Adding insult to injury or Moving forward?
 

Yeh, apparently that wasn't enough shit for one day. I ended the 11 year relationship with my GF as well. Issues have been brewing for some time and the distance from her was more than I am willing to take. I want to be with someone who WANTS to be with me also. That hasn't been the case for too long. So yeh. Merry F'ing Holidays.
I am already gutted as I never thought that we'd be apart and I am now facing more uncertainty as the future unfolds. I'm a people person, I don't want to do the alone thing. I WANT to share my life with someone. I want to hold hands, hug and kiss. Is that really too much to ask for? Fuuuuuck. I'm not sure if I'm more hurt, sad or mad. Keeping busy is going to be essential, methinks.

What?

*stunned*

Dang dude! Sorry to hear of this...

Oh Classic! How awful! You are in my thoughts. X


Sent by magic.

Every cloud has a silver lining; however, silver is a great conductor of electricity so you may feel a little shock.

That sucks! Guess you're starting fresh with the new year.:(

You've been in uncertain places before, and always come out on top. It will work itself out, one way or another, and you're strong enough to see it through.

Thanks all. We'll see... I'm still shocked. I didn't plan or mean to do it. It came out of another awkward conversation about nothing. These used to be so fluid and easy and positive. For the last couple months they haven't been. She has been basically ambivalent as to whether we saw each other or not. We've been down to 1 day a week for too long. She said she was going to her mom's for NYE and if I wanted to go to some party or something to go ahead and go. I was stunned. I LIVED to see her each week and it was obvious she didn't feel the same anymore. :( She would rather be with no one than be with me. That was the knife that cut too deep. I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm hurt, sad, angry and heartbroken, but it was too painful to be with or now even talk to her knowing that.

It will take a long while to break out of this fog, Classic. All you can do is move right along with it. It will follow you everywere.

And then it wont. Just hold on till then. My heart wishes you strength and comfort. Be especially forgiving with yourself.

I'm sorry classic. That sucks. But good for you for taking control of things and not just waiting around for her.

Well, I'm easy, but, I ain't cheap.:jig:

Sorry man, time to write another chapter.

I'm sorry, classic. From what you've said, it sounds like something had to happen. Doesn't make it easier though.

Sorry, classic.

:hug:

Sorry classic, Women are like that.

Thanks all. I'm not usually good with processing my emotions, or maybe I lie to myself, but I'm not really missing HER or wondering what she is doing. I realize I'm missing being in a relationship with someone who cares about me and wants to be with me more so than I am missing her specifically.
She changed since her beloved cat died almost a year ago. She always referred to him as the "love of her life". Ironic eh? She became more reclusive and introverted - distant. She's a beautiful person, but she just isn't in love with me anymore. I'm feeling much better than I think I would have anticipated.
Yesterday I had a total meltdown when I realized I would be seeing my other cat (her cat) anymore. Whenever I was there, he slept next to my head and nudged me frequently for love.
I'll post some happier stuff elsewhere, I promise.

Just steal the cat.
She owes you.

Nope. Some women are like that. Some men are like that. X


Sent by magic.

Oh fuck, I know what you mean...I think it might be the cause of a lot of my anxiety.

Get a kitten. It will take your mind off a lot of things...:)

Kitten, hell.

Get some strange.

That'll take your mind off her. For a minute.

I wish I could. :'( Seriously, Missing him has been the hardest part of this. How fucked up is that?!?!?!?!??!?!
Looking to rescue a 5yr old. There are way too many kittens out there and the older ones need homes way more.

"I miss the cat more than I miss her."

That's a sign.

:)

Great idea. So many adult cats need homes. Plus, they've been spayed/neutered, vaccinated, etc., by the shelter if not by their former owners. Not declawed, hopefully.

Get the cat!!!

Sidenote: i watched The Three Lives of Thomasina yesterday. Sweet old movie. Made me miss my orange tabby Madison.

Sorry about the cat thing. I'm sorry that you got more emotional validation from the cat than from the person, and that you are now missing the cat. And I'm sorry that the cat thing is even a thing. You know what I mean, I hope.

I wonder if he misses the pussy as much as he misses the pussy...

Ah damn, Classic, that is a sucky way to end 2016. Well done for recognising the situation you were in and taking control. People can waste a lot of years just getting by with something that isn't making them happy.

You deserve someone who is as into you as you are into them.

Well, I'm easy *and* cheap, but I'm taken.:hugnkiss:

Funny how you guys always know how to make me smile.Thanks for that.

I am late reading this thread, but glad to see someone made my joke for me. Good job, digr.

Apathy is a bitch. Glad you had the self respect to confront it. She is out there. You will find her.

Of this I am sure. You don't even have to search. Just be you, and pay attention.

Sides, you've got bigger fish to fry right now.

Thanks Jim.
By the way - I went to the DSO concert on NYE at the Electric Factory with Dannyboy, Holy Hell that was fantastic. They started at 8:40pm and didn't finish the third set till 2:15am. We were front and center the whole night - literally.
In the middle of the third (I think) set these two girls began performing above the crowd. It was crazy. Even the band was staring at them while playing.

Nice. Looks like a fun night

Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk

Just heard that DSO is playing in New Orleans in April. They are recreating a famous Dead Show on its 40th anniversary at the same venue. Copping a fuck it and planning the trip. I'm moving on - literally.

Staying home and feeling guilty is NOT working for me. I'm too old to waste time thinking about someone who doesn't seem to give a crap about me.
She's a good person and all, I'm guessing somehow we grew apart and that's just how it goes.

Glad to help!

First contact post dissolution has been made. She texted me late Thursday night to inform me that she had to put one of her cats down. Struck me right in the heart. I'm embarrassed to say that I missed them - a lot. And now I'll never have had the chance to say goodbye properly. Fuck.
I replied with my condolences and nothing more.
She pretty much did the same. It was surreal, in a way. I immediately felt like I wanted to be there for her. To comfort her and help share/lessen the burden of her grief... Seemingly no desire for that on her side. I'm feeling guilty in a weird way and then at the same time not at all. sigh ...

That was an amicable gesture. After all, it's not like you married her and adopted her cats.

Kinda feels like we were ... after 11 years. I was there when both the new cats were adopted. I was there when the first was put down. Now they are both gone and there is only the old man left. He's about 17+ now. He and I bonded the most. He slept next to my head every time I was there. I miss him. I want to say goodbye to him. Is that selfish of me?

Unless you can establish a common law marriage, you didn't accept joint responsibility for the cats. Feeling the way you feel is fine. Acting on it would be selfish without an invitation.

yeh ... thats kinda where I am in my head. We didn't live together, so there is nothing formal at all. I just miss him and knowing he is old, I'd like to see him one more time. I'd like to say goodbye properly instead of just disappearing. Though I'm not sure if that will make it better or worse.

Do you have something of hers you could return to her, using this as a pretense of seeing Old Man Kitteh? Does she have something of yours you could go ask after, also using this as a pretense of seeing Old Man Kitteh?

"Hi, Sorry I didn't call first, but I just wanted to return your sweater that you lef--Oh,there's Old Man Kitteh. Hey, boy!"

And then fuck her and her sweater, and love on OMK.;)

:lol::lol: @ gravedigr.

That's a variation of The Leave Behind, as performed by George Costanza on Seinfeld.

During a break-up ya leave something behind at her house, so you can return for it later. Then ya try to weasel your way back into the relationship.

:lol2::rotflol: @Grav.

Sadly, the only things I have of hers are gifts from days gone by and the only things at her place are pretty much the same - damn you! I just remembered I gave her that cedar chest a few years ago. I spent months refurbishing that. I wanted it to be a family heirloom. :mad:

Soooooooooooo ... Its been over a month.

I'm occasionally reflecting on what happened and the why's... seems we just grew apart.
I feel the desire to tell her I'm sorry that I couldn't love her the way she needed to be loved. However I am dealing with a bigger issue now that became more evident over the last couple weeks. I actually had a GREAT WEEK at work and found myself wanting to share mu successes with ... her. Then it hit me that I lost that part also. I miss my best friend - a lot. That really sucks. :( :sniff:

Sorry man. Tell us about work!

Kickin' ass and takin' names. Like riding a bike. I booked 6 new advertisers, three of which are annual deals. Owner is most happy.

Bam! Like a Boss!

Fer real ... got a lead on a $100,000 deal today. To say that I am stoked is a sever understatement!

Dayum!

Sent by thought transference

A $100,000 deal is easy to find, it's the legal ones that are rare. :lol:

From the ashes ...
 

... so I met a girl. <3

Uh-oh.

Hell yeah!!!!

We'll see ... she is WAY outta my league. (yup, I said it - go ahead with the isn't everyone jokes)
Attractive, smart, amazingly talented, mature... I could go on and on. We had two dates and she still likes me. Distance is an issue, she lives an hour away, and her profession requires her to work most weekends. I'm totally infatuated with her at this point. She's a beautiful person inside and out. Everything is so easy with her. We've talked for hours & agree/want/ like so many of the same things. She reaches out to hold my hand (which in itself I like) and it fits so naturally. Everything is so easy with her, honestly, I'm a little scared/surprised -not sure how to describe it. Its the proverbial "too good to be true" right now. I need the fog of infatuation to clear out so I can see more clearly.
My last relationship was so one-sided and SO MUCH work on my part over the last 3-4 years, it was exhausting.
I still think she is way outta my league. That being said, I'm gonna just put myself out there and see what happens. Date three may not happen for a couple weeks as we both already have commitments on the weekends. That in itself is problematic as I'm not interested in another once a week type of relationship. We're supposed to talk and compare schedules again soon to figure something out.

We're on year six of a relationship that began with an hour plus travel time between us. Take heart!

Oh Classic, don't do yourself down, don't sell yourself short. You are attractive, smart, amazingly talented, mature and much much more! Good luck, mate! (Mr Limey and I dated on a fortnightly schedule flying from one end of the country to the other to see each other at the start. One hour is NOTHING!).

Thanks ... I'm just concerned with her schedule - concerts on most weekends etc. - and mine 8-5ish during the week... I just got out of a once a week, sorta long distance, saw her very little "relationship." Not really wanting to go back to that. She and I are on the same page right now. Hoping that keeps up. It's oddly easy to be happy with her. Maybe that is because its new, but I really don't remember it being like this in the past either. We'll see. Right now, I'm really happy. :)

A good sign.

I'll take it!

me too, thanks ... :)