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-   -   What wouldn't be improved by...... (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=32214)

monster 09-22-2016 06:24 PM

What wouldn't be improved by......
 
As I was picking green beans tonight, I really wished there was a cup/beer can holder right there in the vines, part of the assortment of stakes.... I have previously wished for one on my mower. But a bajillion years ago, I thought my kids stroller handle was a really stupid place for one because of the risk of spilling possible hot liquid on the baby......

Earlier in the day, I wished for cheese on my lunch. I remember a thread on here about the addition of sharp cheddar making everything better. But I remembered I had once been somewhere where extra cheese was a menu option, and I thought "if ever there was something you wouldn't want extra cheese on....."

So, what WOULDN'T be improved by adding.......

1) a cup holder
2) cheese
3) the company of a cat or dog
4) googly eyes
5) humor
6) a smile
7) an outlet and charging station
8) a lolcat caption
9) a write-in option
10) __________________

Undertoad 09-22-2016 06:35 PM

The Apollo spacecraft would not be improved by adding a cup holder. You can't use cups to drink liquid in space. You don't want to drink before launch, you'd probably vomit it up. There's not much room in the capsule, so it would have to be retractable; then it would never be swung out and used. But it would have to be highly engineered, and tested, so it would add to the cost of the project, for no good purpose.

monster 09-22-2016 06:42 PM

fair point. cat or dog might be tricky there too...

xoxoxoBruce 09-22-2016 07:24 PM

Quote:

I thought my kids stroller handle was a really stupid place for one because of the risk of spilling possible hot liquid on the baby......
Hot beer?

monster 09-22-2016 08:05 PM

absolutely

monster 09-22-2016 08:06 PM

I'm honestly failing to think of anything that wouldn't be improved by googly eyes.

Undertoad 09-22-2016 08:43 PM

A corpse at a funeral.

Gravdigr 09-22-2016 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster (Post 969544)
fair point. cat or dog might be tricky there too...

Well, cats are tricky anywhere...:neutral:

Undertoad 09-22-2016 09:02 PM

A cat would be improved with googly eyes

Clodfobble 09-22-2016 09:10 PM

Actual eyeballs would not be improved by googly eyes. The glue would make you scream and you'd lose all adorableness right off the bat. Eyelids is the closest you could get.

Happy Monkey 09-22-2016 09:56 PM

a page of text

Sundae 09-23-2016 06:56 AM

I'm not sure there's anything edible (and Western) that can't be improved by Tabasco. Oh and cheese. Except cornflakes.

What the heck were you being served which wouldn't have been approved by cheese?
Oh, rereading, you did write "extra" cheese. So maybe it was already at the cheese-limit.

And I'd still alway rather have a cat than not, UT. Even in space. Imagine how cute it would look in zero-g? I've dealt with another person's child having a poop explosion so extreme I had to wash his shoes out. I can float about with a net after a cat.

lumberjim 09-23-2016 01:34 PM

So, what WOULDN'T be improved by adding.......

1) a cup holder

A cup

2) cheese

Hot fudge sundae
3) the company of a cat or dog

Sex
4) googly eyes

Marty Feldman
5) humor

Your sister dying at the WTC on 9/11
6) a smile

Rape

7) an outlet and charging station

Bathtub

8) a lolcat caption

Crime scene photos

9) a write-in option

This election. We're fucked


10) _________bacon


My diet

footfootfoot 09-23-2016 04:29 PM

Googly eyes would also be inappropriate at most crime scenes.

limey 09-23-2016 04:57 PM

There's a cheese limit?


Sent by thought transference

Gravdigr 09-24-2016 12:47 PM

Quote:

So, what WOULDN'T be improved by adding.......

10) __________________
What wouldn't be improved by adding chocolate?

lumberjim 09-24-2016 12:49 PM

Beer. I've never like chocolate stouts.

also sushi

Gravdigr 09-24-2016 01:54 PM

Oh, yeah...We just had this (chocolate beer) over in Products You Never Knew Existed, didn't we?

Yeah, no, skip the chocolate-on/in-everything. Wasn't thinking, apparently.

lumberjim 09-24-2016 02:12 PM

I can't think of anything that I could stump myself with.

monster 09-24-2016 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim (Post 969687)
I can't think of anything that I could stump myself with.

:eek:


....need suggestions? :eek: :eek: :eek:





/badmonster

lumberjim 09-24-2016 05:15 PM

A stump?

monster 09-24-2016 07:34 PM

1) a cup holder LAPTOP COMPUTER
2) cheese ....ICE MELT .......part of a science fair project several years back....
3) the company of a cat or dog QUALITY TIME WITH PET RODENTS
4) googly eyes .........
5) humor ..........
6) a smile ....PROSTATE EXAM
7) an outlet and charging station............ SHARK (BUT A DOLPHIN MIGHT....)
8) a lolcat caption TRUMP NEWS REPORT (too much of a good thing....)
9) a write-in option PLEDGE OF ALLEGANCE ...no wait... I retract that
10) __________________[/quote]

Clodfobble 09-24-2016 09:23 PM

What wouldn't be improved by an appropriate musical soundtrack?

xoxoxoBruce 09-24-2016 09:25 PM

Like Ravel's Bolero.

lumberjim 09-25-2016 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble (Post 969710)
What wouldn't be improved by an appropriate musical soundtrack?

A moment of silence?

Gravdigr 09-25-2016 11:57 AM

Here is a perfectly appropriate soundtrack for a moment (or three) of silence.

infinite monkey 09-25-2016 02:00 PM

Mendelssohn's Song Without Notes...

lumberjim 09-25-2016 02:24 PM

Loophole

Gravdigr 09-25-2016 03:23 PM

Cash could improve lots of things.

monster 09-25-2016 06:26 PM

cash can't improve class

infinite monkey 09-25-2016 07:43 PM

Definitive answer. I think money can make things easier, but it cannot buy class. :)

Sundae 09-26-2016 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by limey (Post 969623)
There's a cheese limit?

There is, but it's an EU specification, so we'll be fine now, after Brexit.
Ditto the Merkins after Trump, I'm sure.

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster (Post 969777)
cash can't improve class

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 969782)
Definitive answer. I think money can make things easier, but it cannot buy class. :)

Depends on your definition of class.
You can be classy in a dress bought from the market, but you'll never own "land".
You can treat people with decency and respect and still be sneered at for not having the right school tie.

Class as in caste is outdated. But if you mean simply good manners, I mostly agree. Except as I've said before, they vary from place to place. As a waitress in London I served very polite people who left a tip which probably wouldn't have paid for their children's crayons. And served Merkins who never said please or thank you, and summoned me with a wave of the hand, and the tip they left bought my groceries for a week.

Same with other nationalities. The French hate you mangling their language; the Sri Lankans love that you bothered to learn a few words; the Dutch simply can't understand what you are saying because it's such a tricky language to learn (by European standards)

On balance I think I'd rather have money. If what I was taught as good manners doesn't translate, at least currency does.

footfootfoot 09-26-2016 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim (Post 969679)
Beer. I've never like chocolate stouts.

also sushi

Agreed. Chocolate sushi pretty much blows. The only thing worse would be fish stouts.

Chocolate sushi stouts are right out.

footfootfoot 09-26-2016 06:45 PM

NO. FUCKING. WAY.

Just no.

http://mashable.com/2016/09/26/red-r...1#DmNr3t6eNkq6

lumberjim 09-26-2016 06:55 PM

I never like beers that have the words 'carmel, toasty, molasses, smoky, coffee, or chocolate' in the description.

I can tolerate 'floral notes, citrus rind, grassy, lemony, and spicy'

i look for 'balanced, dry hopped, clean finish, and crisp'

malty means too sweet.

monster 09-26-2016 07:36 PM

I do like chocolate, but it was never meant to be in adult beverages or savory food.

monster 09-26-2016 07:37 PM

also... my whites laundry load is not improved by chocolate

xoxoxoBruce 09-26-2016 07:37 PM

Hey Jim, my local ACME market has Victory beer.

monster 09-26-2016 07:39 PM

or cash, actually. it's a PITA drying out the bills, but you have to be so much more careful with the clothes too, so you don't tear the damp bills. cash definitely does not improve the laundry experience

footfootfoot 09-26-2016 07:42 PM

Seriously? Did none of you follow the link?

Burger flavored beer?

It's the fucking fourth horseman.

lumberjim 09-26-2016 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce (Post 969900)
Hey Jim, my local ACME market has Victory beer.

The little liquor store 2 blocks from my house has sour Monkey, tart ten, summer love, golden monkey and vital IPA.

I drivr by total wine on my way home though, so... I'm good

Griff 09-26-2016 08:27 PM

fellatio?

footfootfoot 09-27-2016 08:07 AM

NSFW Language
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff (Post 969915)
fellatio?


lumberjim 09-27-2016 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff (Post 969915)
fellatio?

Only thing I can think of is Bill Clinton's political career

Gravdigr 09-27-2016 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster (Post 969902)
or cash, actually. it's a PITA drying out the bills, but you have to be so much more careful with the clothes too, so you don't tear the damp bills. cash definitely does not improve the laundry experience

Your going at it wrong. Ya use the cash to pay someone else to do your laundry.

Foreigners, man.

Wait, she's not a foreigner anymore, is she?:)


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