'd get so bogged down in the small details. And she liked Cartoon Network while I liked Fox News. She could talk for hours about the stupidest crap. And all my friends told me that I deserved "better". But. After being together for EVERY waking moment... after just one week of isolation... I find myself in a strange place. I miss her. I mean, I was so sure a week ago. I delivered the breakup in a cool, unemotional manner. But now... I mean I know... I know with 100% certainty that this girl loved me. How often do you find that? While she was pretty, she was never the prettiest girl. But after we'd been together I saw a different person. And when I talked she actually listened to what I had to say. She'd gotten to the point where she was closer to my family than *I* was. She was willing to sacrifice any and every thing for me. Did I make a mistake? :( :( :( |
Sounds like you're going through the post-breakup yearning/delusion. Now that you're apart, and probably miserable, she seems incredibly desirable.
Don't fall for it just yet...give yourself a little more time...try not to dwell on her too terribly much at this point. You could meet the woman of your dreams tomorrow, but if you're too wrapped up in the boo-hoo over the ex, you'll miss her. Good luck! |
Post a pic of her and then I'll decide. :rolleyes:
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Re: Serious advice needed
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Nah, just kidding -- things change and what happens afterwards is always difficult when there is one less person in the picture no matter what as you aren't used to it any other way. But if you felt the need to break up with her, it was probably for the best. Continuing on in such a relationship where you question it in that way isn't a good idea. Trust me on that one. Give it more time, for both yourself and for her. And, when in doubt, check out the liquor discussion thread over in Food and Drink for more ideas on how to deal with these issues. |
Dude, I think she's possessed.
Just kidding, of course. And is that a Leprechaun on her belly? BUT, I would ask yourself one question: "Did I know more about what I was doing a week ago or today?" Go with the answer. Then, take Kitsune's advice. |
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Right now all I know is that I've never felt more alone in my life than tonight. There's something very sobering about drinking beer all alone... knowing that she won't call, and all the friends I've ostracized because of her won't call... it makes a man feel like an island. (And yes, I fully appreciate the juxtaposition of 'sobering' & 'drinking' in that comment) |
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Go out, hang out with friends, or get creative with something. Remove your mind from it for awhile. |
Drinking while depressed=BAD!
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Besides there's no hurry, this is a football weekend.:D |
<b>Riddil</b>,
Definitely a keeper in the looks department. And you're not bad yourself, big boy. :3eye: But you say you aren't connecting on an intellectual level. I don't know how long you two were dating, but as time goes by looks get less important and that mental connection becomes all the more so. If you want, just shoot me her phone number and I'll try to put in a good word for you. And what is that aerial view of the US Capitol doing on the wall? Are you a <i>terrorist</i>? |
Weekend nights are always the worst.
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NBN is right...brains first, then looks, if you want the whole thing to have any meaning at all.
If all you want is some sex and something that you can, if you choose, call 'love', then I don't think you'll have any trouble. You seem very articulate, and you are an attractive, young male specimen. Go to a bar. Go to a Borders. Go where the women are, find one for whom there is some form of mutual attraction, and go with the flow. My first wife was (and I hope you don't think me arrogant, it is simply true) my vast intellectual inferior...but she was a *babe* in her young days. Now, 11 years post-divorce, neither of us is much in the looks department, and she's still dumb as a post, but I'm blessedly married to an intelligent, articulate, devoted, spiritual woman to whom the first one could never hold a candle. That is because I've learned to think with the big head, my friend. It isn't that the little head isn't pleased with the present Mrs., it is just that we have a lot going on upstairs together, and it is just as fulfilling as what goes on downstairs. |
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Or maybe it is just my criminal face. :) |
It's just your criminal face, Kitsune. :)
Though I do have to say that it was so easy to meet and talk to people in college...easier than it is to do in the real world now. |
You could buy (or borrow) one of those little "pussy magnet" dogs.;)
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Holy crap, this thread took an interesting turn.:eek:
Hehe... anyhow, I do feel a lot better this morning. I think the key is time. Life is a long, long ride, don't rush anything and make hasty decisions. The break-up was a well thought-out process. Now that I'm past it I should take just as much time/effort to consider any doubts I have. *sigh* That, and to stop drinking in some feeble attempt to replace the emotional cloud with a drunken haze. That would probably help a little bit too. ;) |
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That, and to stop drinking in some feeble attempt to replace the emotional cloud with a drunken haze. I'm speaking from personal experience, so this might not apply, but The Great American Interstate is a wonderful cure. There is nothing like getting in the car and just driving someplace you've never been. I found that the road, time alone, and new sights were a much better escape than diving into a bottle. That, and pulling into a Waffle House at some strange hour of the morning and refilling on coffee before continuing on the journey was oddly therapeutic. Mmm... pecan waffle. |
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yes, not everyone is as lucky as those of us near philly: 99% OF THEM ARE VERY CLEAN, TOO http://www.wawa.com/storelocator/images/loc5.jpg http://www.wawa.com/foodchoices/imag...-coffeecup.jpg Freshly Brewed Wawa Coffee Wawa customers enjoy over 125 million cups of our award winning Coffee each year. We brew it fresh every 20 minutes using our own special blend of the finest roasted coffee beans and filtered water, for an exceptional cup of coffee. You'll find our commitment to quality in every cup of Wawa Freshly Brewed Coffee you drink. We also offer Wawa Dark Roast, Flavored Coffees and Cappuccino, or take home our "Wawa Beans" Freshly Ground Coffee. Thanks for making Wawa Freshly Brewed Coffee your choice. Wawa has a variety of flavors to suit the coffee lover in all of us. Stop by any time of day and pick up a piping hot cup. Available in 12, 16 and 20 oz sizes. Our selection includes: Wawa Original Blend Dark Roast Decaffeinated Irish Cream Hazelnut Chocolate Macadamia Nut Vanilla Cream Decaffeinated Hazelnut Caramel Try one of our Smooth and Creamy flavors of Cappuccino: English Toffee Hot Chocolate French Vanilla Fat-free French Vanilla Cappuccino Featured Flavor* *Feature Flavor! Caramel Steamers A steamer is a blend of milk, rich caramel and hint of vanilla steamed together for a taste that's perfect for the warm weather months. Coming Soon Cafe' Latte Steamer what part of the country do you hail from kit?WAWA'S SITE |
Click on the profile, Jim.
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that, and i forgot all about the profile bit :) |
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...but Riddil, that is what I suggest: get out and about. Staying at home is the absolute worst after any relationship turmoil. |
WaWa Coffee is now available in the new 24 oz size ... (I think they are trying to directly compete with 7-11 in this respect. 7-11 has had the keg o' coffee for quite a few years now.)
WaWa doesn't really have anyplace to sit, hangout, peoplewatch and chat, though. This was on thing that I noticed about the 24-hour Dandy Marts on the way up by Fort Slang ... first that they have a seating area, in case you want to munch on your DandyDog and DandyPizza right there. The more astonishing thing, for me, was that there were ASHTRAYS. :eek: This made things a lot easier for the pair of CrazyGuys who typically sit there at 2am. Smoking. Inside. In a convenience store. I boggled. I was very, very frightened to see that the new East Norriton SuperWaWa has SHOPPING CARTS. If you need a shopping cart, you should be at the Genuardis. WaWa is for stuff you can carry. |
Wa Wa's? They named this place after nitrous oxide cylinders?
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i think it means "flying goose" in a Native American language...http://www.wawa.com/images/nav/nav-l...ntwawalogo.gif
note the logo |
From the company's website:
"Wawa" is a Lenni Lenape Indian word for the Canada Goose that was found in the Delaware Valley, that's why we use the goose on Wawa's corporate logo. |
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duh. if i had bothered to read the site, i'd probably have seen that. see how i am? i took the logo and ran. for those of you who don;t know, the president of the company's name is Dick Wood. We sold Dick Jr a jeep a while ago.
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While we are on the subject (sort of) of strange convenience store names ...
I was told about this chain in Iowa some while back. |
One of the Wawas near me (Frankford and Linden Aves.) has carts...I laughed the first time I saw them. It's not even that big of a store!
I can't believe they're accepting debit/credit cards now...I would suspect it was done to stay competitive with other convenience store chains. Of course, that's good for people that don't normally carry cash on them (like me), but now they'll start losing money on every credit/debit transaction. |
Dick Wood?!?!?!? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
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Re: Serious advice needed
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How can she talk for hours about the stupidest crap but really listen to you? I'm confused..... |
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Re: Re: Serious advice needed
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I could have asked her to do anything, and she would have done it immediately. Cook my dinner, do my laundry, dye your hair, don't call me for a week, really anything, and she would have done it. The problem is there's a definite difference b/w *asking* someone to do something, and having them *choose* to do something for you. Sure, she was very vocal, she'd give compliments or profess her feelings, but when it came to action... there wasn't much. And yeah, she could talk for hours about crap, and I'd let her run with it. (My motto is that if you find something important enough to share, then it must be important to you, so I'll let you finish). But still, whenever I talked she'd listen with her full attention. Yahmean? |
Riddil,
I myself have just come out of a relationship much the same as you have been describing. My ex would do ANYTHING I asked, and he would listen to me very intently, but he too would talk constant crap and it often bored the shit out of me (although I never let on). Tim was INCREDIBLY good looking, But would insist on watching cartoons every morning which drove me insane. We lived together for two years, but had been together since I was 17. We were comfortable. When we were together it was really good, but not great. I loved him and was contently happy but at the back of my mind I knew there was something more out there, someone I would connect with better on a mental scale. So I made the decision to move out and move back to my dads home (6hours from Tim) and while the distance made it easier for the recovery, I started to feel much better in myself... Until he moved to live near me again, and when I was seeing him again in our social groups, I started to think I had made a mistake. So foolishly I started spending time with him alone again. But it was never the same. After having that time apart I had started to get over him and then having him back again was such a let down. I had rocked the boat too much and so much water was already inside that the decent under water was inevitable. Advice I can give you is that you make it either black, or white. There cant be any grey area as far as I am concerned because that CAN destroy the scrap of relationship that you have left. Which hurts you both even more. So I would recommend staying clear of her until you decide what it is that you want to do. I wouldnt worry about being alone too long if I were you either. I wouldn't argue with anyone saying you were HOT! Damn boy!!;) |
OK!! I forgot to mention it in the last post, but mmmboy.
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Tim was INCREDIBLY good looking, But would insist on watching cartoons every morning which drove me insane.
Alright -- what's the deal? I'm missing something, here. What's wrong with cartoons? |
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NOTE: I am NOT implying that all ppl who watch cartoons are immature or lack intelligence. Tim went with me for several years.. i doubt theres anything smarter than that ;) |
Hmm. You are correct: Dragonball Z is pretty mindless. Seeing someone absorbed in it would be disturbing.
immaturity is just not on my top ten on my list of most desireable attributes to a person Oh, hell. Sun_Sparkz, there's something I need to explain to you about males... |
Now wait a minute. I like cartoons. I even like DBZ. Stuff blows up constantly, which can be pretty mindless, yet is still cool. Anyway, there's a lot of interesting character development in that show. My point is, screw you people. So there.
(Note: that last part was humor) By the by, Riddil, trust yourself. When you were in a better state of mind you were convinced this was the right course of action. Now your logic is cloud by lots of emotions and the confusion caused by having your regular routines destroyed. So, you consider that your mind was functioning better then that it is now. Don't worry, it'll straighten out and you'll think clearly again soon enough. |
you're good looking enough to get better and you seem intelligent. if you two aren't compatible then please don't waste your time. it's normal to feel lonely and to miss her but that doesn't mean that she's "the one". just try to learn from the relationship. now you know a few things that you can look for (or run from) with the next girl you date. once you get out there and start dating again, you won't miss her as much. in my experience, if you break up with someone once, you will never be right for each other. i dated one guy for 2 1/2 years and i loved him a lot and he loved me, but there were things about us that weren't compatible, so we kept breaking up and then missing each other and getting back together...what a waste of time. the real end of our relationship came because of the same reasons that caused us to break up the very first time. we were like a fly banging itself against a window. you CAN find someone who you are more compatible with. it might take time, but you owe it to yourself. i read somewhere that marrying the right person determines 90% of whether or not you will be happy in life.
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Fine, the men can't have mind candy cartoons. The women, then, are no longer permitted mind candy magazines such as Cosmopolitan and their deep analysis of Fifty Ways to Slim Down for Summer. Your move.
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:thumb: Thank you, UT.
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Next they'll want me to cancel my subscription to Maxim! :angel:
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And I like DBZ. And Two Stupid Dogs. And Dexter's Lab. |
The Anamaniacs.
Best cartoon ever. I don't think a kid ever understood half the humor in that shor...let alone Ren & Stimpy. |
LOL... Everquest... the sad part is I *have* considered "drowning my sorrows" in an MMO to suck up all the free time I have now. But! I have to resist. 3 years ago I walked away from a 100-hour-a-week MMO addiction, and haven't looked back. The way I see it is that MMO's don't subtract anything from your life, but they keep you from doing *anything* else to actually add to it.
So I think I'll learn to play the guitar instead. ;) And yeah... it's funny about the whole cartoon thing. I can appreciate a good mind-numbing cartoon every once in a while. But when the person you're attached to actually schedules time out of their day to watch Sponge Bob fricken square pants... and then they feel the need to call you when it's over and explain each and every so-damn-funny scene... you get tired of cartoons pretty quickly. *tears out hair* Heh.. it's funny... now that you've gotten me back on the chain of thoughts remembering the frustrating things in our relationship, it's all pretty clear again. Woohoo! Let the emotional rollercoast ride on!! :p |
years ago I walked away from a 100-hour-a-week MMO addiction, and haven't looked back
:eek: Damn! Are these games really that addictive? I've not touched any MMORPGs, before, but I do fear that I'd get pulled into the trap of "EverCrack". As for cartoons, I actually hate to admit it, but every so often they are my escape. Work sucks, life gets rough and cartoons make it better either through reminders of carefree years gone by or just through the wonderful mindnumbing they produce. SpongeBob, however, is not one of these cartoons. The Anamaniacs. Best cartoon ever. Amen. They need to bring back shows like that! I'm hugely dissapointed that Sunday morning stuff no longer exists. |
I have a soft spot for "Freakazoid!", another endlessly-self-referential spoof that you all need to watch.
I still have a Freakazoid sound bite as my Windows startup sound: DEXTER'S MOM: You spend far too much time with that computer! DEXTER: It's my life! DEXTER'S MOM: (deadpan) That's so very, very sad. |
Kitsune, want to find out?
I can hook you up...the first one's always free ;) With me and the gang, we'll have you hitting 80 a week in no time. We'll powerlevel you to 65 in 2 weeks and we'll have you in the planes in 3 weeks. In a month you won't remember the phone number of your RL friends but you'll know all your class AAs and planar raid tactics. In three months you'll dream about EQ. By 6 months RL won't seem 'real' anymore - it will become that time between EQ sessions. In a year you will burn out and quit. When you will look back you'll have no idea how any of that happened. |
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