say what you're thinking
 

I wish I always did, sometimes. Not when i'm thinking something rude, or mean, but when someone pisses me off at the grocery store, or i witness some minor injustice at work. I wish I had those kind of balls. not many people do. I'm not shy, I'm just saying i need to make it a point to confront rude people when they are being asshats. here's an example:

My wife and i went xmas shopping, and while looking thru some prints at an art store, she had one of the above mentioned occurances, and was irked out enough from shopping that she lost her normal inhibition towards doing this:

So, as I said, we're looking at prints. Its those poster sized plastic fold over racks.....like a giant book. well, as you know it is only possible for 1 person to look through those at a time. So, naturally, this numbnuts lady wanders over and starts prying up the prints on the other end of the stack. So, my wife says in a room silencing volume and tone," why don't you wait your turn, you LOSER!" no shit

dead silence. the woman went white and faded into the background. awesome.

then later that same day, as we're leaving the mall, some guy is looking at her as we walk past each other in the parking lot. "What, am I wearing something of yours?!"

i was impressed. normally, she won't say anything, until we're alone, and then she erupts like a volcano, but we both wish we would. Can any of you HONESTLY say that you practice this philosophy?

If she keeps that up you'll be involved soon. Material witness at least.;)

she's never got me into a fight. not even the time she pushed that drunk fucker down the steps of the 700 level in the vet at the cowboys game.

I never really blow up at people. When someone acts an ass, I just stand up really straight and bend my neck down so I look them as close as I can to eye level. The average height of southwestern Pennsylvanians is less than me, so this is a kind of unconscious "I'm bigger than you, asshole." intimidation technique.

This done, I say to them in a normal tone, "Whasamatta wityou?". Naturally, this is done in my New York accent. A puzzled look, elbows bent 90 degrees, hands pointing towards the person I'm talking to (so they KNOW I'm talking to them) just complete the deal.

Usually, my height and the accent are enough to freak anyone out such that they scurry away. Amplifications of the two have yet to result in failure in even the toughest of scenarios. Living among people that never dwelled 20 miles beyond where they were born has its advantages.

Re: say what you're thinking
 

No, but this a great thread topic.

After a minute of thinking, I have an example of when I did though. The results were less than positive but not disasterous.

My dad and I were riding the train back from Cali a couple of years ago. I had a situation with some obvious non-thinker and spoke my peace to the crowd.

We were in the Chicago Amtrak hub and were being held up because of a big snowstorm. There was a train to take us the rest of the way east but it was late. We ended up sitting in the lobby for about 10 hours.

During that time the whole crowd of passengers watched as this one odd looking and acting man would ocassionally ask what time it was or specifics about the status of the train arrival. He wasn't crazy but he wasn't normal either. He was not offensive but was not pleasant in any way either.

After many hours the train had arrived and the passengers were lining up to board. I was at about the middle of the line. We were all tired from the previous leg of the trip and from laying on the floor since we outnumbered the chairs.

I saw this dumbass coming up the line from the very end. I knew exactly what he was going to do, and stepped out of line directly in front of him. At the same time I tapped another of the larger passengers and directed him to stand between me and the wall. The guy I tapped just looked at me as if to say "what are you doing"? and didn't move. Dumbass went right around me.

I shook my head yes and said sarcastically in an audible volume "thats right, I dont have to wait in line, and I dont give a GOD DAMN if all of you people have waited as long as I have, I can do whatever I want". At the same time I looked right into the soul of the other passengers attempting to stare me down. You know, that look that says "go right ahead and look at me, I'm right on this one and you know it".

One guy said something like "give it up buddy" to which I jokingly said to my dad "hey come on, lets go to the head of the line, these people arent going to do anything about it" and continued to stare directly into his pupils. He knew I was right and eventually looked away. We both stood in the same position in line as everyone avoided eye contact until we boarded the train.

Was the guy that cut in line a retard? Hell no, he knew that everyone would just bend over and let him through, because this was a case of courtesy, not law. I suspect this guy has a lot of people trained

This, by the way might very well have not happened if there was someone else with balls in line. Dumbass would have done one of three things; tried to push his way through us, cried about how we were blocking his path, or just turned around and waited like the rest of us.

If he would have made contact in any hostile way, I would have pounded his ass. People nowdays dont get their asses kicked enough. It corrects bad behavior in the future. The majority of the time it isn't required, just the commitment to doing so if necessary, is enough.

But these days, you cannot count on the help of any store or company employees to help keep order, it's the job of the other customers because the company doesnt want to open themselves to legal hassles.

The penalty to us all is that people believe they can do whatever the fuck they want, with no resistance. This is a major reason that I dont go out to malls and such any more.

Chewy: would you have stood between me and the wall in this case? Whats your opinion, was I wrong for attempting to cut this guy off from cutting us off?

I think you're all fucked in the head. That's what I think.

slang, you should have kicked that POS in the nuts.

There you have it, one of our Texas members sounding off.

thanks NBN.

Chewy, remember when you're intimidating that short person that they're a left jab/right cross away from your crotch.

NBN, Texas huh. You have anything to do with that JFK thing?:D

Free advice- Before you confront some stranger, do a quick mental checklist of possible reactions and EXACTLY how far you are willing to go to make your point.:shotgun:

exactly


i guess i don't really worry about the possible ramifications...the physical violence, as it is rare that i'm not the biggest person nearby. and i wasn't really talking about getting into fights, just letting someone know that they're being rude in a public fashion.....i've had people cut in line, and i didn't say anything.....i stood by and watched this old lady berate a young cashier because she used mac instead of credit.....i could have said something... why not? SHE wasn't gonna do anything to me......i'm too friggin polite. I will get better at this!

.....now, when im in my car.......

why is that so much different?....you will NOT cut in line in front of my car, i dont care if you're a carload of nuns. screw you, back of the line.

We totally wimpy non-violent sorts who have gotten our ass kicked in the middle of a busy street for no good reason and do not have the presense of mind to take down a simple license plate number, disagree with you.

door locks and an escape route.

Good thread, Jimbo.

I think there are times when you just have to lash out at people to get your point across...it just depends on the situation.

There are times when I would love to (and have on the rare occasion) lashed out at someone here. The last time I really did it here (to Radar), he made himself look so retarded in the end that it could be considered successful. But I don't like being that way...it's not really my style. And in the end...this is just the fucking internet. Is it REALLY worth it to get all jacked up over someone that may be thousands of miles away and may be a pussy in real life, anyway?

I find that when I use the high road here against a blowhard, they seem to either shut up, chill out, or say something else that makes them look stupid. When I use the high road against a more rational individual, it seems to earn respect. And that's a good thing, because someone that uses the high road against my arguments tends to earn my respect.

In person, I have been known to express myself in not-so-subtle ways...generally this only happens if I've already tried to be nice, or if I consider the infraction against me serious.

For example, let's say I'm on I-95...and someone decides they want to change lanes, but decides not to look and see that I'm essentially right next to them--and they're trying to get into my lane. I consider this a violation of basic driving 101, so I have no problem in yelling something like, "You useless piece of shit! Why don't you die already?!"

Or, I'm at the grocery store or on a SEPTA train...and I just want to get around someone who could easily move out of my way, but refuses to do so. If I have to say "Excuse me" more than twice, you've become a problem. So, I'll either push your ass out of the way or I'll make a nice comment when I finally get by, like "Goddamn, these people around here are retarded" or "Fucking moron" or "There must a serious case of the stupids around here today."

I do think there are some who need an ass-whipping, but I'll let those with more of a temper handle that. I ain't whipping anyone's ass unless they make the first move. And with my physical presence, no one has tried to do that to me in years.

I think it's healthy to speak your mind and not let people walk on you. i am a waitress, so, unfortunately, I have to deal with a lot of idiots, and I can never defend myself, I just have to smile and say "suuure" or walk away before I can longer help myself...and I think that THIS is unhealthy..I feel so anxious most of the time, and resentful towards people in general, and I wasn't like this before...so go ahead, if you can! Speak your mind!

goddamn, toad. if it weren't for bad luck , you would have ANY.

Again, the idea behind this thread was not about fighting.....just the gut check needed to call 'em like you see 'em.

Is there a story to be told here?

The possibility of fighting by doing so increases, unfortunately.

Well after he beats you to a bloody pulp or worse, the bystanders will surely give him a withering glance. Yeah, that'll learn him.:rolleyes:

It's a no win situation, yes. That's why I dont come out of my cave.

]
so, you'll let people walk on you before you stand up to them?

i'm surprised at you, bruce. guess i don't really know you that well yet. or are you just trying to caution people?

for the minor rudenesses i'm taliking about, i wouldnt think people would want to fight over it. if the other person resists, then you make your decision about letting it go or taking a stand.

The last time I was in a fight I was about.... 12 I think? Not a large concern of mine. I don't think a saleperson that I stand up to is going to take a swing at me.
Do you think that's a valid concern really? That some seemingly normal, albeit rude person is going to smack the shit out of you if you chastise them? I don't know.... I don't see it happening.... (obvious 'hot' scenarios excluded; sporting events, pre christmas sales, certain bars, the dmv/unemployment line etc...)

There's a lot of variables there. Also depends on your ability to remain calm, and at the same time, push them over the edge.

I only become bold, rude, and coldly matter-of-fact when I'm so completely pissed off that I've been pushed over the edge. But that scenario is very rare, as I usually have endless patience with people.

The interesting thing is, the things that most people get pissed off about almost never cause me to lose my patience.

The things that push me over the edge are usually seemingly trivial things that no one else understands. To me, they've committed a unforgivable gigantic moral infraction. To them, they've just done something inanely trivial and I just blew up on them. So, on the rare occasions that I do lose my temper, no one ever understands why.

I usually don't say anything, either, because like our dear juju, I have a sea of patience with people most of the time. Occasionally I'll tell someone "You must be lost, the end of the line is back there," but it rarely goes beyond that.

One humorous exceptions is when I was biking on a paved bike trail with my father last year. The trail winds through one of the canyons here, and we were speeding down one of the downhill slopes. I was a good ways ahead of my pop when the dude ahead of me decided to stop suddenly. I didn't have much warning, but I had enough time to just go around him in the oncoming traffic lane, which was empty. That is, untl the dumbass who had stopped in the middle of the trail turned his bike without looking, blocking both lanes about ten feet in front of me.

I was on my brand new bike, which had really good brakes. Better than I was used to. With nowhere to go now, I pulled all the brakes, and the bike stopped, tipping forward. But due to some principle called "inertia," my body did not stop along with the bike. I somehow stepped over the handlebars, my feet hit the ground, and I clobbered the guy with my shoulder at full speed. A second later, my now tumbling bike joined us, followed by my dad, who was far enough behind that he had time to stop safely.

He arrived just in time for me to hear me unleash a string of profanities on the guy (who was, incidentally, a huge SOB who had hardly been fazed by my impact), and I told him that he might try looking over his expletive shoulder before stopping in the middle of the expletivie bike trail, stupid expletive.

My dad's eyes got pretty big, he's not used to hearing me curse so eloquently. But the other guy just mumbled an apology and went on his way.

...oh, I'll also tell people to shut up in movie theaters if they talk too much. That's one thing I haven't got much patience for.

This is a great thread. In most cases, I don't say exactly what's on my mind. It depends. I *may* edit what I'm REALLY thinking or I may change the tone.

Just recently, I was at the post office trying to send a package out. I had some of my belongings on a counter, and just as I was about to move them out of the way, a customer comes up from my right side with her packages and just puts them up on the same counter...no "excuse me" or "sorry, is this yours?" or anything. I guess my peeve was that she just came over like she owned the place. I *wanted* to say (in my blackest of black voices), "Um, ex-ca-uuuuuse you? You could have AT LEAST waited until I moved my stuff!!" With plenty of hands-on-hip, neck twisting, finger snaping action. :D

However, it was one of those things where I was so put-off by her actions, that I just moved my stuff out of her way (with lots of huff, so that she would know that she pissed me off), and went on about my business. Funny thing: she didn't even look in my general direction. Had she done so, she would have caught my look of death. :angry:

So....you kicked her ass, right?

Ooooo, if only!!! ;)

I would have loved to have had her seen my look of death...and then actually died from it. *evil grin*

Ah to have that kind of power...muhahahaha!

Oh, I'm a pussy. I run away screaming and crying.:haha:
No, really I'm trying to caution people to think before start because you might be pushing someone like me. You can lead me most anywhere but if you push it doesn't matter how trivial the reason. I'll be all over you before you can think about whether you want to pursue it or not. You'll have no choice.
Jinx makes an excellent point of "hot" scenerios. I think any place people "have" rather than "want" to be, like DMV are always "hot". So are the tostesterone pumps like sports/wrestling/monster trucks.
I won't even start on guns or drunks.:)

Legal vs illegal gun carry.

Legal permit holders will more than likely evade. I know I would, if I'm going before the judge I want the scenario to be like this;

Yes yer honor, I walked briskly away from the situation, trying desperately to blend into the background but DeadGuy followed me after the verbal exchange. In desperation and after running 7 miles away from the scene with Deadguy in pursuit, he tackled me. In that condition it was a real possibility I might die from a heart attack and although there were no weapons visible, I felt the persistence of DeadGuy's chase was an indicator of a real threat to my life.

So I gave him 2 new holes (an inny and and outty).

illegal gun carry? "You talkin' to me bitch?" (ching-ching-pow)

Hey maybe all those saps in Chicago were carrying and trying to remain passive? Whups, never mind.

Isn't it hard to shoot someone after they tackle you?

Pends on where yer gun is. If someone is chasing me, it'd be in my hand.

please don't let this turn into a gun control debate thread.

where is thread hijackman when you need him?

Ta Daa

What timing. I was in the neighborhood and heard your plea for assistence.

So......is there any other instances where your wife told someone to screw off.....and they did?

well, THM, there WAS this one time
~~~~~dreamy music fades in~~~~~

we're on an airplane. from Ca to Pa.....5.5 hours in the plane. i had a woman who was a persistent seat rocker in front of me, and my wife wound up boiling over and pounding the back of her seat just as this lady was rocking back...BANG!... the seat was perfectly still for the remainder of the ride.


~~~~~dreamy music fades out~~~~~~

thanks threadhijackman, you've saved the day.

Golly, it's a good thing she didn't have a GUN.:p

It was an accident. I was miming what I would like to do, just as she decided to throw herself back. It did settle her ass down though.

Bruce no G talk. We cant have ThreadHiJackMan here all the time.
He's busy. :D

darn you, bruce.

I'm going to go get my magnet if you don't get back in line. i mean it, i'll do it.

Well, I guess I dont know you Bruce. I'm sure we've all been a pain in the ass to the public at large at one time or another, but I wouldnt expect someone like you (meaning someone with communication skills and manners) to be blatantly disrespectful to a group of strangers.

At the very least, I'd expect you would be somewhat receptive to a polite "say what your thinking".

If I said what I was thinking, most of the time, I wouldn't get my ass kicked, I'd just get weird looks. Most of the time my mind is far from what's actually going on. But I never miss a chance to tell someone that he or she is an asshat.

Along the lines of the original topic of this post: Has anyone ever been involved in a situation where the rude offender is someone actively looking for trouble? I'll give an example.

A friend of mine and her boyfriend were in a park in downtown Boston during new years eve. There were tons of people around but they were standing by the edge of a pond by themselves. A group of teenagers comes up behind them and one asks my friend and her boyfriend what there name's are. The kid seemed nice so they started talking but he suddenly asked them "So how about you give me your money?". He then put his hand in his pockets and pulled out part of a black object (it was dark out and they didn't know if it was a gun). My friend started crying and her boyfriend stood there frozen. The kid then just started laughing and pulled out the black object. It was a cell phone. He then said "That was fun, your both cool". He shoke my friend's boyfriends hand (he got a lot of shit later about that) and left.

What inspires people to activley seek out trouble with others minding their own business?

Hahahaha. Have him try that in Virginia. Mr. Glock 21 has a suitable response.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Undertoad
We ......... disagree with you.
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i'd have to say that i'm interested in this story as well, if you don't mind sharing, that is. is there an archive link for it? i have an interest in this kind of stuff. in the martial arts class i'm in we share stories of how people try and confront and force us into violence.

My guess is it's a power thing. They feel like they are exerting a controlling power over someone by scaring them, and they get a rush on that power. At the same time, it makes them appear stronger in front of their friends to treat someone that way wihout consequence... an "Alpha Male" thing.

Plus, they're shitheads.

If somebody ever did that to me, the guy would be wearing his own ass as a hat as soon as I saw the "weapon" was harmless. Even if his friends ganged up on me and kicked my ass when I was done, at least I would have the satisfaction of knowing I didn't let some guy make my woman cry without paying the consequences. But that's just me.

Hearing shit like that makes me want to get off my butt and get my concealed carry permit... I already have a highly carryable Glock 19. Make the kid piss his pants when he sees a real gun show up, and he probably wouldn't pull that stunt again.

(For the record, I know that waving a gun around is the solution to very, very few encounters).

I never wrote it out or anything. What basically happened was that I was in a miniscule fender-bender, tried to make really nice, and was cold-cocked while I wasn't looking.

Seriously, I would love for someone to try that shit on me. At the very least, he would have a very seriou pistol whipping. That's assuming I didn't fucking shoot him before I found out it was a cell phone.

Pretending to have any sort of weapon when you do not is the 2nd dumbest thing you can do.

The number 1 dumbest thing you can do is pull out a real weapon while not intending to use it.

If you pull out a fake gun you better expect the other guy to pull out a real one and blow your brains all over the side walk.

If you pull out a real gun, you better be ready to blow the other guys brains all over the sidewalk cause he might call chicken on you and get his weapon of choice from his pocket.

Don't "threaten" people whith weapons. It doesn't work in cases where the other person is armed and you're never sure if they are.


And NEVER ever EVER mess with some guy who's with his GF. He'll do the stupidest shit to show how tough he is to his GF.

I think youz guyz are getting a little deep. I was thinking more along the lines of MINOR infractions. IE someone butting in line at the wawa, or shouting at their kid in the mall. capice? I'm not tryin to disarm a gunman, or lay into someone at the scene of an accident, just tryin to tell people when they're being rude.

when could you have said or done something and you did or didn't....
cmon, dave, i know you have a few?!

I pretty much always say what I think.

I'll be honest though, I don't have to get in to verbal altercations very frequently. I'm about 6'2", and there's roughly 230lbs of muscle on this frame (and my fair share of padding, score!). I have long hair and just enough facial hair to make people think "That isn't a nice person." People don't generally act like fuckfaces around me in real life, so I generally don't have to be a fuckface back.

I do stand up for myself, though. This is usually most common in stores, where something rings up higher than the advertised price and I have to drag them, kicking and screaming, into not overcharging me. "No, it say $2.49!" "No. It says <b>right here</b> 'TWO FOR FOUR DOLLARS'."

I had a thing at freaking Kinkos a while back that I might have written on here about. That was un fucking real.

There have been a number of occasions when people have shot their mouths off around me, and then I step into the picture and it's kind of an "Oh. Yeah, I'll just go back to, you know, sitting. Yeah. Please leave me alone."

If someone is staring, I will say "Do you wanna take a picture?" I am pretty defensive of my sister, and if anyone gives her any shit, I will jump down their fucking throats and beat the living shit out of them and then beat the living shit out of their dead body.

Ask Undertoad, wolf, slang, sycamore what impression they got. Don't ask Bruce, 'cause he'll just say I'm a young whippersnapper. :P But it's probably best left to other people to describe. I dunno.

My impression was that any look of toughness built in to the dude (as is built in to most large-structured folks), is reduced in person by his genuine and pleasant demeanor. My considered opinion is that dave is not an asshole. I would even put that in writing and sign it.

but is he an assHAT? THAT is the question.

I spent the whole dinner sitting next to him. You will notice that he survived the experience. A genuine asshat would not (although perhaps my tolerance is artificially high because of what I do for a living).

And he was very gracious when I fucked up his GBA. (what I actually did was turn the thing off ... didn't know it had a sleep mode if you just closed the cover, and lost his game save)

So no, Dave is not an asshat.

(I will, though, confess to a desire I had to fight back all night to play with his hair. The man has GREAT hair.)

A friend was driveing to work one morning , some dude cut him off , he got up beside said dude and fliped him off , a short chase ensued , they turn off on to a side street , my friend desides this is enough and slams on his brakes and jumps out , asshole does the same , pulls a 9mm and takes a random shot in my friends general direction putting a hole in his new van , my friend is so PISSED he throws his coffie cup at dude dinging him on the forhead saying " COME ON ASSHOLE LETS GO !!!" , asshole freaks , jumps in his car and leaves , my friend gets his licence # and calls the cops . The cops track dude down quivering and shakeing at his house , 5 cops jump him and take his gun away .
The cops tell my friend this ain't the first time asshole has done this but it WILL be the last !!!

After getting fired upon, I believe my reaction would have been a little more in line with, "wet my pants, jump back in my vehicle and drive away at a very high speed."

Or something very close to that. :D

I like to get mad at people who are blatantly rude. I was in the grocery store the other day getting some dinner and this chick in line in front of me was on her cell phone. She wasn't loud or obnoxious, but when it came her time to check out, not once did she cease her conversation on the phone and speak with the lady at the register. It really pissed me off. But instead of saying something to the phone girl, after she left I commented to the register lady on how rude that was and she concurred, but conceeded that there was nothing she could have done about it, it was her duty to ring her up, rude or not.
Before I got a real job, I worked at a pizza place. It was a small place called Mellow Mushroom which was rather easy going place. Whenever I worked the counter, I refused to help people who didn't get off their phone. I'd simply walk away, or pick up a phone order, or simply stare at them. I guess it's a stupid pet peeve of mine.
Come on man, have some decency and respect for your fellow man, hang that damn thing up.


GBA

DNK

I mostly agree. I would add to this though, making it "The number 1 dumbest thing you can do is pull out a real weapon while not intending to use it if it becomes necessary." Granted, most of the time one might make the decision to pull the gun, it is IMMEDIATELY necessary, and you pull the trigger. Is it ever appropriate to unholster the gun and not pull the trigger? I think on the rare occasion, yes. If you are such a position to disarm the offender without harming yourself or bystanders, using the gun as a blunt instrument unless it has the need to become more, I say do it.

But I guess one could argue that even though the gun isn't fired in such a scenario, using it as a blunt instrument is still "using" the weapon, in which case I agree with FNF completely on this.

I had a similar experience at a drive-up window the other day... the guy in the car just in front of me was on the cellphone. We'd been waiting in a long line, and as the guy pulled up to the order box, and the employee asks for his order, the guy says "just a minute" and rolls up his window. I was instantly pissed, but I didn't do anything until I'd sat there waiting about two full minutes, and he was still chatting. Finally I honked at him and revved the engine, at which time he apparently asked the other party to hold on, and he ordered.

Now I wish I'd done more, and sooner, but at the time I was already in a bad mood, and didn't want to blow it out of proportion... so I did the calm-blue-ocean thing before reacting. But I think immediately leaning on the horn so he couldn't talk at all would have been more appropriate.

But the minor infractions...The daily stuff...

I'm a small woman, not physically intimidating. If I'm in a social situation with minor rudeness- like the chick butting in line at the poster store, I tend to go with a smile/laugh and (hopefully) assertive "I'm almost done, moving as fast as I can, then you can see the whole rack" To me its not worth getting hot about, but I will let someone know if they are being rude. And Ive had them appologise to me. When someone is being an asshole my ultimate goal is for them to see, and on some level comprehend what an asshole they are being. And feel bad. I want them to feel bad. Sometimes it works, I'd say usually it works. Sometimes not. Most of the time the person is just operating in their own universe. Verbally clubbing them over the head, or "out ruding" them, puts them on defensive and generally adds to their offensiveness. I want to shake them awake calmly and remind them that the rest of us are out here.

That being the goal, I very seldom think of the best thing to say or the best thing to do until 30-60 minutes after an encounter. I love to see an articulate person defuse an asshole on the spot- particularly if they use humor.

yeah, ain't it the way?

that's what i wanna be when i grow up: an articulate asshat that uses humor to defuse persons on the spot. er, i mean...a person that articulates asshats spots on their person using humor.......no, i wanna defuse asshats on the spot using humor......and pointed sticks, and maybe a bit of brandy. ok, no brandy, but definitely pointed sticks.