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-   -   I'm being set up by the Clintons (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=4066)

Rush Limballs 10-03-2003 12:52 AM

I'm being set up by the Clintons
 
What more is there to say?

Conservatives hate illegal drug use. Do you really think I could be involved with the illegal use of prescription painkillers?

xoxoxoBruce 10-03-2003 03:28 AM

You're rich, famous, politically connected, powerful, influential and therefore above the law the controls the huddled masses.

SteveDallas 10-03-2003 09:03 AM

Ahhhh I was wondering how long it would be before this one came up here! It's been a bad coupla days for Rush.

I have to say I'm skeptical. It seems unlikely to me that that huge quantity of pills could be delivered to somebody as high-profile as Rush for so long without somebody noticing. (Yeah, I'm sure he used go-betweens. Still.)

Undertoad 10-03-2003 09:36 AM

The maid says she has audio. I can't wait.

russotto 10-03-2003 10:04 AM

Just being Rush Limbaugh is probably painful enough that all those pills were legitimate :p

dave 10-03-2003 10:38 AM

That warranted a hearty chuckle. Very nice.

Radar 10-03-2003 11:13 AM

Maybe it was one of Rush's "Youthful Indescretions". I hear it's ok for Repubicans to have those. Those who aren't republicans are criminal "drug users" who should be jailed and those who are republican have "youthful indescretions" and should be appointed president by the Supreme Court.

Undertoad 10-03-2003 11:22 AM

I just listened to his show opening to see what he would have to say about the drug angle, and he gave what one could only call a bizarre non-denial.

It was fun to imagine millions of stunned ditto-heads sitting there saying "say it ain't so!". Rush said "Trust me" and "I'm humbled by your support" and "I'm trying to get to the bottom of this" and "I'm confused by everything going on" and "my listeners are like family" and "thank you for your supportive emails". But not once did he say anything remotely like "it ain't so" or "I have never tried to get prescription drugs from my housekeeper, and the facts will bear this out." Not even the expected "Wahhh, wahhh, they're attacking me/us again! Al Franken probably did drugs in the 70s and nobody said anything!"

Rush Limballs 10-03-2003 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
Blah, blah, blah.... above the law [that] controls the huddled masses.
Bruce, are you from Rio Linda?

I am hated by tens of millions of people who have *never even listened to my show*! Democrats politicians use *my name* in vain during campaigns to garner support and they would like nothing more than to see me dethroned (because I know these liberals like the back of my hand and I expose what they really think and do).

I am not above the law! I cant afford to be, the left looks to attack me from any and every angle. When was the last time *you* had your tax returns audited seven consecutive years?

The left , or should I say, the Clintons, will stop at nothing to discredit me.

(Rush reaches for small bag of M & M's with "substandard" looking candies inside...pours a few in his hand and downs them)

Rush Limballs 10-03-2003 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SteveDallas
Ahhhh I was wondering how long it would be before this one came up here! It's been a bad coupla days for Rush.

It was just a coincindence that the "racially insensitive" NFL comment/my resignation came in the same week as the National Enquirer (??!!) release of some ridiculous allegations.

Since when does this rag have any credibility? I dont even consider it's articles material for the show, even when they bash dems!

God 10-03-2003 01:40 PM

You just cant predict what some people will do with the talent you *lend them* (From RL's show - talent on loan from God)


As for the audio tapes, I was wondering why WJC was praying so much for a miracle.

Yes, I do hear everyone's prayers even if they mock me and use my houses for raising campaign cash contributions to gain power and ultimately remove me from the finest country on your little planet, the one I had a major hand in creating.


As for assistance with prayers......thats another story entirely.

slang 10-03-2003 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Radar
and should be appointed president by the Supreme Court.
The Supreme Court stopped the illegal activity of the state supreme court and did *not* appoint Bush.

I know, you have all the background and details and you hate Bush. Hate him for something *real*, not this. There are many things you can pick to hate him for.....like the war.


The drug "policy" of the reps *is* a disaster, we are in complete agreement on that point. There is a great deal of hypocracy over the whole issue.

Kofi Annan 10-03-2003 01:53 PM

Ring, ring.....ring, ring.....


MediaConspiracyMan: Hello.

Kofi: Yes, it's me.....THE MAN

MediaConspiracyMan: Who the fuck is this ....you know I can have this call traced in 2 seconds dumbass. Try pranking another number!

Kofi: It's the *UN MAN*, the one who pays your salary assface!

MediaConspiracyMan: Ohh shit....sorry sir.

Kofi: I just called to say.....nice work on the Rush smear.

click

Radar 10-03-2003 02:27 PM

Quote:

I know, you have all the background and details and you hate Bush. Hate him for something *real*, not this.
Don't worry I've got dozens upon dozens of reasons to hate him other than the questionable means by which he came to hold the office of the presidency.

Here's the biggest reasons.

1. He has violated the Constitution more than all other presidents combined including Lincoln.

2. He started an unconstitutional war without provocation against a non-threatening sovereign nation.

3. His ignorance and poor excuse for foreign policy has nearly taken us to WW3 (See his refusal to apologize to China for spying on them)

4. He spends more money than any Democrat including increased spending on unconstitutional social welfare programs.

5. He's a military deserter and a draft dodger.

6. He championed the single most unconstitutional piece of legislation ever in the United States (The Patriot Act)

7. He created a new and unconstitutional part of government (Homeland Security Department)

8. He's a lying weasel and a hypocrite. He was a coke head and now wants to lock others up for using drugs.

9. He has attempted to mix church and state by giving government money to churches.

10. He is a mass murderer who is no better than Saddam Hussein or Osama Bin Laden.


I could go on and on, but you get the point.

Griff 10-03-2003 02:28 PM

Thanks for the afternoon laugh, keep up the good work. :)

We shoulda seen this coming a mile away but I never thought anyone would dare screw with Rush. I'm holding my breath waiting for the "youthful indiscretions" speech, that should be a cool wav file. The interesting thing is how this is coming during the Democratic offensive casting around for a charasmatic lefty radio guy along with Frankens usual stuff... funny timing. If Rush melts down who can the right run with?

Radar 10-03-2003 03:34 PM

Tom Leykis is far better than Rush anyway. The right could use Larry Elder since he's a Republican acting like a Libertarian.

ThreadHijackMan 10-03-2003 03:37 PM

1 Attachment(s)
I saw this pic in some website I found somewhere.


The way the light hits the walls is really cool. Does anyone else out there think this couch is from Malaysia? I think it is.

SteveDallas 10-03-2003 03:39 PM

Dude, I saw that same couch on the Costco web site.

Ummmm cept the cushions were different.

Griff 10-03-2003 03:49 PM

I like the faux concrete block background. Very classy.

slang 10-03-2003 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Radar
Don't worry .............but you get the point.

Ok. So you wont be voting for W, I can handle that. Your opinions seem a bit far fetched but I greatly appreciate your rational reply.
The "new" Radar is far more enjoyable than the old......but, didnt you realize this is a funny thread? Not to be taken seriously?


I dont have the time or the inclination to debate with you guys about anything. Fuck that, I want to see some humor! If I wanted to debate, argue, and research minute details for points that have no value in the minds of those I am presenting them to I'd go talk to my dad instead!

PhuctIfiNo 10-03-2003 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThreadHijackMan
Does anyone else out there think this couch is from Malaysia?
I was thinking China. Phuctifino

ThreadHijackMan 10-03-2003 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Griff
I like the faux concrete block background. Very classy.
I think your sandals would match the room quite nicely.


Dont pass up the look of the fine looking plant too.

Griff 10-03-2003 04:10 PM

I have a plant but isn't the room a little Saddamy?

Rush Limballs 10-03-2003 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Undertoad
I just listened to his show opening to see what he would have to say about the drug angle, and he gave what one could only call a bizarre non-denial.
What should I do, give Clinton and Kofi ammo? There is nothing to this, just some allegations.

Ok, so now there is an investigation in process, big deal. The NE held this "story" for 2 years! Why? Could this have anything to do with the recent proposals to change in the "fairness act"? This is a orchestrated effort to silence me, anyone (not from Rio Linda) can see through this. This whole circus should frighten everyone *more* than the paranoia surrounding the Patriot Act?

If not for the proposed changes in the FCC law, the left would be powerless to eliminate me. My listeners will support me, they're a subculture unto themselves! They arent going anywhere. Besides, the show is funny. My personal credibility is not critical for the show to succeed.....ever heard of G Gordon Liddy?

Saddam Hussein 10-03-2003 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Griff
I have a plant but isn't the room a little Saddamy?

(looks at the walls in the pic)

No shackles...no blood stains....no severed heads. No, this room is not up to par for me.

When I return to power though, I'll have a room like no other, wallpapered with the hides of US troops and Iraqi traitors!

slang 10-03-2003 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Radar
Tom Leykis is far better than Rush anyway.
I think Leykis is good too, I cant get his program here though. IMO Rush isnt going anywhere anyway, unless there is a major change in the FCC laws.

There is a lot of money riding on Rush's show. Many people make tonsacash with it. I know of many other talk show hosts, there is no substitiute ( except for Walter Williams ). There are millions who also feel the same. That big of dedicated audience will continue to support the show financially.

elSicomoro 10-03-2003 05:59 PM

Compared to this, Rush's remarks were nothing.

slang 10-03-2003 07:28 PM

This whole ESPN issue is a little vague for me because I dont really know much about football.

There was a comment made on the sunday show. Rush said that he didnt think a quaterback named McNabb was as good as he was hyped to be. Is he good? That's your call, I dont know. Rush then went on to say that maybe the NFL (or other sports media), in hopes that there would be a great black quarterback, were *over* promoting McNabb in hopes he would become exactly that.

Someone please help me out with this. I dont see the insult to McNabb in this statement. Rush was critiqing the media and their supposed over rating of a black QB in the hopes of "leveling the playing field" with the white QBs.

At any rate, those that dislike Rush can be content with him no longer being at ESPN and him not collecting the <a href="http://cnyradio.com/q?m=1&i=49"<a>285 million bucks</a> his contract was for.

elSicomoro 10-03-2003 10:07 PM

This is the exact quote (from ESPN):

"Sorry to say this, I don't think he's been that good from the get-go," Limbaugh said. "I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. There is a little hope invested in McNabb, and he got a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve. The defense carried this team."

On the surface, the comment seems harmless. I personally didn't find it to be a big deal. Rush doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to Donovan McNabb. And you can't claim I'm biased b/c the Eagles are by no means my favorite team.

(And quite frankly, let's look at the black QB's in the NFL: They're all fairly good. Rodney Peete is probably the worst of them, and he still has starter potential.)

But it's what one could construe from the quote. Do I think Rush is racist? Honestly, no...plus, regardless of how outspoken he is, I don't think he would let himself slip up on something like that. But he has a history of being a firebrand. One could take Rush's comment to mean that black quarterbacks aren't as good as white quarterbacks. And unfortunately, in many cases, there are underlying meanings and feelings behind one's words. He could have merely said, "Donovan McNabb is overrated, and I think the NFL pushes him too much." Yeah, one could also misconstrue that, but the race issue is not front and center. Bottom line: innocent words? I think so. Stupid words? Definitely.

Rush was brought on by Disney b/c he pulls slang-type folks. No, not gun-toting hillbillies, but that all-important 25-to-54 male demographic. If we look at the ratings, who do you think are the majority of people that watch football? Who do you think are the majority of people that listen to Rush?

It's done though. Rush is out of job with ESPN. McNabb will throw for over 300 yards Sunday.

But I definitely want to see how this drug situation is going to play out. And what may be the funniest/saddest thing about it--if it is indeed true--is that the story was broken by the Enquirer.

Undertoad 10-03-2003 11:22 PM

The statement was wrong in subtle and telling ways.

It was completely wrong football-wise, because McNabb is a brilliant and revolutionary quarterback who has led a team with no other offensive stars to the NFC Championship game twice in a row, and elected to the Pro Bowl by his peers three times.

It was quite wrong as a statement about the media. The media certainly did go through a hopeful period for black quarterbacks, in 1986-1991 or so. They are way over it because at this point black QBs are typical... and ordinary. Frankly if anyone had any hope left in their hope for great black quarterbacking, they would have used it up with Kordell in the last few years.

So at this point, who thinks the media gives a crap? In order to think the media gives a crap one way or the other, you have to insert your own perception into the mix.

Think about it. McNabb has a few bad games, and the commentators say oh he's just having a few bad games, he'll turn it around and return to greatness. We, the football watchers and McNabb watchers say yes, that's what happens in the NFL. But Limbucket takes it to mean they're rooting for him, because to Limbucket, the notion that McNabb is black is primary in his mind. They're talking about him being great -- it must be because he's black!

The funny thing about this is, conservatives in general have been trying to put race behind them, and the Republicans specifically have been desperate to put race behind them, and this gasbag whips it right back out in front.

elSicomoro 10-04-2003 12:11 AM

Interesting perspective El Sapo...

Perhaps it's time for the GOP and conservatives to roll out the "Black Carpet", starring:

--Alan Keyes
--Lt. Gov. Michael Steele of Maryland
--Former Congressman JC Watts of Oklahoma
--Condi Rice
--Lt. Gov. Jennette Bradley of Ohio
--Ward Connolly

And this from his show today: "It's amazing to me that this is a controversy at all. Had what I said been said by anybody else ... it wouldn't have even gotten noticed," he said Friday.

Is that deafness affecting his brain now?

xoxoxoBruce 10-04-2003 12:12 AM

I wonder what the reaction to the same statement from Howard Cosell would have been?
As much as I dislike Rush, I think people are pissed not at what he said but what he *might* have meant. Or why *they* think he said it.
Of course he made the Eagles look foolish for spending $112,000,000.... if he's right.;)

Whit 10-04-2003 12:13 AM

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Just to put this in perspective a bit. I remember a black NBA athlete catching all kinds of flak because he said something to the effect of Larry Byrd would be just another player if he was black. Very similar comment.
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Just making the point that this door swings both ways, and if that's the case Rush deserved to be hit in the ass by it.

SteveDallas 10-04-2003 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sycamore

Rush was brought on by Disney b/c he pulls slang-type folks. No, not gun-toting hillbillies, but that all-important 25-to-54 male demographic. If we look at the ratings, who do you think are the majority of people that watch football? Who do you think are the majority of people that listen to Rush?

That's why I think this whole business is so amusing. The comment was about what I'd expect from Rush, and would maybe have not attracted that much attention if he'd said it on his radio show. I don't know what ESPN was thinking Rush would have to contribute to football commentary, but surely it was to be expected that he'd say something that would get people riled up--that's what he does for a living. So I suspect ESPN may be concerned not just about this statement, but about the fact that Rush is likely to spout off like this every single week. (Which, again, they should have known when they hired him.)

Rush Limballs 10-05-2003 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SteveDallas
... but surely it was to be expected that he'd say something that would get people riled up--that's what he does for a living.
I have to admit, I was surprised at the original contract offer. At the same time, it was for.....did anyone mention.....285 million clams, too much for me to pass up.

Ol' Rushbo has been played. To think THE MAN would allow and even encourage me to expand my sphere of influence is quite a stretch.

Al Gore smoking 10-05-2003 10:14 PM

Hello Al,

As you may have noticed, there is a "campaign before the campaign" in process as we speak. We need to ensure the success of Hillary's presidential bid, whether it be '04 or '08. The plan to accomplish this is obviously making W look bad. If we eliminate Rush and Fox News, we can retain our rightful position in the Federal gov't through elections instead of a communist takeover that we reserve as our nukular option. The people are confused by these right wing crazies and it is our duty to remove their opinions from the general discussion and inject our truth.

This is where you come in. Take one for the team Al, and go on O'Reilly's show. It isnt important that you make any coherent points. We will suppliment the video signal with a newly developed subliminal manipulation program. It creates a favorable impression without a person's awareness or rationale as to why. Once you go on the show, we can test the program's effectiveness. If the numbers work in our favor after your appearance we'll schedule a spot for Her Highness. Once we have the Fox News viewership under our control (again) we can move forward as we did when you and Willy were in the White House.

We need your help and we'll get you a real job should we prevail from your direct assitance. It will likely be possible for me to arrange a "special meeting" with you and Rush. At that time you can bitch slap Rush for all the Shanklin paradies and such over the years. And dont worry, we'll have some thugs holding him down so you dont get your ass kicked.

After we get control back again, it is my personal goal to give cowboy hats the same social stigma as Hitler's mini-stache.

Thanks in advance for your compliance

kofi

elSicomoro 10-05-2003 10:16 PM

Hey stupid, you used the wrong character.

wolf 10-05-2003 10:22 PM

I thought AGS was supposed to be so stupid that he would forward mail from Kofi to The Cellar.

(Okay, so it's a stretch, but you're free to use the excuse if you need it, hon)

elSicomoro 10-05-2003 10:25 PM

If he's gonna go Sybil on us, he could at least get it right. :)

slang 10-05-2003 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sycamore
Hey stupid, you used the wrong character.

Relax, I'm trying to set this up as Al reading the letter.

(christ this is a rough crowd)

SteveDallas 10-05-2003 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by slang

(christ this is a rough crowd)

Yeah, well, we're the angry web lemmings... we eat newbies for breakfast.. what did you expect???? :blunt:

ThreadHijackMan 10-05-2003 10:50 PM

1 Attachment(s)
I found this pic and changed it. I am skilled.

AngryWebLemming 10-05-2003 11:14 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally posted by SteveDallas
Yeah, well, we're the angry web lemmings... we eat newbies for breakfast.. what did you expect????
I am angry but not hateful.

Rush Limballs 10-05-2003 11:35 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Ok, here is the cover.

Where are the police coming to arrest me? Why hasn't any other news source reported this as a done deal?

There was also a report from ESPN that supported me early last week that has mysteriously dissappeared

God damned you Kofi!

And another thing, I know you shopped this pic to make me look fat!

darclauz 10-06-2003 11:10 AM

1 Attachment(s)
:( i don't think you look fat, rush.

SteveDallas 10-06-2003 01:57 PM

Forget Rush! Is Elle OK??? :confused:

Rush Limballs 10-07-2003 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SteveDallas
Forget Rush! Is Elle OK???
I saw her in rehab.

The hospital staff was paying way too much attention to her for my ego to handle. They wanted to get into her pants more than they wanted to hear me blab on and on .....for hours and hours.

slang 10-07-2003 03:41 AM

HEY!

Did I just hear you say on your broadcast that you love your listeners? :vomit:

When did you fall in love? When your income from the show seemed like it might trickle off because of Kofi's smear?

God 10-07-2003 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by slang
Did I just hear you say on your broadcast that you love your listeners?
Notice he didnt specify what race of listeners he loves.

Rush Limballs 10-07-2003 03:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by slang
When did you fall in love? When your income from the show seemed like it might trickle off because of Kofi's smear?

Mr Snerdley, would you kill Slang's 24/7 membership? Yes, kill the love.


No, wait! I'd need to refund the balance. Never mind.

Donovan McNads 10-09-2003 03:43 AM

I just wish you hadnt used *me* in your little comment.


Now I gotta *bust my ass* 24/7 !

Thanks!

Rush Limballs 10-10-2003 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Donovan McNads
Taking Rush's Oxycotin for the pain
Bad idea Nads.

Yes, it's true. I am addicted to prescription painkillers


As I said in the last remaining moments of my show today, I will be going into full detox for this addiction. This program lasts 30 days and I will have my regular guest hosts take over the show until I return.

I fisrt started using these drugs after an unsuccessful back surgery and have continued for the past 4 years.

(thinks to self-- maybe I *shouldnt be golfing if I have that bad of a back pain*!)

Thank you all for the letters and call of support, I appreciate them more than you will ever know.

God 10-10-2003 03:47 PM

In a amazing reversal, millions of people are now hoping you recover from this Rush.

Normally I get several million prayers a day requesting that you get hit by a bus. They normally are shifted directly into the circular file.

Now there are millions of sincere prayers for me to help you.

I'll work on you as hard as you do!

slang 10-10-2003 04:02 PM

(dialing)

1-800-288-2882

ring...ring

Rush: Yes?

Slang: Hey Rush, smee. Slang.

Rush: (silence)

Slang: I was just wonderin' if you were going to sue the Golfing establishment(s) of the country the same way the dems are suing the firearms industries? It seems pretty clear that thay are responsible for your addiction. The firearms lawsuits are about as weak as you suing golf(tm) for your back pain but since they started the ball rolling.......

Rush: (click)

Slang: Hello?

wolf 10-10-2003 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rush Limballs
Yes, it's true. I am addicted to prescription painkillers
A discrete and secure detox bed awaits you, should you need it, oh maha rushie. Nobody would ever think of looking here ... none of the media feeding frenzy associated with the Betty Ford Clinic. And we'll let you smoke your cigars.

Just one important question ... hard walls or soft ones?


(all joking aside ... prescription pain killers has got to be one of the worst addictions to beat, because, after all, you're addicted to something NOT because you were (originally) using it recreationally, but because it was essential for your ability to function.)

darclauz 10-11-2003 06:39 PM

Like Jimmy and Porn
 
I was thinking, Rush, that maybe you and Jimmy Swaggart should hang out. I mean, he was the anti-porn pornman and then there's you...mister conservative rxman. maybe if you apologize, someone will give you a tv pulpit.

elSicomoro 10-11-2003 07:03 PM

He's already had a TV show: early-to-mid 90s.

xoxoxoBruce 10-11-2003 07:29 PM

So he has a history of not being able to hold a job.;)

Rush Limballs 10-11-2003 07:53 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally posted by darclauz
...mister conservative rxman. maybe if you apologize, someone will give you a tv pulpit.
1) I dont *need* a tv pulpit, I have the most successful radio program in the history of planet Earth. No, make that the galaxy.

2) I'm not good at apologizing and I certainly dont cry like Jimmy "who's yer daddy" Swaggart.

Quote:

Originally posted by sycamore
He's already had a TV show: early-to-mid 90s.
If you think back, you'll remember the show was on at 2 or 3 am! I couldnt get the liberal execs to give me any other spot. If I had gotten primetime, I'd have the most successful TV and radio programs in the history of the galaxy .

elSicomoro 10-11-2003 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rush Limballs
If you think back, you'll remember the show was on at 2 or 3 am!
Not where I lived--it was on at 11:30pm, right after Johnny Carson/Jay Leno.


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