Insensitive items that may have been pondered
 

Have you ever thought of something, but then put it in the back of your head quickly b/c you just KNEW it was wrong? To better explain, I present to you a couple of my recent brain sneezes:

Item #1: Why the hell would anyone kill Laci Peterson? Have you seen her? She was pretty hot...unless she was a nutcase.

Item #2: In Philadelphia, we apparently have a groper on the loose. He has grabbed 10 women in the past week...apparently, he rides by on a 10-speed bike, gropes their breasts or ass, and takes off.

Big fucking deal. So a guy grabs your boob or ass...are you going to tell me that it hasn't happened before? It's not like he grabbed your twat or anything.

Your turn...

Yeah, I do that about everyone. Same about Laci Peterson, etc. I'm only human.

The old saw"No matter how good she looks, someone, somewhere is tired of her shit" comes to mind.

Sounds like trying to write grafitti on a moving truck from a motorcycle. Dangerous.

Oooow! Are you gonna burn.:eek:

Nah, I'm probably more likely to go to hell for all the shit I came up with after 9/11. That, and all the racial/ethnic/religious crap I come up with.

*light bulb pops on*

I don't know why I couldn't think of a better description earlier for these types of thoughts--lack of sleep, maybe. The term that best describes these thoughts is very politically incorrect humor. Duh! Sorry about that folks.

I have a very twisted sense of humor. I find humor in everything--happy/sad, good/bad, sacred/sacriligious. No one or thing is safe--an equal opportunity offender. Of course, I don't dare say some of it in public due to the outrage it would/could generate. Fortunately, Rho's sense of humor is as twisted as mine. And one only needs to look at some of the posts that Dave and I have generated as further online evidence.

What I find to be fun is driving down the highway and half paying attention to the billboards lined up beside the highway. Sometimes my brain will process only part of the content from the sign and it will fill the rest of it in semi-randomly. When my minds devises a particularly strange sign, I double take and then find it highly amusing.

The most recent time that this happened, I saw a sign on the road to Bonners Ferry that said

I think that qualifies for politically incorrect.

Thank god I thought I was the only one that did that. I think it comes from reading too fast. I'm so used to filling in blanks without actually reading what's on the page when I read books that when I see a sign I just fill in every 3rd or 4th word with whatever context I'm thinking in at the time. You can see a lot of things that make you take a second look to correct yourself.

http://cellar.org/2003/ironmyshirt.jpg

It's the guy's yellow sign.

"Iron my shirt"

     I have a thing for church signs that don't sound right. I've got several pics of such but I'll just tell you what they say to conserve bandwidth.

"You will recieve the power when the holy spirit comes on you"
"A loose tongue often gets into a tight place"
"The tongue being in a wet place is apt to slip"
"And behold I come quickly"
"Don't focus on you needs focus on your knees"
"The most powerful position is on your knees"

     These all make church seem like a fun place, but this next one kinda spooks me.
"Don't let worries kill you let the church help"

     I also remember one from years back that I don't have a pic of that said, "Take a friend to heaven."

I believe that photograph features ALL the protestors that showed up at Augusta. Nobody really cared. You can certainly feel the enthusiasm pouring off them, can't you?

I was thinking more along the lines of tied to a stake at a NOW convention.;)

I had a moment similar to Torrere's today.

There is a charter school at the strip mall up the street from me. The name of it is Raising Horizons School. I initially thought the sign said Raging Hormones.

There is (it seems to me) a growing Anti-Choice billboard champaign here. Each feature a cute white giggly baby with that elastic head bow thing with a message please to not kill me, my DNA is your DNA. One near our house has huge letters that say " I HAVE MY DADDY'S EYES!" While driving by, my spouse added "Mommy keeps them in a jar on the dresser."

While I was driving through Ohio, I saw a ton of Highway Dept. signs urging people to slow down. They were written in "kidscrawl" and read like this:

Please slow down. My daddy works here. Thanks. Abbi

AND

Please slow down. My mommy works here. Thanks. Bobby

To which I would say almost every time I saw one, "Awww...that's cute. Too bad I don't give a damn about your mommy/daddy."

Now that I think about it, I should have said, "Ah, that must've been your daddy/mommy that I ran over about 30 miles back."

next time im up that way, ill have to take a picture of the actual sign. below is a reasonable facsimile. when driving south on i-25, just past loveland, on the side of the road there is a sign that looks approximately like this:

http://www.sugarbead.com/personal/ab...psabeating.jpg

just let that sink in. personally, i dont generally consider symbols to be part of proper sentence structure.

~james

     Not only is using a symbol in a sentance annoying. In this case it's not neccecarily true. It depends when the abortion accurs. I really hate this kind of half-truth as fact advertising.
     Hell, I haven't smoked a cigarette since the seventh grade, but since some of these anti-smoking commercials have come out I've seriously considered picking up the habit. Especially the one I heard where they liken asking someone to put out their cigarette to removing (various deadly animals) from their immediate vicinity. I remember one of them was a poisonous tree frog from their neck. This is stupid, sure smoking is unhealthy but it won't kill the average person within minutes.

i just like the unintentional comedy gleaned from the idea that abortion stops a beating. well, i guess it does.

~james

Ok, that made me chuckle.

Not really PI, but I'm so happy that it's raining this weekend...sorta. That way, all those fuckers that went to the Jersey Shore got completely screwed. No sunbathing, no boardwalk, no refund on the ridiculous amount you paid to stay down there. :D

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/interne....ap/index.html

The gist: There are sites where people meet each other so they can meet up and commit suicide together. This is in Japan. One 30 year old guy met up with 21 and 18 year old women and committed suicide.

My thoughts: Japanese woman are hot. If I were him, I would have definitely sexed them up first.

No doubt...might as well go out with a smile on your face.

     How would you approach someone you met for group-sucide for sexual favors? "Hey, since you won't be using that body after tomorrow, is it okay if I use it for awhile today?" Or the more crude, "Hey, why not go out with a bang?"

I doubt someone that depressed is in the mood for sex.

Whit, you didn't mention the obvious. How do you get sex out of a dual-suicide pact? "You first."

Well this IS the "Very Politically Incorrect Humor" thread.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. If necro ain't your thang, you could try and nail her as she's slipping away. Or just be blunt about it: "You mind if I fuck you before we go? I don't wanna die a virgin." So what if you're lying? She'll never know, and in an hour, it won't matter.

     I had actually considered the necro possibility. I just couldn't make myself run with it. Of course with some of the sick bastards on this forum I knew I didn't have to. :D
     'Sides, you gotta figure, if you can get a chic to die with you, then you can probably get a little first. It's not like her self-esteem can be really great if she wants to kill herself.

You could try the "we'll show them" line.
If it doesn't work then get her before she cools.
After all, I've had some that seemed dead.

Hey, maybe they did get some.

     Nah, if the thirty year old guy had just had a three-way with a 21 and an 18 year old he certainly would have found a reason to live.
     On the other hand, maybe he figured life was all down hill from there.

I have a twisted mind too. But I, on the other hand, can find sadness/pessimism in almost any situation. Help me get out of this permanent depression!!

     Dude, the key is to look at the shitstorm that is life and smile about it. I mean who really cares? Three people died and it's been a running joke on this thread for days. Sure the reality is that three lives were prematurely ended needlessly, undoubtedly cause grief and guilt among friends and family members, but screw it. Let's talk about if they got laid first.
     Dwelling on the sadness doesn't mean shit. Sure mentally ill people are starving to death on the streets of every major city, but how does my laughing at the idiocy that coats society like chocolate on a candy bar worsen the situation? It doesn't. Yet, my life becomes more enjoyable.
     It's all about making a decision, you get what you look for. Look for the funny shit. It's there, it's often the sad shit that's funny too. Try saying the dark funny shit out loud. The look on peoples faces often adds greatly to the humor.

Now that's living dangerously. You never know who's related to or know whom.
Prozac works well. It doesn't make life better but you won't care. My doctor took mine away from me saying "losers aren't suppose to be happy".:rolleyes:

I'll do the off-color humor here b/c I've made it pretty clear where I'm coming from. Generally, I shy away from it in person unless I'm doing it to get a rise out of someone--e.g. my parents.

     I dunno... I think I'm always fairly polite, but I think I'm more so on the internet. Maybe 'cause I'd hate to be one of these internet tough guys. I've said some pretty rough shtuff in person, but internet smack talk is for the weakminded IMO. I guess I believe that talking shit is okay only when you're looking the guy in the eye. Actual conversation:
Me: That was manly of you.
Guy: Hey, I've been married for seven years, kept the same woman satisfied for seven years, you don't hear her complain.
Me: Well I'm glad to hear you've got some good neighbors.
Guy: What do neighbors have to do with it.
'Nother Guy: (smiling) You know Whit, sometimes you can be a real son of a bitch.
     I laughed my ass off at that. The first guy walked. I'd never say something like that to somebody that couldn't deck me for it. It wouldn't be right. Sure, I've stuck my foot in my mouth to the knee a few times. Like making a joke about people trying to have kids when I have them when I'm trying not to, only to find out one of the couples at the table had been trying for years. Or a neutral remark about a friends dad only to find out the dad had died a fw hours before.
     Screw it, I'm going to make comments and laugh at people even if I could get my ass kicked for it. That's half the fun.

     On the subject, I just IM'd Juju, who knows me both as a name on the screen and personaly. He seems to think I'm nicer online because I can't look at people. Appearntly,I have a tendency to laugh at people that don't catch what I'm talking about, as if it meant they were stupid. Go figure. Um... Well, I may have laughed at a few people... I still think I'm pretty polite overall.

You also intentionally go over people's heads just for the same of amusing yourself and others. This in turn humiliates the target and makes them feel dumb. It's probably your favorite thing to do in the whole world, laughing at other people's expense. Nevermind the alienation factor, as long as you get your kicks. :)

     Well, yeah. But my point is that I only do that in person. It wouldn't be any fun on the 'net.

This story really isn't funny, but for some reason, it made me laugh.