office pranks
 

i need some fresh material

last good one i saw:

i work in a jeep dealership and two of the salesmen are always fucking with each other. Mike saves up his hole puncher confetti for like 3 months, and fills up Reed's umbrella one day.....doesn't the friggin owner grab it on his way out the door with some little advertising hottie? i almost swallowed my tongue! they were both covered with it! fortunately, the girl had a really good sense of humor about it, and no one got fired!

try this

I saw this on one of those chain e-mails: Replace the coffee in the coffee maker with decaf. Wait a week, then put regular back in.

Walk up to PC when the victim is away.
Take screen shot of thier working desktop, windows up etc...
Save screenshot as wall paper. Minimize all real windows. Hide task bar.

Enjoy.

Remember to move their task bar to some place where it wasn't (by dragging it there) and, if you really want it to work, adjust their monitor settings such that said edge is slightly off screen. That way, the auto-hide bar doesn't give it away.

I LIKE IT!

WHAT ABOUT THE DESKTOP ICONS?

That's the problem I ran across when I first did this back in 1998. So at the time, I wrote a little solution..

Basically, when run, the program took a screenshot of the workspace, opened the screenshot in a window as big as the screen and centered it, and used the Windows function to completely hide the task bar such that the Start menu could not be brought up at all. I might still have the app around here somewhere, but I would have to dig pretty deep and through many computers to find it.

dave, not many of my guys have computers, but the afforementioned visine victim does, so it might be worth it....but i think if i just do a screen shot of his desktop, and leave a program oversized on the screen, it will have the desired effect at least temporarily.....thanks! don't bother digging...

jim

If the victim has Windows XP, simply right click on the desktop, go to "Arrange Icons by" and then uncheck "Show Desktop Icons"

On all other OSes do this:


To get rid of the icons:

Go to their desktop.

Select all the icons
Move them into a corner of the screen.
Create a new file.
Move the new file into the opposite corner of the screen.
Select all the files.
Now move the lone file into the opposite corner (accross the screen) - This will move all the other icons OFF the visible area.

Delete the lone file you created and used to drag the files off the screen. (It should be the only visible file)

Things to make sure are off:

Auto arrange.
Allign to grid.

If those are on, the icons will not move off the screen.

To bring back the icons, simply turn one of these settings back on.


BTW: Keep in mind that there is a 99.9% probability that after much cursing the PC will get rebooted and the victim will lose unsaved work. Upon realizing that the PC hadn't actually crashed the said victim might hold you responsible for hours of lost work....so be nice and save all the opened stuff first.

A MUCH nastier thing to do would be to mess with his hosts file.

If he's got a favourite website that he seems to visit daily (Like maybe http://grouphug.us or www.cnn.com or whatever), you can make his browser go somewhere else every time he tries to visit one of those sites...like maybe something along the lines of The Worlds Most Annoying Webpage ( http://www.mostannoyingwebpage.com) or better yet tubgirl.com or goatse.cx...(Not linked for a reason)
To do this you need to resovle the IPs of these addresses and then enter them at the bottom of the hosts file in the format of:

IP Hostname

as in
123.123.123.123 www.cnn.com

All traffic to www.cnn.com will go to 123.123.123.123, where 123.... is whatever you want it to be.

The benifit of this is that the boss will probably have NO idea how to fix this and there is a good chance that the IT staff will also be totaly clueless. Better yet, if it's a site that he has no business going to at work in the first place, chances are that he won't tell anyone and just be misserable.

Harmless phone related pranks:

1) Get the pager number of the victim and enter the phone number of the closest phone he might answer the page with.

2) Tape the hookswitch down with clear tape then watch the victim's face when the phone keeps ringing as he says "hello"

And dont tell me I'm the only one that's ever used these.

here's a good answering machine prank:

get your ans mach ready to record

using the speaker phone if available, if not get ready to hold the ear piece next to the mic

call a number that requires that you dial a "1" first, but don't dial the 1. start recording, making sure to capture the tone"we're sorry, you must first dial a 1 when dialing that number. please hang up and try your number again"

this is your machine message

when someone calls, they will be told to dial a 1

then, they'll call with the 1 and get " we're sorry, it is not neccessary to dial a 1 when calling that number...please hang up and dial again"

i did this about a year ago, and my sister in law spent 30 minutes on the phone with the phone company, and was about to drive to my house when she remembered my cell #......

she's still pissed about it

Uh. You lost me. How does this work?

He gets a page, picks up a phone, calls number, and then picks up <b>that</b> phone? You worded it like only one phone was involved, and I just don't see how that's possible, since he would get a busy signal... so it sounds like you must mean what I wrote above, but... uh???

i reached for my hand but it was already there
-4 non blondes

To annoy those with pagers ...

Keep the phone numbers for Homosexuals Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous handy.

Slang's #1 and #2 are separate pranks, D.

Uh. Yeah. Huh huh. I know. Huh huh, huh huh huh huh huh huh.

we once had a gay suicide intervention team "come to the rescue" of a cook where i used to work.

he was a little perturbed, as he was neither gay nor suicidal

Did you hire them from the same local agency that provides Gorillagrams and Strip-O-Grams or was there really such a crisis team in your area?

I don't know, the manager called them.....i just saw the results

this is more of a good natured one but....we had this chief on the ship who was never without this stupid little coffee mug...until one day he left it on his desk while he went to the potty....said mug was stolen and then photographed with a polaroid in...uh, compromising situations...said pictures were left on his desk, in his rack, slipped into his locker. it was alot of fun!:D

Take a couple of mustard and ketchup packets from your local scarf and run, and then carefully apply to the bottom of a co-worker's desk drawer pull.

You can't beat the classics.

Quick and Dirty
 

Got to control panel and switch the left and right mouse buttons. You can also fiddle with mouse tracking speed if you want to be even dirtier.

Ah! No! That's wrong!:eek:
Put tape on the bottom of the mouse, so that the ball doesn't move. If it's optical, tape a small square of paper over the sensor.

Switch off the power strip under their desk that their PC is plugged into. Plug 130dB horn into the power strip and hide the horn behind the wastecan.

The bump on their head lasts for days...

Years ago....Sort of fixed up a help-desk supervisor. While he was out I recorded his phone ring-tone (desk phone), added a few seconds og no sound and associated the wav file with a few very different windows events.

It took him a few minutes to figure out the source - the delay helped.

I just remembered this little office prank. It isn't new but I thought it was funny in this case.

Once upon a time I worked with a man we called stinky. He was not only stinky but he'd corner you in your cube and ramble on and on and on about something we had no intertest in. On top of that, he was the bitterest old bastard I knew. Everything done or said boiled down to a personal attack on him.

At first, I felt bad for this guy so I wouldnt just totally blow him off and leave midsentance. It wasnt long though that he was kinda getting on everyone's nerves.

It was a new guy that came up with this "easy out" technique. Stinky had me cornered, blabbing on and on, when my phone rang.

ring-ring

slang: Engineering, can I help you?
co-worker: Actually, I'm calling to help YOU. I see he's right there.
slang: Yes, I'll be right out.

Then I'd blast out of the cube like there was something to attend to, or grab some drawings until Stinky left.

That in itself is not anything new. It's how far we took that concept that was funny. As Stinky's resistance to the "rescue calls" increased, so did the duration and timing of the calls. They became orchestrated and we each took turns "running the phones".

The time that we each were most vulnerable to a stink diatribe was coming back from lunch. Everyone else in the department was aware of how annoying the situation had become so I went to a couple of people whos desks were located on the route back from lunch. I asked them if it would be ok to use their phone as I was coming back from lunch and explained what I wanted to do. They all agreed.

As we walked back from lunch, one of us would split from the group as the others passed the lobby. This was our timing reference. At this time one of us would go to four desks in another department and pull the phone off the hook and dial one of our extensions and move on to the next phone, dial the next extension, etc. After all our phones were dialed and ringing, the "phone runner" would head back to the cube.

The result was that all 4 of our phones were ringing just as we walked into the cube. If Stinky was there, we'd make like we were talking to someone on the phone. If he wasnt there, we'd just hang up and go back to work. This worked like a charm and Stinky left us alone right after lunch.

If he wandered over some other time, it wasn't long before someone fired off a "rescue call". This got to be so effective and normal we quit thinking it was funny and just accepted it as what was required to keep Stinky away. It wasnt until he came over to my desk one day that I thought it was funny again. He said

Stinky: Now I know (ring-ring....ring-ring) your phone is going to ring, so I need to ask you a question quickly....
slang: Can ya hold on for a minute? My phone's ringing.
Stinky: (starts walking away) yes, people seem to get calls precisely when I walk over to them....coincidence, I'm sure. People used to get calls after I was talking to them for a few minutes but now, just by chance, they consistently get calls when I start talking.

blue screen of death screen saver

I have not tested it......yet

Guy at work was the only one in when the new office chairs arrived. The chairs were all the same (cloth) except for one nice pleather chair which he, of course took for himself.
A little Armor all while he was out to lunch and I am having fun watching him slip-slide away.

I works indeed. Just hit the Esc key to exit it.

I downloaded it onto a memory stick, unzipped it onto the same stick, and then right click, install and it works as described.

now, to put it on a certain someone's computer....

When birthday cards come around, I sometimes sign a note from the recipient to themself.

For example:

Margie,

You are so totally awesome and I hope you have the best birthday ever because you deserve it soooooooo much.

Love,

Margie

Then if anyone signing it bothers to read it they'll be like WTF? If Margie reads it she'll be like WTF.

I don't think anyone ever really reads those things.

that's funny. :)

I think I'll page myself to my office now.

ooohh, a rich vein of evil here. I'm only at the level of ctrl + alt + down arrow to make their monitor picture invert. (works with XP, dunno about anything else).

If they leave their comp unlocked: take a screenshot of just their desktop. save that and make it their background, then delete all of their actually icons and hide the start bar. They'll think its froze, but reboot won't fix a thing...

kinda like the blue screen of death thing, just slightly modified.

Zen- ctrl-alt-up/down works for win2000 also...not sure who the hell uses it anymore besides my company.

mortie, read posts 4- 9

oh, I thought I'd already read the whole thread...must've skipped the first page by accident

I've occasionally received birthday cards that didn't have my name on them. People had signed them with "Happy Birthday, I hope it's a good one, Margie," etc. but without ever saying who they were to. I like to re-use those cards for people who have no connection to the original signers.