A strange and terrible weekend
 

Sorry for the long post, but it was a long weekend....

The strangeness started last Thursday... The company I work for suddenly decided that they were going to shut down for the Christmas season to save a few bucks, so all employees had to take whatever paid vacation they have, and borrow against the next year's vacation time if necessary to cover the two weeks. Strange, and unexpected.

The strangeness continued on Saturday... I'm a calm, reasonable, friendly person who is not known as a trouble maker... But one way to push my buttons is to call me a liar, to question my integrity. On Saturday, I was waiting in line for the Return of the King with my wife, my sister, my and sister's boyfriend, when I stepped out of line to grab us some snacks. When I tried to return to the line, I was stopped by a theater manager who told me that nobody could go past that point, even if they had friends in line beyond there, and that I would have to wait at the end. I asked to at least go inform my friends of the situation, and he refused. He said "Why don't you just go to the end of the line like I told you to?"

"Why don't you exhibit some good customer service and let me go tell my party what's going on?" Again, he refused.

I told him that my wife was up there, and to the two pimply teenagers taking tickets beside him, he said "Well, his story just gets better and better, doesn't it?"

At this insinuation that I was lying, I bristled, and pushed past him. "Come, let me introduce you to my wife, you son of a bitch," I suggested helpfully.

He followed me, and when we arrived, he asked my wife, "Do you know this man?" When she responded that I was her husband, he said "Fine." He turned to me and said "You need to learn to behave yourself in public, sir," and turned to walk away. He stopped however, and seemed upset, when I suggested that he kiss my ass. "Ok," he said, "Let's go. Refund."

I looked him in the eye and said "If you want me to leave, you'll have to force me." As the line finally started moving into the theater, he scurried off to fetch the "police." We all sat in the theater for a few minutes, waiting for the movie to start, before he showed up again with two mall security guards in tow. He walked down my aisle, and stood next to me, and asked if I wanted to apologize for my remarks, as the security gaurds stood with their hands on their hips nearby. I told him he'd have my apology if I had his for insinuating that I was a liar. He claimed that he implied no such thing, and I laughed out loud.

"We're both adults here, and you know you insinuated that I was lying. If you want to apologize, I'll do the same." Everyone around us in the theater at this point was yelling at the manager for him to lay off. It was funny. So he finally apologized, I did the same, and I wished him a delightful, merry Christmas. What a shit eater. My wife had never seen me tell someone off so... colorfully.

But that wasn't all that happened this weekend... Also on Saturday my cellphone rings, and it is my mother. She warns that she does not have good news. Firstly, one of my aunts (her brother's wife) has died because of a brain tumor. Her passing was not entirely unexpected, but unhappy nonetheless... and it was her birthday. My mom then told me that on top of that, police and paramedics responded to a call at another aun't house (this one my dad's sister), when she dialled 911 but didn't speak into the phone. Police found her unconscious, not breathing. Her heart had stopped after a massive heart attack, but the paramedics defibrillated her, and got hear breathing again. She's been in intensive care, and has not regained consciousness at all since then, despite a couple attempts to awaken her. They're going to try again today.

Ugh. At least I don't have to be at work.


Edit:Fixed a couple grammar errors

Congratulations on how you handled the movie incident.

Plus, my sympathy for you and your family on your loss.

When did companies get the right to mandate use of vacation? My company is doing this sort of thing as well. But at least they warn us at the beginning of the year.

I hate it when people in service jobs don't have a clue about customer service. I'd have told him to kiss the brown eye and laughed in the faces of the rent-a-cops.

I think you gave the prick maybe even a little less than he deserved, HP. Well handled.

Condolences on your family illness and passing. Believe me, I understand (as I ponder spending Xmas Eve in a hospital with my son and without the rest of my family).

Yeah, I know, I'm Pagan, but Xmas is so ingrained in our culture, I still celebrate it. In fact, I celebrate if from about the 22nd/23rd right on through New Year!

I am writing a nice, concerned letter to send to the Cinemark corporate offices about this event... we had the forethought to get the manager's full name. I think I can manage to get the chap in some hot water. I'll post the text of the letter when I finish it, and see if anyone has any suggestions to offer before I send it.

Sucks that you have to spend XMas in the hospital 'Spode. I'm glad to hear that your son is improving though.

Tell them you were buying popcorn and when their wallets skip a beat they'll send you free tickets.;)

We'll be there Els, all of this family.:)

The customer service ethic is dead. To me that says a lot about our society in general, especially when abuse of power trickles down to jerkoff theater workers,

holy crapwagon H.P.! congrats on the cinemark prick and condolences with your family. i hope everything works out!

man. a lot of us have had a down month(s), myself included. i've said it once, and i'll say it again. keep your chin up. things will work out........

Ok, here's the letter I wrote and will send to Cinemark corporate tomorrow (kinda long):

Dear sir/madam,

My name is Alan Bellows, and my wife and I have been long-time patrons of Cinemark theaters. Until a recent unpleasant experience with a manager of a local Cinemark theater, we watched movies exclusively at a Cinemark theater about twenty minutes away from our home, at the Provo Towne Center in Provo, UT. My wife and I, along with two other couples, attend about 2-3 movies per month as a group; and as a result of Saturday’s events, we will now take all of our movie-going business to other theater chains.

This letter is not intended to win me free movie vouchers, discount tickets, or anything of the like. All I seek is reparations for unjustified personal insults done to me by a Cinemark management employee. Short of a personal apology from Troy Taylor and his immediate superior, I can assure you that there is nothing which can draw my business back to a Cinemark theater whenever I have a possible alternative.

I would like to relate the incident which occurred at the Cinemark theater last Saturday, the 20th of December 2003:

My wife, our friends, and I had arrived over an hour early to our 7:50pm viewing of Return of the King, but the line was already stretched far down the theater hallway. We got in line together, and visited amongst ourselves for some time. After a while, I left the line to go get some food at the snack bar for my wife and I. When I attempted to enter the hallway to rejoin my wife and friends, I was stopped by a manager, Troy Taylor, and told that I had to stand in a new line, outside of the hallway area.

I explained to Mr. Taylor that my friends were expecting me to return, and he asked “Do you think your friends will save you a seat?” I said that they probably would, but if I would not be allowed to rejoin them, I should at least be allowed to inform them of the situation. The manager refused to allow me to do so. He said “Why don't you just go to the end of the line like I told you to?”

Though I was annoyed at this, I responded to Mr. Taylor with the civil, but direct response “Why don’t you show some good customer service, and let me go tell my friends what is going on?” He directed me again to the end of the line, at which time I told him that my wife was among my friends, waiting for me to return.

At this, he turned to one of the young men taking tickets beside him, and said “Oh, so now the story changes! His story just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?” Not only was his statement very condescending, but in saying it, he also strongly implied that I was lying to him. Until this point, I had been polite, because I am a polite, even-tempered person who simply wished to enjoy a movie in the company of friends. However, questioning one’s integrity by calling them a liar is shameful customer service, and will upset even the most patient of individuals, such as myself.

I asked him, “Excuse me, are you calling me a liar?” He made a snide comment denying the accusation, but the fact that he hadn’t used the word “Liar” didn’t alter the substance of his statement. At this point, I walked past him, and said “Come, let me introduce you to my wife.” I also added an expletive from which I’ll spare you, suffice it to say I was upset at Troy’s insinuation. He followed me into the area where my wife and friends were waiting in line. I introduced him to my wife as we arrived.

“Do you know this man?” he asked my wife. Confused, she answered that I was her husband. “So he’s your husband?” Again, bewildered, she answered an affirmative. I was becoming more agitated, because now he was not only rudely grilling my wife, who was unaware of what was going on, but in asking her repeatedly, he was once again suggesting that I was lying about her relationship with me. He turned to me and said something to the effect of, “You need to learn to behave yourself in public, sir,” and turned to walk away. I responded in turn that he needed to learn not to accuse his customers of lying, and he said “I never called you a liar, and that’s the end of it.”

Having been provoked by the multiple implications that I was a liar, his condescending tone, and the rude treatment of my wife, I said “Kiss my ass” as he walked away. At this point he asked me to leave the theater, and I refused, so he asked if I wanted him to go get the “police.” I told him that he was welcome to do so if he liked. While he was away, the line began moving, and we were seated in the theater.

Mr. Taylor did appear in the theater some ten minutes later, with two mall security guards in tow. He quickly located me, and walked down the row of seats, and stood in front of my wife, who was sitting beside me. He asked loudly “Do you want to apologize, or do you want these officers to escort you from the building?”

I responded with “I will apologize to you, if you apologize for calling me a liar.” He again denied that he had ever done so. I said “Look, we’re both adults here, and we both know that you insinuated that I was a liar. I will apologize for my behavior if you apologize for yours.” Because Troy was being so loud, the exchange had caught the attention of people several rows behind us and in front of us. The other theater patrons were chiming in with comments for Mr. Taylor to “lay off” of me, and to leave me alone. He ignored these suggestions.

He continued to deny the insinuation, but eventually offered an incomplete apology, in an insincere manner, to the effect of “I apologize if you misunderstood what I was saying.” To end the unpleasant exchange, I opted to accept this apology, and apologized in return. He added “If you can’t learn to behave yourself, you won’t be welcome here again.” My wife mentioned to him that this was going to be our last visit to his theater, given the events of the evening. At this point Mr. Taylor departed, and I wished him a good day and merry Christmas. Once he was gone the other theater-goers, people who I did not know and who had no part in the exchange itself, shared their thoughts on the converstaion with me, with comments such as “That guy must have been picked on in high school,” etc. It clearly had been seen by most patrons as an unjustified action against me. To those who had heard the exchange, I apologized for the disruption.

I concede that I behaved inappropriately, and used some rude language when addressing Troy Taylor, but not before he provoked me by being rude, condescending, and questioning my integrity. What should have been a simple compromise, allowing me to go let my friends know that I would rejoin them soon, was turned into a scene in the corridor, another in the theater, and resulted in dozens of patrons being annoyed at Mr. Taylor’s behavior, and your theater’s loss of six individuals’ future business. If Troy and his immediate superior are willing to offer me a sincere, personal apology, then we will be willing to resume our patronage at your theaters in the future. Otherwise, my friends and I are perfectly willing to enjoy our movies at the theaters for competing chains. There are many theaters which are just as close to our home as that in the Provo Towne Center, and some in fact closer.

Whether or not your management decides to grant this apology, you should at least be aware of the shameful customer service exhibited by your theater’s manager, Troy Taylor, and realize that he is incompetent to the point that he has now driven several individuals’ future business away from your entire chain of theaters. Thank you for your attention.

Sincerely,
J. Alan Bellows
(phone number, address, etc)

Too long.:(

It's just under three pages, printed. I wanted to recount the entire event so that I could not be accused of leaving out key details. Hopefully they'll read the whole thing, it's much easier to read in it's printed form.

On another note, my aunt still did not regain consciousness today... the doctors are now guessing that it will be a couple of days before she wakes up at all. Hopefully she WILL wake up.

I think it is complete, and its length shows your dutiful effort to be fair and accurate in your relation of the story. With all due respect worthy of his humanity and stature, I disagree with Bruce that it is overlong.

Please keep us posted on your aunt's status. Prayers going out for her and your family.

Good letter, HP. Even if they do nothing, you have made your position quite clear.

And sometimes, often when you least expect it, things DO change in response to customer complaints.

Hopefully you enjoyed the movie despite all the nonsense which preceded it.

And if you ever do return to Cinemark ... smuggle snacks.

Big purses are a GOOD thing.

"Snacks?" Hah! Wee little "snacks" are for sissies. My brother and I, on two occasions, have smuggled pairs of large pizzas into a movie, just for the sport of it. It's big fun, and you get some interesting reactions from fellow movie-goers when they smell pizza and see the bounty that has been secreted into the theater. Har!

IF the letter gets read passed the first page, it'll be by a bored secretary. Business executives won't read anything longer than 1 page, unless it comes from higher up.

I was thinking the same thing.


Three pages will be helpful when they fire him and he starts a lawsuit. They may not read all of it now but it'll be useful in the long run.

Pizza is a snack.

Good job.

Best I ever smuggled was a liter soda and a foot long hero with all the fix'ens. I do it on principle as I am offended by overpriced movie food.
I've also smuggled in White Castles, Big Macs, chicken parm sandwich, I make it a point to always walk in with some food.

But dammit, I never took in a whole pie! Now don't tell me how you did it, cuz I'm gunna figure it out and do it myself when I go see Return of the King!

If its not too late, I would change all the references to "Troy" to "Mr. Taylor" or "Troy Taylor". Good job. You could also shoot in something like ' I realize that this time of year can be stressful and that this particular evening was very busy. Still, these are no excuses for Mr. Taylor's rude, offensive, and unprofessional behavior." then you precut any whiney excuse Taylor could offer.:)

On several occasions, I have been surprised at the effectiveness of a letter to a company, even a long one. For instance, my wife and I were treated rudely by a sales rep at the jewelry store where we bought her wedding ring... we had come back to ask some questions about the stone, there was some kind of marking which appeared on the outer surface which wouldn't wash off. The store manager there was rude and condescending, depite the fact that my wife and I had come in without complaint, only questions.

So I sent a 2-3 page letter (I forget how long exactly), and within a couple days the regional manager called, arranged to travel to Salt Lake to meet with us, and brought some new diamonds from which we could choose any to trade with my wife's main diamond. She was very apologetic, and very thorough, and gave us a box of some kick-ass cookies (I don't know if "Ben's Cookies" is a chain, but if you have one nearby, they're yummy).

So, one never knows. I have seen companies that go out of their way to help dissatisfied customers, and I have seen companies that don't give a rat's ass. We'll see which way Cinemark leans.
Good suggestions... I'll revise.

OK, I'll just slink off with my tail between my legs as I have been sounding overridden. Give 'em hell.:D

Personally, I hope they poke a scalding hot poker right into that fuckers eyeball...*sigh* A girl can dream...

At any rate, good luck with your letter, and blessings to your family.

:)

HP nice well thought out letter . That may work but if it doesn't there is always this ,

when writing one of those letters, my wife always seems to work, " I would rather shop naked at K-Mart than to patronize your business again" into it. It doesn't really fit into the context of your letter, but maybe as a title?







I'm beginning to think that she just really wants to shop naked at kmart.

take lots of pics dude :D :D

Sorry to hear about your aunts.

Good job on the movie business. Even if you don't get any response (and you probably will), there's something satisfying about just complaining.

I agree with Onyx - I get many letters and the ones that are polite, to the point and (even if they are lengthy) give me an accurate description of what is causing/caused the problem are much easier to read and deal with that the ones that just say "you fucking suck. You denied my claim. You bitch."

I worked in high-level Unix tech support for a while and even (especially?) in big-time IT departments, there were always both decent callers and terrible assholes.

From me, the decent people got all the good support. If they worked with me and not against me, I would work their problem as hard as possible. If they said something like "take your time, I don't need the answer right away," they got a fully-researched pro answer with every possible consideration of their problem faxed to them (this WAS 1992) by the end of the day.

If they snapped at me without knowing who I was, they got the minimum necessary to complete the call. "Your problem is answered on page 56 of the administrative guide. If you need to know exactly which options to use, you should contact our consulting department for their hourly rates."

It was rare to get someone actually swearing at you, but a cow-orker of mine had a good response if they did: just hang up. Management respected the idea that someone would simply not tolerate that level of unprofessional behavior. Well, this WAS 1992.

i think it's a very good letter to send. good job!

still hoping the best for your aunt!

I got some really evil customers on the phone when I worked in a call center 2 years ago as a supervisor...the worst one I got was a guy from Seattle that wished I would have been in the World Trade Center towers on September 11...only 2 weeks after the attack.

I think I still have my response to that around here somewhere...ah here it is.

The cliche "Kill 'em with kindness" sounds so fucking corny...but you know what? It works the majority of the time.

Well, my aunt's situation has worsened considerably... because she hasn't regained consciousness, they did an MRI on her, and discovered that she has some severe brain damage. They originally thought that she had only been without oxygen for 2-3 minutes before the paramedics arrived, but now they're guessing it was longer, resulting in the evident damage.

Her kids signed a Do Not Resuscitate for her yesterday, when the doctors told them that if their mom ever does recover and wake up, which is doubtful, her quality of life will be shit. Her doctors estimate that she's got about a week to live, or without the life-support equipment, considerably less.

Her son has been awesome, spending lengthy hours at the hospital and taking care of everything, but her daughter has been a shithead... the first thing she did when she heard what happened to her mother was to go to her mother's apartment and start rifling through things, putting dibbs on what she wanted for herself. Fucking vulture.

Sounds like my family when my grandmother died...it wound up causing a schism within the family that has only recently begun to subside.

We've had some similar crap here with my Mom on her way out. I may work up a public rant about it here at some point. Usually Petes side of the family goes insane this time of year, this year its mine.

I'm really sorry to hear about this. My mother's family went through something similar when her parents passed. She just stood back and let it all go on, stating that no material object was worth her relationship with her siblings.

I feel pretty much the same way. Stuff is just stuff. People are what's important.

Not that I don't like stuff...

My mother stood back also. Her 2 brothers divided up the estate and determined that the daughter (mom) should get 10% and the 2 sons should divide 90%. 50% to the elder and 40% to the younger. That's the way it had been done in the past. Of course the past was 1900.:(

this is completely innapropriate to say, but:

can you imagine how long it would take to divide up bruce's doodads when he kicks it? I don;t know if you have any kids, brucey, but you'd better start working on the will now. today.

Forget it. When I kick my brother will back up a 40 yard Dumpster (or 2 :) ) and chuck everything. No sense of history, just current resale value.

Hot P - this is my first time here and have to say I agree with your letter and I think you did a PERFECT explanation and detail of what took place that evening. :D

The sad thing about today's society is that we have forgotten what Customer Service is all about. I think that you handled the situation a LOT better than MR. TAYLOR did. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall to this situation.... this would have been better to see than the movie itself! :boxers:

Well, my aunt lasted until Friday night, the funeral is tomorrow. Ugh. I hate funerals.

These recent deaths have my mind lingering on my own mortality. I think I'm going to stipulate in my will that my funeral should be an occasion to celebrate my life, not an unhappy, solemn gathering. I want music, drinking, laughter, lots of story-swapping, photos, my artwork, etc. I don't want a viewing, I think they're morbid. And after they remove anything useful from my body, I want to be buried in the cheapest pine box money can buy. My wife has similar wishes for her own end. We'll just add to the will that if the kids try to buy us expensive caskets and/or have a viewing, they'll forfeit their inheritance.

I knew that there was a steady decline in Customer Service over the past few years, but it seems that with the economy's sharp downturn came a similar downturn in customer service. Businesses just don't seem to give a shit about their customers, which will serve only to worsen their money problems. I have recently had several bad experiences which have required the attention of a manager (though the theater experience was the first negative-angry rather than negative-disappointed), and most managers offer nothing but a short, insincere, responsibility-skirting apology. It's disgraceful. Previously it was a rare thing for me to boycott companies out of principle, but it's proving to be an increasing trend.

Condolences on your aunt's passing.

Too few funerary services focus on the achievements of an individual's life. More often there is much mourning of the loss, but no honoring of the contributions of that individual. Of course, sometimes the deceased is an irascible son of a bitch, and there's really not much good you can come up with ...

The best services I have gone to have taken the tack of honoring the life which was. Those were Jewish and Native American. Catholic Funerals are a total downer.

If it was me, I would send it to:

Theater execs.. RIGHT to the CEO's (online)
the Theater PR person
the BBB
the newspaper
and
Troy.

Let the execs know you're copying it to everyone.

I do that, and it gets IMMEDIATE results.

Last time I wrote some letters in a temper, I got an apology letter from the Virginia governor's office, among other things.

Mormon funerals are unbearable. They're among the most solemn, depressing events known to man. She's getting a Mormon funeral because her kids are Mormon-- she wasn't. I was greatly annoyed when I learned that her daughter planned to put her in a special white dress for the viewing/burial, a dress which is sacred to Mormons and used in temple ceremonies... in the 20+ years I've been close to Norma, not once ever did I see her in a dress... and the fact that it's a sacred garment for a religoin she wasn't even a part of only makes it worse. Luckily my aunt's son put the brakes on that idea, though it resulted in a heated family debate.

My aunt's daughter is psychotic... as I mentioned earlier, as soon as she heard about her mother's heart attack she was at her mother's apartment going through her stuff, but in addition to that, she also took it upon herself to pour my aunt's appreciable variety of alcohols down the sink while she was at it. This was back when as far as anyone knew, my aunt could have recovered fully. Boy, I'll bet she felt righteous ridding the place of that evil alcohol... which my aunt used for cooking, and on a very, very rare occasion, for drinking in small quantities. Evil! You've got to love a psychotic, remorseless, devout Mormon with a personal agenda.

Sorry. I may be harboring some bitterness there.

I witnessed a wonderful funeral. This beautiful woman died at age 72. She had cancer and entered hospice care and died peacefully there. Her daughter and granddaughter helped her along the way. Not overtly religious, the funeral was a celebration of her life, the Mom, the librarian, the free thinker, the traveler, the theater lover. She was well known in local theater circles and the most moving aspect of the gathering was an actor friend reading excerpts from the daughter's letters that the Mom had kept. The daughter had found these in her Mom's stuff and had forgotten she'd sent them long ago. They showed all the love and humor there. It was just beautiful. Flowers and pot luck. Mom collected goofy mugs from her travels, had hundreds of them. Everyone was welcome to take a mug on their way out. I aspire to that funeral.

Yes you are and it's 100% justified. I'd bet a years pay the daughter posthumously baptises (or whatever they call it) her mother into the mormon faith. They encourage that.

I went to a friends funeral last summer. He was dressed in jeans, a journey tee shirt and Grateful Dead suspenders. In the casket were some snap-on wrenches, a yo-yo, a picture of his '55 Chevy, selected CD's and other "stuff" that defined his life. I'll bet there were some joints in his pocket.;)

Damn Bruce, you're good. I just discussed that very thing with my cousin (it's uncreatively called "baptism for the dead"), and he and I are estimating about a month before the daughter is making arrangements for that very thing. It would not come as a shock at all if I learned that she had already started the process.

Lots of dead people are victims of this unauthorized baptism-by-proxy. Not only that, but Mormons wear sacred, magical underwear. I'm a little embarrased that I used to sort of be one (though I was very young).

God bless the athiests!

Mormon Garments
 

just in case you were wondering ...

There are masonic symbols of the square and the compass embroidered in various places on the "sacred chaps" or "jesus drawers" as they are apparently also known.

The two piece version is fairly new. The traditional garment has a step-in neckline, kind of like a leotard. There are also maternity and nursing versions available for the ladies.

the mormon faith
 

Alan,
You are the second Mormon (ex mormon)I've ever met. The other one was at least as bitter as you seem to be. From what he told me, there is WAY too much organized prayer happening, and I don't remember what else. We did a little Amish bashing a while ago....care to take the hose to the Mormons? Or to defend them? I'm interested.

Re: Mormon baptisms of the dead
 

Ehh, let 'em have their fun.

That's like buying a ticket for a train that's already left the station.

Re: Mormon Garments
 

I'll probably regret opening up a religion discussion [further], but...

what the heck do the masons have to do with the mormons?

Wait a minute. I thought you were an ex-english. what gives? are there english mormons? or did you just dally in it? mormon by marriage? married to the mormon. was that a movie? were you captured and forced to convert, then later rescued by a gang of good-guy Vigilantes? Or was that an episode of the A-team?

oh, and is Mormonic a word?

There was quite a bit of furor over the LDS baptism of the dead for holocaust victims.

Re: Re: Mormon Garments
 

It's a secret society. They aren't allowed to tell.

i just gotta say (you americans!) that the mormon underwear fabric looks kinda freaky.

Re: Mormon Garments
 

So...is this then 'Mormon Porn'?